WOW! From the bottom of my heart Thank You Thank You Thank You all! I loved and greatly appreciated the hugs and support, commiseration and encomium. I guess it's true: misery loves company! Although I am so sorry anyone has to feel stress during what should be an exciting, wonderful time. (Guess this applies to both remodeling as well as child-rearing, although it's laughable to think either could be without stress! Thats why two of my favorite parenting books are The B**ch in the House and Mothers Who Think.) You know the way the child of an alcoholic might be reluctant to ever drink for fear of turning into their parent? For me, that's the way I feel about yelling. My mother was mean as spit and her yelling was ugly, personal, belittling and usually segued into hitting. I'm sure this is why my yelling at my children rattled me so. I waited a long time to start my family (I was 34 when I had my first) so that I could go through therapy to ensure I did not turn into my mother. (I think this is common here in the States, not wanting to turn into our parents!) So more than you know, I sincerely, deeply appreciate the comments of telling me I handled it well and that I'm a good mother and haven't scarred my children for life. That's my biggest fear -- I mean, I am terrified of heights, but the fear of hurting my children paralyzes me. Yesterday (day after yelling) my 3.5 year-old and I attended a birthday party, dressed, at his urging (this was not a costume party), as Spiderman and Spidermom. He wanted everyone to know "we're superheroes together!" After we got home, my 19 month-old asked me for a "tickle-cuddle," so I guess they've both forgiven me as well as moved past it. Kids are more resilient than I give them credit for. Phew! hilltophome, I think you are right, that I need to just put the cats in the basement (where we hang out lots so they won't be without human companionship) because their long-term well-being is much more important than their short-term sun-worshiping. And with a wonderful user name like cat_mom, I bet she'll agree! kitchenkelly, thank you for the use of your morgue drawers! Even though I have a foul mouth and talk a big talk, I'm a pacifist, so I'm really hopeful I won't borrow them. But it'll make an excellent threat to the next jerk who crosses my path! (re: my foul mouth: The night of the dirty bathroom, my 3.5 year-old asked his daddy "Why's Dux [his name for me] 'so f***ing angry?'" Ahem.) Francy, thank you both for letting me know you've walked in my shoes as well as saying I handled it well! Coming from you, who has such a sweet presence here on GW, means a lot. raehelen and hilltophome, thank you for reminding me of two of my favorite self-soothers: chocolate and exercise. I really do need to just put the kiddos in the buggy and go out for a walk! Fresh air can do wonders. And if there's a chocolate treat for the three of us to have midway on our walk, all the better. (This is how I know the boys are genetically mine: they both love chocolate. One of my proudest achievements Â.) divamum, thank you for your impeccable list of daily to-dos and reminder of how hard this is supposed to be .... I'd really thought I was prepared after months of reading (hardships) here on GW, but clearly for some of it I was not. Need to renew my prescription for Perfect Pills! (note to self: first discover "Perfect Pills") plllog, thank you for telling me to forgive myself. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing for us to do, no? I remember a few years ago a casual acquaintance and I were chatting about how we never, ever heard our parents apologize to us when they were wrong, and how much it would have meant to us to have heard it. Not just because it would have made us feel appreciated but also because it would have been a great model for us in terms of how to behave. Thank you. And I loved your note about my husband relating to spa day! Now there's a brilliant idea. .... polly929, my hero! I am so sorry about the past two years -- hopefully this leap year will signal the start of something good for you. Bless your heart for working in healthcare (what you must see ...) and having no foul-language filter -- love it! socalthreems, I have loved following your kitchen and I am grateful for your nice note. I am with you on the no-smoking! And thank you for suggesting those ground rules. They are superb and have already (because of your suggestion) been passed on to the GC. Also, thank you for your perfect description of "feel[ing] the steam rising." That's it! But it seems like lots of the parents with whom I casually chat 'round here are either big-time prevaricators or Stepford Mommies; they absolutely deny getting frustrated with their kiddos (or occasionally bored with hanging out with toddlers all day long). That's when I wonder what in the hell must be wrong with me to feel this way? Many thanks to you and Francy for telling me I'm not alone. westsider40, from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry about ez (which could not be more apt a description!). I guess it's just easy for me to chalk it up to cultural differences, but I guess some people are just born that way. One silver lining for me is that living with my ez has made me so much stronger, forceful than I ever thought I could be. Because of dealing with his non-presence in many areas I've found a voice (okay, a yelling voice the other day!). I would rather he step up to bat every so often, but I do like the feeling of the empowerment I've developed while living with him. flyleft and mommycooks, thank you for your generous, unconditional support! Such kindness from people I donÂt even know. You and your notes are what should be in one of those MasterCard "Priceless" commercials! And, flyleft, the insurance with which I'm having trouble is ... United! Imagine that. I am so ticked about this, that medical insurance agencies are for-profit entities, and that now many of them are transferring their call centers off-shore, to minimize what they have to pay (US taxes, US salaries, US health care to their workers, etc.)! I guess I may be one of the stupidest people alive because for the life of me I still cannot understand why denying people legitimate, preventive / proactive healthcare is not as good as letting them get sick, suffer and / or die, or making them wait so that the treatment they will require ends up costing the insurance company even more. Seriously, what am I not getting? You all are amazing. IÂll never forget this.

boba1 writes: "I"ve had a Frigidaire front loader since October 2006. Absolutely no odor at all, clean smelling." We (our family, including my now deceased mother) have used only front loaders since 1936. (Not a typo: nineteen thirty-six, that's right.) Absolutely no odor at all, clean smelling. "I have used POWDER detergents 99% of the time (Sears, Tide, and I have the rare new Cheere HE Powder I got at Sam's).I have used POWDER detergents 99% of the time (Sears, Tide, and I have the rare new Cheere HE Powder I got at Sam's)." We have used BOTH powder AND liquid detergents over the past three-quarters of a century, but have used liquid detergents exclusively over the past couple of decades or so. (For the last few years, we have used Biokleen All-Temperature liquid, plus powdered borax as a booster, pretty much to the exclusion of all other detergents but one; we do use Ecover delicate wash -- a liquid -- for some cold-water washes for "hand wash" kinds of fabrics.) Powder, liquid: for "smells," it makes no difference whatsoever. Anybody who tells you differently is no scientist. A simple positing of a hypothesis and testing of the hypothesis under controlled conditions will prove that there is no difference between classes. (Possibly, there could be some differences between specific products, but those differences do not carry over to generalizations between classes.) "I also use a tremendous amount of fabric softner." I confess, I never have seen any rational justification for waxing my laundry. We never have had any "softener" in the house, except for the promotional samples that occasionally come uninvited into our mailbox and are thrown into the garbage the same day. Fabric softeners are a solution looking for a problem that we never have encountered. "Warm washes and a couple of hot washes a month. NO COLD WATER WASHES." Some items to be laundered will not tolerate hot, or even warm, water. We let the laundry's tolerances dictate what temperature water we use in a wash, so we do run a fair number of cold water washes -- so? Well over 90 percent of our loads are washed in warm and rinsed in cold. The last decade or so, when we have volunteered for weekly duty in a program to feed the homeless, we have washed the clean-up towels and tablecloths in hot water (with bleach), but that is a rather recent development relative to our long-standing use of front-loading washing machines. "I leave the door ajar and the dispenseer drawwer pulled out between loads. I may not do a load for a week or more sometimes. I've also never checked the gasket either." We have never closed the washer door to "click" (full sealed) between washes. But we never have left the door fully open between washes, either. We clean the gasket after we have run a load of the blankets/towels that our dog sleeps on, in order to get the dog hair out of the seal, but otherwise the gasket takes care of itself. The gasket need not be cleaned for smell purposes. "I suspect liquids are a horrible culprit of mold and residue." Your suspicions are founded on urban legend, which is not supported by the factual record.

The speed queen sure is ugly. Does it work better than it looks? Talk about a low tech control panel! Can't find the asko, but it doesn't come out til January. I think we are all better off putting our money towards relocating the plumbing and venting so we can buy what we want. Even then, the decision is difficult - LG, Bosch, etc. The dryer vent is the most difficult to move - there is a dryer vent box which can help. Look it up at dryerbox.com I found it off another thread at gardenweb. Hope it is the right web site, but google dryer box if it isn't. It saves the space behind the dryer where the connection can sometimes take up 4 inches or more and makes the dryer stick out from the wall. Maybe everyone already knows about this already? Good luck everyone.

johnliu - Point well taken! We have no plans to try to one up the Duggers, so unless we have a big, happy accident, this will be the last one year old under our watch. :) geokid - thanks so much for working on that plan (I need to get going with that ikea software) for me! It's a cool idea, but I think the two doors would look odd from the DR side. The kids would love it when they do their laps around the floor! ideagirl2 - I like your idea about the L-shaped banquette, but I don't think the wall is long enough (based on the dimensions that I've seen online). Also, unless we trap one side, it will take up the same amount of floor space to let people in from both sides. cheri127 - thank you for posting those pictures! I have to admit... I love how your kitchen looks opened up! Wow - that's a really eye opener for me. I'm a huge mission fan so your kitchen is right up my alley. I guess looking at a gorgeous kitchen isn't the worst thing in the world. One thing - it looks like your kitchen seating and your dining room table are run in perpendicular directions. Ours would run parallel and I feel like it would look weird with two tables, literally, sitting a few feet from each other. Do you think that would be an issue for you if your DR table was oriented parallel to the kitchen table? kaismom - that's definitely food for thought about the house flow. I don't necessarily think that flow is an issue, but we do have issues with our entry points (front door and door from garage into den) - you just walk right into the room - no vestibule or mud room. It makes me nuts because everyone (me included) just drops all their crap on the floor and the couch and eventually (hopefully) it migrates to a closet (which isn't super helpful for bags, etc). Unfortunately, I don't know how to rectify that without making wholesale changes to the house and I'm not sure we're ready to go there. I did a quick layout of the two main levels (ground level - garage, den, powder room and 1st floor - living room, kitchen, and dining room). Both of these floors each have two entry points from the outside. Ok, peninsula people! I did another layout the replace the banquette with a peninsula and uses one bench as the seating for the kids, but (I think) allows room for another stool. Thoughts?