i said goodbye to samson today
things have been so unsure over the last 10 days and i was hoping to be able to come here and say that samson was fighting DCM (dilated cardiomiopathy), not looking at imminent death. this was a total shock for me, coming out of nowhere. a 3.5 year old dog, healthy and vibrant one day and 2 days later, on the brink of death.
on monday i took him to my vet. xrays and ekg were grim although his blood work was perfect. by yesterday, he was struggling to breathe. today we went back to the vet for a cardiac ultrasound given by a vet who comes up from st. louis. when she placed the probe on samson's heart, she gasped and said she was surprised he was even alive.
after much discussion with both vets, we all came to the conclusion that it would be best to lay him to rest as he only had days to live. i did not want to prolong any suffering so with his head in my lap and my arms wrapped around him, i cried as he peacefully slipped away.
samson was a rescue and was in a sorry state when he came to me last november. i miss him so so so much, he took "goofy" to a whole new level, such a happy boy and so cuddly. rest in peace, my sweet boy. some day, i will see you again. i love you so so much!
Comments (37)
Related Discussions
Help... just for help. The man I love got married today
Comments (9)Thank you all for your responses. There is not much I can say for myself, other than I am truly sorry. Sylvia... yes I am devastated... I'm human. I've been in love very few times in my life. I feel stupid to admit this is one... My nights are sleepless and that's when I stay up conflicted about this situation. But be assured my days are spent struggling through the loss of my career opportunity. I play over my evals again and again in my head, but it is easier for me to deal with because it is black and white why I failed. I had a 90% avg going into those final days, but the program is set up to put the pressure on, and I choked. My field is one in which I can still find work but will likely have to resort to contract work and the process is painstakingly slow, but I have always been able to take care of myself, and job wise it's easy for me to sit and make a plan to dig myself out of a hole. Unfortunately when it comes to matters of the heart, it's much more difficult for me. I'm just... sad. Yes Popi I did think with my heart. It's very rare that I let people in, but when I do, I certainly have made mistakes and gotten hurt. (Though this is the only time I've ever fell for someone who was not single) Thank you for the advice. Sylvia the drug reference is good... you are certainly on to something, but I suppose for me it was that I'm a hopeless romantic... I kept picturing Swing Time scenarios... a fine romance indeed. I can't tell you why he pursued me, why I gave in, I can't tell you what it was that made it happen between him and me, I can only admit that it did happen, and that I'm guilty, shameful, and embarrassed. Not an excuse... there is no excuse, and please understand that I do know that... and that I truly am sorry. That's most likely why I feel like I'm struggling the most. That's why I asked, can one be sorry without regret? Meaning I am sorry, but my feelings for him are still there...I want him to be happy. I will always have questions as to why, what if, is he truly happy, etc. But I have blocked him since that last email and now that the wedding day has come and gone, my resolve is solidified. I know time is the only thing that will heal, but I have to say writing it all out the other night helped. And your responses... I needed it. Scarlett I can pretty much guarantee that lesson was learned....See MoreSad day - must say goodbye to my best girl today :(
Comments (23)Thank you again so much. I cried long and hard this morning after everyone else left for school and work. The house is dreadfully quiet. Last night I woke up at 4:30 a.m. because I'm so used to having to get Casey up to go to the bathroom at around that time. It will be a while before I can sleep through the night again, I'm sure. Annz, what you said has helped me immeasurably to know I did the right thing. I was really thrown for a loop when the vet began discussing treating her and I've been plagued with guilt that I didn't think harder about giving it a try. I must have known in my heart that she was too far gone and that it was inevitable that the end was near either way. But hearing your words comforted me so much. My sister (the only other person I know personally who is as much a bonafide animal-crazy person as I am) told me essentially the same thing. She owns a pet-sitting business and they have had anywhere from 4-7 pets of their own (they, too, have had to put a couple of their pets to sleep during the past couple of years). She told me that renal failure is extremely serious and that Casey was so fortunate to have lasted as long as she did. It helps assure me that I did what was best for my girl. You're all right, though -- it really does just hurt like crazy. It almost takes my breath away at times. I'm grateful that I've been able to spill my heart out here, as I really have no one else who quite understands my grief, other than my sweet sister. In an odd way, I feel like the experience is giving me something, though. I hope this doesn't sound strange, but I've been grappling with feelings of guilt for all the things I didn't do for Casey (should have cleaned her ears and teeth more often, should have gotten her groomed more often, should have taken better care of her, should have walked her more, etc.) I suppose it's all a part of the grief, but it's pointed out to me not to take others for granted. There are a lot of things in my family life and even with friends, etc. that I realize I've been taking for granted, being "too busy" is really the excuse. I'm oddly comforted by the notion that I have the opportunity to stop taking these relationships for granted and really show them how much I care. I don't want to have "regrets" where anyone else is concerned. I don't mean any of this to sound strange. I know Casey had a good life and she absolutely knew she was loved. I just feel like maybe her legacy is to remind me how much I love not only her, but so many others in my life. I'll get through this one day at a time....See MoreSydneys .c.lass song and I said I wouldn't cry????
Comments (14)I downed a bottle of wine and cried all one day during the summer before my DS graduated. THOUGHT I had gotten it out of my system, but no! LOL I agree with Toni - it's not just your child, it's seeing all the other kids, too, that are like your own. You've watched them grow up, know their stories, they've spent time at your house, etc. At the end of my DS's graduation there was a standing ovation and it went on and on. The longer it went, the more I bawled. (Which is kind of ironic, because he was not a good student and was thrilled to be getting out of school.) He was just 17 and had not a clue as to what he wanted to do and I was just scared to death for him. Now, DD? That was a different situation. She was a great student, always did homework, no doubt that she would graduate, etc. I was very proud of her and shed a few tears, but knew she was going to move out and go to college, etc. We had had so many wars in the last couple of years before she graduated that I was just plain tired! Trust me, GrinchGut, from what I know from you on the KT - you better hope they put the levees up! LOL ((Stacy))...See MoreI guess this is goodbye ... sniff ... :'(
Comments (26)Yes MamaGoose that is a wonderful thought provoking image. You and LL have been rung through the mill. I also had a few issues with medications for Joe. This is when I started to keep a detailed journal. Some thing that could not just be heard from me but written so the doctors and nurses would see I was keeping details and when he was told to take this or that med is showed up in his food journal as barfing his guts out. Stop the meds he was better. And even though these meds were supposed to keep him from getting sick they did not work that way. I was also very frustrated on the way they were taking care of him in the hospital. His skin was horrible and his toe nails were awful. No one even bothered to look at his feet but me. Interesting the first thing the home health nurse looked at was his feet and she was pleased I had cared for them She said it is common in hospital to neglect the feet. And when they brought him food they did not open the container even after notes taped to the tray and written on his board in the room. I would get there and everything closed up. He could not open the containers so he would go hungry. He was too out of it to ask. I had to spoon feed him for a couple weeks after we got home. Sometimes he fell back to sleep eating half a cup of custard. LBD sounds like a horrible disease. Spiders coming from the ceiling is more than enough to make a person go over the edge. Feeling so bad for your and and Hubby. MG and LL. We did get some sun. We canceled the dentist appointment yesterday AM. too much snow and emergency weather alerts saying stay off the roads. I think we got 5 or 6 inches of snow but at some point in the night there was a bit of rain so it laid down an ice slick under the snow. This morning we woke to sun and about 13 degrees. We did breakfast then out to put the snow plow on the ranger. Joe had about half of it done then I went out to help him do the rest. I know he wanted to do it all by himself but it is good for me to refresh my brain on how it goes on and comes off. Then I went off to the post office and Joe plowed the driveway. LOL He even plowed a swath across the back yard for the kitties to travel on their adventures....See More- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
7 years ago- 7 years ago
for you, socks. :)
starting out our trip! these girls are such great travelers. once their initial excitement at going for a car ride subsides, they just lay down and sleep.
stopped at the cheeseburger window around lunchtime and took a quick potty break.
olivia getting acquainted with a friend who stopped over at courtney's house.
i don't have a picture of all 5 danes together, you're right, it's hard to get one because much of the time, a couple were outside, the rest inside, or they were just off in different parts of the house. but, here is my destiny with courtney's zed.
and this is destiny with courtney's buhl. buhl has the same heart condition that samson had. his was caught very early and meds are helping him greatly.
this is destiny with maudie. maudie is an amazing girl! she was part of a big seizure of neglected danes 2 years ago. she came to rescue a year old and under 50#. courtney adopted her and got her healthy and she is so soooo sweet!!! maudie and destiny were pretty much inseparable all weekend. <3
i am hoping to go back for a visit in the fall and stay a couple of extra days. :)
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
samson's urn arrived yesterday and i picked up his cremains today. i have been so sad all day, this makes it too final. miss my silly boy so much.
a friend dubbed samson the "cartoon dog" because of his face and his wonky ears. big ole jowls and his left eye kind of wandered. and he always, always had a big smile on his face. <3
- 7 years ago
it made me sad all over again. bringing cremains home and putting them away is just so final.
on a happier note, i found more pics of my trip. here we are, me with all 5 danes. i was quite the pied piper!
the big mantle boy is the one who has the same heart condition that samson died from. so far, he is doing ok but i do see many of the same symptoms and i don't think he will last much longer than another few months, if that.
- 7 years ago
socks