Has a lot to do with the grind of the meat....finer grind hangs together better.
But unless I am doing the cooking myself and know to be gentle....I mash and smoosh that meat into a good solid patty!
It's all good...unless it falls into the fire!

we smoosh them so the edges are a little thicker than the middles, and when they are done cooking (med, med-rare) it kind of evens out as the meat tightens up. I only have issues with them falling apart if I try the first flip too early. good luck!

Trick might be not flipping too soon?? I also like to make sort of a dimple in the middle. Otherwise, burger sorta blows up into almost a ball and is BEGGING to be smooshed... and there goes all the juices. I like my burgers pretty darn "pink" in the middle and usually end up with a "bloody" bun!?!

The burgers I make are evenly thick. I've never done the dimple trick and they've always cooked perfectly. I should ask dh his flipping technique, but he fell asleep watching the game.

Mine are are kind of cupid's bow shaped but not pointy. I very gently shape between my hands so there's a little compaction on the outside, but the inside is still loose, and then do the thumb dimple.

I do the dimple in the middle, and try to make sure they aren't too thin at the edges,although I haven't tried making the edges bigger. I've tried adding an egg, but I think that just made them wetter & didn't seem to help. I've tried freezing them partially or completely before putting on the grill, that helped, but not much. DH insists on doing the grilling himself, I need to watch him & see what he does. I suspect he plays with them a lot. I believe it is the first flip that does it, I suspect now after what you say that he isn't leaving them on the grill long enough before turning them. We like them pretty well done, although he cooks them til they are dry, dry dry. I'm not allowed to touch the grill :0, but when I cook them in a skillet they are quite good & no problem with crumbling. Frankly, I don't mind, I like the bits, but DH would rather get the preformed patties because of this. He doesn't like the added seasonings, but the boys & I do. Before you get all sorry for him, I do make him his own plain burgers. I also tend to suspect there isn't so much of a problem, but that he prefers the premade burgers. They turn out even tougher & dryer, sometimes they are really like shoe leather, I can hardly chew them. For some reason that is what he seems to prefer.

Not perfect , yet. But close. I've tried many things and have a different blend for an indoor cast iron flat griddle and the grill outdoors.

For the grill i use a bit less fat, (we grind our own fresh). I shape like a Mexican Hat, the sombrero, : ) Shaping quite wide with a thick edge and a moat...a thick inner 'hat'. I pepper heavily with a spice grind blend of pepper, coriander seed, and a smoked pepper flake. Set in fridge uncovered at least 4 hours to dry a bit. No salt yet as it will draw out moisture to the surface. (want moisture to stay inside). Into the freezer 1/2 hour before grilling. A bit of salt and worcestershire in the 'moat' and onto a hot grill. The wide moat keeps the shrinking down similar to a thumb dimple.

I grill long on the first side until a nice crust forms and releases easily...then flip and just a brief rare cooking on the second side...just a minute. Serve crisp grilled side up.

I've had burgers on the grill disappear, lol. Turn around and gone. Might have been the added duck fat season...then the pat of butter inside...too moist, or too much fat. even tried the chopped up slice of bacon in the grind mix.

Griddle inside i go for a thin 'flatty patty'. Season and fridge dry the same. No worcestershire. Just a hot griddle, season side down and flatten immediately firm on the griddle and leave alone till a good sear...flip and serve after 30 sec. i get rare on the second side and nice crust on first side...

I use beef rib and sirloin. (NY shell)...still experimenting with different blends.

Maybe your husband's grill isn't hot enough? The burgers need a good sear prior to the first flip. Sometimes I make my own mix (1/2 the cheap stuff for flavor, 1/2 the ultra lean, mix in salt & pepper and as much water as it will take, the pat of butter in the middle) Form into thick patties. They never bust up on the grill and even well done, are juicy! Sometimes I buy the ones the butcher makes. They don't fall apart either.

Thanks for all the hints everyone, I'm putting them all together & try the next time we do burgers. I'll have DH check the grill temp, come to think of it, he tends to do the steaks on lower heat, maybe he is doing the same for burgers.