We have had an annual party for our three kids' classes and teams every June since preK. We now have 7th, 8th and 10th graders. Our parties are very big; about 100. We invite parents and siblings, etc. We do have a fair amount of acreage, and a pond in addition to the pool so we can accommodate a lot of high energy kids.

A few tips:

1. Use evite to keep track of everyone

2. We hire 2 lifeguards, you may not feel that you need any, but i mention it anyway

3.Music - we hire a DJ; best if you can find a kid to do it. Even so, def have music (clean music)

4. Parents - The older kids get, the less kids want parents and siblings around and often, the happier parents are to drop them and run off for some peace, LOL. We find a good many still stay at our party because they have been here over the years, but it probably peaked in early middle school. One thing that works nicely is to just invite parents for dessert and drinks at pick up

5 We have a ton of beachballs of all sizes. We also get a giant 6' volleyball that is their fave. Alas it only lasts for one party before some &I%^&$@!^ sits on it. Every. year. Try beachballs.com

6. This year we had Chinese lanterns (the kids signed them first) and sparklers (the party goes 4pm till dusk). Amazon has the lanterns.

7. We do what we call a "flatbread bar"; essentially a wide variety of pizzas. We used to do burgers and dogs and just have that for vegetarians, but everyone suddenly became "vegetarian". For our size crowd we have cooking and cleaning help.

8. Lots of fresh fruit, crudites with ranch dip (you can buy little paper condiment cups). Lots of snack bags from Costco.

9. We serve bottled water -- if you do, get the small ones. So many half drunk ones left around!

10, Have a rain date or rent a tent.

11. I would call them tropical smoothies. I had a nephew who I clearly recall made a big show of being an expert at making pina coladas in his mid teens. I thought little of it at the time. I let my kids taste my drinks whenever they ask. The nephew grew up to be an alcoholic, and I now realize that he was making real pina coladas with friends. This is NOT the same story you are talking about at all, but it does give me pause now.

12. Eta we also set up a ping pong table.

PS my experience is that you dont want to plan activities for kids of that age; just give them a lot of choices and they will gravitate

ETA again! People usually want to bring something. I say have them bring dessert and do a dessert table.

We are just getting into these "get togethers" with our 13/14 YOs. MtnRd covered it and I'd second the #11. Unless its a thing where you are, there's no need to reference adult beverages and they will enjoy them no matter what they are called. And ditto on the PS -- the kids will figure something out.

I used to run a camp and a mixed gender party is hard to get the kids to mingle. And yes, it is odd, because some of these kids are life long friends and have no problem mixing one on one. But with peers around, they feel the boyfriend/girlfriend pressure and that is really sad. When we did dances, we did group dances so that everyone could participate. Of course we had college age counselors who broke the ice by dancing with all kinds of kids and each other, keeping it all friendly and non-sexualized, which is important. So yes screen the music is something I would say. Plenty of fun music to chose from. Kids love to DJ so making that an option would be great. Do your kids have pool games that they play regularly? Maybe good to prep them on their role as hosts to initiate games. Have a gregarious older teen or one of the crowd who doesn't mind initiating activities. Give them some game ideas and let them run with it. Teens want to do stuff on their own but often lack the experience to pull it off, so it's always an odd mix of "Leave us alone, no wait, help!" You just have to listen to it and give them a lot of space, but also easily join in. So set up a lot of lawn game and pool game tools, maybe start a game or two and hopefully they will catch on. Like I said, it is a fine line and difficult to walk, between helping and yet giving them autonomy. Nothing worse than a bunch of sullen teens segregated by gender staring at each other from across the room. They love it when someone is brave enough to be goofy and mix it up, but it has to be the right person. A parent, probably not . . .

I once threw a cross country skiing party for some teen volunteers your age at the nature center where I worked. I provided them with skis and was teaching them skiing and they were complaining and falling down and shrieking and I really felt like I was failing and I kept instructing and instructing, trying to help them get the hang of it. when one kid just turned to me and said, "We like this, we ARE having fun." And then I realized that it was fun to fall down and have your friend have to rescue you. So once they "got" that is was OK to be their own goofy selves I just stepped out of the picture and let them go at it. Was quite fun and funny actually in the end. Hopefully your party will end up the same way.

My 14 year old granddaughter says that her friends like playing "heads up" and charades (apps on their smart phones or iPads "not the old fashioned way"). She says everyone plays and laughs a lot.

speaking of phones, expect to see kids using them (including the cameras=snapchat!!) unless you collect them.

yes, to calling the drink a tropical smoothie.

Have fun!

I love the idea of using your projector for music videos-- or even pull length movies. When my nieces and nephews were in the 8-14yo range, I used to do movie nights. I had a blow-up screen (link below) that was simple to assemble. Parents and kids alike loved those evenings and the quality of the images were great. We did some retro movies as well as current ones. If you go this route, you'd want to do evening as the screen won't be visible until sundown.

We did two themed nights which had 30+ people -- one for Hairspray and one for Grease. Both were "dress up" nights and for Grease, I served burgers, dogs, fries and onion rings in the plastic baskets reminiscent of a 50s diner and/or drive in movies. They also loved the ice cream soda station.

I think around 14, kids start getting a little "too cool" for planned games, dress ups or themes but I think it's good to have opportunities for interaction. Mtn's flat bread bar sounds like a great ice breaker. Beach balls, volleyball, ping pong all encourage them to get something going on their own.

I've had two blowup screens. Here's one at target at a much better price than I paid for mine. I used a projector that would run DVDs but you can also use a regular projector hooked to a laptop. Auxillary speakers might be necessary depending on your setup. I didn't need them for mine.

I'd personally skip the virgin drink. If you're going have them I like the idea of calling them something else.

My neighbor's daughter had a party at that age, also a pool party, and they had a karaoke machine. The girls had a great time with it.

My DD went to a small middle school and every year on the last day of school. a family (the same one every year) hosted a pool party in their amazing back yard. The whole class was invited, but the whole class was only 33 kids. The hosts kept the menu very simple -- they provided pizzas and soft drinks. They asked each guest to bring one item like a salad or chips or water bottles. (We signed up ahead of time so they didn't end up with 20 pasta salads.) I think they had a "make your own sundae" bar. They had hired help -- a woman who helped with keeping the food organized and neat, and a lifeguard. A handful of parents usually stayed for at least part of the time, but just to chat with each other, not to watch the kids. I don't recall any organized games but I know the kids organized their own pool games. In this group, the boys and girls definitely mingled together, but I think their relationships may have been unique due to the size of their school.

My DD played a game at a sleepover the other night that involved tossing a water bottle (like a Poland Spring bottle) in an attempt to have it land on its bottom without falling -- sounds inane but they loved it, and played it again the next day. Literally all you need is a water bottle. In this case, it was a group of 6 girls, so with a bigger crowd, you'd probably have to break them down into smaller groups. I didn't watch this whole video, but you get the idea in the first minute or so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29qoahVsmW8

I would serve sodas, water, lemonade.....nothing that sounds like a mixed drink. I agree that the kids seem to organize their own activities. We had music and food ready. Then DH set up the ping pong table in the driveway, placed basketballs by the hoop, dug out a chess set, board games, etc..

I knew I would get some great advice from everyone!

mtn, love love LOVE the idea of the Chinese lanterns and beachballs! I think I will do most of what you suggested LOL! Although, for the amount of kids here, we wouldn't need a lifeguard. Ours is a sports pool, so not deep. And, I definitely need a rain date-didn't think of that. And, good idea about the tropical smoothies! I saw pics of your yard on the Decorating side-you have the perfect place (and gorgeous, btw) for great parties!

ipink, I bet you know your stuff about teenagers-pretty impressive what you've done. And, I already know of a couple of goofy boys that I think will liven things up!

maddielee, heads up is fun! I know what you mean about the cell phones-yesterday a girl was face-timing my son while she was in a limo full of girls headed to one of the girls' birthday party.

funky, I am really interested in the blow up projector-I think it would work great for our area-thanks for the link! I wasn't sure how to begin! Very cute idea about Hairspray and Grease! Wish we had a ping pong table!

tribbix, we do have a karaoke machine! I forgot about it since we have moved.

sueb, I showed my son the water bottle game-he's going to try it tomorrow!

You all are probably right about the planned games! So glad I asked you! I will just entertain the parents who want to stay-I won't invite them, another good idea. My son went to an end of the year pool party a couple of weeks ago and he said it was so fun-probably because I didn't go!

Off to look up the Chinese lanterns!

Thx OlliesMom. One last thing I thought of. This is really a must for all parties, and esp large ones.

We had one regrettable party 10 yrs ago where we ran out of food (an adult sit down dinner)! Never again. So frankly we now tend to overbuy. But I hate to waste it. What I did was talk with a local shelter about the kinds of things they need and accept. Now I just always buy plenty, and plan a trip there the next day. It is a win-win. I have even done this for other friend's parties. No more wasted food, no more eating the same thing for a week to get rid of it.

I just saw some photos from a friend's party where they had props on sticks-- funky glasses, moustaches, etc. Looks like everyone had fun with them.. at 14, they may still be a little intimidated to do things like dance or karaoke in a mixed crowd (girls only parties have a blast-- but ime it changes when the boys are there!). Something like the photo book (without or without the actual booth) can break down those inhibitions. The one I saw used a backdrop (much like you'd see for a Hollywood event) rather than the actual booths. I know you can rent booths too.

Yes, the 'photo booth' I was talking about actually just uses a backdrop, not a 'booth'. My DD just used a colored sheet with something glitzy around it for one she had for DGD's 16th birthday party. And yes the props kit you can buy has moustaches & glasses on sticks and hats iirc. You may have stuff lying around your house you can use, leftover from Halloween costumes, for example.

I actually did a Valentine's photo booth with my 2nd grade class this last year-they had a blast and their parents loved the pics I sent them! They were a little apprehensive at first-but then were fighting to get dressed up and their picture taken. It was fun!

I will need to have more parties to fit in all these great ideas!

As far as games, google: Minute To Win It.

I don't know if kids still play rock band? Or one of those interactive dance games with a Wii? My kids were a bit older, so at mixed parties those things were always a hit.

FOOD. FOOD. and more FOOD. Pizza is always a hit. I like the frozen smoothies-maybe make a smoothie bar? Anything where they can interact is a good icebreaker. But just know, at that age, they tend to break off into same sex groups, especially if boys outnumber girls.

When they're older, the best thing you can do is hire a teenage garage band. For DD's 17th birthday we did that and she became the coolest kid in school.

I think it's great you want to start this tradition! I did something similar with my kids, and I thought I was lame because I didn't plan too far in advance. And I never consulted Pinterest, the bad mom that I am. But every year my kids and their friends (and their parents) kept participating and appreciated that someone was providing the venue. They won't remember your food or how you decorate, but will remember how you brought them together for fun.

Saying that, 13-year-olds are completely unpredictable and irresponsible when it comes to serving themselves food. Unless you want to police how many slices of pizza or how many sundae toppings they can have, I recommend planning for much more than you think will be eaten, unfortunately. I love this age group, but they haven't learned the "my eyes are bigger than my stomach" mantra.

Regarding what type of food, I would serve a variety of healthy foods presented in a fun way, like fruit kabobs and fun veggie dips, as well as easy-to-serve like pre-ordered deli sandwiches or pizza. Maybe an ice cream sundae bar if you have the means to keep the ice cream cold during serving time.

I would not serve any virgin version of a cocktail. Even among parents you think you know, someone will misinterpret this in a way you did not intend. Water and lemonade are all that I would serve. A craft root beer is as adventurous as I'd get.

Music, a few activity items available, etc., and the kids will create their own entertainment. I love what they can create to keep themselves entertained!

Though you might not need a lifeguard, I would make sure to have a designated adult monitoring the pool at all times. (Maybe I'm stating he obvious) A drowning can happen in only a foot of water, and will more easily go unnoticed in a crowd. The much more likely event, is the dreaded "head vs. pool edge or pool deck" that can happen all to easily when kids get rambunctious (attempting to throw each other in, jumping feet first on to flotation devices, etc.) In my experience, 13/14 year-old boys are at prime risk for these types of injuries. God love 'em! :-)

ITA about the lifeguard. As hosts, you and dh will have a bunch of things you will need to attend to, and your attention will most likely be diverted from the pool at some point. I always feel better knowing that someone I am paying will be there doing that job, even when my attention is temporarily elsewhere. Make sure parents know there will be swimming. At this age you shouldn't have any non-swimmers, but you never know.

As for fun things...we did a "candy bar" at ds's 8th grade grad party. So cute...we got big glass bowls filled with different types of bulk candy, little scoops, rather small clear bags, and colorful ties. The kids loved it. Definitely leave the b-ball up...in our group there are some die-hard b-ballers (both boys & girls) and they will occasionally play knockout together. I love when girls that age play sports w/the boys...so many don't once they hit puberty and it makes me a little sad.