Mtn - you are my hero! I have a daughter turning 12 this year also, and she was wondering what to do with friends to celebrate. This is SO easy and less expensive than most parties I have been roped into hosting (did I say "roped"???). Thanks for sharing!

Love the idea, mtn! I'm sure the girls will think it's cool to have free reign of their spending w/o a mom's 2 cents. ;)

MarinaGal, I know what you mean ... I hate to admit I think I have spent that much on balloons for goodness sakes. And it is so easy. My girls love to put "cards" in their purses. Same thing with hotel room "keys". LOL, I remember those days of wanting the emblems of "grown ups".

Patty, Yeah. I am pretty sure this will involve lots of lipgloss and something of very poor quality from Forever21. Whatevs, as they say.

I keep thinking of things I like about this party. No goody bags (which they are too old for anyway)! And the attending parent can sit in a chair and read? So perfect. And, absolutely you will be seeing some Forever 21 bags, and if I had to wager, Bath and Bodyworks and Claire's.

What a fun idea. It's a nod to how grown up they think they are and yet it's still monitored.

Will you need to set any limits out of respect to other parents? No makeup or any article from a store called something like Justice? Justine? (I walked by one and couldn't believe the trashy stuff for the pre-teen set. Horrifying colors, patterns, overall look. It looked like stuff for very petite hookers.)

I don't have kids (as if that isn't already obvious by my above comments) so I don't know the answer to this: I understand young teen boys often overdose on Axe type products, much to the respiratory distress of the parental driver. Do girls overdo fragrance? Will a carload of 12 yo girls make your eyes water? Are girls more sensible about the amount of fragrance to use? What is the 'it' scent for kids these days? I doubt it's Love's BabySoft, she said revealing her age.

LOL, you are so funny, HHireno.

Thank GOODNESS my girls do not like Justice. They did when they were like, 7. At this point my bigger issue is they want to wear my Burberry raincoat to school ... so the teen fashion/streetwalker phase seems to have passed. But I sure know what you mean! For years we had a rather ... bohemian looking ...Bratz doll that one DD had received as a gift that, as soon as DH saw her carrying it , he suffocated and hurriedly stuffed in the console of our sedan. DD didn't notice, forgot about it and I think it conveyed with the car.

Because it is only four girls, I was able to clear it with the Moms. I told them that they should tell their girls if they have any rules they want them to follow. I also cleared that they were okay with the 5 of them wondering the mall as a pack (with their phones). For our social group, it is kind of borderline to allow this so it's considered a big deal, special occasion thing.

Teens and their scents! An older parent in the neighborhood wised me up to the fact that scents can also be about masking smoking, drinking, and pot. So she said she held the line on scents very early. My sister bought my DS a scented sort of spray cologne deodorant that is very nice and light ... I thought it would not interest him at 14 in the least ,but it is now his signature.

My girls are into Library of Flowers? They have really nice scents and lovely packaging, esp the perfumes. My girls love the cream (it's priced for adults though IMHO).

I tell my kids, no one should smell like anything, good or bad, until you are close enough to hug them.

Here is a link that might be useful: These are very nice for girls

'Love's Baby Soft', lol! Talk about bringing back a memory of teenage scent!!

Mtn, what a great idea! I'm passing this along to my DDIL for my remaining DGD who will hit this age in a couple of years. You all are so right about the Justice stores and thankfully our oldest 2 DGDs didn't get into their clothing.

There is a chain down here called 'Altar'd State' that is Christian-based, however, that has some really cute and more conservative but hip clothing. Not cheap but not Anthropologie-expensive either. Oh and don't forget Charming Charlie's for all the bags & bling!

That is so cute. My DD turns 14 in two days, yikes, and we have yet to find a birthday plan. I refuse to do parties after age 10, but usually we have done something with her 3 besties. Last year we did lunch at a popular restaurant and then I let them each buy a bag of candy at one of those candy stores with the bins of per-pound stuff. We have also done the "afternoon tea" thing at a nice hotel.

My DD isn't really into perfume but she likes the little bottles of scented lotions and hand sanitizers at Bath and Body Works. And my DS, who is 19, hasn't yet grown out of the Axe phase...although I think it's Old Spice now. Ugh. He's so worried about smelling like BO, but I think BO would be preferable!

I'm refusing to acknowledge that I know what Loves Babysoft is.

SueB, I'm going to get you the name of this stuff my sister ( mom to two boys a few yrs older than mine) bought for my son. I actually LIKE it. So does he, so do the girls.

Omg, Sue, my sister spent $27 for deodorant/cologne? For a 14yo? No wonder we all like it.

FYI DS says on days when he is doing sports he supplements it with up scented roll on

Here is a link that might be useful: Well, it is very pleasant/ subtle

Awww...that sounds like so much fun for 12 year olds! Love the idea of $25 Visa Cards. My granddaughter turns 13 in March and her BFF turns 13 a few days later. BFF's mom is taking them to "the mall" as she did last year and they get to "prowl the mall" by themselves for a couple of hours as long as they stay together and have their phones. A "pack of five" sounds like even more fun!

Where/how did you order the customized cards? I would love to get the two girls something like that.

Aren't you glad you don't have to deal with a party :).

Tuesday,
Oh yes! Although we did used to do winter pool parties and I will miss that use for the pool; it is underutilized.

The place I used is called giftcardmall.com but I think Amex and others do it too.

What a great idea! Now, with cell phones it is easier to check in with a parent so i would probably be okay with that big a group on their own in the mall. And you have certainly got a great deal with this party ðÂÂÂ

Maybe tell them they can buy anything they want from Trash R Us but it will be subject to ritual bonfire if it fails the parental seal of approval!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting the cologne. I needed ideas for my son who is turning 17. I have never bought him Axe as I cannot stand the stuff but I also need to work on this kids appearance/grooming. If I say something like son, you need to pluck the hairs between the eyebrows I just get an incredulous look of why would I want to do that? Or if I say you need to do something about the hair above your lip I get the look, hey, that stuff finally came in, why on earth would I want to trim it? He is just now starting to notice girls so all I can do is hope that helps my cause. You have hopefully saved me the trouble (headache, literally) of trying to find something for him in the department store.

KSWL, Problem is, it's all made in China and you know how toxic that bonfire would be!

Tishtoshnm, I hope you/he like it! Yeah, that Axe stuff, actually most of the boy products are really horrid, no? FYI I think you can get this at department stores but even at Target? My sister has bought it for my son twice now so I didn't know, but when I went looking for an image it seems you can get it a lot of places. Gets a lot of good reviews too, as a subtle, clean scent.

Edited to add: My son is kind of fair so he doesn't need any brow maintenance. He does need to shave, only once a week though. It helps that his sisters tell him he looks better that way; do you have any appropriate aged distaff to testify? As for brows, my DH is darker and needs brow work ... his hair guy takes care of his brows ... you may want to investigate that approach?

This post was edited by mtnrdredux on Thu, Jan 29, 15 at 22:34

I love this!!! We are not having parties this year because our $ is going to our new puppy, but next year for sure!!!!

That sounds perfect. Fun for them, and not stressful for you. 12 year olds with credit cards and a girl's lunch! That's a girl after my own heart :-)

(Side note: may have received some Love's Babysoft for my 12th birthday, and spritzed the pages of my angst-filled diary with it. )

My son, who is almost 10, insists on wearing scented deodorant he does not need, so he "smells good". His brand of choice is...Brut. (!)

Well, mtn, for his financial future I am afraid he needs to learn when to outsource jobs and when they should be DIY. He almost has a unibrow and since that will be a constant, it is a good candidate for DIY. DH shaves his. What I need is for him to understand/desire the underlying issues of managing his appearance. He is clean, thank goodness, but it is the finer points he needs schooling in.

Unfortunately, his sister is not much help in that regard. She is one of those souls who is not critical/analytical/discerning. Looking at pictures she thinks her friends look better than the models (not true), etc. That is not a character trait she learned from me.

What a genius idea! My DD just turned 12, but I am totally stealing this for next year! She would LOVE going to the mall & shopping as a party. :)

My 15 year old DS made the switch last year from Axe (gag) to Old Spice!?! I think the whole " Smellcome to Manhood" campaign is pretty effective with this age group. I have no idea when he will switch to some nice, subtle scent...but within the past year I have noticed he has paid A LOT more attention to grooming...

My son is very into his grooming right now. He's 11 and I never really noticed that much that he had a "slight" unibrow (he had noticed)-so a couple of months ago, I took him to my lady who does my eyebrows and upper lip wax. DS has always had a great head of hair, but his body is not hairy (a Native American trait and he has a little in him) in the least. He has some of the Axe, but wears a deodorant from Tommy Bahama just because we have it. I think I will get him the the one Mtn posted above.

Great party idea!

Maybe I'll get my DS some of that Armani spray for Valentines Day! Is that weird? Sending him a care package at school with candy and...oh look, Cologne from my mom!

My DD is getting an iPhone for her bday tomorrow. She is the last 8th grader in town to get one, I think. She has NO idea. She asked last year and then just gave up. I bought her a cute little Betsy Johnson purse from TJ Maxx, and put a gift card in an outside pocket, so she will think the purse and GC are her gift, but the iPhone will be hiding in an inner pocket. I wrapped it in a big shoe box, so she really has no clue. I do enjoy surprising my kids with gifts they don't expect!

Aww, Sue, that'll be great!

I got the girls their iphones at Christmas and put them in shoeboxes, weighted with magazines. When they unwrapped the boxes, they noticed they had each other's size, so they tried to switch boxes ... that was how clueless they were. One of them actually cried when she opened the box and saw a phone.

I don't know why we held out so (comparatively) long. My 6th grader was 2nd to the last and my 7th grader was last by 30 days. This is for the NY Metropolitan area; they have teenage bookies tracking this stuff. YMMV My favorite part is I can text them rather than yell upstairs. Phones are placed in the chargers in our office during homework, meals and at bedtime.

I'd send the cologne (my DS uses the cologne/deodorant so maybe that is more mom-like). There is gonna be a run on it!

Fantastic party idea, Mtn! I may have to borrow that in the next few years. My girls are still young enough to be anti-mall, but I'm sure things are going to change.

Sounds like fun! My sister did a similar thing when her daughter was 13, but added a sort of mall scavenger hunt to the mix... I wish I could remember what it included! I know there was a mix of finding information, purchasing small items (some specific candy comes to mind), and getting an "autograph" from some specific person, etc.... They may have done it in two 3-teen teams. I should ask her! I know it was a hit! I think she provided a modest amount of cash to get them started.

When I was growing up, we typically had "family birthdays," with one "friend party" per childhood. When I was turning 15, I realized that I hadn't yet had a party, so I choose to have a hiking party. My dad took about 8 girls for a day hike (him identifying plants, pointing out specific peaks with the shared binoculars, us tasting things like licorice fern- your basic Pacific Northwest fun!), then back home for hamburgers, with a stop for milkshakes on the way. It was memorable for everyone (it was discussed at our 30 year high school reunion!).

Merry gardener,

Okay, now I am so stealing THAT for next year. That has lots so many possibilities!

The hike sounds so nice, I want that for my birthday! Does your Dad know how fondly it is remembered? Teen girls are such a tough crowd, he deserves kudos for that.

My girls are both winter babies so parties are a bit harder. My son's birthday is right about when school lets out, so we roll that into our end-of-school year "regatta"; we invite all three kids' classes for a party and kayak races on our pond. We have heats, lifeguards, an air horn, prizes by grade, etc. It's one of our favorites.