My best friend has a 4-year-old and a soon-to-be-1-year-old. She and most of the parents of her 4-year-old's friends celebrate birthdays with parties in their homes. They do usually rent a bouncy house or have some other kind of entertainment.

My just-turned-8-year-old nephew recently celebrated his birthday at a major league ballpark. This was a long-awaited event for him, but by the top of the 3rd inning he, along with the other children present, were all whining: "How much longer do we have to stay here?" Seems like so often when a birthday party becomes an extravaganza of sorts, it just overwhelms and exhausts everyone, defeating the purpose entirely.

I think at-home birthday parties are ideal for kids. My 9-year-old niece wanted a backyard cookout for her birthday, so that's exactly what she got. I think it would be the height of ridiculousness for one to "socially frown upon" any kind of celebratory gathering, especially in honor of a child, but the notion that birthdays must take place in a certain venue is silly to me. I think children should be able to find the most meaning and attachment in the home, and IMO that makes it the ideal place to host a gathering.

I think a lot of parents do the away-from-home parties because it's just easier. No clean up, no mess, no set-up, no thinking of stuff to do, etc.

Madeline capelets and hats?

That is the cutest idea! Your DD's party is going to be so much fun!

Ooh I am happy to know others still do at homes! I never thought of the "easier factor" but it makes sense. The capelet idea i got online and to buy they were $15each+shipping, so I made a patern out of a xmas tree skirt and serving plate and with a glue gun hardly any sewing is needed.
Jenn i am sorry about your nephews big day but even if it seemed like they did not appreciate the game later when he remembers it he will only recall the great excitement of going!

AT home parties are wonderful. Our neighbors did a "Fancy Nancy" party for their daughter when she turned six. The girls all loved it-feather boas, deorating their own handbags (made of felt), tiaras, etc. Complete with a fashion show and photo by dad for each girl to keep.

Have fun. It will be wonderful!

I think at home parties are such a treat, in the rare case we attend one.

The parties done at fun activity centers, bowling alleys, skate, etc. are just so much easier! You get to actually visit and let the hostess get the kids together and clean up instead of you. More expensive though, but worth it to me.

I always have good intentions to have one at home, but always cave within two weeks of the birthday!

We have done parties in the community as well as at home. It just depended on the age of the child and what they wanted for their party. My kids generally PREFER to have a party at home and the kids that come seem to love it. I'm glad they want to be home and am usually happy to ablige, but having one at the park, at the swimming pool, or bowling alley is pretty darn convenient.

I have a 25 yr old DD and 10 (soon to be 11) yr old DS. Have had every birthday party out somewhere, except for 1 for DD when she was a teenager. She wanted a sleepover, so we did that, but they were old enough that I didn't need to make up activities. They were happy to do their nails and watch movies.

Would never think an at-home party is not acceptable. In fact, quite the opposite. I would think the mom (or dad) is way cooler and more creative and has more energy than I do. I just like the ease of showing up, partying, and leaving and not having to do any setup or cleanup.

DS's 11th birthday is early November. Haven't even talked about what we are going to do. I would really like to stop the big parties already. It just costs so much money. Hoping I can convince him to do something with just a couple of friends instead of a big party. Haven't been successful with this sugestion in the past, but maybe this year.

Growng up we always did family gatherings for b-days and somtimes I'd have a friend or two over for the day or a sleepover. I don't recall it actually being on the day of the family thing though.

I'm assuming sometimes it's easier for parents to throw the party elsewhere or the kid would really enjoy it. I honestly don't know how I'd feel about having a large number of kids at my house for a party.

Anyone that felt it was inappropriate to have a party at the house vs. a venue needs an attitude adjustment. I know some people may spend the same amount or more having the party at home but it "could be" the cheaper altnerative and maybe the parents don't have the funds.

When kids are 3-7 year old you are kind of expected to invite the whole class so that none of the kids feel left out. If you have to invite 15-20 kids (depending on class size) then it is much easier to do it outside the house. Kids that age would normaly come with a parents and most likely at least one siblings.

Once they turn 8 the parties tend to narrow down to all boys or girls. At around 10 and above they just want their closer friends.

Over the years I did a mix of parties at home and at venues. At home we had a large playroom and yard and invited parents & siblings to join. Between paying for "entertainment" and food for all it was probably more expensive doing it at home!!

Thank you for the support... I like planning the at home parties and so far my daughter prefers to have them home. I keep it to her female friends to keep numbers down a bit.
Jillinnj, my partents, who have three children initiated a rule when we were young that we had big parties only every other year and in the alternate years we invited a friend to an activity like visiting the Empire States building or going to a yankees' game. The bdays I remember most of all were not the parties but the ones spent with just one close friend. I will be starting this tradition with my daughter after this year too.

That would be a great tradition to continue! We are getting to the age where we don't intend to invite a lot of boys, but, to be honest, we HAVE to invite a couple of boys, because their parent's are such good friends of mine, and the boys see each other at school, sports and through entertaining with them. Unfortunately, I have to keep that in mind at all times.

My DS, 8 years old, just went to a party this last weekend, at a very nice hotel in town, with an indoor pool. This is the 3rd one so far this year at the hotel. The mom's have only invited 3-5 boys. This last one, they swam, decorated pumkins (with stickers, etc) and watched a movie before bed. They all went down for buffet breakfast the next morning. They had a blast!

OOh what a great idea I still get excited to stay in hotels and I am "old". We just went to england and mostly stayed with family...my hubby is english, but for two nights we stayed at a hotel and my DD lit up on the walk to the room and exclaimed, "I just love hotels"! I think a hotel sleep over is a brilliant idea! I will have to file that away for when my dd is a bit older:)

You know, I'm glad my kids were born in the '80's. We NEVER had to do the whole class parties, rent event centers or bounce houses, etc. Kids picked a handful of friends, we had cake & ice cream, played a few games and in less than 2 hours the whole thing was done. I think one year we took DS and a group of friends to Chuck E Cheese, and DD2 to the roller rink, but that was definitely not the norm for kids parties in our area.

The biggest party we ever had was eldest DD's 17th, where she was allowed to have a band and we brought in 6 foot sandwiches and let the teens take over the back yard (with surreptitious supervision). She was the coolest kid in HS that year!

When did this change I wonder? Occasionally I see bounce houses in the neighborhood, so I know it's becoming more common. I remember when there would be a community event and they'd have a bounce house, so it made the occasion more special, now they seem ubiquitous. I feel kind of sad!

And who started the tradition of goody bags that resemble Christmas stockings? When DID this start? Who gave the first goody bag? What happened to leaving with a balloon!

We starting attending parties in 2001 and they were present then. It is a snowball effect ... you go to a few over the top parties and they then seem to set the bar for what other Mom's have to do. Deciding what to put in the goody bags kept me awake at night! LOL

I do at-home parties and prefer them. My kids are still young and I think at home parties can be a good way for parents to get a feel for whether or not they'd trust you to host a play date or vice versa. That being said I know lots of parents that do 'away' parties so they don't have to deal with the major effort of prep and clean up. Plus sometimes they need to invite a lot of people and feel like at home is too cramped.

My own DD is almost 21. We celebrated that birthday while she was home on break from school, and we did it at home. All but 1 of DD's childhood parties were held in our home. Yep, I did try to be creative, and did alot of planning with regard to the parties that ran the gamut from American Doll tea party to the teen sleepover. Tried my best to keep it age appropriate taking into consideration that many times one of DD's guests would bring along a sibling or two when the girls were really young. Also, I always planned a "craft" for the guests in attendance. Really needed to include something for the girls to do and some type of take home to avoid the dreaded party bags. Only once did I plan a party out of the home. We took 8 girls to a ceramics studio to do a small piece which was then fired and delivered by me to the girls' homes a week or so later. That party was more of a PIA than any party I planned and hosted in our home. That said, I was a SAHM, so I think I had alot more time to be creative with an at home birthday party.

roarah - I think your party is going to be great! Love the Madeline/caplet idea and your planning brings back memories of the many fun home parties I organized for my own DD.

auntjen - I think maybe your nephew and his friends may have enjoyed a minor league game more. The local teams and stadiums that host those games really focus every single game on the kids in attendance. Between innings the kids are brought down onto the field for games, there are also other types of entertainment during the game directed at the kids. I get the "how much longer?" feelings of the kids that age. Heck, I sometimes feel that way, especially at an extra innings game!

I will say that most of the birthday parties DD attended as a child were held off site. Those parties were fun, but I think came about out of one call planning, and no cleanup for the parents. Most times both parents worked, so planning a child's birthday party may not be something they want to add to their long weekend to-do list. I always enjoyed the planning of the parties, but I think I am probably in the minority given the number of parties DD attended in "places". You think it is bad now, roarah, wait until you get to the "Sweet 16" fiasco. Boy, that was a tough year... There was no way I was getting into throwing the equivilent of a small wedding party for a 16th birthday. Seemed that each parent tried to out-do the party of the girl whose party their DD attended prior.

Hope the girls have a great time!

I do at-home parties and prefer them. My kids are still young and I think at home parties can be a good way for parents to get a feel for whether or not they'd trust you to host a play date or vice versa. That being said I know lots of parents that do 'away' parties so they don't have to deal with the major effort of prep and clean up. Plus sometimes they need to invite a lot of people and feel like at home is too cramped.

Sorry about the weird double post!

Hi I just wanted to thank everyone for their support about having an at home party! My DD loved it and has thanked me many times since:) It went well I had lots of crafts and games plus a pony too. I will not post pony pics cause alot of the children are exposed in the pony shots and I worry about privacy. I have only one pic where the girls faces are not seen posted to show how cute the capes were on the girls. We had 14 guests so it was a bit crazy but they all had a blast! Thanks again for the encouragement and I think next year maybe a gym is a good idea too.
here are some pics.

roarah, this is wonderful! What a lucky little girl your daughter is.

Oh that is so cute! You did a great job.

I will have to file this idea away for my 4 yo niece. I will look brilliant and clever but I will admit the idea came from one of my imaginary friends.

Sounds like a great party!

I think the key is to do what YOU want (and it sounds like you did). I notice that people (esp. with their first child) tend to follow trends for parties/think there are rules . . .nope. There are not. It's about what your family likes, your budget, your time, your child's personality, etc.

Roarah-
That is fantastic. Your daughter is one very lucky little little girl! I'm sure all of the girls who attended feel the same way. Great Job!

I still do home parties for my daughters. I'm planning DD2's birthday at home, and inviting the girls from her kindergarten class. It will be a Fancy Nancy Tea party, and thanks to the suggestions of a previous poster, I know exactly what to do!