Realtor upset my sweet aunt
8 years ago
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My sweet Molly is missing and I'm heartsick...
Comments (76)Interesting thought, fly! I spent a good deal of time on the website linked below - but this woman isn't a pet psychic, I get the feeling she's more of a hand-holder. I wonder if she would give any better advice than what I've received from you all here? (I'm doubtful. Still, I'm somewhat intrigued!) In all honesty, I don't know if I could fully put my trust in a psychic. I guess my biggest issue would be that I'd worry I was simply handing over $ to someone who was taking advantage ... I don't know. I really know nothing about such things. I've just returned from yet another neighborhood scouting mission, and just about gave my stupid self frostbite in the process. DH is certain that Molly is not going to venture out any, if at all, in this cold. But I do see numerous cat prints in the snow, and somebody is coming back repeatedly to eat from the dish on the front porch. Could just be that big tom though ... ::sigh:: Here is a link that might be useful: Cat Profiler...See MoreHelp my marriage is falling apart!
Comments (6)Thank you all for your posts.I'll try to answer all your questions. "if this were your biological son who abused your step daughter, how would you handle the situation??" I would do everything in my power to help him and make any sacrifices that were required of me. But the problem is that my husband is not willing to ignore the rest of his children and focus on helping him.He has alot of anger towards him because of what he did to his other siblings.He doesn't feel comfortable showing the girls affection because he doesn't want them to think he is trying to be sexual...One of the twin boys has also been really affected by the abuse and is really confused as to his "sexuality" he seems to thik he has to act feminine because of it.To top it off,my husband has never had a close relationship with the oldest at all.When his wife left and he was alone raising the 4 children he took on his moms role and was very abusive toeards everyone,including my husband.He blames his xwife and his mother for making him the monster he has become and he just doesn't want to spend the rest of his life dealing with his mental illness.HIs x wife left him because she couldn't she deal with him anymore.although he is too young to be diagnosed,i honestly believe that he is a manic deppressive like his mother.I can only imagine what he will be like a few years from now if he indeed is-because he has so many other issues along with that.The fact that the 2 women who raised him were both selfish,controlling,deceitful,cunning and verbally abusive doesn't do much for his personality either because this is exactly what he is like.I feel for him, i truly do..but i don't want to spend my life trying to undo such horrible parenting.I never would have gotten married had i known that i would have to neglect my own children to help fix this child in the first place.The fact that he also abused my daughter adds the fact that my daughter would probably resent me for the rest of my life for having put her abuser's needs ahead of hers and i don't think anyone would be willing to do that. "Don't you think he deserves a chance to heal and become the best he can be? Why throw the baby out with the bath water? His behavior is a loud cry for help. Someone needs to answer the call." I agree someone does need to answer that call,the problem is that the only person who is willing to take him in and raise him is the grandmother-who thinks he is just misunderstood and spoils him to death.She basically excuzes all his bad behaviors and tries to justify his cruelty to others by saying that he can't help it because of the way his mom raised him.So he is never held accountable-and he plays right into it and pulls on her heart strings every time he is in trouble so that she can bail him out.This little boy lies,steals,beats other kids up,runs out of the classroom in school,yells at the teachers,refuses to bath with soap,thros dirty toilet paper on the floor,breaks whatever he gets a hold of when he is angry,has full blown tantrums that last for hours,is direspectful to adults in general and cruel to animals and she says its normal because he is becoming a teenager...My husband can't stand his mother because of it so it makes co-parenting virtually impossible because she will ignore my husband and do whatever she wants with him.I know that she is not what he needs-but what am i suppose to do?Put everyone elses's needs on the backburner to try and make him the best he can be? Its not fair to the other kids-especially his that have had to live in his shadow all of their lives.Besides i am dealing with alot of guilt since i was spending so much time trying to "help" him,exhausted and streched to my limit-i wasn't emotionally available to the rest of the children when he was abusing them.Maybe if i hadn't been so tied up deling with him all day my daughter would have come to me sooner...or i would have picked up on signs that it was going on.Because thinking back,there were many signs-i was just too drained to put them all together. if you abandon the marriage now, no one will heal from the harm that has been done. I agree with that statement totally,I love my husband and my stepkids but i have stayed in this relationship mostly because i want these children to have some closure from the harm that has been done.I don't think i could live with myself knowing that i just ran away from this situation not to have to "deal" with it.Its important for all of us to get through this,it will teach them a valuable lesson in life.We shouldn't "run away" from things,we should confront them and find a way to overcome them... Are there other relatives around who will take on the responsibility of the SS ? Unfortunetely the only relative availableand willing is the grandmother. My husband would not be willing to move out and stay with him,he has a hard time going to the visits to see him and when he does he usually comes home feeling all mixed up.He says he has conflicted feelings,he loves him because he is his son,but he acts so much like his xwife and his mother-who he can't stand to even speak of,that he feels as if he is just just like them..I think they call it "transference" in other words he sees him and he sees "controlling,abusive,crazy mother and x wife" whom he chose to get out of his life when he realized that their toxic behaviors were making him "physically ill".This is his son-and he is just as toxic as they are.I think he struggles with the fact that he is so much like the two women who have caused im so much pain and misery in his life and nomatter what he does he is destined to have to deal with his toxic son for the rest of his life.Its just all really complicated...Right now i am just focusing on the kids i am raising and helping them heal from the trauma they suffered. There is no way i could focus on his oldest and remain sane.Its just too overwhelming....See MoreI am very upset. I need some kitchen friends
Comments (150)boxerpups - such a sad situation for that young girl - and surely her sister too. it does sound like she is acting out and I do agree that you should contact the teacher. maybe someone can intervene with her. life is tuff enough for young people today and that girl has more than any one young person should have working against her. i don't think i'd go the court route (don't think you will either). in the end it could cause more trouble for your dd and your family than it's worth. i'm not saying the young girl isn't worth it or that we don't have the right to be upset when someone damages our property. but in the end, a fridge is a fridge and hopefully will be fixed w/o much expense. OTOH, I do think the young girl needs confronted about it. for her good! and i think it is something you could handle. holding someone to account is not mean, it is the more loving thing to do for them. short term upset for long term gain. it might not show in her in the near future, but it will be going around in her head that someone was more concerned about her future than a material thing. it sounds like she has been raised to think that things are more important than she is. until you decide how to fix the fridge door, i think i'd use it as a prayer reminder for that young girl. and a thank you for the blessings you and your family have in each other. and as for getting a new puppy after the loss of another very loved furbaby, my belief is that the best way to honor my precious gone to heaven furbaby is to find another furbaby in need of a loving home and lots of spoiling! i think that makes them very happy!...See MoreRealtors are driving me NUTS!!!
Comments (33)Jtorel wrote: "ncrealestateguy wrote - "my sellers are advised that if anyone knocks on their door or calls them, that they are to let the inquirerers know that they are being represented by an agent and to give them my business card. " Just to understand your point of view, you are expecting to collect both the listing commission and the buyers agent commission, even though you never personally had contact with these buyers prior to them visiting the house/owner? I assume then, you intend to enter dual- agency agreements with both parties? Meaning that neither side will really have an agent obligated to protect solely their interests? I don't doubt your skills, or your integrity, but doesn't that place you in a difficult, and ultimately perilous position viz-a-vis a seller or buyer who later feels you were not committed to his or her best interests?" Jtorel, The buyers are at the home because of my marketing of the property, so, yes, I would feel comfortable collecting both sides of the commission. However, after my first two dual agent deals that I completed years ago, I realized that it makes a lot of sellers (especially) and buyers uncomfortable for the reasons you state. So, now I allow my clients the choice if they want exclusive representation or not. If they do, then I refer all buyer leads on my properties out to a friend of mine who is not even in my office. He does the same for me. Win/win for all. Your question is very legit, and hence, why I offer this option. As far as ragtop's comments go: Where did I ever say to sign a BAA with an agent that you do not feel comfortable with? I have never said so. And how on Earth have you summized that I steer buyers to my listings? Have you been speaking with my past clients? Why would I want to waste my time showing homes that do not fit the buyer's criteria. Time is my number one expense. The first thing a good agent learns to do in this business is to weed out the time wasters. You have no idea how many flakes are out there that will waste your time if you let them. It took me over 3 years to truly understand this. We get paid after a deal closes, not when someone piles into my car. Yes, I might make a wrong call every now and then, and miss a deal, but I save thousands of dollars and, more importantly, I save my precious time for those folks who are ready, able and willing buyers. If you can not commit to me 100%, how do you expect me to commit to you the same? All buyers would do themselves a service if they either got a referral from a friend, or called up the BIC and asked him/her to recommend an agent that fits thier needs. Don't come on here complaining because you settled for something less. And don't come rolling into town, which you have had planned for months, call me up, and expect I drop everything on my schedule just to show you a few homes, especially if you do not even know if you are moving to this area. Looking at homes is not going to determine if you eventually move to a particular area. And it is not wise to call the listing agent in order for you to work with. They represent the seller's best interests, not yours. They are fiduciarally responsible to selling thier client's home, not to look out for your best interests. (I realize that some people are savvy enough that this is not a big deal for them, but for 95% of buyers, it not a good situation to be in) BTW Ragtop, I got two calls this week out of the blue from potential buyers that were referred to me by past clients. One of these past clients that referred me was a seller whom I failed to sell thier home! I believe this should be enough to put me back into your first classification of agents....See MoreRelated Professionals
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