He may not have noticed.

He may not know who to thank.

Many years ago my neighbor next door decided to let her lawn grow tall (9 inches). One of our neighbors was unaware of her decision and interpreted the tall grass as her being elderly and unable to mow it. So he scalped it down to 2 inches. What a mess!! She was more disappointed than angry, because the lawn had been looking amazing and now was, well you can imagine taking a lawn down from 9 to 2 inches. Of course it's only grass, but it was her grass.

This resonates with me very much.

My late husband was in the hospital the last year of his life, over an hour away. I had no time to mow (1/2 acre here, too), and hadn't had a chance to schedule a lawn service ... came home one day to find everything mowed and edged. I was so grateful, I nearly cried (emotions were high at that time). But--I had no idea who did it! A few days later, the sweet neighbor who did it was calling me to check on my husband, and said she hoped it was ok that she mowed? She said she didn't mean to intrude, but knew I had no time or energy, and it was her way of helping in our time of need. I was so glad she told me and thanked her profusely. I'm grateful for wonderful neighbors.

So I agree, maybe he doesn't know who did it, and you can let him know you just wanted to help out so he could focus on his dad. You did a very nice thing, he's lucky to have a caring neighbor. And if he does know, but seems put out by it, I wouldn't let it upset me ... dealing with a dying loved one is devastating and exhausting, so we may not always behave as we should, or be thinking straight, during it. You still did a kind deed. :)

Thanks, all. I'm pretty sure he's annoyed. We had an unspoken rule that whomever got to the emptied garbage cans first brought the neighbor's ones in from the curb. Mine was left in the street today, while his were in his yard --- and he was home. I decided to go next door and tell him I had only done his lawn to give him one less thing to worry about ... just as he drove off. There is no doubt whatsoever that he knows I did the deed. There is no other neighbor capable of having done it, and the grass clippings are in front of my house. I decided I'd leave this alone until another chance meeting, and be sure he understands my motives and I understand his reaction. I just hope this doesn't embitter me to doing good deeds ... nowadays, they rarely do go unpunished.

Honestly, I cannot imagine being annoyed by somebody who was trying to help (and didn't cause any damage).

The only thing that I see that you may have unintentionally done wrong is left the grass clippings in front of his home. While I understand why you did it, he may have interpreted the grass in the street as saying "See I cut your grass when you would not"

I would just continue being a good neighbor, and doing things like cutting his grass as a good neighbor would.

"See I cut your grass when you would not"

What krnuttle said made me realize something - he may think you cut the grass because the long grass annoyed you and you thought he was slacking off. He may think you are the one annoyed with him and that you were being passive aggressive towards him. I would make sure he knows your intentions or you both may never talk to each other again because of a simple misunderstanding.

The only thing that I see that you may have unintentionally done wrong is left the grass clippings in front of his home.

Actually what the OP said was that he took the clippings and spread them in front of his own house as to prevent the neighbor from getting a fine and risking a fine himself instead. Doesn't get much more considerate than that.

Now, I realize how angry he must have gotten when I plowed out his 200' driveway every snow storm in the last four years.

If you guys are the type of people who can talk about, then do that and I bet things can be mended. Otherwise, it'll probably blow over in time.

My neighbors don't do diddily squat to their yard. Luckily, their paved driveway separates my yard from theirs. However, there is about 5-7 feet on "my side" of their driveway that they actually own.

After getting sick of seeing 4 foot tall broadleaf weeds and grassy weeds in that spot, I took my weed eater to it. Since then, I've mower it a few times when my mowing my lawn. I may have "accidentally" over sprayed some weed killer and broadcast some pre-emergent (when I was treating my own lawn, of course).

One day, I come home to find them outside, husband and wife, going to town on the at area with garden hoes and shovels. Ripping out thick weeds, tilling the soil, trimming their pathetic shrubs... ... And then, I noticed yesterday there is some grass seed there. I couldn't believe it.

I think they started to get the picture; I was taking care of their stuff and they probably felt guilty. I don't have the heart to tell them that you don't plant grass in Central VA at this time of the year, and that they probably just overturned about a gazillion

I'm sure they completely destroyed the pre-me barrier that I "accidentally" applied; however, it's almost time for another soon anyway. Meanwhile, my KBG is creeping on over there. I'm sure they will think it's the grass seed they planted, and I'm fine with that.

I'm trying to figure out why all this is still bothering me almost three days later. I guess it's because my neighbor could have interpreted my gesture in one of two ways: either as a genuine good deed in light of his personal problems or as an invasion of privacy, and he chose the latter. Now I'm wondering what I may have done to deserve that interpretation. The examples cited above involved women ... but there may be an element of machismo at work here. I know machismo is preventing me from going to him since I feel he should make the next move --- pro or con. The end result of all this stupidity is that we will probably never speak to each other again. PS: I removed all the grass clippings and used them as mulch in some out-of-the-way places

I think it's normal to feel bothered by it ... not knowing if something nice you did was taken wrong. It's always nice to be thanked for something, rather than made to feel like you did something wrong. I don't know the guy, obviously, so if it's not a matter of him just feeling very out if sorts right now (his dad dying), or a misunderstanding, there's not much you can do at this point. I'd still try talking to him first, though, and just saying similar to what my neighbor said to me, "Hey, I'm sorry about your dad, and hope it was ok to try to help out." If his reaction isn't positive, you tried, and going forward, I'd just leave him and his yard alone. Again, I don't know him, but some people just react differently ... at my old street, a neighbor's husband was in the hospital, and we all pitched in to help (her yard, taking food, etc). She responded in a very hostile way, and told us all to leave them alone. Go figure. It is what it is, people can be strange.

People are totally unpredictable & irrational when it comes to failing health of loved ones. Bringing attention to your good deed may make you an easy target for some emotional words, so if it were my neighbor, I would let the mystery stand. Forget you ever did it, pretend like nothing happened when you see him & if he ever asks, simply tell him why you did it. He will probably never ask, you'll both forget in a few weeks & you can go back to being civil neighbors. In other words...don't make it weird.

Or he could just be a little embarrassed that you had to do it because he let it get so long--even with the family problems. I'd tend to cut him a break unless he's a jerk about it, and even then I'd just back off and let him work it out.