If you are keeping the cement, sometimes an option is to stain or etch it to look more natural. It is also possible to lay another hardscape material over cement, but I am not very knowledgable about that. Depending on the layout, you may be able to plant something at the edges of the cement patio which would give a good softening effect. Also if there is actual yard at all, with soil, you might plant a small tree nearby. The point is to ground your cement area and tie it in with other plantings. Containers or large planters is otherwise the way to go. You can plant surprisingly large things--small trees, for example--in large containers--and group them so the cement area looks quite nice. I have Japanese maples, crape myrtles, and other items in large containers on my deck for just the same reason--want to have the area not appear so barren. Think height that way, and also possibly large containers with trellis or tripods or similar for climbing vines. Check out books on deckscaping and container gardening and you will get lots of ideas. Or, maybe the fence is in soil and you can plant something that climbs the fence, or place containers there--roses and vines, depending on sun conditions. It's true you can grow stuff actually in the gravel. And, the thinner the gravel, the more you can leave it there and just incorporate soil + gravel--the drainage is actually great that way. But, if you have a thick layer of gravel and don't like the white look, you may want to just dig up lots and replace with garden soil. Another temporary option, not too expensive, is to place flagstones or even cement pavers in the white gravel to reduce the "whiteness". How that will look may depend on what materials you use and your sense of design. I have been chipping away at a large area of white gravel in my own backyard this way--gradually taking it over. I had to use some sections of 4x4 treated lumber to isolate various areas in order to convert from gravel to soil. So one point there is, you can start with a small area and not have to totally haul off everything at once. In addition to growing stuff in the gravel, you can use containers there. One thing that helps is to think of the right color and shape of container. I find that low shallow bowl-shaped containers look better and more grounded in a gravel base than a lot of tall typical pot-shaped containers. The former can give a more Japanese-garden type of look--you can plant something as simple as a groundcover in the container and it adds green-ness and life to the gravel zone. Similarly, using a lighter color--a gray or beige--can help containers blend into the gravel better than having white gravel plus terra-cotta, for example.

I would use a standard hypertufa mix or use premixed concrete (don’t try to make your own unless you are familiar with the chemistry and points of making a good strong mix). Do not get quick Crete like they use for post holes. That works well because it’s in the ground and rain and water keep it damp as it cures. Remember first, concrete never stops curing. It sets up etc and can be used like driveways after at least a week two weeks better. But even then you keep it covered and misted each day — the longer it stays damp (damp not wet in the beginning) the stronger it will be. But the faster you try to dry and cure it, the more cracks, and more brittle it will be. I see people out there doing DIY walks etc and they got fans going cause they want to use that day or the next — and they wonder why it’s cracked, chipping up on the edges, and spalling in a few months. The way I use to do hypertufa (for lightness of weight) or regular concrete if I needed it to stay in place ie wildlife not messing with them - was to make them up, unmold, and then immediately mist, wrap in double layers of heavy plastic and leave sitting in the shade (no sun) for a few days, check it each day and mist it down daily and cover it back up. Do this for 4-5 days. Uncover and let sit in the shade for 6-8 months and mist it down daily .when it rains obviously no need like in the winter. By following spring or summer - put in big tub etc of water and let soak. Change the water every day x 3 or more if you can. Check water with a pH meter. When it reaches around 6-7 you can plant anything you want except for blueberries they want pH around 4-5 I believe. You are trying to neutralize the lime or the pH out of the pot. Concrete is around12-13 (highly alkaline). Even hypertufa is high because it’s peat and concrete but not quite as bad as straight concrete. Peat Moss is about 3-4 pH (very acidic) and it will bring down the concrete some. And this is how we do hypertufa too. But if the pH is still around 8 then you will need to make sure what you put in it can stand that high a pH - not a lot of choices. Remember 7 is neutral, under is acidic, over is alkaline. Roses like 6-6.5, tomatoes 5.5-6, beans like snaps like 6.5-7+ a little. Asparagus like 7 maybe +. Lilacs like higher 6.5-7.5, Cactus can take higher 7+, but there are lots of pH plant charts. Your potting mixes will be acidic based (peat Moss, and bark) but they initially charge all potting mixes with lime to bring them to a general pH. You can contact whoever’s brand you use (look the manufacturer on the internet, they all have customer service)call them up and ask. They will all be different and different mixes within the same manufacturer line may be different if made for different types of plants. A general mix would be 6-6.5 or 5.5-6.5. You can do a media pour-through test - search “media pour thru pH testing) so you know for sure. But the initial lime charge only lasts about 4-6 months depending on how often you water or it rains. You need to resweeten the soil each year — it depends on the size of the pot. Or you can retest with pour through technique to know what the level is. Regular Lime adds calcium, dolomite lime adds magnesium and calcium. If the pH is okay and you want to add calcium - use gypsum. I just know that mine will need it so I add a tablespoons every 6 months for pots 6-10” and up it for larger. If the pot is deep, you will need more or less. For things like tomatoes I add gypsum because they like calcium and you won’t get cat faced or blossom end rot. But back to the pots. I wouldn’t plant in them for at least 6-8 months or at least through your rainy season, and 3-5 days soaking and changing the water daily. If you don’t change the water, you aren’t getting rid of the lime. Check the pH and dilute with water til it reaches 7-7.3 and sprinkle your lawn with the soaking water — it will like the higher pH.

No, but when you go to sell your home, your Realtor will make you fix them for a stranger. Why not enjoy the fix while you live there? This happens all the time and it drives me crazy.

I feel your heartache. I had a daughter with severe asthma, it breaks your heart for sure. BTW she is 31 years old, still has it, but it is much better controlled when she became an adult.