As someone who has worked as a server, introducing oneself is typically the restaurant policy. Taught during training, and expected by managers observing and evaluating.

I'm always surprised that a server introducing themselves makes people bristle. I assume it's the policy and required of the server. I can only imagine there are rude jerks out there who feel they need to comment in the negative.

Since you mention it, I've eaten at the French Laundry and the table greeting is something like "Good evening Mr Whiplash, we're so glad you and your guests could join us today".

I make a point of always using the servers name if they have said if to me. It is respectful to them as a person and in my experience, generally gets you even better service.

Table 3 that called me Joe vs Table 2 that says hey you and both orders up at once? Guess who is more likely to be served first, or get that extra lemon wedge quickly?

I find that works for all customer service jobs really. I've worked customer service and it can be quite thankless. Whether it's calling a business, a server introducing themselves or the cashier with the name tag on that is ringing up my groceries, I address them by name.

It takes no effort on my part but makes our interaction more pleasant for both of us.

Oh, good grief. The reason a server tells you his/her name when first greeting you at your table is so that you will know who your server is when you flag down another server and ask for something, or ask the other server to find your server for whatever reason. Example, "Excuse me, but would you please tell Mindy that we're still waiting for the extra sauce for our orange chicken."

mimipadv: "I'm always surprised that a server introducing themselves makes people bristle. I assume it's the policy and required of the server. I can only imagine there are rude jerks out there who feel they need to comment in the negative."

I wonder if the reason so many restaurants have the policy of servers introducing themselves is in hopes of reducing the incidents of rude jerks snapping their fingers at passing staff. "Hey, we need another drink over here!"

No not at all.....I have used that phrase since I was just a young girl.

so did all my friends.

It's better than youse guys. I've heard that one.

"You guys" doesn't bother me a bit. I like that much more than being called "Dear" by a 25 year old. Or worse "young 'un", ugh.

I like knowing my server's name.

"Youse" was very common where I grew up. "Yiz", too.

I'm a ya'll person!

We always address the server by his/her name after they give it.

Youse (yous) is a direct translation of second person plural in some languages (i.e., the singular second person plus the regular plural marker), which is how it got to be so prevalent in the NE in some immigrant communities.

You guys, y'all, etc., are Americanisms which have formed because people feel that there should be a second person plural pronoun that is distinct from the singular. Which is all very interesting because "you" used to be the plural, along with ye (the singular was thou/thee). :) But then the fashion was to address people in the plural to be more formal, and it went on from there...

You guys, or just plain guys, as in "thanks guys" are commonplace and they don't bother me in the least. It had better not bother me, I often say "guys", not so much "you guys".

I do not like being called 'hon'. Either online, or in person. It irks me when someone I don't know online, as in wishing their spouse well (I know the spouse, not the wife), or I'm asking or passing on an item, and they thank me by saying 'thanks hon'. They don't know me, nor I them. I just think it's tacky.

Personally, I loathe "you guys" -- why can't they just say "you folks"?? So much nicer, IMO....

I don't address one person as y'all--I say you. If I'm speaking to a group, or asking one person about the group as a whole, I say y'all. If I ask my brother, "What time are y'all planning to be here?" he knows I'm asking about his whole family.

Thinking further about the waitress thing, we've had other threads about what servers call patrons. Other than in a fine dining establishment, where one expects formal manners from the staff, I don't see any reason to take issue with what I'm called so long as it's done with an attitude of trying to give good service. Recently, I was at family restaurant, and the waitress called me "Sweetie". The first time, I didn't regard it, but after the third time, it got a bit wearing. She didn't use any kind of endearment with my companion. OTOH, she was an excellent server and I'd rather hang onto that than worry about what she called me. But it does make me think of the Cathy Fink song Little Darlin's Not My Name.

Growing up my sister and I were never allowed to use the word guys. My Mother considered it to be very vulgar to say you guys..

Sue

I'm not offended by 'you guys' at all, but I agree with roxanna, that 'you folks' covers the plural meaning of 'you' perfectly.

You guys need to visit Pittsburgh's Strip District.

Pittsburgh Strip District

Brushworks Spectacular Finishes

You guys need to visit Pittsburgh's Strip District.

Pittsburgh Strip District

*******

Where yinz guys can get a Primanti sammich with an Imp and I'rn.

it doesn't bother me. i even use it once in a while.

I've been called much worse than "you guys"... ;) It's just a general term. Like when you type a letter and you address it "Dear Gentlemen" because you don't have a name to send it to. It's what I was taught in typing class. Doesn't bother me in the least.

I say it all the time without a second thought. I certainly don't mean to be calling women men. It's just a phrase/saying. My grandma doesn't like it either. I definitely prefer it to y'all.

If they have a good attitude, and attempt to make our interaction as satisfying as possible, I don't care how they address us.

I am not offended by you guys or you folks, but I feel their use is inappropriate in a business or restaurant setting. The phrases are too informal and make the user sound immature/unprofessional. IMHO, of course.

A simple you is much better.

Words are just words. All that matters is the intent behind them.

Doesn't bother me at all. I laugh when our restaurant owner says "Hi Kids!" (We are elderly.) One of the waitresses always comes over and gives me a big hug saying "Hi Sweetheart". I love people no matter what they call us.

Doesn't bother me.

I'm puzzled by those who prefer 'you guys' to 'y'all', when someone is addressing a group. Y'all means 'you all', with no reference to gender, and that seems more appropriate to me. Maybe adding 'all' is not necessary, but it lets people know that you are including everyone in the group.

Hey, when I relocated to the Columbus area I learned to pronounce it doll-lars, not dollars.

When visiting my relatives in Canada, I realize they say, "I've bean (been) there several times", not I've been (ben) there several times.

@Mama G

I think it's regionally based. Growing up in OH, I would have been teased for saying y'all. It was considered southern and an affectation spoken by someone who was not from the south.

These days I think y'all and you guys, have become more widespread vernacular. I use both. :-)

llucy, where did you grow up? We lived in central Ohio when I was in grade school, and I don't recall using 'you guys'--maybe 'guys' when addressing other kids, as in, "Come on, guys, let's go to the park.". It wasn't until we moved back to So.Oh, to be near my parents' families, who migrated from Virginia and Kentucky, that I picked up the 'y'all', and I just realized that I still use 'guys' more often than 'you guys'.

I once shared a college suite with several girls from Parma Heights, near Cleveland, who thought my southern accent was "so cute". I don't think I have a southern accent, had even less of one then (especially compared to my Kentucky relatives--my grandmother called their accent a brogue ;), but I find that the longer I live in So.Oh, the more southern my speech becomes. When the Kentucky relatives came to visit, my father immediately, subconsciously, picked up the brogue, when in their presence. :)

mama goose_gw zn6OH

I'm puzzled by those who prefer 'you guys' to 'y'all', when someone is addressing a group. Y'all means 'you all', with no reference to gender, and that seems more appropriate to me. Maybe adding 'all' is not necessary, but it lets people know that you are including everyone in the group.

*****

I have never and would never infer that "you guys" literally excludes the females present. In some regions "y'all" just isn't common at all, and "you guys" wouldn't even make a blip on the radar.

I grew up in Mansfield. I now live about 8 miles from Mount Gilead.

In between I lived in FL where I became comfortable using y'all thanks to some southern friends. :-)

Doesn't bother me at all, but I'm from Texas :) Y'all is a normal everyday word around here.

Sometimes I find it necessary to find the manager and say our server "Mindy" did a fantastic job by waiting on all 15 of us with a smile on her face and never once got upset with the special needs person in our group who has just made the biggest mess on the planet. You see "Mindy" might now get a bonus on her weekly paycheck, or a special mention in the daily servers meeting, or a promotion or.....well you just never know how a nice action or speech on your part might turn out.

Oh and another thing, I live in a small town, the waiter/waitress might be a kid that grew up with mine, a friends child, or a relative, all of them are out there working their tails off just so they can pay their way and it might be the first job they were offered on their way to becoming your doctors/lawyers/nurses/judges/teachers/presidents...

Y'all have a great day now, ya hear? :)

Interesting dialect tracking maps, including Y'all (Ya'll), you all, or you guys:

America's many linguistic divides, 2013

I just don't like how y'all sounds. I have never lived in an area where it's common, but I'm sure I would feel differently if I grew up in the south. I wouldn't blink at "you guys" as it's something I hear and use every day.

Chi- not necessarily so. Obviously I live in Texas and ya'll is very common here and I still bristle every time I hear it.

It just sounds so...hickish country I guess is the best way to describe it. (No offense meant to anyone who uses it)

Of course bear in mind that I've lived in this town my entire life and have been asked on countless occasions where I'm from by other locals.

So interesting! Y'all sounds nicer to me than you guys, though both can be heard here. We don't get the youse, however. I don't mind any of them unless it's the guy who calls a single subject "y'all", which I've heard, which sounds pretentious, like he's just trying to sound Southern and doesn't really know what it means.

Nope, doesn't bother me. More commonly heard in my neighborhood is "youse guys", often used within a group of well acquainted people where all know this is a malapropism. Its like a friendly slap on the back of our grammar.

"It just sounds so...hickish country I guess is the best way to describe it. (No offense meant to anyone who uses it)"

It's the same for me. It's funny how accents disappear for singers whose native English isn't American (like the British), or even with singers whose mother tongues aren't even English, yet Country Western singers (a music style I really dislike) seem to sing with heavier Southern accents than when they speak. I guess that's just the style but it's not appealing to me.

I've spent a fair amount of time for business and other reasons visiting but not living in the American South. I've met many nice people (and as elsewhere other kinds too) but the twang just doesn't hit my ear right. Nor does "y'all"

Snidely- it is interesting to me that you mention singers as I took extensive voice and diction lessons when I was younger and I attribute my accent, or lack thereof, to those lessons.

A big example I constantly hear on the radio, regardless of musical style, is "chew".

Singing a song with the phrase "without you" or really any other phrase where the beginning word ends with T, and the next word is you; listen next time and you'll hear "without chew!!!"

Drives me batty. In singing, I was taught to essentially drop the T so when singing it would come out as "without you" and not "without chew"

I've been told that I sound like I'm mid-western. Most locals can't quite place my "accent" aside from the fact that it doesn't seem local.

The weirdest one to date was a cashier at my local grocery store who asked me if I was from Australia?!?!?

Apparently she had a college roommate from Australia who really tried to "hide" her accent and the way I spoke reminded her of her old roommate.

LOL! TG, I know what you mean! I have a California Coastal accent, if any (it can vary), but have been accused of being from England, especially when I was young. I always figured it had to be about diction or something--certainly not accent! I'm sure you're right that it's the singing/diction lessons that set you apart. While it's true that a lot of accents "disappear" while singing, there are exceptions when the singers want it to come through. When people identify with a particular place and/or culture, their speaking accents deepen, so why not their singing voices. That's true in folk and pop music, however, not highly trained singing where the tones are made pure. The thing about the Midwest/Western (no twang version) accents, the kind you hear on TV most, is that they're very flat. Instead of having the bumps that you'll find in a drawl, brogue, twang, etc., there just aren't many of the oddities we identify as belonging to "accents", so it's more similar to the way you were taught to sing.

As a follow up, I was discussing chameleon accents with a close friend of mine and we both agreed that it does happen, and it is quite annoying when it does as we aren't consciously doing it.

A few months later, I read about a study which found that Texans basically change their accent dependant on the situation.

If we want to appear intellectual, we drop or minimize the accent, if we want to play up Southern charm and hospitality, we enunciate it.

Her and I both agreed that it does happen and, at least for us, it happens subconsciously.

Put me in a room full of good ole boys and I suddenly develop this southern drawl, quite annoyingly unconsciously.

When she traveled to Europe and spent weeks touring the local countries, she was mistaken as Irish by a native Irishman at the end of her trip.

I don't know if it is a uniquely Texan thing or a uniquely "us" thing but what I do know is that my best friend and I have both been questioned on where we are from based on how we are speaking at the moment and it is, by and large, unconscious on our part.

We both have extensive musical backgrounds and, from my cursory search, that may play a part in it as having a "tuned" ear might make one more aware of local dialects.

It's the same for me. It's funny how accents disappear for singers whose native English isn't American (like the British), or even with singers whose mother tongues aren't even English, yet Country Western singers (a music style I really dislike) seem to sing with heavier Southern accents than when they speak. I guess that's just the style but it's not appealing to me.

*******

I notice this all the time, too! I find it fascinating that many Brits lose their accent completely when they sing. I also don't find twangy Country singing appealing either.

No offense to anyone, just personal taste.

When people identify with a particular place and/or culture, their speaking accents deepen, so why not their singing voices

******

Or when politicians are pandering!

I became aware of my Philadelphia accent a long time ago, and try to correct the particularly egregious pronunciations, like "wooder" for water.

That said, after a couple glass of wine, I'm all "Yo, Adrian!"

TG, it's not a Texas thing (that's just what that particular study was focused on), it's a human thing. When we want to fit in, or just be well understood, in a group who speak differently, we tend to pick up bits of their accents (unconsciously--though I'm sure Mimipadv is right about the pandering, and could add con men to the list who do it on purpose), and if it's an accent from our native cultures, even if not our normal way of speech, we tend to go in for the whole thing to the degree to which we want to fit in. If we want to establish ourselves as the real deal, the accent may actually be stronger for than the people who always speak that way.

It works the opposite way too. People who want to retain their senses of who they are find it difficult to lose their accents when speaking in a foreign language. They may have surface thoughts that they really want to speak more like a native, but in their hearts they don't want to let go of their own ways of speaking. There's often an element of classism in that. You've heard the old saw about everyone attending Oxford University coming out with the Oxford accent? I don't know that that's true anymore, and in the past there have been people who have worked hard to shed it, but, in general, when anyone with foreign or lower class accent was there, there would be such massive social pressure to change that it happened and stuck through their lives. Similarly, when people feel the opposite of wanting to fit in, especially if they feel that their origins are superior to the group they're among, their own accents are less likely to soften. That doesn't have to be class based, or alienation, however, and could just be retaining a sense of identity to their origins and selfhoods. Or something like that. :)

I have a friend I rarely see in person (we e-mail a lot), who is from D.C. I noticed last time we had dinner together--here in California--that I was stretching words at the end of an intonation (I think that's what it is) in the D.C. way. I guess that was my unconscious way of embracing her. :) My own accent pops out most when I'm with people who speak with a Western drawl, but it retains that, um, well, "surfer" bit.

Nope. Not a bit. "Guys" has transformed into a gender-neutral term, not unlike "actor" and in this world of looking for ways to take offense to nothing it says the people offended must have a pretty dang good life if that's their worst complaint.

And FWIW, "waitress" is now a sexist term in the field. "Waitperson" is now an offensive term. Interestingly, it's gone to the now gender-neutral term "waiter" (according to the people I know in the restaurant service business.

The talk about the accents is interesting and I have noticed and mentioned to people on a number of occasions how singers lose their accents. I was shocked to hear Celtic Thunder members speak during an interview and how heavy the accents were. I had an uncle who was born and raised in Houston Texas. He had a slight accent but not a lot and I noticed he NEVER said yowl. I asked him why one time and he said because in his job he travels a lot and needs to get credibility in short order since he doesn't have a lot of time to schmooze. He said if he'd never get any credibility or respect if he "sounded like an inbred hillbilly". That stuck with me for a lot of years. When I was involved in broadcasting and would be traveling I'd always listen to the local news and it struck me how the bigger name news anchors seldom had an accent. Apparently even people with a drawl don't want to listen to their news from someone with a drawl. Even Houston's very own (the late) Marvin Zindler lost a LOT of his accent as years went on. I recently listened to some recordings of his early reports after hearing some of his later ones and even his last report. Interesting.