Welcome back and so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. It sounds like your doing what you need to do for yourself and that's good. As for your kids, I'm a daughter caring for her mother that lost her father. Don't hesitate to "bother them". They made need you to.

Again, so sorry to hear about your husband. I'll bet you had many happy years together.

Welcome "home". I agree with two25acres. Your daughters helping you out will help them with their own grief. You'll all be a combined force and support for one another. They need you; you need them.

Blessings and peace to you.

Saying Hi to yu Sandie, and sending hugs!

Nice to see you posting again, Sandie. You've had a very hard time.

Your DH's illness was so long. It occupied so much of your energy. You and he were unable to win that battle and were faced with bitter defeat. It was a prolonged, frightening, painful time, without a good outcome. It was the last thing you did *together*.

Your mind must have become accustomed to 'worry mode'. The battle is over, but this may be hanging on as habit. Fortunately, our minds are capable of 're-training'.

Your DH will always be a part of who you are. You will always miss his presence in your life. His life ended, but you and your family have your own precious lives to live.

I like Georgysmom's suggestions.

I am sad that you have had this painful time through the past year, Sandie.

It might be a good time to have a heart-to-heart with the two daughters, to let them know that you don't want to cause major intrusions into their lives, and that if what you are asking is too difficult for them to accommodate, that they feel free to tell you so, for sometimes it's possible to arrange something that will accommodate both.

I think that it's best to have all of the cards on the table, at such a time.

I agree that you need to relate to them, and they to you, for grieving together is more satisfying than grieving alone ... or with mainly outsiders, who may have a community of feeling, but lack the closeness that helps so much.

May you all find a blessing and peace of heart as the days and weeks pass.

(((((Sandie and family)))))

ole joyful

Welcome back to the table Sandie. Having lost my hubby too, I can say it gets better. Hope your sons health improves too. Pull up a chair the table bunch are here for you. Hugs

Hi Sandie, sorry to hear about your husband. I know just how you feel and how hard it is. It will be 5 yrs for me in Sept and its no easier today then when it happen. Have you stopped in the grieving forum? I have a widows webpage if your interested, it might be of some comfort.Just widows

Glad to see you back.

Welcome home, Sandie! I have no answers or suggestions for you. I will tell you, however, that you are in my prayers each day.

Hi, Sandie. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sometimes it just takes time to get through the rough spots.

I thank all of you so much. This table has always been a blessing to me. All of you have so much to contribute and you are always kind. I am happy to be back at the Kitchen Table.

Welcome back Sandie. I'm very sorry you lost your husband. Losing someone you love is heart wrenching. Please rely on your daughters, my mom relied on me after my dad died and she was all alone. She also traveled to my siblings' home and would stay. Maybe you could visit your son?

I hope your sons health issues clear up quickly and completely. I hope you can find peace from your grief. Please come often, and tell us about your DH. God bless his soul.

My husband Jim and I were married a month away from our 51st anniversary. Happily we renewed our vows on our 50th anniversary. My son and his family came down from Missouri and we got to meet our great grandson.He was a year old and my husband just loved him.Jim was a greeter at Wal-Mart after he retired from the Orange County School board. He was a small engine mechanic.He worked there for 20 years.He became a greeter and everyone loved him.He was very friendly.He was a Clown for Christ with our Church. He was Santa and the Easter Bunny and even the Kool Aid man at WM.Jim was a wonderful man,husband,father and grandfather. He died from Cancer of the Lungs. The last year was very painful and I know that he is free from pain and at peace. I miss him more every day. I just feel blessed for the time I had with him. I want to encourage all of you to quit smoking.Whenever I see someone with a cigarette, I just want to go and tell them Jim's story.

Great to see you here, I'm sorry for your loss!

Hi Sandie. I remember you and when you posted your husband passed away. I think you and I were the last to leave the dinosaur age of Webtv

It's nice to see you posting again, Sandie. I guess you are doing all you can to cope, and I hope you can find an activity you enjoy to keep your mind busy. Do you have any inclination to work with kids on a volunteer or paid basis? I find they are a good antidote to sadness of all kinds. Best wishes too for your son. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Hi, Sandie, you've come back to the right place. I can definitely empathize with you. My husband has been gone for 33 years, and it doesn't seem possible when I think about young people who were born at that time and they are grown, married, with children now and it just reminds me over and over how long that has been. I am basically a People Person and I found my best help was to be involved with group activities. We each have to find our own path, and I'm sure you will find yours. I have two grown children, and my son is one of those who has smoked all his adult life. He is just now finishing up radiation and chemo therapy and we are hoping for the best when he has his final scan later this month to get the results. So I second your attitude re smoking. Let you daughters help you; it will help them too. My daughter is my mainstay now. Best of good wishes for your son.

sjerin, I love working with kids. I have always worked with kids until four years ago. After my second breast cancer, my oncologist said that it was best if I didn't work with children. It was dangerous with my weaker immune system. I worked at the Preschool with my Church and also in the Nursery. I get to see some of the kids that I worked with when I go to Church.They are growing so. I miss being with children.

Awww, I'm sorry you can't be with kids anymore, Sandie--that must be tough. Can you be out and about with adults? There are many volunteer opportunities if you can, though I know sometimes it might take time to find a good fit. There are volunteer websites (google those words, if you want,) that list possibilities. If you're not up to that I wonder if you can do some online tutoring for kids who need extra help? I'm sorry to sound pushy; my mind always goes there and my fingers on the keyboard follow. I so agree about talking with and seeing your daughters as much as time for all of you allows.