My son and his lovely girlfriend
10 years ago
Celebrating his 25th birthday in Berlin. Miss him so much!
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My son, my ex and my son's taxes
Comments (18)oh, definitely--have the son put a freeze on his credit w/ the credit unions, in case dad tries to take out a loan or credit card. (is it possible that dad doesn't realize the son will not get his refund bcs of this? Maybe dad thought the only party affected would be the U.S. govt? And so dad didn't think he was actually stealing from his own kid?) And help your son figure out what he'd need to prove that he is not his dad's dependent: -rent receipts and utility bills from the entire year, to prove that he paid for his own roof -ATM-card records to show that he bought groceries often from a grocery store near his home, to prove that he paid for his own food -pay stubs, other work documentation to prove that he was occupied full-time and therefore not a student If he doesn't have any of these things, he can substitute letters (notarized!) from the appropriate people--landlord, boss, roommate. "Junior was a full-/part-time employee who worked X hours a week, from Start Date to December 31, 2006"--especially if he doesn't have pay stubs w/ hours worked, etc. Also to prove he wasn't a student. Have him put it in a folder, and label it, etc., and find a place to keep it so that he'll find it when he needs it. (I keep all receipts, etc., from every tax return in a folder w/ the return itself--just in case) Another thing perhaps, to help w/ the immediate crisis, is for someone who could be a go-between (paternal uncle? paternal grandma? you?) to call the dad and tell him he needs to give his son some money to make up for the fact that he has stolen his kid's tax refund. I know you're using the term "adult" lightly, and in this situation, you *should* use it lightly. Things like this are hard for kids to learn while they're still "kids" and being taught by their parents. This sort of grownup-finances stuff is why parents' work isn't done just because a kid turns 18. This could be a good lesson for him in how to prepare documentation for court, in how to keep records of finances, etc. (all the best lessons hurt, unfort.) I wonder if your son could take him to small-claims court for the amount of the refund? print out the reply from the IRS, ask his brother to testify to the conversation? The ideal would be if he could get his hands on his dad's tax return; I don't think you can subpoena documentation for small-claims court....See MoreI love his kids, but he's mean to my son
Comments (8)He was cool towards my son prior to our marriage and I almost postponed the wedding. He has promised me repeatedly to work on this issue and usually does for a short period of time. While we were dating and even prior to that, my son was a tremendous handful! In fact, I was exhausted by the time I met my husband from the constant demands my son's high energy that wore me down. After we were married we did work together with my son, who continued to be an extreme challenge. To add to that, my son was having to learn to share me, had to go to a new school where he did poorly, and quickly alienated all of the kids on our block! After exhausting our combined efforts to help my son, we finally had him evaluated for ADHD. He was "diagnoised" but we still waited to see how his last marking period went. (the teacher obviously grew weary of working with us and stopped sending behaviorial and academic reports home!) He almost failed 3rd grade! Right after school was out, he went balistic, behaviorially so we started him on Concerta, a time-released form of Ritalin. From that point on, my son has completely turned his life around. He's made new, longer-standing friends, gets along better at home and in school, has excelled on the swim team, is getting the best grades he's ever had, and is growin confident from his continued successes! My husband, however, still judges my son based on his old issues that were obviously not mine or my son's fault. My husband is going back to the counsellor alone at thie time because I'm too angry with him. He is trying, and deeply saddened by our deteriating relationship/family, but I'm not sure I can trust his ability to completely change who he obviously is...I'm so sad...thanks for your reply......See Morei love my boyfriends son as my own. but i have a big job ahead.
Comments (24)"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" Not only is this true with kids, but when a parent is totally gone, the child can also fantasize about how wonderful the absent parent is. They can create the perfect parent in their mind if they want. I was 22 when I got together with my BF that had three kids. They were 1, 4 & 6. Their mom was on drugs and left and never came to see them but maybe once a year. I spent my 20's raising his kids without benefit of marriage and when it didn't work out, I was 29 and he wouldn't even let me talk to his kids anymore (unless I would come back to him). I had no legal rights. In a way, I spent my youthful years taking care of his kids while he worked on his career. (he went from a street deputy to detective Sergeant while I was with him, because my being there allowed him to work any shift and not worry about his kids) A house was purchased (in his name only) but I paid on it and helped with improvements but ended up walking away with nothing. (I sometimes think I was lucky to leave with my sanity intact) I get the impression that you think that you and he will have a wonderful little family, especially if the boy is calling you mom. I didn't think of that before gigglemonster said it, but if he is, I can certainly understand why BM would be jumping on you. I'm not saying she's right to, but I could understand that here's her little boy calling you mom and you are trying to make the family she was supposed to have with this 'prize' of a guy and not only that, but he's thinking the kid might forget about her. I'd be fighting mad too. My guess is that the mom is also fairly young, early 20's??? There's a lot of emotions and immaturity too that could be contributing to all the conflict. and I guarantee that she'd tell her little boy to stop calling you mom if he is. He is too young to understand why it's upsetting to anyone, he'd call you both mom if he loves you both... they don't know the difference or think about how the 'real' mom will feel. They are so innocent but that's being ruined by immature people that put him in the middle of all this conflict. I'm really sad for the little boy in this....See MoreI like my bfs son but HATE my bf when his son is around.
Comments (6)I had a husband (yes HAD) who always made me be the bad guy to our children. He was Mr Fun. It's not a good way to live. I can't imagine your BF will change if the two of you have any children together. :(...See More
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