Has MIL always been lazy or is it possible that she is just deeply depressed? By this point, everyone else close to her age that she ever knew is probably dead so she may feel she has no one to talk to that really understands her. Plus, in my experience, people of that generation have a deep NEED to be needed and they get depressed when they feel worthless and a burden on others. Problem is that depression makes it harder for the depressed person to WANT to do anything so they actually become more of a burden on others... which makes them feel even worse about themselves. You might try figuring out some things that your MIL CAN do and then asking her to do them FOR you. Even if it is just the simplest of tasks like stirring something on the stove while you prep the rest of the dinner. Or setting the table. (Even with a walker, if you put the stacks of dishes/glassware/etc on the table, she can set everything out properly) Or dusting...easy enough to do with one of those lightweight dusting wands. Or maybe she could teach you how to make some signature dish that she used to make? Does she make her own bed? Pick up her own room? Do her own laundry? If not, do you think she is physically and mentally capable of doing these things? Don't assume that using a walker makes a task utterly impossible. I've seen determined old folks who use walkers continue to do a very wide range of activities. Motivation is the key. Try presenting the tasks as things you NEED for her to do FOR YOU. IF she feels that you NEED the help, she may rally to do things that she "doesn't really feel like doing" because DUTY is a huge motivator for those born back before the depression. Really, it doesn't matter what you get her doing, as long as she feels like she has been a help to you, she'll probably begin to perk up. My 83 y.o. father just moved in with me a couple of weeks ago and is still recuperating from major surgery. So I've been doing EVERYTHING for him. This morning he got up clearly depressed. My youngest brother and his two pre-schoolers were here for Christmas and just left yesterday so that probably had something to do with Dad's depression. Nevertheless, I decided there was no way I was going to let him sit around all day feeling sorry for himself. So, after breakfast, I said "Dad, I've got about a jillion things I need to do today iand nowhere near enough time to get them all done. Do you think you could help me out by taking care of all the laundry?" We had several loads just of sheets and towels from having had company. Dad jumped right in. I showed him how to run the washer and dryer than the two of us Went around and pulled all the sheets off the beds and gathered up all the towels and other laundry out of all the bathrooms. I figured I'd have to do the sorting but Dad started in and it was clear that he knew what he was doing so I left him alone to do it. Laundry room is right next to the TV room so he watched football and did laundry pretty much all day....even hung things up on hangers and folded up the fitted sheets, etc. When I started fixing dinner, he came in and asked if there was anything he could do to help! That's the first time he's offered to help since he's been here. And it is obvious that his mood is about a thousand times brighter than it was 8 hours ago. Plus, I actually managed to get a few things done that I've been postponing for weeks because I've been waiting hand and foot on Dad. Sometimes I wonder if maybe we try a bit too hard to "take care" of our aging parents,

thanks everyone for your help, mm thanks for the pics, I think mine is probably the same type as yours with that yellow strip down the side and yours seems to be behaving itself there. I love the sound of your "mexican garden". dee I will check our local wa site and see what they say about it, Im a long way from any bushland though so it shouldnt be a problem, they wont escape from these beds because it's all surrounded by paving and they wouldnt have anywhere to go if they tried. robyn thanks for that info, frost wont be a problem and our overnight winter temps normally range between about 3-10c and it's pretty unusual for them to go much lower. "they produce lots of offsets when they hit the side of the pot so in the ground they will not reproduce so rapidly." that is very interesting because it explains what mine is doing. Ive had this plant in a smallish pot for about 12 months and all of sudden there are about 4 offsets coming up on the edge of the pot and the pot is getting all stretched out of shape where they are growing. at least I know now if I have to remove them it wont be too hard. thanks robyn. hi len, I'll only put a few of them in there and surround them with a mix of other plants, I dont like the look of just one plant mass planted so I always mix things up together. trancegemini

I wonder why they said sphagnum and not peat. I wouldn't use sphagnum for anything but a top dressing. There are many plants you can grow semi hydro but Sans isn't one I'd try. I wouldn't use sand either. I have never had luck with sand as a soil additive. The particles are too small and compact. When I did use sand it was the only time I had cats interested in my plants.

Usually, their leaves are very stiff and rigid all on their own and don't require support. Can you tell us more about it? How much light it receives? How often does it get watered? etc. Some photos would help, too.