What do you have to apologize for? He didn't want to pay your asking price, even after you lowered it. Farmer 1 told you he will not participant in a bidding war. Enough said. Be happy with Farmer 2 and going through the closing. You have nothing to feel sorry about. It is a business transaction, that's all.

It's a business deal and it sounds like farmer 1 was trying to get the better of you. Be thankful you didn't have to carry farmer 1's mortgage. You owe him nothing.

The first farmer wanted YOU to hold the mortgage?!? ie. he'd pay you some money each month until it was paid off.

Or the first farmer wanted to get a mortgage from a bank but you'd still get the whole amount when the deal went through? He just didn't have the cash sitting in the bank. That's the normal way for deals to happen. Few people have the full amount in cash.

If it's the former, I would have run away quickly. If it's the latter, that's not really a big deal.

But if you didn't have an actual contract with the first farmer, then there's no reason to feel guilty about moving on.

Business is business.

There is no obligation to inform Farmer #1 what you are doing, especially because they specified they didn't want to be in a bidding war.

Telling Farmer A about the offer from Farmer B could have been construed as an invitation to a bidding war, so your agent wisely decided to say nothing.

You said, "Out of frustration and not having advised first farmer my real estate agent has asked a second farmer and he will pay whole amount in cash." Whose frustration - your realtors? If the 'negotiation' with farmer one was while you were represented by a realtor then you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about and had no obligation to to inform him before or after the sale. If you were originally selling by owner to him, then maybe I can see how you would feel a bit bad for not giving him a heads up about this other offer but he told you his limitations up front so at the end of the day, it's about you selling your property to someone you can reach an agreement with. Move on and don't think about it - you did nothing wrong.

From a rural person's perspective ... do you live in the community? If you do and might interact with Farmer #1 in the future for some other reason, I'd let him know (or have your realtor let him know) you had someone else who accepted your terms.

I understand the other poster's saying it's a business decision, but you don't want to ignore niceties in a small community.

Hi Greg2015 - Farmer 1 wanted me to hold the mortgage and no contract with him.

Hi DLM2000 - I was frustrated at the mortgage back negotiations and so I got a realtor.

Pamghatten -born and raised in community but not live there anymore.

Thank you all so very, very much for your very valuable comments. Your insightful comments are helping me with my guilt.

The feeling bad part is from two issues: Not telling Farmer 1 that I was getting a realtor then Farmer 1 maybe would have come up with the cash and him saying he was going to use farmland to put a house on it - so dashed his family plans also. Business is business and conscience is conscience. Which one do I wrap my mind around more for how to respond to Farmer 1. Still wondering from other contributors should I be (deeply?) apologizing to him and how tell him land was sold?

I live in rural America and have my whole life. We recently (in May 2014) sold 100 acres. We offered it to the neighbor, who farms many acres. He wanted us to carry him on a mortgage. Nah, we wanted our money now.

We sold it instead, through a realtor, to some city-slickers from Kansas City who paid cash and intend to use the land as a weekend getaway, we assume - we don't really know and don't care.

Our situation sounds exactly like yours.

We owed nothing to the neighbor who didn't have the money to buy. He could have gone to the bank to borrow the funds or found it in some other way besides asking us to carry the mortgage for him. But he didn't. I guess he didn't want it bad enough.

My advice: stop worrying. Farmer #1 and his plans are not, and have never been, your problem.

It sounds like Farmer 1 was trying to pull the wool over your eyes (if you are right in your explanation of what he wanted). You don't have to feel guilty for nearly getting fleeced. (No pun intended. I hate puns.)

Thank your lucky stars for Farmer 2.

I don't think I would bother telling Farmer 1 anything. And even if he did in fact have good intentions and wasn't wanting you to hold the mortgage, then it might come across wrongly if you do.

The whole point of selling something is so that you now have the money. If you only get it in dribs and drabs, then you may as well be letting it. Farmer 1 (if you are right) effectively wanted to rent your property from you and at the end of the lease, own it. See how illogical such an arrangement is?

To be fair, some people want to carry and enjoy the dribs and drabs and Farmer 1's offer doesn't mean he is trying to "pull the wool over your eyes".. As was said, it is a business transaction each party is free to say how they'd like to structure the transaction.

Given that Farmer 1 explicitly said that he didn't want a bidding war, then NOT telling him about Farmer 2 was actually the right thing to do! If you told Farmer 1, then that would pressure him into engaging in a bidding war.

No reason to apologize. If you feel like informing him that the property is sold, that's fine. But don't apologize. You did nothing wrong.

Very unfair to comment "pull the wool over your eyes" without knowing how difficult being in farming business especially for the ones do not have farmland inherited from previous generations.

Having extended families as small farmers, I learned how challenging farming could be and why farmer #1 had to wait until harvest to afford more downpayment. Having all money upfront could be extremely difficult for many farmers. Sounds to me the farmer #1 knows his limit, as over extending could bankrupt himself simply having one or two bad years.

Once the transaction is final, I would let farmer number #1 that you have completed a deal on the land and that you wish him the best in his future endeavors. I think that to do so would be a kindness. I would absolutely wait until the transaction is final and you have the money in your pocket so to speak.

I wouldn't bother notifying him. You need not have any contact with him and there is nothing to be gained by talking to him... It's simply a case of too little, too late.

I would never critiscise Farmer 1 for wanting to wait until harvest. Not at all. Just for maaaaybe wanting the arrangement he wanted. Still, it might have suited some people I guess. And better to assume the best. Point taken.

I wouldn't bother with informing farmer #1 either. There is no need to. You were conducting a business deal that he did not want to participate in at your price. Plus the fact that he wanted to use your small acreage for building a house, not farming. The deal is just about over...let sleeping dogs lay.

Farmer #1 offered you something that would have worked like a dream for him but that wouldn't have worked for you, & that would have put you at risk financially.

Close on the sale with the other guy & thank your guardian fairy angel godmother.

Thank you all very, very, very much. I have read and reread your comments and you have collectively put my heart more at ease. Am still reading this so any other comments will be read. Thanks again

I agree, no need to contact Farmer #1. If he does ever say "Hey, I thought you were going to sell me that land!", you could respond, "It's a shame we couldn't reach an agreement. As I said, I needed an outright sale."