Who's Responsible for My Behavior? I think it's...Alisande!
sylviatexas1
8 years ago
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sheilajoyce_gw
8 years ago
Jasdip
8 years agoRelated Discussions
I Think I Might Regret My Purchase
Comments (32)Thank you for the condolences. I am having a hard time with grief moreso than when I lost both my parents. I know it has been only a few days but I am really going to miss Lizzie's late night calls from work. I was with her when she died at 3:55 am. I had sat in the recliner just after joking with her about the show we had watched 3 times that day and said I would change the channel at 4 am. I sat down just before 3:50 am and must have nodded right off. I woke at 3:55 and I knew she was gone, the noise of her not breathing was what woke me up. Either that or she tapped me on the shoulder as she was leaving. I am glad she wasn't alone when she died. Lizzie worked as a nurse until the end of March but kind of figured her cancer had spread because of the weight loss since Christmas and she hadn't been able to eat anything. Lizzie had stopped taking her chemo drug "femara" because of the aches and pains and being a nurse she knew the fluid buildup in her abdomen was not a good sign. She had double breast cancer while working in Saudi Arabia the same year my Mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. She just turned 65 in March. Started chemo again in April, was finally admitted to the hospital to be hooked up to an intravenous bag of food which she tried to avoid having and then she got a blood infection and was too weak for chemo and finally on Wednesday she decided no more treatments or invasive procedures. She ate ice chips and took anti nausea medication and the odd pain med as needed. She had humour right up to the last day. When one of her nursing co-workers came to visit her on Thursday I told her it was Nurses Week and she said she knew that. Her friend said "Lizzie and I were going to go out" and Lizzie said "rats" LOL Patti, my oldest sister Marjorie is the one I usually talk about. She had inflammatory breast cancer over 22 years ago and then had another type of breast cancer last summer and had a mastectomy. She also has other health problems but you wouldn't know it to see her. She is 72 years old, travels back and forth to St. Louis just about every month and I keep telling her she is going to out live us all. Bahaaha, she gets on my last nerve sometimes but I sure would miss her. LOL She drives me nuts. LOL Lizzie and I shared a bedroom until I was in my 20's and she was only 10 years older than me so we were closer. Marjorie isn't like the rest of us. LOL While reading the rough draft of Lizzie's obit I kept saying something was wrong, I kept reading the names of my siblings - Marjorie, David, Donald, Raymond, Anne Louise and Paul. I read that over and over and to myself I said there aren't enough names and couldn't figure out who was missing. Then it dawned on me Lizzie's name was missing in the birth order, her name should have been after David's. That is when it really hit me, that she was gone. I have been crying off and on most of the day today. Okay, I feel better about my decision on the stove. I have always had an electric stove and the almond coloured one I do have still works but the door doesn't shut/lock properly so I can't use the self cleaning feature and I am sure heat is lost when I bake but I knew how to compensate for the temps. This stove is white so it will match my refrigerator. I was going to get the convection oven because I do a lot of baking but I couldn't rationalize spending $200 more for that feature. I would love a gas stove but I am used to cooking with electricity and I would have to run a gas line into the kitchen and I wouldn't have been able to vent out the exhaust because my stove is on an inside wall. My niece is getting my sisters expensive pots and pans and she is going to give me hers - I think they are Lagostino. I am still using some of my Mom's 70 year old Wearever pots. I was given a set of non stick frying pans for Christmas and the bottom of them are not smooth and are actually quite sharp if you run your hands across the bottom so they would definitely scratch the surface and Billy my friend the salesman said that type of aluminum used in those pans is soft and can melt if used on high heat which would really damage. I will continue to use my Le Cruset dutch oven though even though it is grooved on the bottom. Billy said heavy flat bottomed pots and pans are more suitable for this type of cooktop, and preferably stainless steel. He even said copper bottomed pots and pans were also not advisable. He also told me to get a thermometer to measure the oven because sometimes it could be off a bit with this type of stove. Some of the ceramic topped ovens he showed me were over $2000. I really like the one that came with a griddle feature but way out of my price league. LOL I still wanted to be able to buy my ereader. LOL Time will tell. My old stove goes out to the curb tomorrow. In with the new out with the old. I guess I won't be making omelets ala Julia Child anymore. I will have to get used to lifting my pan off the burner to shake the eggs to keep them loose. Anne...See MoreI think I hate my Stepdaughter
Comments (12)Brenk, I don't even think that your post should be "I think I hate my Stepdaughter" because your feelings towards her admirably transpire nowhere in what you write other than in the title of your post. This is a very serious and dangerous situation. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, especially during your pregnancy (as if that and then taking care of a 1-year-old wasn't enough already!!!). Biologically "linked" or not, if one of your children is harming another one of your children, what would you do? What would you do with your husband if he weren't listening to you then? I think it's clear you would make sure everyone be safe, right? A woman I met many years ago said that relationships are like wagons: sometimes the man pulls the wagon, other time the woman does... It sounds like you have to pull this wagon because your husband's judgement may simply be clouded by the guilt of it all... I can't tell you how many times I have had to have the same discussion over and over again with my husband, sometimes making decisions without his "consent" simply because there were pressing issues at hand. Talk to CPS for advice; do you have a counselor or a therapist you can talk to? Anyone that little girl can work with? You are in such a delicate point of your life, the last thing you need is stress like this. Find someone by you to give you support... Personally, I am not a fan of the idea of sending the little girl away, I think that sending the wrong message (you screw up, we ship you off); but as other posters have said, I think she needs to hear a message. Also, if you see something off about the little girl, then I take it all back and I say pack and leave ASAP.... but from what you write, it doesn't sound like that. And you know what? You may be too strict on that little girl, but for pete's sake, you are pregnant!!! You have a babe on top of that to take care of!!! It's a miracle that your fuses haven't blown completely. Not that losing your cool is OK, but it happens and you need some support. Chances are, you may be more strict than your normally would be because you have no back-up and you are doing the enforcing for 2! What helped my husband hear what I had to say when we had "issues" is that I told him that the problem was mine and that I needed his help because I couldn't handle everything. Nothing about how I felt about the kids, nothing about how he was an absentee parent, nothing about how insane or dangerous I thought the children's behavior was (we had our interesting patches too), but all about me. I don't know, I suppose he felt as if he could "save his damsel in distress", but something clicked and he stepped up to the plate. I don't know if it holds any value for you, but I will keep you in my prayers....See MoreI think I actually hate my step son
Comments (12)As harsh a reality as that is and it sometimes can be completely insane, Deborah is right about the "cub" thing. You better play it smart or else you will be kicked to the curb never the son. A son can be a spoilt, selfish, lazy and useless brat and the mother will still fend for the cub. He could even be a total pyscho and most mothers will fend very strongly. In this case he belongs to the former rather than the latter and this is the case most of the time. I have a step son who is 13 and I am sending him to live with his Grandparents. I had to play it very smart to get this to occur. The step son uses me and shows no respect he never has. The first time he ever met me when he was 10 years old he asked me for money. He hits his grandfather and shouts at him when his grandfather tries to assert himself. This boy has run the joint ever since he was born. If he did something wrong, grandma would give him some candy or some money. His mother is a single mother and the father abandoned her and the son and daughter who is a fantastic girl turning 14 this year. She works her ass off and I have nothing but respect for what she has done since I got involved in their lives. But the step-son is different and is actually undermining her development. This was especially so before I entered the picture when the daughter was a wreck always moaning and upset yet unable to verbalise her feelings. She was ignored while the step son who is useless in an economic sense continued to rule the roost. Despite these kind of factors mothers will do anything to fend for the cub. My way of getting him to the grandparents was to argue that they give him what he wants, and that the cost of me disciplining him at this late stage is just to great. The house would be a warzone, a pitched battle between me and the step son to get him to take responsibility and to demonstrate respect for the fact that I dragged him and his entire family out of borderline poverty. He does not give a shit that I did that because he is no longer in control. When his family was poor they still spoilt him. They are still poor now mind you but they will never fall below the poverty line; i am their security guarantee. A 13 year old boy is old enough to understand this in theory. Especially the MASSIVE change in living standards. They lived in a 'house' the size of a small bathroom with 6 people and rats running around it. I pulled them out and all i get is used by the step son who actually prefers the old life because he was the boss and did whatever he wants. When I tried to control him it became war and instead of continuing it I said to his mother, you know what, he now knows that he can not beat his elderly grandfather and shout at him (because I grabbed him by the throat when he did it). With that control mechanism in place, he knows that if he does it again I will take it further because that is just beyond the pale, beating or hitting and screaming at your grandfather who loves you and kept you alive slaving in a factory for 60 hours a week for a paltry 25 dollars for the entire week...So with that being said, I argued that he should go to the grandparents for now, they love him and will spoil him gladly and he will be very happy as he can do whatever he wants. Me on the other hand, I want to vomit when I see it and refuse to do it. The cost of trying to get him to play ball in society is not worth the result because he is not my son. But my argument to the mother was not that, because I would have triggered the 'cub defence mechanism' that is inbuilt in all mothers. My argument was simple: (1) he will be loved and there will be no real conflict (2) the grandparents love him to pieces and are happy to take him (3) he will be happy there and you (the mother) will not have to worry about me disciplining your son anymore (3) (i actually most left this part out though) her daughter can focus on her study without her brother and grandfather taking over the house with their bullshit (grandfather cooks fried pork fat hotdogs and fried chicken for step son every morning) the daughter eats it because it is what is there - that will change when the step son and grandfather go back to the grandmother's house. Moral of the story is if you want to get rid of a step son you have to make it benefit him 90% + with very little downside to him personally; in my case it helps that he never liked me despite what I did to get him out of poverty. So easier to get rid him. Also I pay the bills. Depending on what your situation is you have to tailor your reasons accordinly, but if you want to succeed you must make getting rid of him a plus for him personally and not for yourself. Otherwise you will trigger 'mother cub mechanism' and it is GAME OVER if you do that. Find a way to make getting rid of him a net benefit for him and make sure that he is in a safe loving environment. You won't succeed in having him go to a less safe environment because that will trigger the mother. BE VERY SMART and capitalise on ANY viable opening you might have....See MorePossible Delta tub filler defect, who’s responsible.
Comments (7)GINA REID INTERIORS: "Who is responsible here?" Clients can have a very unrealistic "retail" version of who is responsible and what the remedies are. They are used to taking the item back to the store and getting their money back. Whereas that's not really reasonable in a remodel job. It's your responsibility as the professional to define roles, what services you are providing, what are the limits of your responsibility, etc. Also know that when you blur those roles and responsibilities, it makes it hard to extricate yourself later. Indeed I think you blurred the roles and responsibilities quite a bit -- and that's why you are in this situation. Legally, who is responsible for the leaky filler? Delta has a very clear warranty, I'm sure. Beyond that, I'm not sure. You received a fee for overseeing the project. Does "overseeing the project" include overseeing warranty issues and callbacks? Did you spell that out in your contract? If you didn't, why didn't you? Either you are working as the GC, the homeowner is, or another party is. If you are working as the GC, you need to be clear about your role, what you are providing, and the limits of your liability. If you are simply a consulting designer and the homeowner is the GC, then you need to be clear about that up front. Don't mix those two roles. If you are acting as the GC, then you need to have a markup on things that you supply (faucets), because you are going to have to deal with the callbacks and warranty issues. Here's what I really think: I think you need to say to the client "Hey, I don't think I was as clear about my responsibilities as I should have been from the beginning. I am a consulting designer and my responsibility for this job stops when I have provided the agreed upon services and/or you have signed off on the completion of the job. However, I'm going to work with you to oversee this warranty issue. I'm not going to be responsible for the cost of the parts or labor, but I will facilitate this specific repair." Note that this is a repeat client and that it sounds like you, as the professional, didn't spell out roles and responsibilities and at what point your role stops. You should take your lump and look at it as a cheap lesson (and hopefully retain the client)....See Moregrainlady_ks
8 years ago
Alisande
8 years agotwo25acres
8 years agowanda_va
8 years agorgreen48
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoAlisande
8 years agochisue
8 years agojoyfulguy
8 years ago
skibby (zone 4 Vermont)
8 years agosylviatexas1
8 years agotwo25acres
8 years agoMade this one up today for a nephew, his birthday is Monday. He has long arms so had to add to the length. Used a goodwill jean jacket and a hoodie, removed the jean jacket sleeves, add hoodie sleeves and hoodie. Less than $7 total cost.
two25acres
8 years agoMade this one for my sister in law. It is 2 skirts and a blazer. Total cost was $11
two25acres
8 years agoA couple more, the boys jacket was for another nephew. He's 6'4", I'm 5'5", had a real hard time finding a jacket long enough for him. Had to add a flap in the back, the sleeves had to be lengthened and because he's got massive arms had to add some leather down the undersides of the sleeves. I used a jean jacket, felted wool sweaters and hoodie plus the leather. Total cost for it was about $14 and this one took some time. The other one is a jean jacket and a hoodie sewn together. Sister in law loves this one.
arkansas girl
8 years ago
wantoretire_did
8 years ago
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