I know people will want to throw a book at me for mentioning this again, but mindfulness meditation can be very helpful in helping someone deal with stress. They've found it useful for people with PTSD and other severe stress reactions. It's about getting familiar with recognizing the rising stress levels, recognizing that you are not the stress response but you are aware of it and in doing so, it helps the dissipate. In general, a regular practice of meditation also lowers the stress response and alleviates depression.

I'd also suggest that she talk to one of her professors to see if, even as an experiment or for extra credit, she might try taking a test in a different way...perhaps orally, face to face, or as a take home exam, or even with a proctor or in some other way that might not trigger as stressful a reaction.

I'd also suggest that, perhaps her issue is one of how she is studying...traditional study methods may not be good for her. Or she may need coaching in how to study more effectively. For example, I always suffered with my eyes going back and forth over the page, but the mind was elsewhere...finish reading a chapter only to find none of it was even noticed. So then I learned to read the questions at the end of the chapter and then take an active stance in looking for the answers to specific questions...by being more proactive in my reading, I found I absorbed a lot more. Another thing that helped me with this bored reading thing was to read while I was walking. Apparently the physical motion was enough to keep the other half of my mind occupied while I was reading the text and it helped me a lot. I'm not saying these specific things will help her, but only suggesting that if she learns new study techniques, it may help her learn more efficiently and easily and help her meet with success and still have time for fun.

What about her seeing a school counselor/advisor? They are there for exactly this type of issue & after all, it's part of what is being paid for....

I have a twelve year old who has difficulty taking tests. We are trying to sort out what is going on--attention to task problems (ADHD), anxiety, memory issues, etc.. (He has a history of developmental delays as well.). The school is doing a full battery of tests to try to get more information. We are doing this through the public school system, but you can also do this sort of testing privately. I have no experience with it for an adult though.

Our end game is to see what accormmodations and services Ds might need. He already has some accommodations through section 504 of the Americans with disabilities act. For example, he has preferential seating, meaning he sits in a place that is easier for him to concentrate during class--big thing for him is not to be seated next to chatty peers. Other accommodations can include extra time for taking tests (we have a friend who got this for the first time during law school as he was newly diagnosed with ADHD).

I think her college should have a person or department who deals with accommodations for students with disabilities. I might start there to see if they can offer any suggestions for getting her assessed for ADHD/ADD, anxiety and so on.

Good luck!

If you suspect that your daughter has ADD or even just anxiety that is affecting her performance in school, being diagnosed and/or treated for such would likely qualify her for special services through her college's disability services department. She could be offered a number of concessions, including extra time for testing, taking her tests alone in a quiet room, etc. Her university may have information about their programs online.

Your daughter's experience sounds like mine when I started college. I had to learn how to study. That is different for every person since what works for one may not help another. See the school counselor for guidance in finding help with studing skills. I went from struggling to pass a few classes to a full ride academic scholarship! It can be done.

I'll also suggest that she (and you) read Mindset. I'm about half way through the book right now and it really makes sense (especially since your daughter is comparing herself to peers). My son is in kindergarten and his teacher recommended it to all parents in his class. It's good for parents of little ones through adults.

She is young and might she benefit from taking a year off and getting a job? It can be a real confidence booster. That or looking into a different major? If she isn't doing well in the typical classroom lecture/testing she might excel in something more hands-on. The goal isn't necessarily to be a success in college testing but to be a success in life.

Missymoo said what I was thinking but didn't quite know how to put into words. Is she in college because she wants to be, or because she feels it's your expectation that she be? I completely agree with missymoo's last statement, in particular. Perhaps an open and frank talk with your daughter will reveal some things she's kept hidden from you about her own hopes and dreams, for fear of disappointing you.

She needs to be sure she has chosen the right subject area for her mentality. Some people - like me - can't follow mathematical equations and chemical formulas, there is an actual recognized medical condition that this can be. At university I should have gone for something like English or maybe Business instead of trying for Horticulture, immediately running aground on the shoals of Chemistry.

I haven't posted lately and didn't read the other replies. Your post made me want to come out of the dark.

Get her tested for dyslexia. I have it and wasn't tested until I was about 22. I tested an 11th grade reading level and a high IQ. Mine is auditory/reading so it got worse in college, but since I still got a low B average, it was assumed I didn't work hard enough.

I have difficulty reading words that I use in language every day. Remember the book Absolom, Absolom? I had to read it in college and couldn't pronounce the title. I can't tell you much detail about a book or a movie I read because the process of reading often takes so much effort that I loose the ability to retain. I also have difficulty following what others are saying if it's not a two way conversation. And unless I repeat things, they often don't stick.

i was labeled an underachiever throughout my schooling. Went through many tutors who showed me how to memorize using flash cards, how to study and how to relax before taking tests. None of that worked. I studied like crazy for tests, but couldn't retain information reading a book and misunderstood multiple choice questions. I took tons of notes, but they never made sense later cuz I didn't follow lectures well. I got A's on my papers and C's on my tests, so the assumption was that I didn't study enough.

After college I took the LSAT. Went to classes, studied like crazy and bombed it. As luck would have it, I was introduced to a therapist who specialized in learning disorders who tested me and put me through a great program to help cope with he condition.

I chose not to go to law school, but the skills he taught me have been invaluable. And I've had a successful career in spite of it.

Have not read other answers, so please forgive any repetition. Check out the ADD piece. Very important. Diagnosis and treatment can make all the difference. Low confidedence and self-esteem is a very damaging and long-lasting side effect of both ADD and ADHD. Run, don't walk to your nearest, best psychiatrist.

Assuming she wants to be in college, she will have to take all types of classes even if it's not her major. That is part of the life lessons of college. Just because it is hard it doesn't mean you should run from it. Buckle down and get through it. If what you've always done isn't working, try something else.

If possible - get her tested for reading level AND comprehension level.

My son didn't have test issues until he got to college although he always struggled in school. He tried a variety of studying methods and what worked best for him was to make "heading" notes with a page number.

If it was a history course on WW II one of the chapters might have been on Dieppe. His study notes would be on - who was involved - pg, 62, where was it - pg. 65, what was the purpose - pg 72, what were the ramifications - pg 80.

Then when it came to studying he had quick places to go to instead of reading the entire chapter again and then when given the test outline he already knew where the concentration was instead of again, having to reread everything.. The most important thing for him became doing the weekly reading assignments and making his quick notes at the same time.

The other thing was that if there was a list in the text, for example a list of the French battles in WW II, he would list them in his quick notes with the page number. He wouldn't overwhelm his notes with a description of the battles because he knew where to find them. He also, as someone mentioned, used the study guide at the back of the text and many texts come with on-line study guides which he also used, after he made his quick notes. Key for him, was knowing were to find the information in his textbooks.

*For him the problem was being overwhelmed with the amount of constant information and he had to simplify it but he always knew where it was by the page numbers if he needed to know more.

He also took a year out after second year and that's when he figured out that being organized in his life was key. He had to be organized for work (he went away for the winter season and was a liftee at a ski resort) and also worked at a local hardware store the rest of the time. The being organized skills that he learned when working and taking care of himself he translated into studying and learning skills.

He did go back to the community college and got his associate degree and did much better. He then got accepted to a school for a two-year business degree in real estate development and this school is a B* of a school in terms of requirements and expectations and he got through. (yea)

I feel for you and your DH and especially your daughter. It is so hard to see them struggle. At this point I would suggest taking a year out and allowing her to basically refresh and reset herself. And it sounds like you're not, but everyone has to stop comparing her to her peers including herself.

My philosophy is that these kids all reach 30, having finished school and becoming involved in a career of their eventual choosing. Some of them take a very straight path and some of them take a very windy path. Our son took the more windy path - so what.

She took a much lighter course load because of the harder course and were ok with that. I have mentioned the counselor but it is very hard to get a 19 year old to be able to say the right thing and not feel embarrassed about asking for help. I think she just gets overwhelmed and everything just snowballs until she is a nervous wreck. I don't want her to give up her education because she is really smart and usually outgoing, but is really bummed about this.

She sounds like my DH was in college - he was put on academic probation after his second year (the year I met him). He didn't do great in high school either. I think he has some ADD issues but they have never been diagnosed. He dropped out of college a couple times and worked knowing he was just wasting money going to school. He finally found a field he was passionate about (geography) and became an A student. It probably also helped that we decided to get married and he realized he better find a way to graduate from college sooner than later.

Does your daughter really need/want to go to college? Would it be better for her to learn a "trade" as a first step so she can reduce the stress and have some success? And then maybe pursue a college degree later (or never if she finds her passion)?

Though I did well academically in high school and college, I learned a "trade" that at the time was taught in a four year university but has since moved in many cases to vocational school. It allowed me to get a good job and later finance the rest of my four year degree with no debt (and no help from parents who had no $ to pay for my education).

Both DH and I ended up with good jobs and a nice life. Then and now I don't think all kids are cut out for a four year college degree right of high school and maybe not ever.

I was going to suggest the same thing as 1929spanish* as it is very possible she could have dyslexia. I had a college friend that found that out her 2nd year in college. She'd always been able to squeak by just because of having a good memory and she really didn't realize she had it. It was thanks to one of her teachers who recognized this could be an issue (he had it himself) that she got diagnosed. She got to take her tests in quiet and in a separate area as well as went to a therapist who helped her with strategies to cope. I know you said she doesn't have difficulty reading, but my friend didn't appear to have that either she even read books on her free time. She now thinks she retained enough of the books for them to be entertaining - maybe as a person would be reading between the line, but says she now gets so much more out of it.

I found a free test online you could have your daughter take or just take it yourself on her behalf to see. It might be helpful to see if that could be the direction.

http://www.testdyslexia.com/

I have another friend who has ADD. She got diagnosed after her son got the diagnosis. No hyperactivity just hard to stay focused and she is very smart, but due to the focus had issues with studying and paying attention in class. I know when we studied together it used to frustrate me to no end as I would explain something to her and she'd figure it out and then with a few problems later she'd loose focus again. (edit: note this was before I knew she had ADD and I never said anything that it would frustrate me)

Am I right in understanding that all through school, your daughter was not tested as to why she was struggling?

I agree with all the posters who say to first have her tested. See what the issues are first so that you can then create a plan.

Here's the thing: college is a great opportunity, it just isn't for everyone. Nowadays though, it is assumed that everyone will go to college.

I would also look at your daughters interests. Hair stylist, culinary school, vocational/technical two year programs? There really are many options.

Then there is the maturity factor. I love to use my older brother as an example. He barely graduated from high school and wanted to drop out to join the Air Force. My father would not sign the papers unless he finished high school. So, he did, then enlisted. Long story short, he went back for his college degree, then went on to get a Masters in Rehab Counseling where he worked for over thirty years. He is now a professional at a state university.

Here is a person that the teachers gave up on. Things clicked into place, just not in the usual time frame.

Then there is this: looking at my daughter's friends who received all the top honors and awards turned out to be regular adults, nothing exceptional.

From the perspective of the student, I cannot tell you how unhelpful and frustrating it is to be a person with learning disabilities and being asked/told about maturity, aptitude and hard work. Please have her tested and explain why you think it's a good starting point. The results will tell you which step to take next.

Had I had my books on tape, different testing circumstances and access to notes, there is no doubt I would have done better. Instead I was constantly asked if I studied, why did I change the right answer to the wrong one, did I need to take a break etc.

What I HEARD was "you are not smart, you are not mature, you do not pay attention and you don't work hard enough".

That kind of negative reinforcement does nothing for someone in this position.

msmagoo, please feel free to reach out to me privately if you would like any more information about my experience.

Personally I wonder if many of the ADD diagnosis in this country is actually dyslexia since we seem to produce an inordinately high percentage of ADD diagnoses compared to other countries like France, as per some of the literature I've read. Thing is, you can't take a dyslexia pill and make it go away. But that is a topic of discussion for a later time.

This is going to sound odd to some, and maybe extreme, but if the problem continues, and maybe even now, you and your daughter may wish to see someone who specializes in such behavioral disorders as phobias and OCD's.

The same tactics used to help people overcome these problems can be used to help people gain both confidence, and coping mechanisms. Test taking can be very stressful to some. Emotions and errant thoughts can completely overwhelm a person sensitive to these situations.

I prefer the approach previously known as RET, CBT, and now known in the U.S., as REBT (among with other names internationally.) It is an excellent method for helping people overcome stress and anxiety, as well as deal with behavioral triggers. It doesn't always require a therapist, as much of the effort is in simply learning the causes, and then, for most people, lightly retraining yourself. It can be done right at home, but a visit to such a therapy session can reap huge rewards in a very short time.

I wish you the best of luck.

I have seen time and time again students who get a set idea in their mind that they have to act a certain way, do certain things a certain way, achieve certain things, etc. Not sure where they get this mindset from, it is often a combination of factors, but "all or nothing" thinking is one of the major reasons I see kids burn out from college. This rigidity of mindset may be part of the reason they are struggling so much with college, because a lot of conflicting stuff comes at you in college! Life is not all or nothing! The first thing your daughter needs to do is get a handle on that kind of thinking, it is not doing her any favors. She needs to find a good mentor.

I was convinced I could NEVER do well in math or science, because it was difficult for me and because the typical way of learning it didn't work for me. I have had a 30 year career in the sciences, and it is mostly because one TA in the Chemistry help room at Michigan State told me, (after I had told HIM that I just couldn't do it and that my brain was not wired to be able to understand chemistry), that "Yes you can do this and you can learn this. You just need someone who can explain it to you in a way that you can understand it." He then went through the concepts very slowly, not skipping anything at all, even the most "obvious" things, using diagrams not talk, step by step with opportunities for me to practice and respond. Talking it through, step by step, over and over again. Rinse, repeat. I became a science teacher because of that moment, and to pay it forward. Too many young people out there are not as lucky as I was that night in the chemistry building when I was nurtured by a caring and inspiring teacher. Some people think college should be like walking a gauntlet. That rarely serves the majority of the students well.

I got through chemistry with a B+ and trig with a C. About half the
class of 150 failed. I worked harder for that C than many of my other
classes. I managed that by working trig. problems over and over again
with my brother who tutored me.

Oh yeah, I need to edit this to add how I even ended up in a chemistry and trig class in the first place. I really wanted to major in Natural Resources, which is a science field, but I figured it was totally out of the question for "someone like me" and I hadn't even gone through a science prep track in high school. I tried to avoid anything that had even a whiff of math associated with it. But because MSU had a required science cognate for everyone, and one of my peers got through that by taking a field course in the Canadian Rockies, I decided to do that too, it would be fun. I ended up backpacking in grizzly bear country above the tree line and I had never even tent camped before in the back yard!! Meeting that challenge, under a supportive set of leaders, gave me the boost of confidence I needed to tackle the tough science courses back at college. I basically started over in college my junior year after that. The point of that long story is that if your daughter can seek out some kind of summer internship or job or volunteer experience where she is challenged in a whole other way, it may help with the emotional maturity part, which may then help with the academic part. Some ideas are work at a summer camp for disadvantaged or health challenged kids, the Student Conservation Association, missionary work, study abroad, internships with a local non-profit, volunteering with a local service group or arts council, etc.

The lone genius burning the midnight oil all alone with a book in a garret persevering by raw will alone just does not work for some people and should not be the model we try to cram down everyone's throat. It's rarely how people ever actually succeed in the real world. Sounds to me like your daughter has a confidence problem and a problem with getting help and relating to her peers. Solve these, and the grades will follow. This sounds flip, I know it takes a lot of tears and sweat for these issues to be resolved. I shed more than a few tears and sweat drops! One possible idea is for her to get out and get involved in DOING something she loves and feels passionate about. There is a chance that she will meet some good, decent inspiring people to serve as friends and role models, to widen her peer support network.

If it were me, I'd really consider having her tested for a learning disability, ADD or test anxiety by a specialist. I don't think it's ever too late. One of my son's teachers strongly hinted that our son had ADD but I was doubtful as he did not exhibit any signs other than inability to keep focused. Internet research of his symptoms made me consider the possibility that he had some sort of learning disorder. His reading tutor at the time recommended a few psychologists who specialized in testing children and it was determined that he has a language processing delay which is most apparent when he takes tests (information overload for him). He typically does poorly w/o considerable help from me or dh in preparing and he is only in 7th grade now. While he is keeping his head above water in middle school, barely, with a few test modifications, he will definitely sink at a regular h.s. so we are looking into a special program for kids w/learning disabilities at a private h.s. that works with them for four years to help ready them for college. I think if he were to attend the h.s. my other kids go to he would flounder and never get the skills he needs to be successful with his disability.

All that said, I have resigned myself to knowing that he will never be an A student. He may never be a total B student. He does have low self esteem confidence issues related to his disability, so I'm hoping that by getting him into this program, he will 1) see that there are many other kids just like him who struggle and 2) obtain the skills that will help him function better when he is off at college. I think it will also mean looking at a college that has a good program for kids with LD.

While your dd may just have test anxiety, having her see a specialist can determine if this is the cause or if there is a different underlying cause for her struggles in the classroom. It isn't cheap to get tested, but our medical insurance covered it.

It is SO hard to see your own child struggle, especially when it is often no fault of his/her own. I know you said at one point you thought her lower grades were the result of procrastinating and not trying, but it is possible that she knew how hard it was for her brain to absorb the information or it really just shut down after a certain amount of time. I know that it is not possible for my son to cram for a test. He really has to study over a period of time to let this material sink in so that repetitive review over a series of days is more helpful. There are times when I help him study and I can tell when his brain is just on overload and no amount of more studying in that moment is going to help. It is also very hard for him to watch and hear about how well his siblings do in school with so much less effort than he has to put in and he still ends up with Cs or even lower. All the more praise for him when he gets a B on something (and sometimes As).

Good luck to her and I hope you can find some answers to why she apparently continues to struggle.

Thinking if it were my child, I'd be nagging her(kindly) about getting into the counseling office until she does it...

Maybe ask her if she would like you to set up an appointment for her - perhaps that's the stumbling block? Kids often just do not know how to ask for things.

I'll chime in as well regarding testing. She can't get testing accommodations such as extra time or take tests at the campus test center in private unless she has a documented disability.

I would assume she participated in some sort of college orientation course that helps students develop study skills and organizational skills?

Some courses like anatomy do require a lot of memorization and repetition. But still, see the professors during office hours, the TA if available, or some sort of centralized tutoring center for certain courses. Many students don't take advantage of these and there should be some type of academic support services on any campus whether community college or 4-year college/university.

I am so sorry she is having this trouble. I am very lucky to have a top community college and UC in our back yard. I encouraged my sons to take a light load and explore what called them. After far too much goofing off in city college, one is pulling 4.0s in his UC program and getting ready to apply for a masters/Ph.D. Program. The other is finally back on track and hopefully in to the local UC in the fall. He had an IEP since he was 3, passed grades by being in summer school every year of his k-12 classes and teachers that saw he was smart even if not showing it. He is now a tutor and teachers aid at the same local city college. My point? Don't let her give up. Maybe find a local program where she can explore as well and take some less stressed time learning what she needs to do to succeed. She may find that different teachers explain things better or that retaking some courses she passed in HS at the college level better prepare her for the next class. Even just having the confidence that she knows the subject might be what she needs. I know many schools offer online learning classes and having her home in a structured environment might help. And by all means check in to tutoring! My son even tutored online for the summer school sessions. His trouble in learning is what encouraged him to want to be a teacher

Agreeing wth Missymoo nad Auntjen again.

Does your daughter know what her goal is in terms of college, career or life? If she is just going to college because she doesn't know what else to do, a break might help her experience, perspective and some goals. If her goals don't involve college or a degree, that's okay. If she does need a degree, she should seek out testing and counseling.

I have a niece who was not diagnosed as dyslexic until late teens. I can't imagine the frustration that must cause.

I will also tell you that while I went through undergrad in 3 years, DH took 9 years. He flunked out - in part because he didn't have goals and was in college mostly because it was expected and to avoid the draft. He worked, gained various experiences, was broke and ultimately decided (while working in legal services) that he wanted to go to law school. He had to talk his way back into school but graduated and got into a top law school. I'm not suggesting that law might be her thing, but that once you have motivation and a goal, she needs to know that, as grown up as she feels she should be, she's still a kid and it is very possible to completely rewrite her life at this point -- many times over, in fact. She just needs to slow down or stop for a bit, get some help, figure things out and start back on the right track.

Our boys used to ask how long it takes to get through college. We'd laugh and tell them it depends. In our house, it averages 6 for DH and I. DS1 was 4 and DS2 is iin a 5-ish year program (4-1/2-6 depending on whether he declares the second major). We tell their friends the same thing -- and explain why so they know struggles in college are the kind of thing you can overcome and bounce back from.

Please reassure her -- college is not life and grades are not who you are. If she has a learning disability or challenge that has not been diagnosed, she doesn't even have the right tools or know where to look yet. The answer could be very simple, but she will have to be looking for it. If college is something she needs or wants, she can figure this out. If she doesn't, she shouldn't let this defiine her. She may still be more successful than many of her peers who do well in college but suck at life. KWIM?

This kind of college failure can really derail one's life and be very hard to overcome (speaking from experience). She MUST want help; she MUST seek help. She MUST consider alternative life paths -- temporary or permanent. Many good suggestions here.

The best thing you can do is to research the available types of "help" and give her options. Concrete suggestions -- here are the addresses of two counselors, here is the person to talk to in student services who can arrange a tutor, here is the information on a years' volunteer service. Have specific suggestions rather than vague, "you should be tested" talks, and let her choose.

You can know you're in trouble, but not where to turn. In college, I knew I needed help, but I didn't know where to turn, and no one was there to help me. If I had known, maybe I would have made it all the way through the first time.

In the end, though, you cannot solve her problems for her, or make her get help -- she has to do it.

I apologize that I have not read all the responses.

I only wanted to say that I think self-confidence is the most important thing. She needs to get that back, whether it derails her plans or not. It sounds like you are mostly concerned and not judgemental; lucky she has you as parents.

She just needs a good guidance counsellor or therapist to help her decide what she wants and the best way to get it. I would continue to be supportive and nudge her that way.

Poor kid, it really is so much easier as you get older!

Please, please take your daughter in for academic testing. She probably has a learning issue that she could compensate for fairly well during her younger years, but college level academics overwhelmed her capacity to compensate.

BTDT with two sons, both gifted, who didn't perform well academically beginning in middle school. I assumed it was immaturity and not trying their best. The oldest crashed in college, and that was when we took him and youngest son in for testing. Both have learning disabilities, as it turned out.

As for confidence, my youngest was miserable when he was struggling with school. After figuring out coping techniques/medication that work for him, he finally had some successes that got him back on his feet. It was a long haul, though. BTW, he has ADD (no hyperactivity) -- no teacher suspected it until he was a high school junior and had an English teacher with ADD who noticed the subtle symptoms. No teacher suspected my oldest son had a LD either.

For testing, we opted to use a private practice neuropsychologist who administered a two-day battery of tests. I thought she was extremely thorough.

Wishing you the best of luck and much support. It's so hard to see one's beloved child struggle and be unhappy.

What is her career goal?

Has she taken courses in things she is really, really interested in? How does she do in those classes? Even if it is something like art, music; doing well in a class (even if it is an easy one) will help build confidence.

If it is really the tests, try taking a course that does not have tests or where test scores are a small % of the overall grade (an advisor could help identify them).

is she really interested in college classes? Perhaps some "time off" from school to explore the work world.

I'm sorry DD is struggling, this is hard for everyone!

But rest assured that many solutions are available to help. Colleges are really good at helping out students like this, but only if you go ask. Lots of students start out on a rocky path in college but they can learn how to succeed.

Setting aside the possibilities of ADD and the like, which we can't diagnose from afar, there are plenty of other strategies that DD can learn. The main point is that she doesn't just need to learn the subject matter, she needs to learn how to learn. Not all instructors point this out, but every college's counseling/advising/tutoring center will be able to help with this.

If she's putting in the hours of studying and attending classes and still not getting decent grades, then it's definitely a strategy problem. And the good news is that this is highly fixable. Some common study methods, like reading, memorizing words, and highlighting the textbook, are not very valuable. Others, like drawing diagrams that show processes and relationships, or explaining topics in your own words to tutors, are hugely valuable.

If you want to Google around, look up self-regulated learning (AKA, learning how to learn). Read the top section of this web page and see if it sounds familiar.
http://serc.carleton.edu/sage2yc/studentsuccess/self_regulated/what.html
(PS, I wrote these web pages, I work in science education).

Another must-do strategy is to go to the office hours of the professors. This is ridiculously helpful, for all kinds of reasons. Yet few students use this option.

Again, putting learning disabilities aside, it sounds like DD has yet to come across an approach to learning that works for her. In lower grades, she could pull it off, but in college it's much harder to squeak through. A 2 year college is an excellent approach because of the lower stress and greater emphasis on teaching and advising, rather than sink-or-swim scenarios that can happen at big universities.

She is lucky to have your support. That is an enormous factor for her success.

I work on issues related to what you're facing, so if you have specific questions, feel free to send me a note offline.

Good luck to all of you!

Your suggestion of ADD hit home for me. My niece went through the exact same thing. It took her about 7 years to graduate from college. Before her last year she was told she had ADD, was put on meds, and she did great and finally graduated! Now she is extremely successful and her self-esteem is through the roof!

One thing about ADD that people don't understand is that one does not have to be hyper, which is ADHD. Most people vision a hyperactive child when they think of ADD. But when a person is older, it's hard to concentrate and absorb information & they can also be sedentary/lazy. Not that they want to be "lazy" they just can't help it.

I would have your DD go to her primary physician over Christmas break. If the doctor suspects she could be ADD, he/she will begin her on a low dose of a med.

Good luck!

There are so many LDs now that were unknown when my kids were young. The field has gotten much more sophisticated at diagnostics and treatments -- all good. And some LDs aren't so much a matter of processing information (input); it's the executive functioning (output) that's weak. Neither of my LD sons have trouble learning. Both struggle with deadlines, projects, making & staying on schedules, keeping track of papers, & studying in a regular fashion to stay prepared for exams. All the executive functioning stuff is what sank them.

ETA: This may be more relevant for msmagoo's situation -- My sons also struggled with timed tests because they were so slow at taking them. Not that they didn't know the material, but, for example, they would spend too much time on details on some parts, & not allow themselves enough time for other parts of the exam. Or in DS#1's case, if the question wasn't written with crystal clear syntax and logic, he would sit there baffled wondering which of his five interpretations of the question would be the right one.

As you help her search for answers, remind her that it is nt a race -- it doesn't matter how long it takes her to find her answers -- only that she keeps trying until she does. A flower that blooms in summer is just as beautiful as one in spring.

I personally would not accept an ADHD or ADD diagnosis from a general practitioner. There are so many other things that can be similar in presentation that I would want to be seen by a specialist, especially before trying medication. Anxiety, hearing problems (particularly hearing in noise problems), vision problems, processing problems, all can present similarly to ADHD/ADD.

i agree with much of the advice here about learning how to learn, finding something of true interest, college not being the only path. And so on. But I would urge her to be sure she has all the information she can get about whether there are underlying difficulties such as ADHD or anxiety. One thing I have worried about with my Ds is that we could spend the next few years trying to teach him how to study and telling him he needs to work harder, all the while missing some piece of key information that would be useful to us and to him. The undiagnosed dyslexia mentioned above is the kind of thing I am talking about. What a terrible struggle to put yourself through if you can avoid it. More information would allow everyone to target efforts appropriately.

Yes to what CRL said, which is why the best place to go is the college's academic support center. All colleges have these. Karin and I who both work at college and in the sciences can attest that colleges are very well set up to help students nail down their academic issues and develop strategies for dealing with them. And also hook them up with additional support if it is not immediately available on campus. But as she mentioned, the students have to get there and follow through. Keep us posted. And as Lascatx so rightly put it, it's not a race or a quick fix, this is going to be an ongoing and hopefully cool and interesting story for your daughter.

"From the perspective of the student, I cannot tell you how unhelpful and frustrating it is to be a person with learning disabilities and being asked/told about maturity, aptitude and hard work. Please have her tested and explain why you think it's a good starting point. The results will tell you which step to take next."

Such great advice!

my very bright 13 yr old son has multiple accommodations i.e.: preferential seating, extended test time, the test my be read to him. No deductions for misspelling unless it's a spelling test. He has adhd, dyslexia, working memory issues, executive function issues. But he has come so far since his testing several yrs ago.

He works extremely hard and takes him 2-3 times as long to master the exact same material as his twin brother.

But we know what the problems are and we face them head on.

please try to convince your dd to get tested by a private psychologist with a Ph.D. to find out what the issues are. Even if she decides she doesn't want to continue college at some point..it's hard for a child to have those types of self esteem issues and feel "dumb". Good luck.