Another sad thing here is that you probably feel you would like to be able to do something, but cannot. Life is certainly no bed of roses, and I hope you can manage to keep this from spoiling your holidays. Pink

Wow, that's very sad. I hope there was someone there able to help them and comfort them. God bless their souls.

Very sad. Years ago I had an elderly patient, late 80s or 90s, I can't remember now. He walked into our hospital and never walked out. While he was there, his wife would call every night to ask how he was doing. At first he would talk to her directly but then he couldn't even do that. She was calling from another local hospital, on Hospice. She told me every time I talked to her to tell him that she loved him and to take good care of him because he was a wonderful husband. He died and never got to see her again. I remember asking one of his doctors if there was any way to move him so they could be together and all he told me was he wasn't stable enough. The patient was only worried about his wife, who was dying of cancer.

We had a horrible thing happen to a family in a small nearby town. One I drive through every time I go to work. Little boy, six years old, sleeping in his bed was stabbed to death. By a nurse from Indiana who was driving though to another state. No one knows why he stopped in this little town or why he did what he did. It's scary. Lock your doors, even if you think you're safe in the boonies, you aren't.

Hi jassy,

Maybe sometimes we can do a better job of comforting ...

... when we inhabit the same canoe.

It would be tougher for the survivor, though - but that one would know that the solitary suffering wasn't going to be prolonged.

Hope it doesn't cast too much of a shadow over your current experience of life and enjoyment of Christmas.

Some of my senior friends say that it seems as though all that they do is read the obits.

I tell them that they should be glad that they can ...

... for one of these days they won't be ...

... when it's their turn.

ole joyful

So sad that they couldn't be together in their time of need to be together. It just breaks your heart. My aunt was in her mid 90's when she was dying. She had no children and her husband had been gone a long time. She was alone with just neighbors who visited her on a regular basis. All her nieces lived in other states and had family. My aunt knew that we all loved her. I was the only blood relative who attended her funeral. The saddest part was the priest didn't even pronounce her name correct. As the service continued I whispered to my husband who his he talking about, he was calling her Teresa and her name was unusual it was Thursa. At the cemetery I had a moment to speak to the priest and asked him to please not call her Teresa as that was not her name. I gave him the correct pronunciation of her name. He said he did not even know her and he was sorry. I knew in my heart that he was.

Kathsgarden, I hadn't heard about the little boy stabbed in his home by the intruder. I looked up the article. How sick, demented and horrible and I wonder what his motive could possibly have been.

My father died 34 days after my mother died. This was back in 1970. (My 21st birthday was less than two weeks after my mother died, and she would have turned 54 the day after I turned 21.)

My father knew that he was dying (he had a bad heart valve that needed to be replaced), but the four of us kids didn't know. (And after he died, his doctor told us that he probably wouldn't have lasted more than about four more months, but that our mother's death definitely brought his death on sooner.)

At the time, it was really awful to lose both parents so close together, but over the years I have realized that it really was better that way. No matter which parent had died first, the other would have been (and my dad was) miserable without the other. And the four of us siblings would have had a more difficult time adjusting to the loss of our father if we'd still had him for years after our mother died.

I agree with Rob "I am a little comforted by the thought, at least each knew the other
would have the peace of mind that they wouldn't have to be without the
other for too long. I'd hate to think of leaving behind my beloved, left
to suffer the grief." I think it could be a soulmate thing... planned ahead of time before they came here. It is strangely comforting to me also.

A number of years ago, we had an tangled legal mess with an elderly couple. She was deathly ill and in the hospital. She signed a will that bequeathed all her money and belongings of any value to her husband. A week later she got better and the husband suddenly died instead. Legally, she found that she was penniless and could not pay any of the bills. Not only that, she did not legally own their home. I'm nor sure how that got resolved. it did take a session before a judge with a lawyer to work out some special arrangement around the legal bind she was in.

Be careful how your will is worded. You may want to insert the phrase, in the event of my death. . . . Consult your lawyer.

I am a legal assistant and I TOTALLY AGREE, make sure you consult counsel for any Last Will &Testament. What you say IS THE LAW according to your Will. If you cannot afford legal councel, there are services available in all areas through "Legal Services" look them up in the phone book. If not, look to your area "Aging of counsel) they can help without costs.

@jemdandy. The EXACT thing happened to my grandparents, with GF remaining houseless penniless. It was a MESS to fix.

olejoyful's expression..."when we inhabit the same canoe" is one I've never heard before, but can surely cover many circumstances. There is much deep sadness in life, but we must all try to put on a happy face for our friends and families, especially at this time of year. Try hard. Cheers. Pink

My aunt was diagnosed with lung cancer 3 years ago. Six months later, her husband was diagnosed with liver cancer. She fought a huge fight with her lung cancer (she was given 6 months), and died in February 2 1/2 years after her diagnosis. My uncle is still fighting his liver cancer.

In our town (KCMO) home robbers are reading the obituaries and go to rob the homes while the owners are at the funeral - abhorant!!!!! Now, when you have a family funeral, you will need to have a house sitter!