No. It is not necessary to continue to provide him with his own bedroom in the house after he graduates.

What are the circumstances that let to your present situation?

I would say no especially if the other kids are cramped, but southernlights has a good question. If something happened with him and your children, that could make a difference. If he's not getting along with them and he's only going to be home for a week here and there, I would give him his own room, it's not worth the aggravation; otherwise I see no reason he can't share with one of your kids.

This first year or two after high school entails such tremendous changes for young adults that it would be a real kindness if your stepson had the comfort of his room to come home to when needed. My oldest graduated college in May, started a job, and moved into his own apartment this summer; it's only now that I'm considering allowing our youngest to move out of the closet of his room into our oldest's bigger room. I'm still waiting to do this until after Christmas as our oldest is coming home for the holiday and would appreciate the comfort of being in his old room.

At the least, I recommend you let your stepson still have half his room. This will let one of your younger three move out of their shared bedroom and will still ensure that your stepson doesn't have to sleep on the couch when he's home.

If the three sharing a room are all girls, at least let your stepson keep his room through Christmas of the year he graduates. Starting college or becoming independent with a job can be a real bear the first few months, so he'd appreciate knowing his room is still available if he occasionally needs it. Then, have his Dad talk with him in advance so that he understands he's not being pushed out but, rather, the youngest three need some room to stretch out. He needs to be assured that he is not losing his home just because he graduated high school.

My 3 kids that are sharing are 16 and 18 year old girls, along with their 9 year old brother. I also have a 7 year old girl and 4 year old boy sharing another room.

I didn't put all my girls together because the bedroom is on another level from mine and I wanted my younger daughter closer to my room at night.

My stepson, 18 cannot share a room with younger kids. It would not be safe. My step daughter, 16, also has her own room at our house. They visit EOWE during the school year and Wednesday to Sunday during the summer.

My teen daughters and sd cannot share either. The sd always complains she gets treated poorly so my bio girls will get in trouble by my husband. Sd also steals from me and my daughters. She was caught but my husband did nothing.

It really is a mess. There is a lot of resentment in my home on all sides.

As you hinted above, these issues go way beyond who is sleeping where. It sounds like your children are crammed while hubby's children each get their own room when they are not even around on a regular basis? Is that correct? Sounds like four bedrooms for the kids, but your five are all crammed into two?

I think you need to have a talk with your husband about how to best resolve this situation and don't back down. It is not good if your SD is stealing from you, and your husband doesn't have your back. A husband and wife should always have each other's back. The fact that it is a step-situation doesn't change that.

This is something I don't understand being from an older generation. In my day, any child, step or not, would always defer to younger children. Nowadays, it seems like older children or even adults expect preferential treatment compared to young ones. Can't for the life of me understand that attitude. The 18-year-old should man-up and have no problem giving up his room to help out the family and his younger step-siblings.

Yes, I have brought up the sleeping arrangement before, but dh insists there aren't any other options since his kids are different genders they can't share.

And I agree, our problems go beyond our bedroom shortage. I can not back down on the situation, but he won't back down either. We are at a stalemate I'm afraid.

It seems like you need a bigger house.

Or separate houses.

We can't afford 6+ bedrooms. Actually we tried the living separate thing for a little over 3 years and that didn't work well either but for different reasons.

So his kids cant share a room because of their gender but yours can?

Well my kids who share are younger so according to SO its okay

Is there anyway to carve out an extra bedroom? Dining room, part of a living room, basement?

I live in a small home and my youngest's room growing up was 12x12. closet. It's was big enough for a dresser, a desk, a single bed and it had a closet.

Your situation seems very unbalanced, and I can see resentment becoming a serious issue. If everyone was cramped that is one thing, but that's not the case here.