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adult stepkids want marriage to end

8 years ago

So... I've been married to my husband for 20 years. The problems with his kids (I don't have any kids) has been from the start. I guess that should have been my first clue but I thought it would get better in time. Years went by, nothing changed. I ignored the bad behavior and just thought it would go away. I talked with my husband about it but he never wanted to hear it. His kids can do NO wrong in his eyes. The "kids" are adults (oldest is 40) and still acting like 12 year olds. We finally had a blow up. I have never stood up to them and I finally did. They invited their father on a trip but excluded me. Husband didn't want to tell me anything about this but I found out anyway. I confronted him with it. He didn't go since I was not invited or wanted on the trip. I confronted the step adults and they spun it back on me. Which I expected but it still STUNG. It's been real ugly around here now for 2 weeks. He said, she said. I did something last night I have never, ever done and ashamed of it. When my husband went to bed, I got his phone and checked his messages. There they were. A ton of messages from one of the step daughters, bashing me like there is no tomorrow. I confronted him with it and of course... I'm the bad guy. No surprise there.

We have not come to any terms at all. I just want to be done with those people. He said they are his kids and he will have contact with them. How can I blame him for that?? But can I deal with how they bash me? I guess what I don't know, won't hurt me. I think maybe a divorce is probably in the best interest. I"m starting to resent him. I don't even want to be in the same room with him right now but i'm full of anger right now too. Not thinking real straight. He told me this morning that I only think of myself and it's always about me. Hmm... well, I guess he told me off didn't he. I know how he feels about me.

Can I afford to live out on my own?? No, not the way things are. I work part time. We have a 5 acre small farm with animals. Everything would need to go. Can I live this separate life with him??? I don't know. I REALLY wish I never married him to begin with. I think the marriage is crumbling - I just don't want to take it seriously yet. He's not happy, he wants to be with his kids, I'm not happy, I want nothing to do with them. They have been evil to me from the start.

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