If you are married, being protected by community property law, you could deposit all your incomes to a joint account, and draw the expenses from it.

But since you are not married, why use 50/50 split unless you each have same income (salary, bonus, overtime pay, income from investments and properties..etc. )? You do need to find a fair ratio for your contribution.

"the total expenses should be split by the number of adults living in the home" sounds good. As in spite of rent/mortgage stays constant, there are wear and tear to the building, infrastructures, equipments and appliances..etc. that need to take care.

It shouldn't be a "sensitive subject", & you won't get anywhere treating it like it is one.

Speak to your partner.

azmom's solution sounds right to me.

If partner wants to foot the bill for his children, he can pay their share.

Otherwise, you're going to be treated like a resource:

used until you're used up & then replaced.

I wish you the very best.

Agree with sylvia's inputs.

May be it is my bad luck, I have seen so many women mess up their finance, especially in relationships/marriages as:

- In general, women only receive 70% of the pay that men receive when they have same job responsibilities.

- Usually, women are more nurturing, putting more value in relationship than men, and they tend to take care of others and short change themselves.

- Women have too much quilt, especially when they get fair or more share.

- I really hate to say this (ladies, don't yell at me). Based on my experience, in general women are less analytical may be because of lacking of training. They easily get confused when working on calculations and algorithms with a little complexity. They tend to focus on details but miss big pictures, so they win battles but lose wars.

- I think this is parents/society's faults. They don't encourage girls to take hard majors such as Science, Engineering, Law, Medicine, Finance..etc. fields. Even my own mother wanted me to be a teacher so that I could have same time off once my children reach school age. I asked her what happened when they grew out of schools - the conversation did not go well.

When in middle school my daughter was very sad as her nick name was "brain". I said to her someday she would be very happy when she makes three times more than these "gorgeoues" and "sweeties". She made 6 figures before her 28th birthday.

- Another factor is men have more mentoring than women. Men are not necessary more smart, but they do receive more coaching from other men.

Guess I am way digress...I wish all the women have clear mind and vision when entering their relationships.

Amen, Sistah!

The bottom line is 1) talk to your partner and 2) have a plan BEFORE they move in. If you're going to give them 2 months all expenses paid, tell them that. Make sure there is an end date, i.e. one year and they get their own place. Make your expectations very clear before they walk through that door, not just about money, but housekeeping, having friends overnight, groceries, etc. I've seen way too many friends move their kids, their kids' friends, grandchildren, etc. back into their homes with no established rules or guidelines and it always ends up being a nightmare. Good luck

Dear Abby or was it ann L once said children 18 and older should contribute

25% of their income to household expenses.

I would be very wary of moving in with a SO who has grown kids. It's a given that they will probably mooch on you both and once they're ensconced in the house, how are you going to get them out?

I think you sound very sensible. I would not want this arrangement. I'd rather live alone. You won't be able to get them out with a stick of dynamite.