I tried finding advice by reading other stories, to no avail, there is no story like mine that I've yet to read. Please HELP! I'm 30 years old, mother of 3 girls ages 7, 9, 11. I am a bit of a strict parent. I have high expectations of my kids (good grades, do chores, be polite, be independent, etc). My kids sometimes refer to me as "the grouch" and "meany" BUT it's all out of love, they all get straight A's, are polite, well mannered kids. Anyways.. I've been with my BF for 3 1/2 years. I left and divorced my husband FOR HIM, he promised to "take care of me and my kids". He has 2 kids boy 7 and girl 9. The first 6 months or so we dated he seen his kids every other weekend, and was perfectly fine with this as it was all about me it seemed. My divorce was final fairly quickly, his drug on for almost 2 years. Because he was still married his attorney advised him to "live with his mom and not the girlfriend" to look better in court if it came to that. He is very much a mamas boy, and I did know this, but BOY did it get worse once he separated from his ex wife. About a year or so into the relationship his mom pressured him into fighting for half custody (she actually wanted full custody but knew it would be a waste of time, praise Jesus that didn't happen) anyways.. because of the fact he 'technically' lived with his mommy, THEY decided 50% was what THEY wanted(she even went to attorney appointments with him like his little wifey), and SHE agreed to help him, even remodeled her house so kids had a bedroom. He got 50% custody (AND still has to pay $300/month child support and agreed to pay insurance for both kids!!!).. fast forward a few months later.. once papers were signed he moved in with me. The 50% was already said and done, I had no say in it, no voice, no opinion, nothing.. I'm supposed to 'just deal with it'. Well I CAN'T. I'm going crazy. His kids have different mannerisms than mine. They don't have chores, no expectations, always play xbox, always needy, up our ass, always 'bored' or hungry, always leave lights on, pout if daddy isn't paying attention to them 24/7, they get bad grades (I swear they are mentally retarded, very dumb, 7 year old can't wipe own ass, 9 year old can't do simple math that my 7 year old can easily (9-7=__). I apologize if my story is all over the place, I just have so many issues. His mom calls EVERY night, texts every day asks how day is how is work love you goodnight.. ok THAT'S MY JOB!! I'm his woman!! This year he has a job that requires him to be out of town a lot. I can't help but to actually enjoy this just for the simple fact that as long as he's not here neither are his kids. BUT.. on the days he's supposed to have them they go to my BF's mommy's. I don't know which would be worse.. me taking them in my home while he's gone or the fact that they go to his mom's like she's his wifey taking care of things for him while out of town. Personally the fkn kids should be at their moms house if the dad is out of town, but noooo, nobody will listen to me. The custody is whack it goes Week 1- Wednesday, Thursday. Week 2- Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday. It's ridiculous and basically feels like full time (before he started working out of town of course and was actually home all the time and they were here on scheduled days). So let's add a little more drama.. I'M PREGNANT! The house we live in is MINE, I got it in MY divorce. My ex husband and I worked hard to get this house for MY kids. But before I got pregnant, I had already taken 2 of y kids and shoved them in the same room just so his kids could have a room together in the house. Well now that I'm pregnant and he's always out of town and his kids haven't been here in like 2 months.. I took their bed out and made it babies room. There's a crib in there diaper table, rocking chair etc. NO space for his kids to have a bed. One night after room was turned into baby room, his kids stayed the night and they slept on 2 mattresses that we laid on the floor in BABIES room. They didn't say anything negative about it.. yet the next day they go to grandmas and all of a sudden she calls BF up and says "How could you break your kids heart like that, how dare you allow your girlfriend to throw them out of their own room for the baby that's not even here yet, you broke their hearts and they are bawling their eyes out". Mind you him and I agreed the mattress thing would due just fine, but now all of a sudden I'm the bad guy and he got into it with me that the mattresses aren't acceptable and they need their own bed and space etc. WTF?!?! This ISN'T their home! My kids (including baby not born yet) live here FULL TIME and I'm tired of already shoving my kids in corners to accommodate these whiny brats whom I don't even want here in the first place. So he's been gone for work for over a month now and is supposed to be home this Wednesday (conveniently on a custody night of his) so I am full of anxiety about this, literally can't sleep. All I can think about is OMG he has't been here in weeks is he gonna bring them the first night he gets back!? It's also supposed to be his weekend this weekend. My kids will be going to their dads, it's supposed to be my kid free weekend (although my ex has been taking them every weekend lately, not in custody but I allow it) mainly because now that BF is out of town so much, I get so overwhelmed with all my responsibilities and NEED that break. My ex is very understanding and works with me so he's just trying to help by giving me a break. So when the hell are me and BF supposed to have US time? When do I get a damn break from kids? I have told him numerous times that the weekend is one thing but that I DO NOT want extra kids here on school nights during week because it puts more stress on me, and also messes up MY KIDS' routine I worked so hard to establish. Just one of many example of this is my kids' bedtime is 8 p.m., TV off at 8:30. MUST go to bathroom around 8 (I accept later as long as it's before TV off time at 8:30 and isn't made a habit). BUT every night his kids are here they both take turns going in and out of bathroom, some nights it'll be 3-4 times each and at like almost 10 at night, and don't shut bathroom light off. One night it was so bad that my oldest came out half asleep and was like "what is going on out here what's all the ruckess?" which led to my other 2 kids coming out "mom why is every still up?" I'm like "omg, everyone needs to lay the **** down now!" So I get angry at my kids even though it's his dumb kids that started it. What makes it worse is when I get mad, BF just makes excuses and exceptions like "well would you rather them pee in the bed?" or "lights on doesn't really make your electric bill higher, I'll just pay the electric bill to shut you up". It's not even about the damn money or the bill, or the life of the light bulb for that matter. It's the simple fact that your kids are worthless and can't do anything even simple tasks such as shutting off lights because everyone does everything for them and has no expectations of them. And it's a rule, don't care how stupid you think my rule is, it's a rule that my kids seem to do just fine with, and if they ever didn't obey the rule they'd get whipped. But no not his kids, I get undermined while they get high fived. Real quick.. wanted to add a few more inconveniences of having extra kids on school nights.. for one, it's harder to plan dinner, we're talking about feeding 7 people as opposed to 5. We don't get food stamps for these 2 kids, pay child support instead of receiving it, so feeding 2 extra mouths puts a strain on us financially and mentally. Also, I take my kids' education VERY seriously so when 5 kids come rolling in the door with homework and 20 questions about this and that, it takes lots of attention away from my kids and their homework because his kids are so dumb they need EXTRA EXTRA attention had on them for homework and basically everything for that matter. After months of retraining my 2 younger kids to not play xbox (because they learned this from his kids), his kids come in and immediately turn on xbox (and my kids aren't allowed) so how is that fair? My kids have chores, his doesn't, and even when he attempts to make them do chores they just stand around like idiots until he comes in and holds their hand for it. By the time all the homework, dinner, and chores are done.. it's time for baths because 8 o clock is coming up fast.. do we have enough towels? I dunno, 7 towels times 2 days in a row, by day 2 uhm no we don't. Oh and now everyone has like 5 minutes to wash their body and hair and hurry the hell out so everyone can get a bath in. My kids (esp my oldest) loves to soak in the bath and relax, not to be rushed, she's in middle school now and kinda does her own thing. She dreads when they are here for many reasons but one mainly being that my BF always rushes her out of the bathroom on behalf of his kids needing a bath. Once TV is off my kids will be passed out and I can hear his kids arguing, kicking, hollering "stop it, MOVE, quit it I'm telling!" sometimes for over an hour!! Ok, sorry this is so long.. I'll leave this at a stopping point and wait for some responses but there is much more, that's just the jist of it.