This should be a warning to parents not to give their kids standard names that they spell differently from the accepted spelling of that name. Most American girls named Karin are going to see Karen a lot of the time, and Alyce is going to get Alice.

Stay away from 'opposite gendered' names: Marion/Marian; Lesley/Leslie.

I recently asked someone I was speaking with by phone for the first time to spell her name, since I wasn't 'getting it'. It's Abcde. Parents! What are you thinking?

Naming a child is a serious matter. The name needs to endure well. It was so serious for my parents -- and they argued over it so long -- that my original birth certificate says Baby Girl (Surname) -- something normally only seen when a child is being surrendered for adoption. After all that, they chose something totally prosaic -- could have been worse!

I have to admit that it does bother me but I only correct the person if it concerns a legal document, etc. I misspelled my neighbor's first name for about ten years before I saw a legal document with the correct spelling. Bless her heart, she never corrected me!

Chisue, I'm with you on the naming. There are so many more "common" names now than there were fifty years ago that it's getting better, but just think of the kids with common sounding names who can't get one of those "license plates" with their names on them, or something similar, because it's spelled Lesly.

OTOH, María de la Luz, Katrinka, TaWanda, Said and Yasushi (not even considering Apple and Dweezil) have just as many issues with unusual names as Lesly, but with a lot of familial and cultural pride behind them. They're names worth having even if it puts them outside the norm. The exception, I think, is when the name sounds wrong in the external culture. I met a teenage, Persian girl named Seeman. Accent on the first syllable. My heart wept for her. Such a lovely girl, but to go to an American public high school with that name? And not to want to disrespect her parents and culture (I assume) by changing it? Is this why she was so shy? How much easier would her life have been if they'd just adopted Susan or even a variant like Sima.

OTOH, when I see Karin, I think it's KAHrin or karEEN, rather than CAREin, and think it's Scandinavian or Hebrew or German, or something. So then, if it's pronounced Karen, I'm wondering if the grandmother was KAHrin so they kept the spelling to honor her... You get too far into this and John and Mary start looking like the odd names. :) I was noticing recently that a bunch of Hebrew names (in Hebrew, rather than their English adaptations) had crossed into another ethnic group and was wondering about the trend. Quite awhile back names like Kevin, Sean and Siobhan crossed from only in Irish families, to the general American population. The experts ascribed this to the popularity of the soap opera Ryan's Hope, which flung Irish names far and wide. I couldn't think of a similar genesis for the Hebrew names. Then I realized that they were the names of women who had been in the news at the time the names would have been given.

Agree, my name was usually mispelled until someone with my name became famous. Now when someone makes the error It says, "they don't really know me."

Unfortunately on GW, when replying on ipad I cannot see posts above my draft and I make more errors than I do on a standard keyboard. So as much as I try, I am sure I get some wrong, LindsEy_CA. SORRY!

DH and I both have unisex three letter names. Mine is a shortened version of my full given name which is definitively female, but the shortened version while still predominantly female, is unisex enough that I've known several men with the same name -- I even had a few dates with one in college. DH's given name, a family name, is predominately a female name. Other than his family, I have never met a man with his name, although there are a few historical males with the same name, but usually as a middle name. Misspelling isn't a problem, but confusion with new acquaintances often results. Even good friends have called us by the other's name occassionaly (kind of like a mother roll calling their kid's names until finally landing on the correct one). We just laugh it off, or with new acquaintances try to put them at ease. The funniest was when a friend, after a few drinks and referring to us as a couple, reversed the first letter of our names and came out with a hilarious combo -- one that some of our friends still use in jest.

DH's name does come in handy in fending off telephone solicitations when it is obvious that the caller believes HE is a SHE.

But why on earth would anyone within this forum of friends want to play that sort of game, Lindsey? If you can't come up with a compelling reason, then you should really consider that it was a simple mistake. Jasdip almost always capitalizes the winner's name, by the way. Did you think that she was singling you out and misspelling your name for some reason?

If the perpetrator is someone within your personal circle, then that person knows which buttons to push. Since it offends you so much, perhaps you should have a little face to face with that person and call them out. Though ignoring those silly games is usually the best recourse.

After reading your posts Lindsey, I would like to think that you are just having a bad day or week even. If that's the case I'm sorry and I hope it gets better. As such, I'm going to hope that you don't really mean to say that people here would be so purposefully malicious as to misspell your name (when read out loud, do you see how silly that sounds?)

We're all friends here and have been for years. Even when we're in heated debates, people are still respectful and mean no harm. So I'm hoping a bad time of it is the reason because I find your justification for a vent that seems silly afterwards a bit ridiculous.

The comments above of today's unusual spellings or names given to children made me remember...

A friend who was the daughter of Latvian immigrant parents was considering naming her daughter with a combination of the first two letters of her own given first and middle names. Her matriarch of the family mother said, if you call that baby by that made up name, I will not help you with her or babysit!

The suggestion was well taken, Grandmother respected, and the baby girl was given a proud Latvian normal first name. Grandmother did a lot of babysitting and was an enormous help to the new Mom ;)

I happen to like uncommon names. My parents gave me a boring common first name, and a middle name I loath. Seriously I would have much preferred Gyr. That ship of name-change opportunity sailed long ago though, and I have regretted allowing myself to be swayed into not changing it ever since.

morz8's tale is one reason it is wise not to divulge the name chosen for your child until after the fact. What a horrible power play on the part of the grandmother; wish the parents would have been adult enough to stand up for the name they chose.

Our first child had an uncommon name--until it became more used about 15 years after he was born. Our second has a more common name with a slightly different spelling and pronunciation ('ar instead of 'or ending). I has never been a problem and he likes that it is different.

Oh, and good news plllog! Those license plates, as well as many other personalized items, can be easily ordered with whatever spelling is desired--within the space limitations, of course.

Giving a child a name that is odd or potentially confusing or difficult in sound or spelling is a head scratcher for me. But using what I may think is bad judgement in this regard doesn't end with that with many parents, so maybe it's a predictor of future episodes of poor parental judgement. Just my view.

Other than the birth itself, the first thing a parent gives a child is a name. Had I been the recipient of a family member's threat concerning a name, I would have thanked them for expressing their view and then told them politely to mind their own business. Or, not politely, as the situation demanded. My own kids have what I think are nice and not boring names. Each name when spoken is impossible to misunderstand or misspell. That was one criterion we used in choosing them. Otherwise, to each his own.

Gyr_falcon, that's true, about the personalized stuff being orderable. I think that's actually been true all along. It lacks immediacy, though. The little trinket that can provide a lot of amusement just because the kid's own name is on it, and brighten up a tiring trip. Mouse ears used to be the great joy of little kids, not so much because of a pressing need to look like Mickey and Minnie, but because the embroidery machine was at the point of sale and the kid's own name, properly spelled, was put on right then and there.

You've made me think, though. I think if your kid has a name that isn't going to be on the standard display, it might be wise to get a number of personalized trinkets and stash them for use when the disappointed face finds that there's a Kelly, a Kyle, and a Kayla, but not a Kellie or Kylie. Perfect time, upon exiting the store, to whip out the license plate or keychain in its plain wrapper, and say, "I was thinking of you when I found this." Happy kid. Happy parent. Delight saved. :)

My dtr's name is Ann. Three simple letters, a common name. You have no idea how often and how many ways it is misspelled.

I routinely spell my last name when I give it - it is spelled differently than it sounds. Pronunciation is another story.

Naming a child can be very complicated. I think that if a couple wants to name their child something unusual, it's best to keep the name to themselves. After the initial shock, most friends and family, after meeting the baby are more accepting.

My two daughter have names that end in "anie". I have a friend who has al three children with J names and all are one syllable. Some give their children their maiden names as a first name.

To me, all of these things are fine. I just don't agree with the long made up names. I can't imagine a child growing up and always having to explain and correct the spelling of his/her name.

I had to do that with my maiden name, and it got really tiring after a while.

gyr, just to clarify, that is a loving close family. And I think Grandmother was not making a power play, she was a simple hardworking loving woman who spoke honestly with her children and was not afraid to tell them when they offended her, trusting they loved her as much as she loved them.

The baby's legal name as initially considered would have been DeRo. It is not a name. Not even for a pet. I'm sure her daughter was happy later that Grandma intervened and they were closely bonded until the day she passed about 5 years ago. If you had said 'power play' to her she wouldn't have understood what you meant.

And I should add that's my fault in putting in little snippets that flip into my mind here when it's people you can't know anything about, I'm painting such a minute picture of complicated lives.

Agreed morz8, it is not possible to get a full impression of someone with the lack of content of a forum post. I think I would side with Grandma about DeRo. ;-)

I could care less how my name on an Internet forum is spelled. Sephia or sefia. It's not my real name anyway so I don't care. My real name can only be spelled one of two ways, and the one spelling isn't the common way of spelling it. My last name is occasionally mispelled, but I've just learned to spell it out when telling someone. The real people in my life know how to spell it. There's too many other things in the world to get miffed over. The spelling of my name isn't one of them.

My mother named me after my father giving me a diminutive of his name (I'm female, but the diminutive is still definitely male). My brother was also named after our father as a Junior. I married a man with the same first name as my father. My father-in-law's name was the same as my father's. My husband's sister and my sister had the same first name, although my sister's name was spelled differently because her name was an amalgam of my father's first and middle names. My son and my brother's wife's names are the same. In my family, spelling doesn't count; it's all about who's who.

I know someone who named her son after her grandfather....James. Nice. Oh, but no. She spelled it Jayms. Now how in hell is anyone going to know what that is supposed to be? I think it was a mean thing to do to a baby and a ridiculous thing for a grown man.

An unusual name that I just remembered from years ago was just initials. MJ! Not sure how she actually spelled it. The discussion was about how she regretted it, but went along with her ex.

I think if you want the odd ball, unique, one of a kind unusual name, then give it as a middle name.

I have a friend who gave her daughter her maiden name for a middle name. Her daughter liked it so much she in turn gave it as a middle name to her own daughter. I don't think it would fly as a first name.

Was the ex a Michael Jordan fan?

Well my full first name is Kathleen. I have been called Kathy all my life. I have had my name spelled with a C and a K. I've had it ended with a y, an i, an ie, ey. It's crazy. Now I just say Kathy with a K. If they don't get the y right I'll tell them but I'm not offended in the least.

I think if you want a really far out name....get a pet....a dog or a cat.

I have a friend who was so thrilled and in love with her baby boy that she named him Pauley. That's his legal name. He is now about 35 years old, married, very handsome and masculine. Too bad about his name . . . . .

I was recently going through old photos and found one from my first birthday party. My mother made the cake and spelled my name wrong. I showed her the pic and she was horrified. I thought it was hilarious and now we joke about it.

Littlebug, if he doesn't trot out the story, people will just assume it's a surname from the family. That's where spelling can help!

I keep a master list of all the kids' names and birthdays. By all, I mean the ones we give presents to. I've done my best to make sure their names are spelled right. "Grace" is easy. :) But there's one or two L's here, f or ph or v there, apostrophe or not for the third (yes, one of them is spelled with an apostrophe in the middle, which is pronounced, though other people with the same name don't bother with it). One of the adults has a first name hyphen (boring?) and another has a diëresis. Oy. Interesting names can be interesting. These are all traditional, culturally relevant names. The ones I feel bad for are the celebrities' kids. It's really really hard to be the kid of a celebrity even if the parents aren't narcissistic whackjobs. How much worse to also be named after a household object, random poetic words, or some other non-name thing.

OTOH, when Splash came out, everybody thought "Madison" was a really weird first name, especially for a girl. That's the whole point of the scene where she names herself after the street sign. Thirty years later, and because of the movie, it's a fairly common girls' name. :)

True. But I can't help but think he's gotten a lot of - "your name is Polly? You don't sound like a Polly," on the phone. LOL

Hubby's specialist's first name is Bobby. His real name, not a nickname. It's obviously a popular name in his country of origin.

I misspelled my own name on my wedding invitations. I started my middle name with a K instead of a C. I know how to spell my own name, know what my initials are so how did I do it? The only thing I can think of was nerves. I'm still made at myself (JK, lol)

My name gets spelled wrong all the time. It doesn't bother me. I never thought it was that hard to spell Charlotte.

Littlebug, I didn't think of the "Polly" angle. Yeah, I can see how that, on the phone especially, could be irksome.

I also just realized that we say Polly and Pauley differently! It's not enough that everyone would catch it. More like the East Coast Mary, marry, merry differences. I say Polly with an "ah" (like in the word pot) sound, and Pauley with an "aw" (like the word paw) sound.

I have a daughter named Caroline but when she was born 37 years ago I agreed to call her Carrie because my husband wasn't crazy about the name Caroline but liked Carrie. She went by Carrie until college when she had to do some intership work that she felt required a "real" name and has been Caroline (except by me and her sisters) every since. She is married and her husband and his family and her employers all know her as Caroline. Recently at a social event I needed to talk to her and asked a close friend of hers if she knew where Carrie was. She had no idea who I was talking about!

My sisters name is Katherine, my mom called her "Kitty". :0) Everyone thinks she named herself THAT because she likes cats. I remember the bank wouldn't cash her check because that wasn't her name. I remember her dating a guy with twin 6 year old boys. They called her Kitten. Children say the darndest things....

NO, as there are so many different spellings out there now and my name can be with a C or K and I have told people its not with a C but a K, no biggie. My last name can be spelled different too especially with different nationalities and how they spell and say it. I got called when went to school by a teacher that called me by last name as it can be first name too and suddenly at the end of the year kids started laughing and he's like what? They told him he's been calling me by last name, he said to me why didn't you tell me that? I said it happens and its a nice last name to be called by and could be first name too. Don't embarrass them, you can make mistakes too. kathy

Whether my name is written in full caps, all lower case, or with the just first letter capitalized isn't what bothers me, so I don't know why so many folks have singled out jasdip's use of full caps in the daily trivia threads.

I am amazed, however, at how many folks here don't care if other people misspell or mispronounce their names, or even use a totally incorrect name. Why are people so afraid to correct someone when they're wrong? Could be why every kid who is on a sports team gets a trophy -- so no one gets their feelings hurt.

Lindsey, I don't really have a horse in this race since I'm one of those indifferent, but I'm wondering why you include people 'not caring', not being offended, if their names are occasionally misspelled, with a statement they are afraid to point out the correction. Can they not really care, having nothing to do with fear in any way?

"Why are people so afraid to correct someone when they're wrong?"

This sentiment may describe others, it most certainly doesn't describe me. I'm the guy who always mentions things or speaks up if I think my point is important enough to express.

I think what many (me included) have suggested is that a name misspelling or mispronunciation is a small matter that they don't care about. You seem to feel otherwise, that's fine.

I'm another one that's not "afraid" to correct someone. I just think that in the grand scheme of things, the correct spelling of my name, especially in a casual setting, is the least of my worries.

I'm not afraid, it just doesn't matter to me, unless it is a legal document. And the older I get, the less I sweat the small stuff that doesn't matter, and the happier I am. Maybe that's what people mean when they talk about the wisdom of older folks.

I'm with Snidely, if it is important, I'll stand up for myself and others; but to me, a misspelling of my name isn't important, and a lot of little stuff that goes on that some others might get aggravated about isn't important enough to me, to get me aggravated.

"Could be why every kid who is on a sports team gets a trophy -- so no one gets their feelings hurt."

Involving children is playing dirty pool. But I'm just not buying into any attempt to escalate all of this. The fact that I don't care if others misspell my name doesn't mean I contribute in any way to changing sports for kids as we know it.

The only thing I've gotten out of all this……..I thought it was pillog not plllog. Sorry, "p" my eyes are OLD!

"Why are people so afraid to correct someone when they're wrong?"

Maybe you are, too? After all, you could have posted on the trivia thread, "hey, jasdip, you got my name wrong!" Or sent her a private message. Instead you took the passive aggressive route and posted a somewhat vague/not vague rant about spelling names incorrectly.

It really is the polite thing to do but sometimes mistakes happen. When they do, it's also polite to point out the error in a nice way and move along. There's nothing wrong with correcting someone when an error is made. Mistakes on formal or legal documents (employment documents, travel arrangements etc) should immediately be pointed out and corrected; they can have serious consequences.

Your OP doesn't indicate if the error was made on a formal invitation or in a casual conversation or maybe even on a forum, such as this one. I think the error may be more of an "issue" if it was a formal invitation but even then, it's not earth shattering. Just chalk it up to a mistake and move right along.

If you find yourself stressed out over it, I suggest yoga or meditation. Misspelling (or mispronouncing) one's name is certainly not so important as to spend any time stressing about it, which you obviously are since you posted this topic. Like others on this thread, my name is mispronounced and misspelled all the time. It's really not a big deal unless you make it one.

Georgysmom, think nothing of it! There's also reasoning behind it, like if it were a real word there'd be a vowel--your brain just decides it must be seeing an i. I used my screen name in my explanation of how you can determine carelessness, up topic, because I happen to be blessed with a hard to mangle name IRL.

As to correcting people online, I do trot out the all caps every so often, to put the information out there, but it would be really annoying if I corrected everyone every time. I'm sure it must be the same in real life. If someone's writing down your name, it makes sense to spell it out. I do sometimes, with my hard to mangle name. If you're being introduced, and you want to give the person a chance to spell your name right in the future, it makes sense to just come out with, "I'm Suzy -- s-u-z-y" or "Kathy with a K". If the person has a hard time pronouncing your name, it makes sense to spell it if it'll help, or give a sounds alike, or both. "Danilo, d-a-n-i-l-o, rhymes with Barry Manilow." It makes me laugh when people try to correct Brett Favre to Brett Fave - ruh. The man should know how to pronounce his own name, even though, obviously, his family's way of saying it parted company with the spelling some time back.

The issue comes if it doesn't take. I wouldn't interrupt a conversation if someone came and joined in and mispronounced my name, and I wouldn't send back a letter with corrections if it were misspelled. Perhaps that's my hard to mangle name talking, however. I have studied names and naming, and find them very interesting, but I'm not good at remembering them, and terrible at spelling in general, which puts me on the opposite side of the issue. I'll just come right out and say, "Please forgive me, but I've already forgotten your name. Please tell me again?" Or, "Will you please spell it for me?" In my experience, people understand and would rather be asked than dismissed as old whatshername. I think they're glad that one cares to know.

My fathers name is August.....when people ask him how to spell, he answers: Just like September!

Goodness. How quickly people assume things. Nowhere did I say that it was jasdip who misspelled my name (although she usually does); nowhere did I say that it was the Daily Trivia thread in which my name gets misspelled; and nowhere did I say that the misspelling was even happening at the Kitchen Table.

Oh good Lindsey....so this was all for naught, eh? Good, now we can get down to some more serious business. HeeHaw

81 comments ... prior to this one ... wow!

I must confess to having messed around with people's names, more so earlier than recently. It was meant purely in fun ... and I hope that the owners' feelings weren't hurt in the process.

If it troubled any of you, I offer my sincere apology.

My mom's name was "Minnie Kathleen" and wife's mom's name included "Marie" ... and I don't remember the other one - memory heavily deteriorated. We wanted to name daughter after grandmothers, and figured that "Minnie" was quite old fashioned, and "Kathleen" enough so that we decided to amend it to "Kathryn", and the other was "Marie". Edited: I think that mom-in-law's name was Ida Marie.

Kathleen44 ... referring to numbers: my mom died in '42 ... at 39.

ole joyful

I am more likely to correct someone incorrectly using anothers name. My boss has a hyphenated name and people often reverse the names. It is a professional circumstance so the name needs to be correct...

It's not a question of being afraid to correct a misspelled name or a mixed up name, but there are polite ways to correct and impolite ways of correcting an honest mistake. For instance when new acquaintances mix up my name with my DH's name, we just correct them and say with a smile "don't worry it happens all the time", then usually tell the story about the friend who knew us well switching the first letters and the hilarious result. That makes the correction, without making anyone feel bad and puts everyone at ease. We certainly don't correct them followed by a comment that it offends us when people confuse our names. Not only would that be untrue, worse, even if it were true, it would be impolite.