I'm reminded of the recent thread that had to do with shopping being a form of entertainment for many, where I made a comment about someone I know whose closets are crammed full of things she's never even worn once. I am convicted about the plank in my eye, and the speck in hers.

You are so right auntjen. Although we aren't planning a move any time soon, I have been trying to rid myself of unneeded things. Unfortunately I haven't made near enough progress. Good luck with the move.

Put away the lash, Jen! Moving is an opportunity to have our eyes opened - it happened to me, too. As you unpack, you may have more moments of 'why on earth did I keep this?' whether it's clothing or household items so into a donation box it can go. As the world has become a smaller place and we are more aware of how others live or struggle, we may look at our own abundance in a different way. That's the lesson. Becoming and staying more mindful as we go forward is the challenge.

I think most of us have that experience when moving. My advice is try not to get upset with yourself. Pare down what you can as you can. And try to remember this moment going forward.

Dh and I have started trying to implement the "rule" that for each new thing that comes in a certain number of old things must go out. For the kids with their way too many stuffed animals (mostly gifts from others), every new stuffed animal means two must leave. For jeans for me, it's a one for one because I do actually wear my jeans and I only buy new when an old pair is worn out or doesn't fit. Dh recently bought a new pair of shoes and took the opportunity to get rid of six (!) pairs that were worn out or hurt his feet. And so on. This encourages us to think before buying and to get rid of things on a more regular basis. It's a work in progress--but what isn't?

I went through some of that when we moved. I looked at all the stuff and couldn't imagine what I had been thinking. Good on your that you gave so much away. I still get stuck and can't bear to part with things like closed high heel pumps from the '80s and '90s which no longer fit, don't sell but are still too "good" to give away. Thanks for the push -- you have the right idea for sure. Less is more!

Well, we're (USA) not a nation of small appetites. Trying to get Americans to "go small" on anything is like pulling teeth.

Stage of life for sure. I remember going through so much stuff when Mom first moved out of their home for 60 yrs and then after she died and I had her house and condo to take care of. It made me far more mindful of every thing I bought knowing that at some point, just as with her, that thing that you just had to have would fill the Goodwill or the land fill. I find that, over time, that memory fades and the accumulation begins again, but hopefully never to the same point. And hopefully that the parting with things that no longer serve gets easier.

After the fire/flood we went for 2 or 3 weeks with only about 10 pieces of clothing each (that included bras and panties, too!). It was totally freeing. When we got more of our stuff back from the cleaners, I felt so weighed down. I swore I was going to dump all the excess in the trash - but when I went through it, I had a very hard time getting rid of much. We still have only about 1/2 of what we had before, but it feels like too much and I have to admit to continuing to shop even though I don't want more stuff. I am more judicious when I shop now and watch for key pieces that I know will get continual use.

For the first time in my life I have had the luxury of having the entire summer off, and have used that time to clean out, donate and sell the excess baggage we have collected over the years. The book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up has had a significant impact on getting my butt in gear. I have done very little shopping, which is most unusual for me. I tell our friends that we are on a 5 year plan to move. Not true, but it's a good mindset to have!

It's so easy to wind up with more than we need. New things come in the home which leave the older things unused. We moved so often in the first nine years of our marriage, purging each time so as not to have to move them across country, that I we didn't have much when we moved into our last home. We lived there over 14 years and though I had a great system to keep things in order, I was surprised by how much of what we had and used there, wasn't needed at our new home. Our basement was full of color coded containers of stuff. Stuff we didn't need any longer. It's surprising how that can happen when you live in one place for awhile.
The move is a wake up call telling you, just because you have the space, doesn't mean you shouldn't schedule times to rid yourself of things no longer used or needed. Especially clothing since that seems to accumulate more than anything else.

It's truly amazing what we don't need!

I try to clean one closet every year. For me that's a realistic expectation. I keep a "donation" bag or two in the walk-closet where we keep off season clothing and various other items.

I've been doing the same thing, Jen - the entire house. I've donated a lot to a local charity thrift store. Tried selling a few things on local Facebook trading pages, but it's just too much trouble... and sometimes you drive to meet someone and they don't buy. One of our tenants is an antique store and he has let us take several things there on consignment.

DD1 moved back from CA and is living with us, so I packed up that bedroom so she could use her things instead. I don't want to get rid of it (yet), but one guest room closet is full (sofa standing on end, among other things). Add to that another guest room double door closet is full (top to bottom) with boy clothes (DD2) and girl clothes (DS). I've even taken larger things (two high chairs) to my sister's basement. If we move some of this stuff is going to DS new house and the thrift store. Or DD2 can sell on trading pages.

We are thinking about moving - DH and I would both like another project - so I wanted to start sorting through things in case. Problem is, DD1 won't go through some of her containers and DH hasn't yet started his things, although I did get him to start on the lower garage that is used for yard, work and lake things. I honestly cannot take all this stuff in storage anymore. We have two rooms downstairs, basically unfinished but with HVAC and a large under the stairs closet in addition to the ones I've mentioned above. Full. :-/

Bonnieann, I generally read books like that in January, that is when the bug strikes me to get everything back in order. I put a hold on it at the library and I am 195 and there are 37 copies. It may be close to January before I get it.

Auntjen, I agree, it is embarrassing. Even when one thinks they do not have much, there is still so much there. One thing it has done to me is made me a more mindful shopper, even if it means paying more money to get fewer things. I like Fiestaware. I want to be able to set me table with different combinations. Generally, the place setting is the best deal but I have to realize it is the plates I am most interested in (and some specialty bowls). There are only so many tea cups and coffee mugs one household needs. That means I am going to have to spend more money to get what I want. I am also beginning to approach appliances the same way. Even when the cost of repairing things seems to great relative to the cost of new, I am trying to choose to pay for the labor (investing in people) and the parts rather than opting for new. Granted, this gets harder as I really am sick of my side-by-side refrigerator. Where it gets really bad in my house is kids clothes. Of my 4 children, 3 are boys. We have quite a few clothes through hand me downs and those are in good condition. Yet, certain family members think it is a travesty if the kids do not get their "own" clothes. They do get their own shoes (as dress shoes are the only things handed down as they are the only ones that make it), but honestly 2 of the boys could care less and the other one has plenty of options in clothes that he likes. Yet, someone will go shopping and say hey, it was on clearance for $3, I had to get it. The only redeeming factor in that is knowing a family with younger boys than mine who really do love the clothes.

Where I also struggle is gift giving. I like to give gifts. I want to be generous. To be honest though, there is a question of whether or not a gift is truly adding to the recipient's life as they also have soooo much. A definite conundrum.

We, well I mean me, got rid of a lot of stuff when we downsized into this house this spring. If it was up to DH he would keep everything because someday we might need it. There was no way we could use all the stuff we had from our previous house. It actually made me feel anxious and nervous knowing I had boxes of stuff downstairs in the spare room, things I know I would never use again. I donated almost everything, it was a good feeling to know someone else would benefit and gave me a sense of freedom, for lack of a better word, for some reason.

Yes ... a sense of freedom. Conversely, a sense of being weighed down by knowing we have just too darn much of everything. Thank you all for your thoughts. You understand exactly what I'm talking about, and it does help me to know that others struggle - but effectively deal - with this issue.

Right there with you! I spent a couple hours this afternoon trying to organize (once again) our MBR walk-in closet. I need to purge in a drastic way! But, although I'm definitely not a hoarder, I see tendencies to hold on to stuff because of the old "What if . . . .?"

My sister and her DH in Atlanta have been empty-nesters for several years and have just moved and downsized in a major way. The bags of things she donated and threw out, the huge amount of furniture she gave away makes me shudder! She tells me that, afterwards, it was very freeing and gave her a big sense of relief.

I look around here and think, "Yes, I could part with a lot of the extras." I have paintings stacked behind doors that I'll never hang up again, but they're worth so much money that I hate to just donate them. I have beautiful holiday decorations for every holiday. Huge boxes of them just for Christmas alone . . . and I would love to give two-thirds (or more) of them to my kids. Today! But, neither is set up for that kind of glut at this time in their lives. I have 12 or 13 sets of dishes. How many dishes do two people need?!? For me, maybe 5 (LOL).

DS lives across the country in Georgia now. I wish they'd drive here and take a trailer full of stuff back with them. DD is starting her senior year at college in Oklahoma. Next year she'll most likely need lots of things for her new place wherever she goes to grad school. And so, I'm hanging onto things she will most likely need. But . . . I do need to start purging! You've lit a fire under me, Jen. We need to start an offshoot of this forum called Purging & Organizing. If I head there every day, it might keep me focused and get this entire place done sooner than later!

I look around here and think, "Yes, I could part with a lot of the
extras." I have paintings stacked behind doors that I'll never hang up
again, but they're worth so much money that I hate to just donate them.
I have beautiful holiday decorations for every holiday. Huge boxes of
them just for Christmas alone . . . and I would love to give
two-thirds (or more) of them to my kids. Today! But, neither is set up
for that kind of glut at this time in their lives. I have 12 or 13 sets
of dishes. How many dishes do two people need?!? For me, maybe 5
(LOL).

Those paintings are behind a door for a reason. They're either not your taste anymore or you don't have room for them. Get rid of 'em. Put them in a consignment shop if you want some money, but don't hold on to them for that reason alone. I got rid of some of mine and didn't look back.

Holiday decorations ... even if your kids had room for them would they fit their personal style? More than likely not. I have a few Christmas decorations that were my mom's, but I had no desire for most of her stuff.

12 or 13 sets of dishes and you only need 5 ... get rid of the rest.

Holiday decorations ... oh my gosh! Today I cleared out two closets and put a ton of Christmas décor - including a pre-lit tree and garlands - at the curb. (This is a major curb-shopping neighborhood!) Within a half hour, a man pulled up in a red truck and loaded every last bit of it up.

I kid you not: He looked just like Santa.

:-D

Jen, we're reorganizing & purging too. Our family room is being remodeled this summer, so all the FR stuff is strewn about the house right now. The house feels cramped, cluttered, & disorganized as a result. It's a good opportunity to really pare down & rethink our needs vs. wants.

What was gnawing at me today as we installed a closet organizer & reorganized three bedroom closets: it's getting physically and mentally harder to micromanage stuff as I get older. I don't think I've got the mental chops that I had 5 years ago. Detailed thinking is harder, as is decision making, and the short term memory isn't what it used to be. It's harder to remember where stuff is. And physically, I'm getting a little stiff & achy and my endurance isn't as good.

If I'm noticing now, at age 60, that housekeeping/fine tuning is more difficult, what will my capacity be like in another five years? Or ten years? And if anything should happen to my husband, how on earth could I downsize & reorganize on my own should I decide to move?

I think of my elderly parents living in a house chock full of stuff that they can no longer purge, organize, or clean. It's going to be a huge, sad job to get rid of it when they pass away. Compare that to my father-in-law who pared down to the bare bones while he was able and had his paperwork winnowed down too. I'm grateful that he made things so easy for the surviving family members.

So, no, not so much shame of being too materialistic. It's more like a creeping fear of what lies ahead. Anybody else thinking about this too?

Yes, awm03. Oh, yes.

I turned 53 today. That's not "old", right? Well, I got out of bed this morning and I don't think there was a part of my body that didn't ACHE from all of the heavy-lifting activities of yesterday. I can't deny that I'm starting to FEEL it. It's harder to get down on the floor than it used to be. Certainly harder to get UP from the floor. Last week when DH and I picked up chairs from a Craigslist seller, we were frantically trying to fit them both into his vehicle (a mid-sized SUV) and I had to scramble around in the back and up top to assist. There were several moments when I feared I was going to lose my footing, or just not quite be able to make the physical movements that would have been nothing to me a mere 10 to 15 years ago.

My parents are in their mid-70s. The thought of losing them and having to sort through their things, much of which, while THEIRS, remains highly sentimental to ME - is enough to make me just want to crawl into bed and forget about the world and how it's turning. I don't want to think about what lies ahead. I truly, truly don't want to.

Oh! Happy Birthday! You're the fourth person I know who has an August 9th birthday :)

There is an Organizing the Home forum. I've posted there in the past but haven't been there in awhile. Yes, it did migrate with the Houzz move.

hs.gardenweb.com/forums/organ

Happy birthday, AuntJen. I have a nephew who's birthday is today, too.

Happy Birthday, Jen! Our great-nephew turns one today, and his parents recently learned that they are (very unexpectedly and totally NOT planned) expecting twins in 4 1/2 months = Kiddos 4&5). He's an adorable boy, though. This must be the birthday for very good looking people to be born. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Jen! 53 is the new 33. I have a couple of closets of conservative work clothes that I've been saving for a decade, at least. My thoughts were that they'd be appropriate again, at about age 60. Well, I just turned 60 (the new 40) & they still look too conservative. I pared it down considerably, to what I might wear at 70. After reading this post, I think I'll do a little more purging.

Happy Birthday! This hits home as I helped my dad clear out tons of my mom's "stuff" after she passed away. Yes, I believe she went though a bit of a crisis after her chicks had left the nest and my brother had a life-threatening brain injury. Shopping was her therapy, and my dad rarely said a word. Add to her personal items, she was one to try many "hobbies", or even things where she made money. I think she finally found her niche with a couple of antique booths, but when she passed away she had quite an inventory in storage. Fast track to now and I have made the decision to rent my grandmother's house. A (cram packed) two story house with attic and garage, along with an outdoor storage building. SIGH. Never do I want to personally be in this position.

To those of you that have things you think are too good for donating, consider donating to Habitat for Humanity or such places that have stores and will sell items and put the $$$ to good use.

Another good place to make donations is your local Assistance League chapter. Many have Thrift Stores that are used to raise funds to be used in your local communities. My local chapter uses funds from their Thrift Store to provide Music and Arts programs to the local public schools, who no longer have budgets for those activities. Run by all volunteers, so 100% of money raised goes towards the programs they support. High value items are researched and priced accordingly, with some specialty items even listed on ebay for maximum exposure. Donations are tax deductible and receipts given. Thrift store locations are listed on the website by state.

https://www.assistanceleague.org/index.cfm

Something that may help: you can find out which charities will pick up in your area, and call them to schedule a REGULAR PICKUP. It's a lot easier if you can just put it all in a designated spot and have someone else come get it.

Belated happy birthday wishes!

I don't know if you are increasing your square footage or more storage space, but beware - the more space the more easily it is to accumulate stuff. In our old house that was 1400 sf, I had two junk drawers. Our current house is 3600 sf and I have six junk drawers! We plan on selling in the spring and down sizing significantly and I'm a little overwhelmed with this junk! I have a goal of opening a drawer and getting rid of something everyday.

I sort out the items and the best of the best I try to sell myself. After that, the next best goes to a thrift shop that funds shelters for mothers and children escaping domestic violence. All the rest goes to a thrift shop that sell things reasonably so most people can afford it. I remember seeing a local church thrift store truck at the dump tossing out undamaged things I know would have sold at the reasonably priced thrift. Instead of dumping items, they have a big markdown every weekend so most things go home with someone. Somebody really needs your extra jeans, etc. so don't feel afraid to purge. Feel good about sharing and helping people who benefit from the sale of your things.

Hey Jen, Happy Birthday to you! As for 'stuff' do I hear ya!! When I moved to Tx 7 years ago, I thought I got rid of all that 'good', but useless, unused stuff, but over the last 4 months, have had a donation pick up by a local charity, and i'm not done! Most were household things which I could probably have sold, but it wasn't worth the effort to me. There were a few bags of clothes, shoes, purses, etc., but most of my 'hoard' were things household related. I've already started a 'pile' for this month, and hopefully it's the last.

Now, as for getting control of this 'issue', i've become somewhat of a hermit, only going shopping when it's out of necessity, like groceries, an upcoming vacation, birthday/occasion gift. As my best friend said to me about a year ago, "every time I go out of the house, I spend at least $100!' That was my wake up call! When I do go out, I always keep that in mind, and I gotta tell you, my spending has decreased by quite a bit. There are times I just have to get OUT, but I have the self control to simply look and appreciate w/o coming home with a single bag, and it feels good!

I do have to say I always bought quite a bit for my grands, and it appeased my shopping 'habit', but i've even reigned that in, keeping what I may have bought for Christmas or the next birthday..

As for the house. I've been doing a lot of switching things around from room to room, and it doesn't cost a dime. ;)

I agree with Patty-my best strategy for avoiding clutter is to stay away from places that encourage me to add to it :). This summer my daughter, who recently moved out and has been setting up her first place, became enthralled with HomeGoods/Marshalls...and she sucked me right in with her LOL. I hadn't been in one of those stores for probably more than a decade but man, every single time we wandered in for something, I came home with unplanned purchases. We both concur that it's a Good Thing our jobs crank up next week; I have my university orientation then fall term and she's a HS teacher who starts her curriculum prep then school a week later.

I can really understand better those posts from people with free time who are habitual home store shoppers and get overwhelmed with clutter...it's so darn easy when there is so much random stuff out there to bring home!

Sorry, I missed your birthday Jen. I hope it was a great one!

Patty, I'm the same way. Unless we completely our out of something we absolutely have to have, I stay home. Even then, I'll have our son pick things up for me when he goes to avoid going shopping. Shopping, just to shop, has become boring to me.