Repainting is easy so I let me kids pick out their own paint colors for their rooms and bathrooms, even if it's not what I would have picked. DS was nine when we did our reno and changed around his room. (He picked a pretty cool color brown/gold color, but I would have let him do whatever. DD picked very pink.) Here's a picture of our 'red room' which I had painted looong ago; it's the guest room in our basement. Yes, it's very red, but with furnishings etc the impact is lessened. Here's a shot of part of the kitchen, a BM color called 'Baked Clay'; has more orange and brown than a pure red (you can see it looks different in different light; the real color is somewhere between the two; ignore the weird reflections in 2nd pic): You mentioned he likes the Ravens; DS is a sports fan too and one of the cool things we got him is a 'ball claw' to hang a signed football (it's between the Bulls and Bears pennants.)

My 9 year old stepdaughter doesn't refuse to DO her homework, but she has been 'forgetting' it or has flat out lied to me & said she didn't have any, when she hid it in her desk. So, in that way... she's not doing her homework. When I asked her why she lied (and I think the forgetting was also a lie & that she just left it in her desk so she didn't have to do it), she told me she didn't want to do it. So, I told her that I don't want to do some of the fun things she enjoys (like baking, helping me with dinner or most recently, carving pumpkins) if she isn't going to do the things we want her to do. It has only been a week and she's been caught in a few lies already... again. I personally think it works better to give it less attention or no attention and shrug your shoulders and say, "I guess you'd rather not watch tv with us, since you don't have your homework done." My husband used to spend half his evening frustrated beyond belief because SD would guess at the answers or write down the wrong answer that made absolutely no sense & DH would erase it, try to explain it & end up yelling at her out of frustration. One evening, he was running around, angry/frustrated looking for another eraser. He was all worked up and SD was calmly sitting on the edge of her bed, humming to herself. I grabbed DH aside & pointed out... if she isn't stressed out or upset over her work not being done, why are YOU? I walked into the room & told SD that daddy is NOT helping you with your work. When it's done correctly, the two of you can sit and play a game or watch TV until bedtime, but if you screw around until bedtime, you will take it back to school unfinished & I will call your teacher & tell her why it's not done. There were a couple of days that she took her homework back to school not done & I talked to the teacher. Her teacher said that it's explained in class & she should not need help, she should know what to do. She then lost her recess and did the work in class. After that, she would get it done correctly the first time.. sometimes with minor corrections, but she'd get it done & want to spend time with dad. While in counseling, she admitted she wasn't doing it right on purpose because it meant dad spent the majority of the evening focused just on her. She didn't seem to care that it was negative attention. He was too frazzled to realize what she was doing & after I pointed it out, he's better at recognizing it. Now, when she comes home and says she has no idea what to do, he knows she wasn't paying attention when the teacher was explaining it. She's had an ongoing problem with talking in class & not paying attention. It really helps to have good communication with the teacher.

I just painted me boys' room, age 6 and 3. I wanted something fun and bright, but was hestitant to go with a theme because they will outgrow it before I have time to paint again. I did a really rich blue wall (medium to dark color - I just found a blue shirt I really liked, then used it to pick a paint color.) The blue really pops with the trim I painted white, their white dresser and warm pine colored beds. Then, I painted 3 stripes about 1 foot from the ceiling - thin white (about 1 inch thick), then a thin band of the wall color, then red (about 10 inches thick), then a band of the wall color, then thin white again. It goes all the way around the room, and adds some serious pizzaz and helps to make the space appear larger. I did the same stripe in my last house at chair rail height, and stenciled some Dr Seuss words on it for a more juvenile effect. You could stencil any shapes you wanted, or use those wall stickups if you wanted a theme. Then I added red/blue plaid quilts, and some fun artwork, some red/blue striped curtains with white curtain rod, etc. It is super cute and they won't outgrow it anytime soon, I hope! To the person looking for surfboards, I saw one seller who makes them on ebay if you search, and they are super cute. I looked at her surfboards and ended up just making my own with plywood and a jigsaw. Not that hard of a project, and I was able to personalize them for my girls.

Custody and access are two seperate things. BD has always had joint custody. It's called joint conservators. He has not always had access. He had supervised access. Joint conservatorship basically means we both have exclusive rights and duties to the child. I have two exclusive rights he does not have. The right to designate residence and the right to make educational decisions. We both have the right to seek medical treatment, provide shelter, food and clothing; the right to inform the other conservator of any info concerning health, welfare and education. We both have the right to religious guidance. He has a duty I do not have and that is to provide child support payments in X amount per month. As far as access it's about 60/40 now. It's called expanded standard possession. He has set weekends and days of the week, we split spring break, christmas and thanksgiving. He has superior rights to designate his access during the summer. My access is all other times not outlined as his possession time. Sole custody is extremely hard to get. Even with all of the mess we have been through, bd has always been a joint conservator he just had limited Access for a while. If I had sole custody I would not have to tell him anything about health, school etc. He would not be able to confer with the school. Even with limited access he still had a right to speak to teachers or to get medical records. With expanded standard possession during the school year, on a month with 30 days, Bd has 12 days, I have 18 days. During the summer he averages about 40 total days and I average about 46 give or take a few during a summer break of about 88 days. That almost 50:50 during the summer. Does that make sense?