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originalpinkmountain

Home made microwave dinners

11 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago

I am at my wits end cooking for my widowed dad. He is one of the world's fussiest eaters. All mom's female friends have given up trying to cook for him! It's often too much effort for him to even dish out something to eat. And he eats the worst things on his own--highly processed foods like store bought beef stew from a cardboard container that sits on the shelf--looks like dog food to me! Everything artificial and chemical, that's what he buys and eats instead of the good foods I cook for him. And believe me, I try and cook foods he likes, I don't dare try to slip something healthy in there!! For example, I made him noodle kugel, just like his mother made, he loved it, and I left a pan of it in the fridge. Two weeks later he brings it over to my house--the rest was untouched, he didn't even dish it out and reheat in the microwave! Same with almost every thing I make for him. I make him applesauce, which he loves, and he eats the little plastic bowls of fruit instead of spooning out some. I know it is because he is depressed and doesn't like to sit down to a meal alone, especially dinner which he always ate with mom. I am going to try and make him some premade microwave TV dinners, since he eats those store bought ones a lot of the time. I need tips and suggestions. Quality is not an issue, this is a man who can make a meal out of cheese whiz on saltines.

No suggestions for things he can fix himself, even super easy things. We have tried that, does not work. He says he will do it but he doesn't do it. No suggestions he eat at the senior center either, he refuses to do that.

I want to use some kind of potatoes in the dinners, since potatoes are one of the few foods he likes. How to make them so they freeze and reheat in the microwave?

How about pasta. I know it is not ideal but are some sauces better for pasta than others?

Any good freezable vegetable recipes? He only likes asparagus, peas, carrots, beets, corn and winter squash, along with sweet potatoes and tomatoes. Nothing in the brassica/mustard family, no celery or green pepper, no onions and no greens. Actually I think he may eat artichokes and parsnips too, which is weird. He eats mushrooms too, occasionally green beans but under duress. Can you freeze that mushroom green bean casserole? He also hates a lot of vegetables mixed in together. I made him homemade pot pie which was a real labor of love since I HATE working with dough, and he didn't eat it because I subbed butternut squash for potatoes since I didn't have them. All it had in it was chicken, peas, carrots and butternut squash, but that was enough to turn him off. Here's another example, he likes corn on the cob but not frozen or canned corn. He said he likes creamed corn but can't find a brand he likes the taste of, so he is that picky.

Here are some of my frozen meal ideas but I am open to others. Nothing spicy either. Can you cook and then reheat ribs and lamb chops? Don't worry about QUALITY, my dad will eat a boxed dinner or spaghetti o's with relish.

Salmon, rice and roasted starchy vegetables
Meatloaf, green beans with mushrooms, mashed potatoes
Chicken pasta and squash as a side
Pork tenderloin or chop, baked apples and sweet potato wedges
French toast (not sure about freezing this) and sausage. I could do pancakes instead I guess (blah)
Chicken enchiladas, spanish rice with corn and black beans as a side
Sweet and sour shrimp, rice with peas
Chicken with mushroom sauce, asparagus
Turkey burger, baked beans, creamed corn
Breaded stuffed pork chop, beets, mashed potatoes (this would be good to sub a lamb chop if it could be done)

Comments (44)

  • 11 years ago

    Why don't you enroll him in Meals on Wheels? They deliver a hot lunch and a cold meal for dinner. I found my older patients liked having their big meal for lunch.

    Then you don't have to be at your wit's end, and he can eat or not eat.

    If he wants to eat highly processed foods, let him. He is what he ate, over the last 70 or 80 or 90 years.

    If he isn't interested in microwaving, even food he likes, than nothing you make and give to him will change that, no matter how wonderful it is.

    You should back out of this, it's too upsetting for everyone.


    Here's a sample menu from the Mpl/Spl program.

    And here's a menu from a Maryland program




  • 11 years ago

    So, are you looking for ideas for meals to prep ahead and put in individual portions in microwavable containers?

    Can you just give us an elevator pitch?

    Thanks, and I'm sorry for both of your loss.

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  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Yes, that's the elevator pitch. It's how to do stuff that mixes together on a plate and can go in the freezer and then in a microwave to heat up when needed for dinner. I found a few ideas online but I need recipes. Basically two or three types of food, like a meat, vegetable and starch, or a casserole and a side.

  • 11 years ago

    Why not just buy the healthiest tv type dinners you can find for him and save yourself the trouble? If he prefers processed food, it's likely you won't change him. I agree with momj. It sounds like you are just beating your head against a brick wall, a lot of pain for you and the wall isn't changing. Why? Is there a senior center in his town where they serve hot lunches? If he can get to the store to buy the junk food, can he get to someplace to eat with others and have some companionship?

    At some point we have to let our loved ones make their choices and live with the consequences.


  • 11 years ago

    It's not a lot of pain for me, just frustration, when throwing out food I know he likes but won't dish up. He eats his own way most of the time. I cook for him occasionally but now take the leftovers to my own house to eat since I know he won't eat them. My only idea is that if I pre-assembled some microwave dinners he might heat them up. Same food, just different packaging.


  • 11 years ago

    Meals on Wheels. Many, many advantages, not just food. Social, health, welfare, change.


  • PRO
    11 years ago

    I made a large batch of minestrone soup for my mother once and then put it into containers suitable for one meal and froze those. It's a good vegetable dish for freezing. Enchiladas also freeze well, as does a lot of Mexican food.

    For pasta, avoid a pesto sauce, as Parmesan does not microwave well - it turns rubbery, unless it is well blended into a dish, such as lasagna.

  • 11 years ago

    I'd get microwavable, re-usable, compartmented and covered dishes like these.

    What I'd focus on for the "main" protein portion of the meal is braising.

    Get braising cuts of meat and slow cook them at home, then portion into the trays. You can tailor the side veggies to whatever your dad eats. Could be just portioned out frozen vegetables.

    Examples include chuck roast, chicken cacciatore, pork shoulder, boneless ribs.

    Also think about meatloaf, meatballs and other ground meat creations.

    I think you've got casseroles like lasagna covered.

    So, I recommend focusing on making a delicious main, and adding a starch and vegetable to your father's liking.

    I also suggest that you not cook and deliver to him very many to begin with.

    I don't expect his eating changes to happen 100%, and a little improvement is better than none to start with.

    I know what it's like to worry about a single parent! I used to cringe at my mother's freezer full of frozen meals, but at least she lived in a senior apartment with dinner included every day.

    If your father's weight is steady, don't worry too much, and don't push too much.

    He's lucky to have you!

  • 11 years ago

    The thing about microwave dinners is that they're designed and tested to all heat up evenly and come out okay. That's a really hard thing to do.

    My suggestion would be to start with the calories, because depressed elders often don't get enough plain old calories to burn. My next suggestion would be not to give your dad anything frozen. If it comes out uneven , he might abandon it. Instead, it might be better to portion what you make for him at your house, and vacuum seal all but a few portions, then either freeze them at your house, or store them in his freezer without expecting him to take them out. When you go to restock him, you can take several more portions out of the freezer and thaw them in his fridge for him to eat over the next few days. That is...assuming he'd be willing to open the bags. You can get microwavable food service trays at the catering supply store, or probably even on Amazon--if he doesn't have to take out and wash a dish it'll be that much easier for him.

    From there, your kugel and meatloaf are good starts for what you can portion and freeze. Also, you can make individual pot pies (with potatoes) in double ramekins. Since you hate making dough, do you think he'd accept puff pastry or some other dough you can buy at the store? If not, you could buy some biscuits and tear them into chunks and top with those.

    Yes, he should eat his vegetables, but so long as his digestion is working, it's not big a concern. Freezing vegetable dishes is hard--they're never as good. The somewhat exception is casseroles, and next stews. You could make a scalloped potato casserole with some vegetables in it too, and portion and freeze it as above. Will he eat lasagna if you only use the vegetables he likes? If there's a texture issue for him, you can FP the veg so that it's closer to a layer of pate', rather than something bumpy and potentially soggy from freezing. You can also make other kinds of noodle casseroles that have both meat and veg in them. For vegetable stews that freeze okay (not great, but okay), there's ratatouille, but I don't know if you can do one with all the restrictions.

    Starches and fats freeze really well, so you can freeze the rice and beans with the enchiladas, but if you do them on their own, do you think he'd zap some for a snack?

    Remember, that processed stuff has a lot of taste bud ticklers. Elderly people usually have lost a lot of their ability to taste so these might be appealing to him. Add mushroom powder or tomato powder to amp up the umami of a dish. Also, unless he's not allowed medically, you could put a little extra salt and a pinch of MSG. A bit of something sweet. Acid. Sour.

    Why not make him homemade spaghetti o's?

    Reheating meat on the bone is really tricky, but something like boneless short ribs ought to be freezeable, cooked, and reheatable.

    There were good instructions for making cream style corn in the freeze corn ears thread.

    I think once you come up with a good strategy for getting him to bother to eat what you've made, the actual plan for what you make will fall into place. Good luck.


  • 11 years ago

    Everything you have mentioned can be frozen. If you look at the packaging of those frozen microwave meals they are in small portions and cut rather small, especially the proteins. And spread out in a rather flat rectangle. (heats more evenly i suppose.)

    Might want to look into some good re-use washable ones.

    Make what you like for yourself, then adjust for him. If frozen and small portions, they will microwave quickly.

    Sounds a bit like my FIL. I never gave up either. I got it down to a simple three and made a dozen of each at a time. It might just be the fussiness of waiting and stirring and waiting they don't like but who knows.

    I just think it needs to look like a package, not a 'leftover' pot in the fridge. If frozen he can choose to eat it or not. I would not fuss or attempt to force it.

    Just casually mention some meals are in the freezer and maybe sit down and have one with him. Then you can test the timing of his microwave. And his reaction to the flavor.

    I'll try and find a link to the containers i used.

  • 11 years ago

    Your post caught my eye because I've been been making freezer meals for my parents for awhile now. Thankfully, they aren't fussy and my mom is beyond thrilled to not have to cook, so I never get complaints and the food is happily eaten. I do a lot of soups, stews and one-dish meals, like cottage pie, red beans and rice, etc. I read over your post a couple of times and I think the one thing that jumped out at me is your comment about him being depressed and not wanting to eat alone. It sounds like you don't live too far from him. Would you be able to make a meal a couple of times a week and take it over to him hot and sit and eat with him? You could focus on making some simple meals that you know he would eat - especially if you are sitting at the table with him. And, if he eats Spaghetti-o's the rest of the week, at least you know he's getting a couple of solid meals. I don't know what your weekly schedule is like, so perhaps this isn't workable, But, I can feel your anxiety and frustration and just wanted you to know that you are a wonderful daughter.

  • 11 years ago

    If your dad lives alone he may be depressed and lonely. He can't give voice to this, but he's not willing to even microwave the food you bring. Does he have a lot of other activities during the day?

    What you are doing is wonderful, and you have only his best interest at heart, but, do you really want to spend the coming years being frustrated with your father?

    I dealt with this problem when I was a home health nurse, over and over again. And we counseled families, over and over again, to use Meals on Wheels, or, if appropriate, to help mom andor dad to a retirement community.

    As my mother descended into her dementia, she ate less and less, and my father would nag and worry her endlessly about it. They were both upset. We had to forbid him going to the care center in their retirement community, where she was a resident for the last year of her life, at meal times. It was hard for him, it was hard for all of us, but both of them were less anxious and she was less agitated when he came over to visit.

    The person who delivers meals will spend some time with him, and if necessary, they'll contact you. Even that small amount of socializing will be good for him, and it means when you spend your time with him won't have that elephant in the room.

  • 11 years ago

    It's so hard because for so many of us, food is love.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Those Meals on Wheels menus will give me some more combo ideas. As for Meals on Wheels, yeah, right. Don't know why he refuses that, I would LOVE to sign up for Meals on Wheels if I could afford it and the meals were ones I would like. Or hire myself a professional chef, lol! I hate to cook for just myself but I like to eat good food and can't afford pre-made stuff, so I just do it! 35+ years ago, my grandmother, (dad's mom) refused Meals on Wheels also. She was getting old and cooking was difficult for her, but she refused. For her it was maybe something she considered "charity" and therefore rejecting it, or perhaps just "giving up." Dad's no different. I would sign up for Meals on Wheels today if I could!! I had to laugh about your post Tamara, if it was my mom, I know she too would have been only too happy to eat what I cooked! IDad's got most of his marbles, still drives, memory OK, so I can only do so much and I am fine with that. I don't sweat what is not under my control.

    I go over there at least twice a week and eat with him. It's a half hour drive one way. He has friends and options galore, he just refuses them. He's also getting all kinds of grief support, medical treatment, folks stopping by, etc. Grieving is a process, so it goes. This is just one little thing I am working on. Not obsessing, just wanted a few suggestions as I don't cook or eat this kind of "comfort food."

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I never realized how social it is it dine together. I actually burst into tears the other day, when I couldn't break bread with my son, as he was gone. Sure, I could with other people, and I can be alone, but it hit me hard for some reason. He was coming back, so I had my solace.

    I think there is something so loving in a meal taken together that can't be found other ways. My point, I deeply feel for him. (((lp's daddy)))

  • 11 years ago

    ditto what momj47 said. When MIL died, FIL was inconsolable and depressed. Plus he was born in an era when cooking was women's job so the thought of fixing anything or heating even was out of the question. Dr prescribed an antidepressant which he took for a while and it gave him the will to get up and do things. Meals on Wheels was an absolute Godsend with the social interaction with the delivery volunteer being a ++++++. After year one, a relative gave him a slow cooker and I remember how thrilled he was when he made his first batch of chili. The nagging, even when we'll-meaning is harmful to all parties but I do understand that it is much easier said than done. Best wishes to you, you are being a good daughter.

  • 11 years ago

    Could you sign him up for Meals on Wheels without telling him? If he rejects the delivery so be it, but would it hurt to try?

    I have a SIL with major health issues. She never really cooked and now that she's on oxygen 24/7 she's pretty much limited to microwaved food. Her granddaughter visits twice a week and provides a home-cooked meal and some much-needed company. Two healthy meals a week is better than none.

  • 11 years ago

    Maybe you can talk to your local Meals on Wheels program and see if you can give it a try. Their services are generally offered on a sliding scale, based on your dad's income.

    Tell him you want to see how it goes because it's too expensive to waste the food he doesn't eat. Who knows, he make like it.

    When we finally "convinced" my parents to move to a Continuing Care Retirement Community, my dad fought us every step of the way. I was afraid I was going to have to duct tape him to a hand truck to get him there. But they went. My mom was pretty far into her dementia by then. Well, about a month after they moved he admitted that this was a wonderful decision and he apologized for fighting us. He lived there for 14 years. He had already made friends who invited him to activities, concerts, travelogues, etc. Things he only did once a month with his church group, he could do weekly. He then proceeded to invite the seniors group from church to come up every few months for lunch and a program. Several of them moved into his community, and others moved into other nearby communities. It wasn't so scary any more.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    For some reason, all his life, my dad has had a problem sitting down and enjoying a meal and has had food issues. When he lived with mom, she made him do it. But they had many fights over the years over food, he depressed her because she loved good food and in her day was known as a good cook. But dad wore her down with his often arbitrary pickiness. She would complain to me that he would out of the blue decide he liked something and then out of the blue decide he didn't like it. So I am well aware of his food personality, this is nothing new and I am not going to get into a big thing with him about it, I know better than that!

    My sadness is not really that my dad doesn't eat well, I learned long ago not to care about that. My sadness is that I was not able to share more good food with mom. We both liked everything and she was the one who taught me to love good food, cook and especially garden and frequent farmer's markets. She and I loved all fresh fruits and vegetables. I have her recipe file basket and I cry and cry when I look at it. So many meals never to be made. So many recipes that dad would never have accepted. I did make some thing for her when she was alive, whenever I could. Two years ago I made creamed onions for her at Christmas, something dad would never have wanted!!

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Dad can afford Meals on Wheels, I can't. He would throw a fit if I did something like that. He's stubborn and even resists the most subtle attempts. We signed my grandmother up for meals on wheels against her will and she threw all the stuff away, complained it gave her an upset stomach. And this was a woman who never wasted food!

    There are no nice senior housing options available in my very rural area. Dad is not about to move at this point. Maybe someday but he is not there yet. Like I said, he doesn't lack for dinner invitations and folks who would cook for him, places to go to eat, etc. It's not a lack of resources or ideas, it's just stubbornness. My dad is just a fighter so I accept that whatever is going on is his choice. The only thing I want to try is making up premade meals. All the other stuff is either going on already or he has refused and that's that. Just some recipes and suggestions for premade TV dinner frozen meals, that's all I need. I know some of you are doing this for senior parents and may have some favorite tips or recipes. Thanks!

  • 11 years ago
    Remember when the talk was about raising/dealing with teens? I see that as a cake walk compared to elder care. You can tell a minor "'cause I said so, 'cause I know better, etc" but not so easy when a person has 20,30,40,50 years' experience over you. Have to thread very lightly to avoid insult or disrespect.
  • 11 years ago

    I'm sorry I'm not more help with actual recipes. I mostly just cook and have outlines rather than recipes.

    Back to your original questions, if you make the green bean mushroom dish with fresh green beans, and under cook them, it might freeze fine. That's the full fat version. French toast should freeze fine. Again, starch and fat freeze best. For pasta with sauce, take a lesson from the freezer department and freeze the pasta next to the sauce rather than mixed together. Additionally, it will help if you steam off or strain the water out of the sauce, and toast the cooked pasta a little to dry it off. It'll be nicer when zapped if there isn't a bunch of water making it sloppy. As it is, there will be plenty of water left to crystalize. :)

    Since your dad likes tomatoes, will he accept a tomato sauce for pasta with a lot of other vegetables in it? Would he be willing to try black bean pasta?


    I made a "barbecue lasagna" awhile back that froze well and was popular. It was standard lasagna pasta, homemade tomato-y barbecue sauce, smoked cheeses, grilled chicken, smoked sausage, caramelized onions, and some small cut vegetables. That way I made it was more meat and veg than cheese and pasta.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    You seem focused on hot food - need it be? Even though he'd have to assemble sandwiches, to me slapping a few slices of deli meat on some bread, perhaps a slice of cheese and a squirt of mayo seems easier than heating up a frozen meal. And it doesn't all have to be cold cuts. Perhaps some chicken salad, leftover roasted turkey, cold meatloaf, etc.

  • 11 years ago

    L, I can only tell you good luck. Stepmom is in a Senior Citizen assisted living kind of apartment, with alarms and emergency buttons. She gets Meals on Wheels and complains incessantly, she hates it and feeds it to the dog. Although she's supposed to be on a low salt diet and she's on Coumadin so has to watch the green stuff, she'll just order delivery from the local sub joints or pizza. She has someone come from the local Senior Citizen center to clean and run errands twice a week so she just sends them for doughnuts and gives them a grocery list that consists of Little Debbie brownies and frozen pot pies. She doesn't eat what I fix for her either, so I quit trying to cook for her, she can eat what she pleases, I've given up. I did tell her that if she goes back on dialysis because of her lousy diet, she'd be taking a cab, because I am not going to drive her. So, anyway, I do things like count her pills, pay her bills, walk her dog, I gave the dog a bath today. I run her errands, weed her flowers, wash her dishes, occasionally bring her a baked "goodie", but I won't fight with her over her diet. She's 83, and so she can do as she pleases, I suppose. I cannot imagine anyone being more strong willed than she is, but maybe your Dad could give her a run for her money!

    Anyway, French Toast freezes extremely well if it's cooked first. Lasagna and goulash freezes nicely too, I cook the pasta, assemble the dish and then freeze, so it gets freshly baked when I want it. Lots of soup freezes nicely, but my Dad never thought soup was a meal, it was a snack, so you might have to find something to go along. I used to freeze mashed potatoes in muffin cups, and then the girls just heated them up in the microwave with more butter. Lots more butter, probably, LOL. Frozen mashed squash freezes OK too, I didn't like chunks frozen as well, they got too watery. Corn on the cob freezes well too, just freeze it in the husks and cook after thawing. I used to blanch it first, but if you do that be sure you cool the ear all the way through the middle before freezing or it gets really watery.


    Annie

  • 11 years ago

    I really like Sleeve's idea of frozen sandwiches. If you're going round with a nice meal twice a week then perhaps a sandwich will hit the spot on other days?guide-to-freezing-sandwiches/ this link has some good advice. If he doesn't like them then at least you've not wasted too much money. I agree, he's lucky to have you.

  • 11 years ago

    Go to a jewish style bakery and get him a rye bread. Buy a quarter pound of corned beef. Make him a sandwich-wrap it well.


    Another meal is a stick of butter and some more rye bread and some soup. Canned is ok, whatever he likes. You dont have to cook. Just give him food he likes, he, not you and not what you think is healthy. Is salt a real problem, not just a warning in your mind but does he, he, really have to watch his salt?


    Stop at Burger King or MickeyD's and get burgers with cheese, no fries. Cold bubbly soda pop. He'll say, 'mmmmmm'. Isnt that what you want to hear?


    We know you know how to cook, we know you know what healthy is, we know you know how to budget, we know you know how to freeze, and read recipes, but this time it's about making it yummy and easy and grabable. He needs to easily grab something and not fuss. Just grab and eat and it's a bonus if it is especially yummy. Easy and grab and available are paramount

  • 11 years ago

    Is it possible he doesn't want any help with his food and just wants to do it himself? Have you had a frank discussion about what he wants? Am assuming he is at least 70? If he isn't suffering ill health and he is capable of going out to eat or heating a tv dinner, I would let him eat what he wants. It's great that you care, but you can't make him eat what he doesn't want to eat. I would wonder about the need for an anti-depressant, but you say he is taking care of his medical needs. I would just keep having dinner with him twice a week and only get into the food help if he asks and is specific about what he wants. If he won't eat what you cook or what your mother's friends cook, it seems like a waste of your time and food. Just my thoughts.

  • 11 years ago

    Another meal is a stick of butter and some more rye bread and some soup.


    LOL

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    My dad is taking an anti-depressant, seeing a counselor, participating in a grief support group, has people checking in on him, taking him out to dinner, etc. He has food galore in the fridge. It's getting him to dish it up. He has soup, all he needs to do is put it in a bowl and heat it up, but he doesn't. He has lasagne, spaghetti, chili, etc. all ready to eat. It's not even an issue of him not liking it. It is very difficult for him to go into the kitchen and to make a plate for himself. It's not a skill issue or an idea issue, it is an emotional one. He is old school. That's mom's area. Mom always did all the food stuff and it's difficult for him mentally to do it. He's never, in his entire life, been without someone cooking for him, he went from his mother's house to college dorm to Army to boarding house to marriage. Mom cooked for him for 55+ years and it is emotionally hard for him to live without her doing it. He just eats junk food--chips, sweet rolls, he eats chocolate kisses and leaves the wrappers all around the house, etc. No question, he's having a lot of mental issues. I do not think that I am off base thinking that if I made up some pre-made microwave meals for him that he would eat them. Pre-made sandwiches for lunch would be great too. I go over to his house and eat with him twice a week. All I need is some suggestions about making frozen dinner meals maybe from someone who has done this kind of thing before. I freeze all kinds of things--soup, roasted veggies, enchiladas, rice ,etc. I just don't have much experience with this kind of cooking. But no matter, I have found some suggestions online, so I'll just do some experimenting. I got a bunch of plastic dinner saver trays at the Dollar Tree tonight so tomorrow will be my first experiment. I'll make him dinner and freeze the leftovers in these new trays. Teriyaki marinated chicken, rice and creamed peas.

  • 11 years ago

    But if he won't dish it up, will he take it out of the fridge and heat something that's already portioned?

    Maybe you can change the surroundings. If there's a bar, you could put a small fridge and microwave there. If not, perhaps there's a sideboard where you could put them, or an unoccupied corner, or you could make up a kitchenette in a spare bedroom? So that he could just snack on the foods you bring him without having to go into your mom's territory and feel all sad that she's not there making him a fresh hot meal and just being there with him.


  • 11 years ago

    I sympathise with you. It's very difficult because it has to be emotional for you too. He lost his wife and you lost your Mum.

    But, it sounds like he already has a freezer full of meals and he won't eat those so I fear he may not eat yours either.

    Perhaps you'll have to accept helping him in other ways than food. Good luck whatever you decde to do!

  • 11 years ago

    " My dad is just a fighter so I accept that whatever is going on is his choice".

    So let go, lpink. Don't drive over to his house with a meal. Just drive over - no food coming with you - and ask him to make you a cup of tea. Keep him company - yes. Feed him - absolutely not.

    You can't save people from themselves. Sometimes you can save yourself from people, though it very hard.

    If you accept and respect his decision to eat junk, it's the acceptance and respect that will filter through to him and they're more nourishing than the best meal.

  • 11 years ago

    Honestly all I wanted was some suggestions and tips on some traditional comfort foods that freeze well and some tips on preparing frozen dinners. If it seems like I have a "thing" about this or am stressed or have an issue that I have to let go, that's a misunderstanding. The only thing I was interested in was some tips and suggestions on how to prepare some freezer and microwave friendly portions of traditional comfort food. I thought some of you might have experience with this kind of thing. I appreciate all the additional suggestions but there is really no problem here, I was only interested in the cooking aspects of the frozen dinners, that was my inquiry. The rest of it I have covered but thanks anyway. Let's just let this go, I found some recipes and cooking tips online for freezing stuff, and the menu suggestions here are more than enough to keep me busy. If dad doesn't use the dinners, I will.


  • 11 years ago

    That's why I suggested making one thing at a time and bringing your dad over a portion that he can heat up later.

    Just see how he responds to that.

    If you knew he'd eat, I'd suggested making a few different things and handing over a couple weeks worth of meals, but that might be a whole lot of effort for nothing.

    Do you have a slow cooker? Dutch oven?

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    He is old school. That's mom's area. Mom always did all the food stuff

    LOL. My dad was the same. His idea of a vegetable was ketchup (like Reagan).

    Fortunately, by the time my mom couldn't cook anymore, they lived in a CCRC and could have meals in the dining rooms, with their friends and acquaintances, or have something delivered if they/he wanted to stay in.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Twice you mentioned quality not being an issue and that you don't dare try to slip in something healthy. That being the case how would your homemade TV dinners be any different than the ones he buys? Also, are you sure he should be microwaving plastic dishes?

    Wishing you luck, but maybe it's time to just let him be. At least he's eating something.

  • 11 years ago

    Taco meat frozen in single meal sizes, plus taco shells, pre-chopped lettuce, tomatoes (pre-chopped if necessary), shredded cheese, etc.

    Lasagna (side salad from taco lettuce, tomato, etc.)

    grilled hamburger patties (can be dressed with same lettuce, tomato, etc from tacos)

    Centrum Silver for Men


  • 11 years ago

    Lpink, this is not the answer you want to hear but we have heard your dillemma before. Just about every time you'd go home for the holidays or a visit you would ask how to substitute healthier foods for your dad instead of the unhealthy diet he was eating.

    It's been a battle between your diet and his for years and he is still winning. If he is not losing drastic amounts of weight and eating what he likes, why add to both his and your stress by keeping up the fight.

    Try visiting him without talking about or judging his food, take him a frozen Pepperidge Farm layer cake, and see how that goes.



  • 11 years ago
    Don't be surprised if one day, out of the blue, HE tells you what he'd like. Now matter how feeble, mentally or physically, I'm observing elders have a lot of problem surrendering decisions/activities to others. It may be part of what makes them feel relevant in this world. The idea of somebody suggesting something that would normally be 100% a personal decision may make them feel may be too much for their self respect.

    On the other end of the spectrum is the angst of caregivers/relatives of feeling like they're not doing enough hence the need to intervene in every activity, with the best of intentions. I don't know where the happy medium is--very hard.
  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Thanks for the suggestions Moosemac, those are EXACTLY the kinds of things my dad eats and would love to eat!! (Sans most of the vegetables, lol!) This list will really keep me going for quite a while. That answers one of my questions about whether cooked eggs freeze well. I can totally relate to your mom's last words! My mom died without leaving any last words (thankfully plenty of words when she was alive!), but she was 87 and I believe one of the things that kept her going all those years was not wanting to leave me with dad!! I know she is looking down from heaven and saying, "I'm sorry!" But it's OK, I am a big girl, I knew what I was in for and long ago learned some techniques for coping. Of course the older he gets the more challenging it will be, but I'm not the only one dealing with senior challenges, I know it is a big boat!! All dad's siblings are in their 90's with all of their mental faculties (as much as they ever had!) mostly still intact but energy waning drastically, which ticks them off so they are often in a bad mood, understandably. I have many cousin's to commiserate with! Three out of the four are now widowed and without their sainted spouses to look after them or to look after, they are struggling. My dad's situation is so much better than many other folks have it. Like you, I don't fret too much about the way he eats and although I may have mentioned it in one of my posts, if he wants to eat sweet rolls and candy all day long, his choice I don't discuss it with him. You described dad's eating habits to a "T." Even about the labeling, dad does that and wants that too.

    I have a dutch oven Mimipadv, but my slow cooker is in storage. Mom had a slow cooker so there is one at the house where dad lives. I got my dad a "Dump" cookbook for it but he isn't going to use it. But I could! I left the slow cooker at his house for him but I doubt he will use it. I may bring it to my house. Just today I was thinking that those soupy slow cooker recipes would probably freeze well.

    Thanks BBSTX for the suggestions too. Mom and dad used to have a "taco night" so I can do that!

  • 11 years ago

    This has been going on for years? I was under the impression your mom recently passed away.

  • 11 years ago

    L, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Give it up, know you are a good daughter and go on. He will not change. If he won't reheat a kugel, he won't nuke a dinner either.

    My dad is similar. No clue how to cook, so if I didn't, he opens a can of sardines in sauce,grabs some bread and calls it a meal, Try something new? No way!!


    Moose, my mom said the same to me, and a freinds mom said it to her daughter too. All I can say is "MEN"!

  • 11 years ago

    L, it sounds like you're set for ideas. Do you need any more help with freezing?