Chispa, it happened with my older daughter as well. I can only say in our case she chose to go to a school because it was highly ranked and her guidance counselor and everyone around her was so enthusiastic that she got swept up in the moment. It wasn't the right school for her.

She left, came home and worked for 6 months in a fashion industry job. She was accepted to FIT and graduated from there with a BS in Textile Development.

My second daughter chose a school that she liked. She was accepted to higher ranked schools as well. She had a great experience and it still very connected with friends from the school.

It is not uncommon for kids to change schools. Look at the school's retention rate statistics.

I would say he should first figure out if he wants a small, medium, or large school and if he wants rural, suburban, small or large city. Of course, if he knows his major he should probably try to get into schools with good reputations for that major.

My niece knew at the end of her first semester the school was not for her. She transferred back to our state university and was happy.

My son went to a school for a very specific major not offered most places. By the end of sophomore year he realized he no longer wanted a career in that field. He looked into transferring back home, but most of the classes wouldn't transfer because there was no equivalent course here. He would have had to put in an extra year. He stuck it out...did a semester abroad which helped.....and is working in the field he wants which has nothing to do with his major.

My other two went to their first choice schools and were very happy.

Your son will narrow down his choices and go with his gut, but it's still a crap shoot. I would say it probably works out and they are happy with their choice way more often than not.

Sue...I must have missed the post about your son not being happy. So sorry to hear that. Will he be returning in the fall?

May I just say (after experience with two kids going to college and many friends and stories in general) that sometimes it's not just the school that was the wrong fit, it is generally known that the freshman year is the most difficult. There are alot of adjustments, there are expectations on the part of the freshman and sometimes reality just doesnt mesh with expectations. It also depends on personalities of the "child"/freshman and sometimes the whole experience and work load takes alot of adjustments/getting used to.

Just my 2 cents...thinking outloud

DS went to one school in the Boston area, with the idea of majoring in poli sci. Didn't work out. He dropped out for a year, not knowing whether he was interested in arts or government, got a job on Capitol Hill , interning for the Arts Caucus, learned more about art and politics than he ever did in school, and transferred to Emerson, which he enjoyed.

Thanks! We are definately looking at small schools. His interests are in math/computers and he has to be able to talk/brainstorm/interact with teachers. He would not do well in a lecture hall with 100 kids. Location isn't as important and he would adapt equally well in a city or in the boonies!

Another here with two cents to add. I hear your worry and have watched many young adults go through this. I had a niece change schools having received a basketball scholarship but with a change in coaches and a realization she had a career in mind that school did not offer, she made a change after two years. Many young people are just not ready to choose a career path as seniors in high school, so the college they choose then does not fit when their future becomes clear. The reasons such a huge percent drop out/change schools are as varied as those making the different choices. Our youngest started last year. All the orientation information told us most change in or around freshman year. If a college can keep them into sophomore year, most stay put. With our three the visits we took to each school really solidified their wants. Truth is most students can find their major in hundreds of colleges..for mine it came down to intangibles. They just "felt" more comfortable/at home/liked the school they chose. It was the right fit. Our oldest did not appreciate much about the workings of his University. The professors were not particularly good, the business office could not get his transcript correct, it was a nightmare of fighting for credits and needed classes not offered. But he never once considered changing schools. He was very happy with the life he was living there. In the end he graduated with honors and went on to easily find a job as an electrical engineer. With each one we did not know FOR CERTAIN how they would settle in. Until tested..how does a parent ever KNOW how an off spring will do in these situations? Will they deal with being far from home, or should they be close enough to come home if they want? Is the prestige of a certain school so important to their future career, they are willing to do what ever it takes to be there? Is a smaller more intimate campus more in tune with their personality? Is the debt load they will incur logical given other school choices that would be much less? Our second child chose a very small campus. For a gal who dreams of living in NYC one day I was a bit surprised she didn't go for a larger University. She LOVES IT. She is editor of the paper,does theater productions, writing a blog for her Student Support Services office. Our youngest will graduate in three years due to credits earned in high school. She is already sad. She LOVES everything about college life. She began her search for a school with the attitude I will NEVER consider school at _______. In the end that is exactly where she chose. The campus visits made all the difference. Truth is there is no one path to assure success,both my brother and I took a year off mid way through college..we both changed majors but not schools and finished. If it happens it does not have to be the end of the world. Sometimes the lessons learned in those situations are what that person needed to become who they are to be.
Bottom line lesson I learned with three transitioning from high school to college so many of the SO IMPORTANT are not, once the choice is made and their lives have begun. High School, SENIOR YEAR angst looks so silly when looking back from their first visit home from college!!!

By the middle of her freshman year our dd was sure she wanted to transfer schools. She was in an engineering university and said frankly she hadnt expected to have to work so hard. I really thought she would transfer. But by the end of the year she had resolved to stay and see it through, and midway of sophomore year you would have had to drag her out. She did love the school by the time she graduated and keeps in touch with many of her friends and associates there, returns for the occasional football game, etc. She is getting a post baccalaureate degree in computer science now and working full time, so i guess at some point along the way she decided hard work was ok!

Right after freshman year seems like a time when students are unsure or their personal and academic goals are changing,. There is really no way to avoid "buyers' remorse" if the student is truly unhappy or has realized the degree program is not right. Like good marriages, a lot of success in this area is iust plain old LUCK.

I also took a year off to do an internship midway through college. Looking back, I think a gap year after college would also have helped solidify some future direction for myself.

We just finished freshman orientation. My colleague said in his focus groups the thing that students were most looking forward to was no dress code. Whoa!

Changing majors, and especially changing schools, will affect degree progress. You just have to remember that.

A lot of our students come in wanting allied health graduate programs such as physical and occupational therapy. Some have this vision and see it through. Others realize there are different career options within the major. In order to get in these highly competitive allied health programs, they need outstanding grades in pre-requisite courses like statistics, biology, chemistry, psychology, sociology, physics, and anatomy and physiology. And although schools may say they need a C or higher in these courses, the higher the better. Some students get their butts kicked in these courses. OTOH, I have had some students get off to a bad start freshman year--even to the point of probation-- and recover very well.

That freshman-sophomore transition is a risky time. There are programs in place to assist freshman, and by the time someone is a junior they are usually engaged in their major and have made friends. That sophomore year is risky. Their courses increase in intensity and they may not have too many departmental courses. Students may be struggling and do not go to office hours or seek out tutoring from campus resources.

My daughter started at Hampshire College—she fell in love with it, and was determined to go there (we were persuaded by the consortium where she could--and did--take classes, including Amherst, Smith, UMass, and Mount Holyoke). At the beginning of her junior year she had to leave school for health reasons. When she was on leave, Smith contacted her (she had started taking an organic chemistry course there) and suggested that when she was ready to return to college, she should apply there instead. She did, and it changed the entire course of her life for the better. She's now in graduate school at UPenn, getting a DVM/PhD. She was a post baccalaureate research fellow at NIH. She's doing research in prions. Change can be good; delay is not fatal.

Great comments and insight from everyone. Thank you. Need to run out, but will comment later!