My stepdauher is so hateful
Michelle Martin
8 years ago
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sylviatexas1
8 years agoMichelle Martin
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoRelated Discussions
My Parents Hate my fiance...HELP!!!!
Comments (18)wow! Thermometer... I think that really hit me...seriously..I don't want to lose my family... guys are guys...and they'll come and go right? But your family is yours forever and you'll only have one. ehart1218, I can only guess that you are a very young woman. People naturally become offended when their age comes into question, but I don't say it to offend or belittle you at all. I say it because it is apparent you do not yet possess the wisdom that the benefit of time and experience begets. Like your parents, I am trying very hard to get you to open your eyes but fear I am failing miserably. Your situation is not a battle between your family and your man. You keep turning it into that, but this is not about choosing one over the other. It's not about the importance of family or anything of the sort. It's about what your parents are saying that you have to open your eyes to see and analyze. Talk to your parents calmly and with an open mind. Ask them what it is they object to about your fiance. Examine each individual complaint. Ask them why they make the complaints. As they enumerate their grievances, ask them "What's wrong with that?" with each one. You will be giving your parents the opportunity to school you. Please don't be so grown to think you know everything or that your parents have nothing left to teach you. Analyze and work through everything they say without becoming angry. They can show how a woman should be treated by her boyfriend/husband, or at least how she should not be treated and what she should not tolerate. You will be giving them the chance to explain, incident by incident, what he did/said that was embarrassing and disrespectul to you, or when they were embarrassed on your behalf because you didn't know to be offended at the time. Most parents don't think to school their daughters in this manner while they are teenagers. Don't fault your parents because no one ever thinks to do it. If more parents did, then there'd be far fewer women in abusive relationships and putting up with their husband's disrespect. Your parents are not trying to make things bad for you. They understand the natural course of life, and that you will one day marry and have children. They are very much looking forward to it. They just don't want you to make bad choices in life and can see this will be a very bad one. That is what I meant when I said they can see your future. You met this guy and fell in love with him. Perhaps he is very good looking. Perhaps he has a good education and a good job. I'm sure he has many good attributes in his favor. Your parents fell in love with all those qualities too.....at first. But then, as I said, the benefit of time - as all things are revealed in due time - and the benefit of acquaintance - as you spend time with a person, you get to see them for what they really are - brought them back down to reality. In the beginning, they thought their daughter had quite a catch of a guy, but he has shown them a very different side of himself. Trust your parent's wisdom, and trust they only want the best for you. Also, go through the pages on this forum and read a bunch of the posts. You will find on these pages the exact same complaints your parents have....the exact same mistakes most of these women have made....the exact same mistakes your parents are trying to prevent you from making. Mom and dad are trying to fortify you. They're trying to make sure you have the self-estemm and self-worth that a woman should hold for herself. The kind of worth a woman possesses that helps her recognize when she is being treated badly. Understand something else, please. You met this guy, and he did and said all the things you liked hearing. He gave you some attention. He brought you into his world and made you like it. It could have been someone else and can still be someone else. Someone who loves and cares for you in the way that you deserve....See MoreI realy dislike my my step child, may even hate him at times.
Comments (181)I agree. I been looking hard for place closer to work then available at this time. As soon as I can get out of here the better. I can very easily head back to Washington State but I took on a good job here as a Strictures Technician on Boeing Aircraft for an MRO (Maintenance Repair & Overhaul) and will be making good money in the next year. Hopefully I can find a place soon enough. Shame of it is this kid has spent on many occasions time with his dad and things around here could not be better between us. We go places, laugh all the time and are pretty lined up with each other. Its what I signed on for until the evolution of her son started going down hill however, he has always been a bit of a manageable problem at times but now he stresses her out so bad shes off the rails at times. Anyway I agree with your advice which is the same advice given to me by my sisters and close friends but most importantly myself. Most recently he threatened to call the Sheriff telling them I threated to shoot him but they know of him because we have had the Sherriff here many times and we were told to file an unruly child report with the county clerk. We went there and they told us they needed to see her divorce papers and also the father would have to be on board. Well John didnt want to do it so that was that. If we were able and he acted out tge Sherriff would take the necessary actions if I had to call. The real problem I have right now and is a major part of why I need to get out of dodge asap is because of my other half and my different shifts, shes on 1st shift and Im on 2nd it leaves me home alone with the kid most if the day and he starts in, last week he got violent once again and got right in my face wanting to fight with nobody here, so I told him Im not getting into it with nobody here so Ill call the Sheriff. Well thats when he started yelling "good ill call and tell them how you just threatened to shoot me etc. Meanwhile that was his exact threat to me when he got in my face saying him and his friends will shoot me. I can wipe the streets with this kid, hes a spoiled brat who lies, steels, drugs etc and I don't want to be here alone because if some false report gets written i can and will lose my job and maybe even freedom. That day he called his mom lying as always and crying to her and she believes him. While this was going on I had his dad in the phone so he heard everything and knows how bad this kid is and so does she, then she posts on facebook " nobody threatens my kids etc" Right then I saisaid its time to move out of here fast. When ththis was happening it all stemmed from the night before when he was on drugs yelling at her and he never went toto sleep tge whole night. Anyway she wasn't answering my call when this was going on only to find out becausebecause he was on the phone with her crying about me. Then she posts thathat on facebook. So it proved that if shes not here Im getting the blame and if he did call the Sheriff she would side with him. Time to go. Two weeks ago he broke into my closet and took my riffle and started firing it off the back deck into the woods where there are houses on the other side. My nieghbor told me about that, he asked me if he was allowed and I said he is forbidden to even touch those riffles. He said yeah we didnt even know where the shots were coming from and even the road workers were ducking for cover. This a 13 year old kid whose mom grants him adult privileges, big mistake and if I get on him she takes his side. I told her about the riffle incident about a week later because I dont tell her anymore because it always gets turned around on me so I just removed all the riffles from the home. Turns she knew about it and never said anything to me. I told her you do relize if he struck anybody on the other side of those woods or anywhere, you go to prison for murder and possibly even John. In not legally responsible for this kid. Anyway this is getting to long winded, its so much longer of a story and all I can say is I dont even like coming home from work and once it gets that bad its time to leave. With all I have explained, its obvious its just not safe for me to be here any longer. God knows I put up with alot but God cant physically bear witness for me so its time to move on. Like you said she is not on my side and in the long run its only going to hurt the kid and maybe even her as time goes on and he contunes to get worse. Hes even pulled stolen credit cards fraud when he was 11 and 12 till we found out. But, never really got in any trouble. His parents are smart people to. Moms a nurse snd dads an engineer so we are not talking about uneducated people. I suggested bording or military school. I been pushing this kid to go into the Coast Guard. Two weeks ago I got special clearance at work and brought him up into the cockpits of the Boeing 767s I work on and a tour threw all the hangers and other airplanes in attempt to try and plant some seeds. Last month I aranged for him to come to NY to my Moms funeral where I have to admit he was on great behavior alone and miles away from Ohio. We stayed with very close friends of mine and he had a great time outside of my moms funeral proceedings. It was night and day. But I also had a man to man talk with him about it and he saisaid dont worry I know how to act, I laughed with him and said thats what Im worried about. Anyway once there I tried like always to show him some responsibility and arranged for him to be next to me and carry my moms coffin. He did wonderfull in NY with me and my family, I had mamany of them write to me telling me how nice he is and handsome etc. Why that all kinda changes at home is beyound me. I think he knows Mom is not around and Joe has support from his family if I get out of hand. His biggest problem is his mom doesnt engage in team work with me to reprimand him when hes out of line, instead she looks for every which way to turn t around and blame me mainly because im here or his teachers before he was kicked out of school or his dad. This is the key factor of why this kid is the way he is....See Moreso...why do you hate, loathe, abhor your wolf, blue star or la co
Comments (4)zenfoodist - I hear you...I was a mess about my stove, but honestly I think you are looking at well loved products and short of any really ugly feedback about repairs or service on the stoves, I think you will be in good shape (that is without knowing what your priorities are :) I had decided upfront that I didn't want to spend $5 K on my stove (I have a pretty bad tile and stone addiction that I had to feed and it would really be overkill where I live :) and had read about the stoves that were not as standard issue (electronic controls on the back), but were better priced than the Wolf and Viking. I checked out the American Range, the Capitol and the Bluestar, all in one (long) night. After all that research and obsessing I realized they were all good products with their pros and cons and picked the one I thought I would be the most comfortable with. I wanted something simple that I could just turn on and get flame (but also a convection oven :) I got the 30" RCS - I didn't want to pay the extra $ for the additional BTU for the Nova burner (all my past cooking experience had been on standard issue gas stoves so the RCS power burner blew that out of the water.) ebean is right - it is a 'box of fire' and I know people say that a good cook can use any stove, but I really do prefer cooking on this to my previous low end stoves. I cook, alot, and bake no complaints about the results. I am trying to adjust to the "woosh" - power I am not used to but getting there. Honestly as I try to remember the difference between the three products I can't other than the open versus sealed burners (but I think Capitol was coming out with an open burner.) I really have enjoyed the open burner. For me it is easier to keep clean - or maybe the cast iron looks fine when it is not perfect versus stainless. The best is it just doesn't give me a minute of thought - it just works. But that is only my experience and I have only been using it for 3 months. If you love the wolf or the la c (pretty french thing :) get it, but if you don't love them save yourself a few dollars and go with the blue star. Unless you live in a upscale neighborhood and people expect a wolf. I live in an area that is slowly gentrifying and nobody even knows what the blue star is (and I don't care :) Good luck....See MoreNeed so much help with a new pond....I really hate it!
Comments (26)I felt you probably paid around $12,000 to $14,000. Don't tear it out : ) "we are adding a Roman paver patio abutting the pond... so if I add a large garden bed beside the patio on the large rock side, will it look okay sloped in to the patio? " I think that'd be lovely (see pic below as to why I would think so, lol). Yes, and do make sure the slope is away from the pond, going downhill to avoid drain-off into your pond - and I know you're thinking 'but those rocks are so tall...' it's not the rocks, and there's always the possibility of flooding, which we experienced this winter, and thankfully our pond was higher than it was meant to be, although with the slope of the dirt we added, you cannot tell. I'd add stepping stones leading to the rocks, and steps up to them if needed. Make it into your own sanctuary. Our pond was to be smaller than it came out (currently it's 9 ft Wide x 7 ft Wide water edge to water edge, the rocks around the pond make it around 12 x 8+). Though small, it suits our smaller back yard well. The paver patio curves, and the pond is a nice fit, but again, you can't see the fish from the patio... we have no larger rocks like you, but I spend more time on the seating wall watching the fish/pond, than I do on the lounge chairs. See all that bare ground? Every baby plant was started by seed this winter/spring. In the years to come, it will change, fill out, and be the garden pond I wanted... just different. But better I think. Don't give up. Your pond has tons of potential! By the way, do leave un-planted areas to walk around in your garden so your family and visitors can view from various angles. ETA: our back yard was a barren wasteland 11 months ago. You have time. It'll get there. And if you hire a landscaper, again... google pond photos, save them to show the landscaper the feeling you want....See Morecacocobird
8 years agoMichelle Martin
8 years agohtwo82
8 years agoMichelle Martin
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agosylviatexas1
8 years agoStephanie Stokes
8 years ago
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