You brought tears to my eyes....lots of them, lol. This is the first of 14 years that she has let me into her warm heart. Thank you so much!

My niece had this done - actually twice - the first was the band and then 3 years later had the bypass. My SIL had to take a few weeks off from work both times so that she could travel and stay with her. My niece wasn't allowed to lift anything - she couldn't shop or do laundry.

Can you prepare appropriate meals for her? Does she have an eReader? How about any hobbies? My SIL said that she did all the housework, shopping, cooking etc. for her DD and they spent a lot of time watching movies together, or her DD would read or go in the internet. One afternoon out of sheer boredom she taught her how to knit.

Hmmm, flowers? a plant? Aroma therapy candles/lotion?

Nice soft, loose nighty/tunic so it doesn't bind against her tummy? Or a pair of flowing drawsting waisted plazzo pants? I love the aroma therapy idea, as well.

A supply of magazines and dvd's.....no food items..she will most likely be on a liquid only diet for a bit. I second the idea of loose fitting nightgowns since she will probably be housebound for a few weeks.

A pretty robe and slippers...

The only advice I would give is to be careful about food and clothing. You wouldn't want to give a garment that is too large (comfy, but calls her fat) or food that is healthy (judgmental?).

A reacher. Maybe the Robot Claw, which is technically a toy but works well, so it doesn't seem "old" to her. http://www.amazon.com/Toysmith-6130-12-Robot-Claw/dp/B000F4G5KK/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1431279136&sr=8-4&keywords=robot+arm

Healing takes a lot of creative energy, but not doing the things one shouldn't do make one restless. How about a kit of some kind? Embroidery or knitting. Something to do with her hands that doesn't require her to be the creative one. Or, if she doesn't like crafts, a grown up coloring book (Doodle Art or Dover Designs) and a big set of colored markers. http://www.amazon.com/Pro-Bullet-Point-Marker-100-Pack/dp/B0025TZ4VE/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1431279157&sr=8-10&keywords=doodle+art

A gift certificate to have someone come shampoo and blow out her hair.

Fun and stylish accessories like earrings and sunglasses.

A really fabulous tote bag to carry all her gifts in. :)

Happy Mother's Day (stepmothers are mothers too!)

If you think she has enough nightgowns/robes, how about a loose, easy fit sundress/caftan/housedress she can wear during the day? You know, something she can wear when visitors stop by.

Try this website, they seem to have lots of items like that, in sizes up to 5X. Hopefully, you can get her correct size from her sister.

http://www.amerimark.com/crinkle-gauze-sundress/058563.html?viewadult=yes

Hope this link works, have never done it before.

A subscription to Netflix? Maybe some spa certificates so she can pamper herself after she's recovered. A cleaning service for a little while so she doesn't have to worry about that. Some cozy blankets if it's still chilly where you are.

Clothing can be hard as sometimes people take it the wrong way if you buy too big or too small. Though gift certificates to stores for future clothing would probably be appreciated. If she loses weight very fast, all her clothes will be too big. Maybe Macy's or Kohls if you have them in your area.

TLC has a program called "My 600-lb Life" that chronicles people undergoing the surgery and it shows how recovery is for them. Even if your stepdaughter isn't that heavy, it still might be useful to get ideas.

like the netflix idea, mani/pedi, hair salon

i would not do food or clothes

Nice comfortable spa slippers, lotions, spa items like loofah and body wash, a nice basket of those types of things would be great. I would stay away from clothing. A terry head turban for wet hair. She will be having to take it easy for a while so pampering things are good. Magazines, reading material, cross word puzzle books or a big jigsaw puzzle. A good idea is a memory foam curved neck rest pillow! Those are great for reading in bed. I use mine all the time.

Northpoint Trading Memory Foam Travel Pillow · More Info

Like mine I got mine at Academy sports. Here's a cute one.

Best memory foam pillow neck · More Info

Such great and thoughtful ideas, everyone. I'm thinking in terms of personal pampering items....and I love the idea of the grabber thingie! I think we should take one to her in the hospital, with a big bow on it!

I have no earthly idea what size she is, so that's out, but I am going to get her a scarf or batik shawl from NOVICA ; she liked one that I have.

Maybe a basket with some nice lotions and balms, gently scented. I know that she's a mani/pedi girl so a spa treatment would be nice.

At the present time, she's living with her mother while going to graduate school. Her mother and stepfather are both medical professionals so I know that she'll be well taken care of.

Thanks so much for the ideas.

Intended as a positive comment and not in any way an insult, how about giving her a gym membership, including some number of classes or sessions with a personal trainer? A regular exercise program contributes to easier weight control (and better health) at any age.

Many schools have fabulous workout facilities. Maybe some programs or classes are available at her school?

Thanks, Snidely. I'm not so sure about her university, but she sure qualifies for free membership at the terrific fitness center associated with the university where her dad works! The facility ranks as 'fabulous' in my mind.

I wonder if she's thought of that; you can be sure that we'll mention it to her. I go several times a week for yoga, water therapy and aerobics, and fitness training and just love it. I'll ask around about special sessions with a trainer when I go in tomorrow.

Hmm, I guess it depends on the individual. As someone who has struggled with her weight her whole life, I would be horribly embarrassed if someone got me personal trainer sessions as a gift.

Overweight people know they need to exercise and usually the issue isn't access to a gym or cost. I guess there's an accountability benefit to a trainer that could be helpful if she responds to that, but sometimes just going to the gym is the hardest part.

I'm not saying it's a bad idea as I'm sure many people would be thrilled at personal training sessions but I'm just offering another perspective. If she's indicated interest in that sort of thing then I think it's a great idea.

A nice journal or two that she can fill in her progress, highs, lows, and something to look back on as she continues her journey to good health. You might find one that has encouraging phrases on the pages to give her a lift when she needs one, and a note telling her you are there for her any time she needs a shoulder.

"Overweight people know they need to exercise and usually the issue isn't access to a gym or cost."

I've never been thin, and have been on a weight roller coaster through my life too, so I speak as a fellow traveler on the same road and I speak from experience.

An overweight person who gets into a regular exercise routine won't remain overweight. Why do so many who could benefit from physical activity not do so? Not infrequently, it's the same as why they don't curb their eating habits- some combination of excuse making, a lack of personal discipline and/or inadequate motivation to stay on the wagon.

The "I'm not athletic" excuse or "I'm self-conscious about my appearance" excuse are both that, excuses. Many don't care for classes, fair enough, but even strenuous walking for 30 minutes at a crack can be effective and requires no equipment or ability,

Giving someone a membership takes away the excuse. I would check first, no sense spending money on something that would go unused. I question the true "wisdom" of two parent "health care professionals" who would encourage a young person to undergo thoracic surgery before first exhausting all possible efforts to make lifestyle changes. These surgeries allow the person to continue to overeat, hardly a solution to what is a lifetime problem.

An overweight person who gets into a regular exercise routine won't remain overweight.

Not true. And blanket statements like that drive people further and further into unhealthful mindsets.

Well, my point is that people who are overweight understand that they need to eat healthy foods, practice portion control and exercise more. Everyone knows that. And yes, some people make excuses but many of us are just lazy or lack discipline when it comes to food.

And for that reason, I just don't think gifting some classes or a trainer will suddenly help with years of poor discipline. Anyone looking to make serious lifestyle changes needs to be self-motivated or it's going to fail.

I think the classes or trainer would be a great idea if she makes a huge adjustment with her lifestyle after the surgery and starts going to the gym on her own.

I do agree that the surgery is a bad idea if the underlying issues aren't addressed first. Many people fail for that exact reason and gain the weight back after the surgery. That's seen frequently on the program I mentioned earlier, and the doctor constantly reminds them that surgery isn't a magic cure. I'm hoping she's an exception.

pillog, it's simple math, calories in vs calories burned. Someone who isn't gaining weight, but isn't losing, will lose weight by burning more calories through exercise. Or will gain less weight at their calorie intake level. For some, it can also increase their resting metabolism too (to produce even more calories burned) by building muscle mass.

Pillog - two questions for you:
1) What unhealthy mindset are you suggesting will develop by beginning an exercise routine?

2) Finding your comment a bit odd, I'd like to ask, are you overweight?

I would give her a gift card to a clothing store where she can soon begin to buy some nice clothes!. My daughter had that surgery a year ago.. It's a Godsend!

Thank you ALL for your heartfelt comments. You've expressed concerns that Robert and I have, believe me. The one thing that makes me feel better is that she has been thoroughly vetted over a long period of time and had to lose quite a bit of weight on her own before they gave her the green light. Her team of doctors are at a well respected research hospital in Nashville.

I won't go into details about how she (and her sister) got this way, other than the problem isn't a family trait. It started about the time their stay at home mom began picking up fastfood for breakfast and supper every day.

There's no question in my mind that she will love the idea of having a theraputic trainer. We're going to remind her that she qualifies for a free membership to the Fitness Center; we'll bring up the specialized trainer if she seems enthusiastic about regular exercise.

She knows about my 5X a week visits and was very interested.

Redcurls, I've already thought of that.....a shopping trip in a year! She will love that.