Tulsa Rose, please don't tell me that all of those things happened to you today? Forgive me, but I couldn't help but laugh, especially at the phone in the fridge.

Guilty of putting something in the blender with no lid on.

Guilty of getting everything ready in the coffee pot and NOT turning it on, or WORSE, turning it on without the pot underneath it.

Guilty of mistaking a stranger for someone I knew, but I have never bumped her with the cart.

I have also put a pot on to simmer, got a phone call, and forgot about the pot.

Threw my keys in the garbage instead of the garbage I brought in from the car. (and actually walked away from it, garbage still in hand for about 5 minutes)

Couldn't find my glasses because they were on top of my head.

Took a pair of dress pants out of the closet, wore them for most of the day before the panty hose I took off with the pants, the last time I wore them, worked their way out of the bottom.

And last, but not least, wore two different black shoes to work.

While leaving the house, switched my car keys to the other hand and when I got to the car, I began searching my pocket for my keys and wondered, where the heck are my car keys?

Forgetting to put the pot under the drip part of the coffee maker, but remembering to put in the water. Thank goodness they've changed makers to only trigger when the pot is under and ready to catch the water.

Drain off the stock but keep the bones and herbs?

I too have worn a blue shoe and black shoe

Use the wrong car keys on the car, then wonder why it won't unlock or start. (my son's car keys don't work on my car?! really? Duh!)

Looked for my glasses last night. They were on my face. I think I need a new prescription. I know I do.

Tried to take off my glasses because my eyes hurt or to see better, and I was wearing contacts.

Forgot to zip my skirt up before leaving the house.

ROTHFLMBO Caroline. I can just see your situation in my mind. Have to say I'm laughing too! BUT isn't it nice to know you can appreciate all the "Wyoming Buns" in great fitting Wranglers. That is the way life is supposed to be, right!

At the Post Office, scootched down to retrieve mail from box, stepped on hem of ankle length skirt & flashed a poor old guy. I will NEVER forget the look on his face & thank God I NEVER go commando!

Just last week, after making myself a PB&J, I put the pb in the frig & the jelly in the cupboard.

caroline, that's FUNNY!!!!

"Wyoming Buns" in great fitting Wranglers. Two of my all time favorite things!

I'm so happy to read the funny things that have happened to others. Now I don't feel like such a big ol' donkey girl. Fortunately, I have a great sense of humor and find it very easy to laugh at myself. ☺

As I was reading the comments, I was saying "Yep, been there." "Done that." "Oh, I did that, too." Especially related to the panty hose hanging out of the pants leg. I was at work when that happened and it was called to my attention as I walked down the hall. The young man noticing my "trailer" was so sweet and I wanted to crawl in a hole. We did get a good laugh out of it, though.

Put everything in the crockpot but forgot to turn it on. Then another time remembered to turn it on but was not plugged in.

The second time I used a new coffee maker with a thermos carafe I filled the carafe with hot water and put the top on to keep the warmth inside. I put the filter in; put the coffee in the filter; filled the water reservoir...and put the carafe in place. In a few moments there was fresh coffee all over the countertop. I had forgotten to empty the carafe's warming water. The third time I forgot to fill the water reservoir. At least I haven't made the *same mistake* twice!

I've scoured the house for the car keys, late to meet my DH's commuter train, eventually using a spare set. Later I found the missing keys in the fridge, beside the gallon of milk I'd needed two hands to shift into place.

I frequently speak to my DH in a store, only to find that he has wandered off and I'm talking to some other guy...or empty space. (The 'empty space' part looks less 'mental' today, when many people are talking to invisible people via earpiece phones.)

The most embarrassing thing I remember was asking a familiar checker in a grocery when she was 'due'. Oops! No baby; she'd just gained a lot of weight since I'd last been through her checkout line. (Where is that hole in the ground when you need it?)

ROFL at Caroline!

I am rarely if ever guilty of passing gas in a public space. But I did once during a pause in conversation at a formal dinner party. My body let out one short but audible toot. Everyone clearly heard it (no obvious smell associated with it, thank God) but all were polite enough to merely pick up the conversation. Talk about embarrassment. I've not forgotten it even 20 years later.

I can relate to trying to open car door after using the remote unlock in a parking lot. Tug, tug, why won't it open? Oh, right, this isn't my car! Grocery shopping in a daze, loading groceries into a cart and being advised by a man that it was his cart.

I have actually worn shoes of different color. I realized when at work and there was nothing I could do about it!

Oh so many of these hit home these days!

I am always on my scooter when shopping, my husband is usually right behind me with the cart, so I will just point to the item I need and he grabs it. He has started wandering off or not paying attention so there's been a few times I have been flailing my arm pointing at something and some nice person walks up and asked if they could help me with something. I know they likely thought I had a mental challenge. I am always mortified and apologize and explain my husband is supposed to be helping.

I was recently having decompression therapy and they strap you in tightly around the middle with a velcro belt, it really squeezes the heck out of your middle. As the nice girl unbelted me and grabbed my hand to help me up a little toot escaped! I started apologizing and to my horror toot again! Just sound no smell thank goodness! I said well that thing does squeeze it out of you. She was laughing and said yes all the time. Whew it wasn't just me.

Re: decompression therapy/traction-happens all the time, nothing to be embarrassed about ;-)

When I wore heels, I would always buy several colors of whatever style I found comfortable. I wore one black and one navy too many times to count. I finally got wise and stopped buying navy as black shoes looked just fine with navy suits.

Recently, I flew out of a different airport than the one I usually use. As I was driving into the long-term parking garage, there was a sign that said to take your parking ticket with you. I didn't understand why and stuck it above my visor. I got all the way downstairs and realized that you have to pay for your parking upon your return with the ticket at a walk-up kiosk, not at the exit gate. So, I go back to my car to get the ticket. When I arrive at my car, the driver's window is open. I guess I forgot to close it after taking the ticket from the dispenser. Thank goodness I had to go back for the ticket or I'm sure my car would have disappeared while I was away.

The story doesn't end there. When I got back from my trip, I put the ticket into the machine at the walk-up kiosk, paid and received a receipt that you must use to exit the garage. I had some garbage in my hand and threw that away as I entered the garage. I get all the way to my car, load up my luggage and, you guessed it, I cannot find the receipt. I retrace my steps and cannot find it anywhere. THEN, I remember throwing away the garbage. I go back to the garbage can, dig through it and find my receipt...thank goodness.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their funny stories.

I've come to work, more than once, with a dress on inside out or backwards.
Tried to use my cell phone to open the garage door.
Found my glasses in the freezer.
Hadn't carried my clean dresses up from the laundry room the night before.
Got panties, bra, hose and shoes on and started walking out the door to get into my car. Husband said, aren't you missing something? I hadn't stopped at the laundry room to slip a dress on!

Unfortunately, this happens to me a lot because my DH will put things anywhere to clean up. Out of sight, out of mind.

If I were a pair of needle nose pliers, where would I be? In the bathroom cabinet, of course!

LOL, so funny. I'm usually pretty good about keys and stuff, BUT I loathe wearing clothes, so I throw my work clothes on at the last possible minute before I leave the house . . . often in semi darkness, so lots of times I get to work and notice . . . wardrobe malfunctions! Wearing things inside out, wearing things that don't match, two different shoes, etc.

Since I use a small espresso machine, when I forget to put the cup under the spout, it happily makes coffee all over the counter.

I've put broccoli in the steamer pot, and started cooking it, and found several minutes that I forgot to put water in the bottom and the pot is black broccoli now smells like scorched metal.

Once I not only locked my keys in my car, but had left the lights on and left the car running.

Separate an egg intending to use the whites, crack the egg open, pour the yolk from one shell to the other, while the egg white slithers down the drain.

Show up at the airport for a flight only to find the tickets were for the previous day.

Show up at a Halloween ghost story reading party, in an elaborate costume, and found out that it was not a costume party.

bob, you've done some I have done and forgot to remember. Selective memory!

Your last one just means you're more festive than other folks. Whenever I see someone dressed up for Halloween, all I think is, they're so much braver and more fun than I am!

But your flight? Oh no. That's sad :(

I'm feeling much better about my mental state NOW! LOL!

I'm feeling much better about my mental state NOW! LOL!

Me, too! Most days I think I may be losing my marbles. Other days, I'm sure of it. ☺

I have tried to unlock my house with the car clicker, scanned my credit card instead of my key card at work, or entered my debit pin instead of my access code... Im sure I have done other things some already mentioned its good to know we all have those moments.

I pointed my car keys at my office door yesterday to try and unlock it. durrrr

My DD found me talking to a mannequin at a department store! I swear it was a sales person I was talking to!

I have burned through two tea kettles in the last several months - they were the kind that you could prop open the spout lid so that the very piercingly annoying whistle won't blow.. I would walk away and get busy with something and not hear it boiling and of course not hear the whistle which I have stopped from whistling. My new one doesn't have that option. The spout lid can't be propped open. I can't walk away and not hear it.

I am forever bringing out the wrong points card for whatever store I happen to be in.. I now just open my wallet and ask the cashier what store am I in - then I can hand her/him the correct points card.

While on sick leave following triple-bypass heart surgery, two friends decided I needed to get out of the house so they planned to take me to lunch. I was so excited to be going on my first outing! I even wore a new pair of slacks...first time to have pants with full elastic waist for comfort. ☺

We went to a nice, quiet cafeteria that was packed due to it being lunch hour but that was okay. As we were leaving, I attempted to put something in the pocket of my new britches only to discover there were no pockets. Hmmm? That's weird...I always buy garments with pockets. Oh, well, not to worry. Still a lovely luncheon.

As we strolled slowly to the car, one friend jabbed the other with her elbow and pointed to my butt and then they both starting laughing like fools. "Found your pockets, Rosie. You have your pants on backwards." 25 years later, we still get a good giggle out of that event. Now I'm very careful to locate pockets prior to putting on pants. ☺

I once checked out at a grocery store,

handed the cashier my money or card,

& she gave me my receipt & went to the next customer,

& I said, "but where are my groceries?",

& she said, "in the bag hanging over your wrist."

Sylvia, I am LOL! When I first read your post, I thought it said, "in the bag hanging over your wAist." I immediately wondered if you slapped the poo out of her. ☺

LOL! No, no need for that!

(& I've found that people are often kindest when I'm stupidest.)

I've put shirts on backwards, but never pants.

Funny story!

Oh, I am so glad that I am not the only one who does these things....I was sure I was getting dementia and headed to a nursing home!

seems like we spend our whole lives multi-tasking, so the wonder is that this kind of thing isn't worse!

Back in the '60's, you could pay for your groceries and push them outside, go get your car, drive up and someone would come out and load them in your car for you. On more than one occasion, I got home and in the house when I remembered that I never drove up to get my food! My friend did one even better. She left her purse in the cart and got home before remembering it. She also left her 9 month old baby on the dressing table while she took the dirty (cloth) diaper to the bathroom. She told the baby, "Don't move until I get back." About 45 min. later her husband came home from work, went to the bedroom to change clothes and asked her why the baby was sleeping on the dressing table! We laughed about it many times, feeling very fortunate that it didn't end badly.

I wanted to participate in this conversation buy you all took my answers.

Ugh, the remote for the TV looks almost the same as the cordless phone.

Once, I gave my DH a big ol' from-the-behind-hug in the hardware store and waved a paint chip around his head to the the front of his face. "Don't you think this would be PERFECT for the bedroom?" The "huggee" escaped me (the "hugger"), turned around and said "I dunno, lady. I don't sleep in your bedroom." I still turn totally beet red when I think about that one. DH almost wet himself from laughing so hard (he saw and heard the whole thing 'cause he was right behind me in the aisle).

Grabbed a check on the way out to doctors appt. Rearranged a few things in the car, got in, now where did I put that check? Ran back in for another and put it where the first one should have been. Fastened seat belt and began pulling out of the garage when I found the first check still clenched in my teeth.

Kathy D., talking to a store mannequin would be on the list my DD's would NEVER let me forget. :)

This story is not about me although I will admit to doing plenty of dumb things. My sister tells this story, she and her husband share a suitcase when they stay overnight with their son. They went out to dinner at a country club. While eating she looks across the table and he has on her blouse complete with shoulder pads. I laugh every time I think about this.

I've done a lot of stupid things. Here is the latest.

I had just showered was in the bedroom when dh decided to skype my sister. I dove under the covers so she wouldn't see me naked. Dh takes off his shirt and gets in bed next to me. I'm looking at the picture of the two of us there and realize it looks like we are both in bed naked and that is what my sister is looking at. I started giggling and then I tooted. So then I giggled even harder and tooted again. At that point my dh laughs and makes some comments. My sister hung up because we were too goofy for her.

breen2, that was at least 4 or 5 years ago and I heard her telling it to her 11 year old! Can't wait to catch her in something screwy! But, then I'll probably forget it........LOL. Kathy G in MI

I've posted on and read this topic, and thought to myself, 'wow, at least I didn't do THAT!'.

Well, this morning, DH and I did a few errands, and as I was standing in the check-out line at Lowes, I looked down at my feet and realized...I'm wearing my slippers.

Now, these slippers aren't pink, fuzzy scuffs, but still, when I looked down below the cuff of my denim pants and saw the faux fur trim poking out, I had to laugh at myself!

I do a lot of stupid things... but yesterday a friend drove her car to meet a bus that took us early in the morning to a dinner theater in a large city.....when we got back about 9 hours later, she started looking for her car keys...none to be found, so she thought she had left them in her car.....she did alright, and left the motor running also!....good thing she started with a full tank of gas! It was good for a laugh.

While having dinner in a lovely restaurant with my (ex) fiance, he said something that was very hurtful and totally uncalled. I placed my napkin beside my plate, picked up my purse and said, "I'll wait for you in the car." I sat in the car for 15-20 minutes, crying my eyes out and finally admitting to myself I could no longer tolerate being treated poorly by someone who supposedly loved me. Needless to say, the jerk finished his meal, came to the car, tapped on my window and said, "What the hell are you doing?"

Wait for it...

I was in the wrong car! I didn't know whether to continue crying or burst out laughing. As usual, laughter saved the day. I very calmly got out of the strange vehicle and told him to "KMA," went back in the restaurant and called a cab. When I got home, he was sitting in the driveway and couldn't understand why I told him to hit the road and don't come back. That may seem drastic to some people but it was the culmination of six months of verbal abuse that I knew would destroy my self-esteem if I allowed it to go any further.

Long story short...never looked back, never regretted my decision. But I still laugh outloud when I think about sitting in the wrong car. I'm sure the owner's of the car must have wondered where the pile of used tissues came from. ☺

I can finally contribute to this conversation. It's more of a safety issue but so easily done (for me).

I have a little induction hotplate that I use on top of the stove so that I can use the ceiling fan. I always put the burner on top of a cutting board, on the stove.

Sure enough, yesterday, out of habit I turned on the stove burner instead of the induction. After a couple of minutes, I thought something smelled like wood burning. Yikes! I have a nice little electric coil "branded" onto my cutting board.

That's the exact reason I use a cutting board.