Thank you notes and the lack thereof

veronicasgrandma

What's your experience with getting thank you notes for wedding gifts over the past few years? At this point, I'd take a verbal thank you or even a text message. I'm more than just a little annoyed that I've been getting nothing. Same goes for graduation gifts. I realize young brides and new graduates are busy, but like I said, I'd be happy with a text message thank you. When I get nothing, time after time, I feel like not going to the trouble anymore. I wasn't able to attend a wedding last November, so in January I sent the couple a gift. By the way, they are in their late 30's. I talked to the bride via email a couple times that month and she said nothing. Finally i made a comment about the gift, like i was wondering if you had a chance to use the gift card yet i was hoping you were able to find something at that store (because cards can get lost in the mail). She answered oh yeah we did and we got something, it's a nice store. Not even a thank you response to my email! I have to say that my own children are far from perfect but they do send out thank you notes or at least make a phone call. I'm finding this more and more common with couples of all ages. Is anyone else noticing this trend? Or maybe it isn't a trend and it's just who I'm associated with, lol

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nancylouise5me

Usually I receive a thank you note no later then a month after the wedding. Couples are away on their honeymoon. When they get back they are setting up their house or apartment. So I cut them some slack. But I can't think of one gift that hasn't been acknowledge with a thank you note. For graduation gifts it may take a bit longer. Teens and young adults aren't known for their punctuality. lol But they do eventually write the thank yous. The moms and dads that I know are still teaching the kids that it is proper/good manners to thank the people that thought enough about them to care to send a gift. Be it money, gift card or a toaster, it needs to be acknowledged. Or like you, you will wonder if they received it or not. I have not as yet received an email or texted thank you. It would be different, but everyone is on their ipads, phones, or computers now so that is the new way I guess. If I didn't receive one, I would ask the next time I saw the person. Had they received/used the gift? That I hadn't received my thank you card. Simple as that. I haven't noticed that people are sending them less to answer your question. And I hope it stays that way. NancyLouise

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gellchom

Same here. I send a lot of wedding gifts, and I don't recall the last time, if ever, we didn't get a written note (although it's possible I wouldn't notice, especially if I don't really know the couple, just their parents). I've never gotten thanks by email or phone for a wedding gift. For a graduation or birthday gift, I think that in many cases that would be fine, though.

I do agree with you that written thank you notes are essential for wedding gifts. I only part company with you on your singling out "young brides" for criticism -- the grooms are equally responsible for writing the notes.

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Beverly Hills

I find that people today don't bother to say thank you, for the most part. Bad manners and bad grammar are the order of the day, unfortunately. I used to send my (adult) nephew a check for his birthday, never any response. The last time, I wrote "Thank you, Aunt Scarlett" on the back where he had to endorse the check. He didn't get the hint, so I just stopped sending him anything.

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sunnydj47

I agree with the bad manners and bad grammar when it comes to sending thank you notes...I don't care how busy the new couple might be, they need to take the time to acknowledge the gift...My own son and his new bride took forever and, honestly, I was embarrassed....

I have a very good friend that is very generous with her kids and grandkids..She would tell me about not receiving a note about her checks and finally, this last Christmas, she did include stamped, addressed post cards that had her own little message on it (thank you Mom for the check, etc.)...Of her 6 kids, 5 cards came back quickly, the last one came in March....

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