Maid of honor unable to attend bridal shower??

Alicia Adams

Good afternoon everyone!

So I'm in a bit of a sticky situation.

My college roommate, who got engaged at the end of February, was unable to have her best friend in her hometown to be her MOH due to her being out of the country this summer, so I'm her honorary MOH- which I LOVE except for the short notice and the 8 hour distance from our respective towns. And this is why:

My family had planned a graduation trip for me to see my grandma (who's recently gotten very sick and is on oxygen now) for the weekend after we graduate before they even got engaged- the problem is the bride-to-be's home church shower is that same weekend and I'll have to miss it and she's really hopeful & expectant that I go.

I've put on a fairly elaborate shower here for all of our college friends and plan to be there for the wedding week, but don't know how to tell her I can't be there for the shower because I feel like it'll honestly hurt her feelings a lot.

Does anyone have advice for this?? I honestly feel like I can't not go to see my grandma because I don't think I have that much time left with her, but also don't think my roommate would understand. So how do I break the news to her without damaging our relationship?

Comments (3)
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

There's nothing to do but tell her, and as soon as possible. If she's a total Bridezilla, you can't do anything about it. If she's a sensitive mature person, she'll understand that you need to visit your grandmother. You can't control someone's reaction, except to be honest and tell her ASAP.

1 Like Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

It's really hard for me to believe that any bride wouldn't understand the situation with your grandmother. And it wouldn't even be acceptable for her to be angry if this were her only shower, but it's not! So she has absolutely nothing to complain about. At this point, your grandmother comes first, tell her as soon as possible and if she doesn't understand I'd let her go to the next person on her list for a MOH.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I agree. Maybe she doesn't expect it as much as you do -- I'd actually be surprised for you to go given the distance, the other shower, etc., even without the situation with your grandmother. At most I think she will be a little disappointed, not truly upset. If she is, she is being awfully childish for someone who is supposed to be grown up enough to get married! But you'd still have to deal with it, I guess -- so just deal with it if it happens, and know you aren't doing anything wrong.

What is an "honorary" MOH? Sounds like you're her MOH, period. Which still doesn't mean you have to attend this shower!

1 Like Save    
Browse Gardening and Landscaping Stories on Houzz See all Stories
Life Modern Manners for Conflict-Free Family Visits
Avoid thermostat wars, pet peeves and the great shower squeeze with these tips for having family as houseguests
Full Story
Feel-Good Home Simple Pleasures: Treasuring the Gift of Grandparents
You can enrich your family life by bringing generations together for shared meals, quilting projects, storytelling
Full Story
Bathroom Design 18 Dream Items to Punch Up a Master-Bath Wish List
A designer shared features she'd love to include in her own bathroom remodel. Houzz readers responded with their top amenities. Take a look
Full Story