Regardless of the item, I've learned that my nieces (teens & 20s) don't want *ANYTHING* that isn't brand new and top-of-the-line. It's a whole new generation and they have absolutely zero attachment to or sentimental value for 'things' of the past.

FWIW, your first sentence makes me think there might be a little tension in your relationship. lol!

Swallow your pride grandma. Put it back for your memories. If you can afford too buy her new things. All new mom's want something new for their babies, didn't you at the time? I also saved my sons baby clothes, over 50 years old. As I looked at them when my first grandchild was about to be born I thought what was wrong with me? I wouldn't have put my babies in something that my mom had saved. We were all girls, and he would have looked so silly. I still have the blankets I brought my babies home from the hospital. Guess what they didn't want them either. My memories not theirs. So let your daughter make new memories and you too. Enjoy that grandbaby it will make your world. Mine do.

Grandma Mary

I think it's normal for a new mom to want all new stuff. She wants that experience of picking out everything for her baby. It doesn't sound like she handled it in the most graceful way, but maybe give her a pass as her temperament may be affected by being 8 months pregnant.

And safety standards have changed a lot over the last 30 years or so, and just because something wasn't recalled then doesn't mean it is as safe as what's available today. You have to be really careful, especially for a newborn, and especially when they are sleeping. I honestly would not use it either. I am very sentimental but safety is the most important thing.

Maybe you could set up the bassinet as decoration and hold stuffed animals in it? Or what about making something else? You mentioned you saved clothes - if you sew, could you maybe turn them into a quilt for the baby?

Just try not to take it personally. It sounds like you are just trying to help, and you want to be involved. This is a very exciting and scary time in her life. Definitely pick your battles. There will be many things that she does regarding your grandchildren that you don't agree with.

Might you pose Baby in the basinette long enough for a photo? This is the least of the problems I envision for a DD who wants "Best of Everything" on a single income. Will the child's father be providing child support?

I really like the idea of having it used for baby needs when your DD is visiting. Even if she doesn't care, you have the use of memories.

My DD was not sentimental about the heirlooms. I saved a dress that I had as a baby, and I would put my DD in it occasionally. She didn't want it for her DD so I put the baby in it and took a photo, and I have put it back in case someone in the future might cherish it. New mothers want new, fresh stuff and many aren't sentimental. The joy of the newborn will soon be here.

Motherhood and its learning curve often bring wisdom. Keep your beautiful bassinet, and if someday down the road your daughter has another baby she may treasure both having it, and that you kept it.

I would be grateful for the joy and blessing of of grand child, and stop making HER baby about YOU ;-)

This is just NOT the way to start off. There will be many times that you will feel slighted, or ignored or whatever, so you'd better learn right now to pick your battles very, very carefully.

Choose wisely.

Congratulations on the new baby!!

I echo the idea of putting all the baby things in it when you have your new granddaughter over. And I also love the idea of her using it for her own baby dolls when she is older. I think being able to watch her enjoy it that way would create even more memories.

Agree with Woodie2. Save it for your granddaughter to play with. Mine loves it when I pull old "treasures" out. Wish I would've saved more "stuff" for her.

I think it would be very cute in the baby nursery filled with stuffed animals and baby toys and supplies. Ask her if she would like to have it for that and have her new one for the baby to be in. I kept the old white wicker one that has been in the family for years. I never used it for babies but I did have it in my wicker room filled with big beautiful plants it was gorgeous. I completely lined it with thick plastic and put a tray in the bottom to set the plants in. I had a couple that trailed over the sides.

They don't have to only hold a baby!

Years later in a different house I had it in one of the bedrooms with some old baby blankets and a few stuffed animals in it. I walked in one day and found one of my cats nestled up in there with the other animals very cozy! It became his new favorite hide away.

Saving the bassinet for you granddaughter to play with is a brilliant idea! That way, she'll use it for years and have actual memories of it.

Take lots of photos, too.

As Mimi said: choose your battles, and this is one you don't need to have. I know you are disappointed, but let it go; it's unimportant on the scale of things. The important thing is to have a strong, happy relationship with your daughter and her family. I like the donation idea. As for the other things you have saved, ask her if she would be interested in this or that, and if not, donate or save for whatever.

I've had some real disappointments along the way with grandchildren too. But I've learned that the love for a new little one and the experience of watching her learn and grow will overshadow everything else. Congratulations, and let us know when she arrives.

Same story here, my daughter and daughter in law are very safety conscious (not a bad thing) and things have changed in regard to safety since my kids were born.

On the other hand, bassinets are lovely to decorate with. I'd be nervous that the baby might pull it over onto herself if toys were stored in it though.

I'm not sure that I agree with the sentiment that todays new moms "want" new and the best of everything. My nieces research the heck out of everything and rightly so. They look for where things are made, what are they made of, do the products have off-gassing products in them, what is the quality of construction (remember the eyes of teddy-bears becoming a choking hazard a few years ago?), etc. With all of the safety recalls on baby goods and everyday items (toothpaste, cat food,....) it has become ingrained in them to be suspicious of product especially for their new born.

When my first son was born my MIL insisted on my using my DH's crib from when he was a baby. It didn't remotely meet any safety standards but "oh his grandfather has fixed it so it does". I won that battle as I did all the others. You don't want to go there. I love the idea of setting it up as a storage for the baby - diapers, wipes, onsies...

Provide hugs and cuddles and reading time and gift cards. That's what I do.

Yes, take the baby's picture in it and then hopefully DD will allow you to keep it out for supplies, stuffed animals and dollies.

I have our original nursery furniture from 1984.....it is unique, modern lines, made in Germany, but I anticipate none of my kids will want it. I was just reading an article about how this generation is not sentimental. I have saved a lot of their stuff in the basement and when we retire and move away I bet they will toss most of it.

Ditto to what everyone else said. Enjoy the baby. The rest is just stuff and not worth fretting over.

I had the opposite situation when I was expecting my first, I had the bassinette all picked out but the week before I got it, my mil showed up with one that she bought and she had made the most beautiful covering which would cost a fortune today. It was nothing like what I wanted but I accepted it and she was thrilled.
My own grown children would react just like yours. When we downsized we got rid of all our antiques etc. Not one of them wanted anything so I sent it all to auction. They aren't even interested in my find jewelry. I wanted to give the grands some and they felt it wasn't suitable lol. These kids have so much that they get what they want all the time. Luckily they all work hard for it so I have no problem with them declining anything. It was really nice of you to save it and ask her but she's got her own ideas and that's fine.

My kids are older than 25, but I had to look up "bassinette" to find out what it was. I remembered the term, but not what it looked like. Obviously, I never used one with my babies. Nor did I use what mothers are using now--the "pack 'n' play" units, infant swings, etc. Times change.

As others have said, I hope you will move beyond your hurt feelings. You and your daughter can bond over this baby. Try to make sure differences in parenting decisions don't undermine this.

LOL, is about all I can add. :)

My daughter sewed, and bought all new for baby number one, Allison. Then came Nathan.

Now, she buys at the used kids clothing store.

We all have to learn.

Moni

My mother saved my nicest baby clothes -- for my doll. I loved that my doll had such pretty things that were so much nicer than doll clothes. Plus the T-shirts and frilly diaper covers.

Perhaps you'll find a lovely baby sized doll (9-12 mo. is a good size) and you can set her up with the bassinet, and receiving blankets and all, and collect pretty clothes from your granddaughter too. It seems appreciation for older things skips a generation. :)

Here's an article from the Washington Post that I recently read:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/boomers-unwanted-inheritance/2015/03/27/0e75ff6e-45c4-11e4-b437-1a7368204804_story.html

Millennials don't want our stuff!

You are NOT alone ;-)

What an interesting article. Thanks for sharing it.

What everyone says makes sense. I certainly don't want to "fight" with my daughter over something trivial. I will set up the bassinet in the spare bedroom as a piece of furniture and use it to hold clothing,toys,bedding, diapers, whatever. As a matter of fact, I did not keep the sheets for it so it isn't currently useful as a baby bed anyway. The "backstory", for anyone interested, is that I always felt slighted by my husband's (now dead) Mother and her daughters. . The Witchy Woman (MIL) deliberately sabotaged my bridal shower years ago and I never had kind feelings for her. Now, she was a real "saver". She had saved the baby bassinet her three children (including my husband) had used. Her daughter had the first baby in the family and she was given the "family bassinette". I saw her two kids use that bassinette as infants and it looked so charming. When I was pregnant, I even asked SIL if she'd give it to me . She said "Oh, I don't have it anymore." I was too shy to ask what happened to it. So I went to a baby store and bought a brand new, expensive, white wicker bassinet for my own kids. I used it for my 2 daughters, then lovingly cleaned and put it away in the attic. So, I was "hurt" when DD said she didn't want it. By the way, at the shower she got lots of brand new baby clothes. As she was sorting and putting them away, she actually threw out anything that had a cloth size tag sewn on it, saying the tags might irritate the bay's skin or come off and cause choking. Now isn't that silly?

I don't blame her. I didn't want hand me down stuff but it was forced on me. I resented it. I do have a few of my DD baby clothes. I asked her if she wanted them and she kept them for my grandaughter's dolls. Works for me. The only thing my daughter has used is my baptismal gown. My DD was baptised in this gown and now my granddaughter. That was special to all of us and it is small enough to store. Pick your battles and let your daughter have what she wants for her little one.

Vicsgirl, what a good idea to keep the bassinet for toys, etc. If baby is at your home from time to time, you'll develop a collection of "stuff" she enjoys or needs. I have a growing collection which I keep in a laundry basket.

You've got a lot of history with bassinets! Put it all behind you, lean back and just wait for the new babe's arrival.

As for the cloth tags, I wouldn't want to see that either, throwing away useful clothing. I've seen my kids throw away things I felt should go to a thrift shop; I just cringe. As adults our kids do things which make us scratch our heads. We must have done it to our parents (except you and me, of course!).

Sending you a hug. I can tell you are going through an emotional spell. Hang in there.

vicsgirl, your daughter sounds like a very nervous first time mom!

What I like to say is do your best Stepford Wife smile and nod copiously!

I just need to say that I hope I didn't seem to minimize your hurt feelings about the bassinette, I was just trying to think of something positive to be able to enjoy it. I know that probably everybody has had their feelings hurt by a loved one at some time or another and we've maybe been the one to do the hurting, although hopefully unintentionally. It makes me sad to read your story about your unkind MIL and SIL. I hope that sharing this story helps you get through this emotional time and that you come through it joyfully and with love for your daughter and granddaughter.

Everyone is different, I know, and there's a male/female divide on this, but I honestly have no emotional attachment to "things". If there's something I have that evokes pleasant memories, I take a photo of it.

Otherwise, everything of mine is subject to a 3 Year rule. If I don't use it in three years, I don't need it, it can be discarded. My wife doesn't exactly feel the same way, but I'm working on her and she's coming around.

Try it, there's no better feeling than a run to the dump. Or to a charity-run thrift store, where you can share your good experiences with an item with someone less fortunate than you.

Thanks everyone for your opinions. I'll try to forget my hurt feelings over this. In five weeks I'll be able to see and hold my very first Grand-daughter. That will certainly push away any "hurt" feelings. By the way, I used to love going to antique stores, flea markets, garage sales, estate sales, etc. I bought two sets of silverplate flatwear, which I stuck in the attic to give to my two daughters as wedding gifts. They may not want that, either.

Oh I'm so excited for you. Let us know when she arrives.

Our memories are just that. OUR memories. Unless you have a long history of dialogue about a special cradle, bassinet, blanket etc. these items might not seem special to the receiver. (Just old and worn)

I am sure there are those out there who will cherish these "heirlooms ", but your DD is not one of them.

I say try to create a special memory with your daughter. For example, for years I took pictures of my daughters in a rocking chair. Some plant a tree and take pictures with the child as the tree and child grow etc.

Everyone is different and has the right to be so. Find out what is special in your daughter's way of thinking and go from there.

P.S. I also find it horrifying that perfectly good clothing was thrown in the trash. Your DD needs to learn where the nearest clothing donation bin is located.

With my first baby, I avoided lace and ruffles out of concern for her comfort. As a result, I ended up buying boys' clothes without meaning to. I would take her out, dressed in her cotton knit overalls and striped shirts, and wonder why so many strangers thought she was a boy. LOL

But throwing out new clothes--and gifts yet--because of neck tags is an extreme response. Maybe we can blame pregnancy hormones. These days I cut neck tags out of my own clothes sometimes because I don't like the feel of them.

Oh, I rescued the baby clothes with "tags" on them that she didn't want. They didn't stay in the trash.They have already been donated to charity. After her shower, I collected the cardboard boxes the larger gifts came in, folded them up and made sure they got recycled properly. MY DD laughed at me over the cardboard...

I second everything that Sylvia said!

I think someone could have been a dad bit spoiled growing up? She will soon learn the meaning of money! Hopefully anyway...

Well I applaud you for correctly disposing of the cardboard! And for rescuing the clothes. Maybe you can have special days with your daughter and new granddaughter, leisurely passing down some basic mending skills while the baby sleeps, like how to reattach parts of DGD's favorite stuffies and how to remove an itchy tag from a garment...

I agree with welcoming the new baby, but from what you've written, your DD sounds like she is living in la-la land. Does she have any experience with caring for a baby? Is she self-supporting?

It's probably about safety concerns. The little (plastic) car carriers we used to use in the 60's are certainly not to be used today. Things are ever changing.

And like you, she wants to pick out her baby's own bassinet. Ha! think of it like this,wait until she tries to pass her babies items down to her children. The answer will be the same. NO.

Here you can't sell or give children's crib, car seats, etc. due to there could be something wrong like car seats a tiny crack from a car accident and next time kills the baby in it. Cribs are so many regulations on them and they will say too old and won't take. If you sell or give and something happens, you are liable for it. Its tough now to what do you do with those kids things. Some pass on to friends that are expecting to save money.
Have you seen the cost of new things, I couldn't believe it, you have to be a millionaire to buy baby things, over three hundred for car seats and the size of them too, wow. And strollers are expensive and all kinds of fancy types to buy and use and cribs and highchair. Even baby toys are out of this world in prices.
Also car seats,etc. do expire and can't be used for anything.

If it's a little girl, save it for her dolls. Do girls play with dolls anymore? :)

Girls AND boys play with baby dolls (or bears, or whatever) and nurture them. Both also play with action figure/roll playing dolls. Girls still play with on trend street fashion dolls to a slightly older age, but they're less inclined to play with more mainstream Barbies at a younger age. Very few girls past the age of 8-9 play with fashion dolls at all. They'd rather be their own fashion models, and want to do and create and make, and will use an app to design clothes (and buildings and space stations) rather than dressing up Barbies in ways that their moms wouldn't even dress. Even at a younger age, fairies and firefighters, dolls with stories and imagination play, are more appealing than dress up dolls.

IMHO what you want at age 25 (young & think you know everything) can be very different from what you would love to have when you are 45. Do we become more sentimental as we age?

Sound like a great doll bed. I remember my grandmother having one, a bassinet doll bed, in her attic that we loved playing with.

It sounds to me like the perfect thing to have handy when grand babies come to visit. Let it go. There is no accounting for taste, sentimentality, the motivations of a young mom. When we visited my mom our babies slept in an emptied dresser drawer!! At my MIL's they slept in her saved bassinet their father slept in. My SIL purchased an expensive travel bed, her kids were too_______for the old bassinet. To each his own and there is no controlling it!!

I'm definitely keeping the bassinette, will set it up at my house and use it to hold clothes,toys,diapers,etc. Later, it folds up or can remove the legs and give it to "baby" , she can use it for dolls or stuffed animals or whatever. By the way, my daughter is, yes, spoiled, and very stubborn. But she is basically a good, smart girl. She's self-supporting, has a good job, attending college and will finish her degree in May, lives with the baby's father. He is a decent guy, has acknowledged the baby, even went to her Baby Shower (with his own parents). He has a great job, works at a VA hospital as a nurse (Has a Masters Degree), and he has even said he will put Baby Girl on his heath insurance when she is born. So things are pretty good for her. And a bassinette is just a "thing" and I'm past having hard feelings about it. Now that silverplate in the attic...

The father will add his DD to his health insurance after she is born? Who will be paying the maternity costs? Will he pay child support? Since they are so *together*, what's standing in the way of marriage? (He will have no say-so about the child unless he is her legal parent.) We all hope for a rosy scenario for your DD, her 'boyfriend' and their child...but stuff happens.

My son had a doll. And cars, camping, cooking, kite flying, and crochet.... he likes all activities. So yes, kids do still play with dolls. Regardless of gender. I agree, keep it for dolls and backup for your house.

Just remember that when you had your babies, you wanted to parent them your way, not your mothers / mother-in-law's way. That includes which items to use. The bassinet your babies slept in may in fact be unsafe with fumes you cannot detect (I think there may be a link there, between mattress fumes and SIDS), maybe lead paint, who knows. And it's probably just plain out-of-style too in her view, and for the mom to have something cute to put the baby in makes the baby all the cuter. :) It's really quite alright. I think it's important to back off and let her do things the way she feels is best, and let her be the grown up she is to make her own decisions without making her feel guilty over it. I'm just guessing you are, whether you're trying to or not, since you're still mentioning hurt feelings. I'm sure that her choice is nothing against you, it's just that she sees things in a different way than you, and that's OK! :) This is her life and her baby, she should feel free to parent her way (just like you did), and with your support and help. Let her know you think she's an excellent mother (she'll have enough self doubt as it is, we all do). Praise her. I'm preparing myself for all of the same; I'm talking to myself just as much as to you, here. I felt very strongly about how I parented my babies and kids (still do), and I'm bracing myself for when my teens are grown and have their own kids. I know I'll be tempted to say a lot of things, offer a lot of suggestions, but I'm going to have to let them be and just be the gramma smooching and spoiling. I really look forward to it, actually! Congratulations! Go do the grandma thing and love that little girl (and the big girl!) to pieces as soon as she arrives!

Why should the silverplate stay in the attic? Tea parties!