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12 Tips for Happily Combining Households

Joining forces may seem easy compared to merging all your stuff under one roof. These pointers can help you keep the peace

Laura Gaskill September 3, 2012

Houzz Contributor. I cover decorating ideas, Houzz tours & the monthly home maintenance checklist. My favorite pieces to write center around the emotional aspects of home and savoring life's simple pleasures. Decluttering course + discount for Houzzers: https://www.lauragaskill.com/welcome-houzzers

Houzz Contributor. I cover decorating ideas, Houzz tours & the monthly home maintenance... More

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If you are planning to merge two households, you may need to address everything from duplicate items and treasured family heirlooms to furnishings of questionable taste (and plenty of clutter). Moving in together, while exciting, can also potentially be the cause of some heated arguments and hurt feelings if tastes and housekeeping styles clash. Be proactive and pave the way for a smooth transition with these helpful tips.

Modern Living Room by Madison Modern Home

Madison Modern Home

1. Commit to clear and open communication. Be respectful of each other and acknowledge right from the beginning that sharing space (and making decisions about what stays and what goes) can be an emotional process. When you have something to say that could be perceived as criticism, try framing it in a positive statement. For instance, "I do love how comfy that chair is, but it's been through a lot. I bet we could extend its life — and make it go better with the rest of our stuff — if we had it re-covered. What do you think?"

Contemporary Living Room Contemporary Living Room

2. Take ample photos and measurements of your new place. Even if it means making an extra appointment to go back, do it! Having the measurements and images to refer to while you're planning will be invaluable and save plenty of headaches (and arguments) on moving day, helping you avoid situations like the couch failing to fit through a doorway.

Eclectic Dining Room by Julie Holloway

3. Take the easy road. Pick and choose favorites from each person's belongings first, setting aside the things you both love or need. It feels good to start off on an agreeable note. And when you come to a point of contention ("How could you possibly like that chair?") simply agree to disagree (for now) and revisit the issue at a later date.

Eclectic by Annie McElwain Photography

Annie McElwain Photography

4. Get rid of duplicates. Size up every last item and choose the best example: the sharpest, highest-quality knives, the best mixer etc. It can be tempting to keep multiples just because they are high quality, but bear in mind the amount of cupboard and closet space in your new abode before burdening yourselves with excess stuff. Set a date to give away or sell the duplicates you will not be keeping, and stick to it.

Traditional Bedroom by Adrienne Chinn Design

Adrienne Chinn Design

5. Restrain yourself from criticizing family heirlooms. A lot of emotion can be attached to pieces that have been handed down in a family. Not to mention they tend to be high quality and worth keeping. If a piece of furniture is not your style or feels a bit fusty and outdated, try mixing it up with fresh cushions or drawer pulls.

Eclectic Living Room by Ryland Peters & Small | CICO Books

Ryland Peters & Small | CICO Books

6. Handle differences gently. Does your partner love something you can't stand? Trying to force him or her to get rid of something near and dear is likely to backfire, causing resentment and hurt feelings. Begin the conversation by empathizing with your partner about the love for the piece in question, and then state your case in a straightforward, nonjudgmental way. Before giving in (or causing a major row) see if he or she wouldn't mind having the piece repainted, refinished or re-covered with new material to update it and help it fit in better with your other decor. Or suggest putting the item in question in a room that's more out of the way. Remind your partner that you are also willing to compromise on something important to you.

Eclectic Home Office by Emily McCall

7. Take time before the move to plan room schemes. This doesn't need to get complicated. Just talk through each room in the new place and discuss where you will put what. It may be helpful to make some rough sketches or take notes so you remember what you decide on. Refer to the photos and measurements you took during your home tour or open house.

Traditional Closet by California Closets Southdale

California Closets Southdale

8. Edit your closets beforehand. Be honest with each other about how much square footage you are used to having for your clothes and accessories. If there are too many clothes to fit everything in the bedroom closet at once, try sorting your clothes and accessories based on the seasons and store out-of-season stuff in a less accessible spot. You can also move bulky, heavy items like shoes and coats to a secondary closet outside the bedroom. If you don't have an obvious place for extra clothing storage, try installing high shelves over doorways or keep slim boxes under the bed.

Contemporary Home Office by Niche Interiors

Niche Interiors

9. Discuss working habits and requirements for a home office. Do you or your partner work best in peace, or would you welcome a little company? Avoid potential conflicts by addressing this issue now, especially if one or both of you work from home.

Modern Living Room by Adrienne Chinn Design

Adrienne Chinn Design

10. Rotate small decorative pieces for fairness and to keep things fresh. Like rotating clothes on a seasonal basis, consider swapping out decor every few months, incorporating pieces from each of your collections. Keep what's not currently being used in storage bins with lids, tucked in an out-of-the-way closet or in the basement.

Modern Modern Living Room

11. Keep an open mind. Sometimes context makes all the difference. That neon sign that seems tacky in your partner's current flat could read as ironic and cool in your new home together, when paired with a subtle color palette and the sleek, midcentury finds you like to hunt for together on weekends. If your significant other is dead set on keeping something that is not your style, agree to at least try it in the new place — with the understanding that you do have veto power if it doesn't work out. Of course, you will have to be willing to do the same for your partner.

Traditional Dining Room by Your Friends & Neighbors

Your Friends & Neighbors

12. Mix it up with an art wall that is a joint effort. Break the ice in the new place by combining your posters, prints and other artwork in a collaborative gallery wall that mixes and matches both of your tastes.

Tell us: Share your best story about merging two sets of stuff into one in the Comments section!

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Comments (29)

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kirstieparker

Cramming everything into one small bedroom in a sharehouse was difficult.. solution: leave everything you don't need at your parents house :)

Like January 29, 2015 at 5:11PM

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Georgie

I tried making a chores list which everyone then ignored :(

Like January 29, 2015 at 5:17PM

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maudiej

"Committed to clear conversation" must include things you would never imagine would even need discussing: Tomatoes/honey/chocolate - in the fridge or out of the fridge? Pens - one in every place you might need one or all together in one place where everyone knows where they are? Is it absolutely necessary that there is one of every kind of screwdriver in the kitchen drawer when the garage is just a short walk down the drive for that one time a year we need them? Where is the line between 'retro cool' and 'junk' and how do we find it? Why in a lounge room 20ft by 14ft with a 22inch TV do we need a 4 x 27inch speaker sound system? Just for example.

3 Likes February 3, 2015 at 10:11PM

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