One of the biggest problems I have is that my husband is a good guy. He is not mean, he is not a jerk... he is a good father and he loves me like crazy. I just chose poorly when I was too young to be making that kind of a decision because I was afraid of being hurt after being in a very bad relationship with a guy who made me feel like crap for over a year and then finally dumped me... I married the first man I knew would never hurt me. I didn't realize that there were many ways of being hurt and being left was just one of them. I'm not sure I would say I was miserable... yet. I was definitely not happy, but I threw myself into other things and like I said, spent a lot of time convincing myself I was happy with what I had even if what I had didn't make me happy. I think in general that is not a bad philosophy in life, when you are talking about things like the couches you have when you cannot afford new ones or things like that... but, at least in my experience, it is not sustainable for life when choosing a mate, even if it is a useful mechanism to keep from being unhappy about EVERYTHING in your life. IMO it is probably healthiest to strive for a balance between pursuit of better things in life and not living your life perpetually dissatisfied with EVERYTHING. But at our core I think we are just maybe not so compatible. I have changed myself as much as I can to be more compatible with him and I find myself not liking the person I have become very much. I find myself extremely depressed at the thought that this is all there is. I have an excellent, extremely intelligent and well read therapist who has been my lifeline in all of this, but unfortunately she won't let me move in with her and hold my hand through all of this :-p. I would also say to be very very very wary of allowing a man outside of your marriage to fill any voids in your marriage. "Just" conversation can easily turn into other attachments. That's how I fell completely head over heels for this other guy. Do not underestimate the power of having your soul finally given the things that it has been craving. I may be 36 but I was stupid and I was naive to think that what happened could never happen to me. I had (and really still have) very little self esteem and did not believe that anyone could feel about me the way he does and I allowed myself to be reckless. Our conversations were in many ways like movie scripts... I could not believe the rush of having a "partner" who could match me in witty banter and expressiveness rather than just absorbing everything I have to offer like a sponge. He has an uncanny way of hearing what I mean rather than what I say and after so many years of hiding my true feelings and having a "game face" on and feeling so alone, you cannot believe the power of finally feeling seen for what I am, understood and loved for it. My husband is highly intellectual and doesn't "get" beauty... he doesn't get the value of it in your life in any capacity and he certainly does not feel that way about me... he just "doesn't see the world that way" and he "has to be true to himself." I also completely underestimated the power of being 36 years old and being told for the first time that you are beautiful... and then having it happen over and over and over again. So was I miserable? If I was, I did not know it until a different way of being was shoved right there in front of my face. It's maybe not the best way to reevaluate your life because there is a lot of guilt involved. But I'm just saying... do not underestimate the power of "just conversation." That is the core of any emotional affair... having your needs met by someone other than your partner. I'm not sure at what point it becomes that slippery slope, because I had certainly had very close male friends before at other points in my marriage, but I suppose it is at the point where he feels the same way about you that you feel about him and you start talking about feeling like you are soulmates... things have definitely gone too far :-p. My life is a mess and it started with an innocent enough conversation, reminiscing about the past (I dated him half my lifetime ago) and talking about how nice it was to be "friends" again after all of this time. Obviously one size doesn't fit all and I still believe men and women can be friends without trouble, but I was beyond naive in this case. I figured my heart was "welded shut" against him too but... "surprise!"

Here is another Recipe, below. I use my Braided Bread Recipe , something like this one. But cut back on the sugar. Not sweet as some would have you believe. I put them in boiling water for 1/2 minute on each side and bake them at 400 Deg. This is what I like ??? Plus a lot of other foods. So I don't go Banana's over Bagel's and where they are from. I'm Thankful for any type Bagel. Lou - - - - - - - - - - - - - - New York Bagels recipe Ingredients: 2 quarts of water. 2 large eggs. 1 egg white. 1 potato, peeled and quartered. 1 packet of active dry yeast. 4 cups of all-purpose flour. 2 cups of boiling water. ¼ cup of vegetable oil. 1 ½ tablespoons of sugar. ½ tablespoon of salt. Cornmeal, to dust cookie sheet. Preparation Instructions: Put the potato into boiling water and boil for fifteen mins. Discard the potato and allow the water to cool to about 110°F. Transfer one-third of a cup of the potato water to a small bowl; then sprinkle the yeast over top of water and stir to combine. Set aside for three minutes. Sift the all-purpose flour, salt, and ½ tablespoon of the sugar together into a suitably sized bowl; then add the yeast mixture. Stir in another 2/3 cup of the potato water and the vegetable oil. Add the eggs and stir to form a dough ball. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead for about 10 minutes until the ball is firm. Place into a greased bowl, turning the dough so all sides are greased. Cover the bowl with a clean towel and set aside in a warm place for about 60 minutes until the dough has risen to about double its original size. Punch the risen dough down to flatten and remove from bowl. Cut the dough into eighteen equal pieces and shape each piece into a six-inch long, ¾-inch thick rope. Bring the ends of each rope together and pinch to close, using a little water on the ends to help secure them. Cover all rings with the towel and allow to rise for 20 minutes. Preheat your oven to 450°F. Lightly grease a cookie sheet and dust with cornmeal. Bring the 2 quarts of water to a boil and add the remaining sugar to the boiling water Drop the bagels into the boiling water one at a time, cooking each for 3 minutes, turning once in the middle. As each bagel is removed from the water, place it on the cookie sheet. Paint the tops of the bagels with the egg white that has been beaten with 1 teaspoon of water. Bake for fifteen minutes or until the bagels are a golden brown color.

My grandparents had a couch and seat in this style, medium-blue, in their summer cabin. It was old and out-of-date looking in the 60's when I remember it from. Both pieces wore like iron, with grandkids rough-housing all over them. The chair was everyone's favorite reading place -- sprawled sideways. I have no idea what the fabric was made of, but I remember some grownup telling us they were stuffed with horse hair. They (couch and chair) are probably still there.

So interesting to think about the implications of lighting - I will definitely have to play around with different bulbs! Gracie01, the art is actually a 4 piece panel (antique, Chinese, gold w multicolor cherry blossoms, birds, etc) I agree that's not showing as such on the monitor. Pillows are gold in same fabric as chair on opposite wall. Second set of pillows has a creamy background with green-ish geometric pattern - again, absolutely agree it's not appearing that way at all through these pics. I'm realizing that part of my issue is that I never really wanted yellow walls to begin with, and sort of let the painter (whom I actually think is great) influence the decision to do this Greenmount Silk. I'd actually prefer something like a BM Gray Mirage at 50% or so...as it is, the blue against the yellow still looks garish to me. I don't want to change the window treatments, unfortunately, as they were custom made for this space, and price-y. I really appreciate all of the helpful suggestions!