He must be beyond thrilled to be home! (You too!) :-)

That's wonderful!!! Sounds like he's feeling much much better. Have they said anything about the biopsy? I just noticed a nice facility close to home that is almost ready to open. It has specialized vets. Hope I never need them, but good to know.

I am so glad that you are seeing such an amazing improvement! Go Monkey!

Good for you and your kitty for being persistent and not just going along with the first diagnosis. The most common medical advice I give is, "get a second or third opinion." It is amazing how often that helps find things missed on the initial evaluation. Wishing you both well!

Such wonderful news to read this morning! It's amazing what veterinary medicine can do now. So happy Monkey is home and being happy :)

Aww, I'm happy to read your baby is home with you now and feeling much better.

happy for both you and Monkey.

Update: Monkey is still doing well in regards to the tumor. It seems to be shrinking each day, which is wonderful! And a lot of his symptoms are gone, like the stumbling when he walks, the strange litter box behavior, and the pacing and hiding. All great things!

We had a bit of a setback though the last few days. He's started having some bad issues with gagging. He was gagging almost non-stop when awake, literally once a minute at least. Not vomiting, just like a gag reflex. At first, it didn't seem to bother him as he would just stop, gag and get on with what he was doing, but yesterday it seemed to really be bothering him. He was lethargic, slept all day, and wasn't interested in eating, which is very unlike Monkey.

I had talked to the vet a few days ago when it started, and he said it's possible Monkey's throat was irritated by the breathing tube, though usually they see coughing when that happens and he's not coughing. His meow is totally gone too - all he can do is squeak. I was concerned though as it seemed to be getting worse when it should be getting better, so I took him into the vet yesterday.

Many hours later, the vet thinks he may be nauseous but doesn't know why. His blood work came back clean which is great because it rules out an organ issue. He had an injection of anti-nausea medication, and he came home with pain medication, a liquid to help sooth his throat and I have to give him pepcid ac for nausea, plus the steroids. Administered every few hours so he runs when he sees me now! lol

I personally think his throat/esophagus is just severely irritated. He had 4 days in a row of intubation plus he was probably yelling his head off while being boarded for a week. The vet and staff noted that he was "very vocal." He had a similar problem when he had his MRI (his meow disappeared) but it was a milder version and it came back about a week after.

The good news is that today the gagging is probably 90% better than it was yesterday. He still has a few times, but he's able to yawn and swallow now without triggering it like he was yesterday. He seems sort of spacey but I think that's the pain medication. His appetite is back, though he's still not eating a ton but he comes running when the food bag is opened. The problem is I don't know which of the medicines helped, or if it was even just the extra time.

Hopefully he's on the mend. I think when his throat clears up (or whatever this issue is), he'll be feeling good. I hope so - the poor guy has been through so much in the last month that he deserves to feel good! Thanks for the continued well wishes. I'll keep everyone updated.

Oh the poor little guy!!!

I too, think his throat is sore/raw because of the tubing. The medication will make him feel better. Instead of giving him kibble, canned would be easier on his throat till it's completely healed.

Please give him some kisses on the top of his head for me and lots of hugs. I'm rooting for Monkey!

Oh I have offered him everything but he wants the dry food! Sometimes he wants it moistened. My kitchen floor is a kitty buffet right now with two different kinds of dry food, moistened dry food, two different kinds of canned food, treats. He ignores most of it except the dry food.

Here's my handsome boy. Taken just now. Ignore the drool - side effect of the radiation. He's enjoying some sunshine (and taking a nap before I rudely interrupted him to take a pic) on the kitchen table where he's not supposed to be but I don't have the heart to kick him off. :)

I know what you mean about a kitty-buffet. Mine all went off their regular dry food all at once and I was pulling my hair out finding something they would eat. I had bowls of 4-5 different kinds of food for them.

I'm switching them over to raw food. Smudge (15) has taken to it, today was the first time he ate it all by itself. I've been mixing it with their canned food. The others are slower to adapt, Roxie the female is the worst. But it's only been 2 weeks....it seems longer, but I think I'll win them over, and it's much much better for them.

What a great update! I'm so happy that he's feeling better. Totally think his issues are from the intubation as well. I've had surgery with general anesthesia and know that I've had a raspy voice and sore throat for a couple of days, so that sounds normal to me.

I have an almost-20-year-old-cat and there are days when I feel like I'm dealing with a temperamental toddler. "But, yesterday you loved the turkey and giblets! Okay, how about trying this nice chicken pate instead?"

LOL Tamara!! You nailed it!

Have you tried canned Fancy Feast? Some vets call it Kitty Crack! Might want to add it to the buffet if it's not already there. Sophie prefers the green label ones that are slightly more expensive. The Pepcid can taste quite bitter. The faster you get it down, the better followed up with a nice treat of course for positive association! Tuna juice poured over the dry kibbles will interest him if his eating is sluggish.

Haha Tamara you are so right! I am beyond frustrated. He is SO eager to eat. He runs over when he hears the bag, he twirls around my ankles begging for food but then he doesn't want it. He will literally sniff at the offering, walk away and then immediately come back wanting food. It makes me feel so bad because I know he's hungry but he doesn't want to eat!

Thanks Lisa, I will try that. I have him on a super premium food to try to get him as healthy as possible so maybe a little of the kitty crack would be good. I try to give him little treats with the medicine but he's getting them all day (each has to be taken every 8 hours) and for one of them he can't eat an hour before or an hour after in order to let it coat the throat/esophagus. Tuna juice is a great idea.

The canned food I have him on now is $2.88 a can and it drives me nuts to open it and he ignores it! Luckily my other 3 are more than happy to be the clean up crew lol.

I also have to keep in mind he may be eating more than I think. Before he was sick, he had about 1/3 cup of food morning and evening and he ate the whole thing at once. Now he's grazing all day and it's possible the total amount is fine but he's only eating a little at a time. His appetite may still be light too because he had to fast 12-14 hours a day for the anesthesia last week and I don't think they gave him a lot of food after that.

He's sitting at the piano glaring at me because he's hungry and I'm not feeding him (sigh!) so I'm going to go to the store and get some fancy feast and tuna.

If may hurt for him to swallow, maybe mix some water in with the pate type of canned food.

No for Fancy Feast (he might in the morning, his appetite is much better in the AM usually) but the tuna water on dry food got him to eat a bit. Thanks Lisa!

He sounds as frustrating as my old girl. She spent the last three days mostly not eating, but always begging for food and turning her nose up at it. Today - she's over it. Ate two cans of food and wants more. We'll play the same game over and over again. She has different issues than Monkey, of course, but I think they probably both have upset tummies and it just takes some time to work through it. Fancy Feast Appetizers is my secret weapon food that she will usually eat when all else fails.

Is your expensive food the Hills' a/d formula? If so, btdt and it didn't work for mine either. LOL

Good news! Monkey's problems seem to have resolved themselves. He's no longer gagging at all and his appetite is much improved. He's still turning his nose to things he would have loved a few months ago but I hope to see continued improvement in that area. It's possible the radiation affected his taste buds maybe, or his mouth may still be irritated. He still seems to prefer the dry food but will nibble at the wet food occasionally. He's eating a good amount.

More importantly, he's very active and happy. He's running up and down the stairs (haven't seen that in at least 6 months) and purring constantly. I'm hoping he stays this way for a good long time, and I have the peace of knowing I tried everything possible no matter what happens in the future! I hope he knows on some level that everything we're doing to him is to try to help him, even if it's not fun, like medication time. But that should hopefully be over in a few days.

Active and happy?! So freakin' cool! You have made my day. I'm happy for y'all!

Oh this is such wonderful news Chi!!!!! Monkey is a very strong and determined boy.

Such good news!!!

Happy for the good update. I hope he continues to improve.

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to give an update on Monkey. This is going to be long.

He's still doing well, much better than before the radiation. However, unfortunately, I've noticed he's declining a little bit every day for the last few days. He's still eating, but he's started isolating himself a little bit more and he's not eating as much as he did a few days ago. Last week he started sneezing a lot, and I noticed a tiny bit of blood.

I took him in yesterday for the initial assessment, and she can't tell how the tumor is doing by touch. It may be my imagination but to me it feels like it's growing back a bit. I really hope not - it's disheartening to think the radiation may only work for a few weeks. It's possible this is just a fluke and he's just not feeling well as I've only noticed it the last 3 days or so. It's also possible the stress from the vet visit yesterday is causing some of his symptoms today.

I have to remind myself that each day I'm given now is a gift anyway as he would not still be here without the radiation.

So I'm now at a crossroads. We have an option to do an oral chemotherapy that would possibly help slow the spread of the cancer. It requires a pill 3 times a week. He would need to go back to the vet in 2 weeks to check blood, and then monthly after that.

I'm still deciding, but I'm weighing heavily on not doing the chemo. I have a few reasons that I'll list out, because it's therapeutic for me and maybe some of you have had similar experiences.

1. This cancer can't be cured - it's already spread too far and it's in his lymph nodes. All these treatments are just prolonging the inevitable, and that's taking considerable toll on both Monkey and our family. If these treatments were curative, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I don't know how loving it is to give him more months of being alive but not feeling well. Animals don't process it the same way that we do. They don't have bucket lists or hope for tomorrows. They just know if they are feeling good or if they are feeling bad, and it feels selfish to prolong his life if it's not full of feeling good because it's for my benefit, not his.
   
2. It's taking a toll on Monkey. He's never been a fan of car rides or the vet, but he's getting so much worse. He's been to so many in the last 6 weeks. He's now attacking the vet techs and pooping in his carrier and he's never done this before. He's normally a well-behaved lovebug and this is telling me it's taking a big toll on him.
   
3. Our family is also being affected, especially me. I'm already a highly emotional, anxious person and dealing with this has been causing me a lot of emotional distress. I've been having occasional panic attacks from the anxiety.
   
   My mom passed a few years back from cancer, and dealing with Monkey is dragging up some of those memories in some ways. The whole limbo status is emotionally exhausting. I feel like I've already done a lot of the mourning, and part of me wishes it were just over so I could finish healing and move on. It feels selfish of me to admit it but I think it's human, and honest. And on the positive side, once he passes we will be able to open our home to another kitty who needs one.
   
4. There are risks to dealing with chemotherapy. We're trying to conceive, so my husband has to handle the drugs, and some are eliminated in the litter boxes. If he vomits we have to wear gloves to clean it up. The potential exposure risk to myself, my husband and my other cats is small but it exists. I do have to be practical about this.
   
   So that's where I'm at. I'm currently experimenting with alternative/holistic therapies as it can't hurt at this point and it's not invasive for him as I mix it with his food. I already talked to the vet about it, and she looked at the supplements so I'm not doing it blindly. The last thing I want to do is inadvertently hurt him so I'm taking it slowly and seeing how he does.
   
   I'm trying to focus on the fact that he's doing well for the moment. I don't think I will have to make any decisions for at least a few weeks so I am going to try to enjoy each day and not worry about the future. Easier said than done. Hopefully I can come to peace with my decision about the chemo. There's always the chance it would help but my gut tells me it's not worth it.
   
   Thanks to everyone for listening. It's helpful for me to write it all out to process my feelings.

I do not think there is any one right answer. Would ask what is the chemotherapy schedule, how many weeks on and how many weeks off, and for how long total? I do think it is reasonable to withhold chemo since it would not be curative. My only advice would be take one day at a time, try not to think/worrry about the future, and when it is time to let him go, you will know. If you have doubts, it probably is not time yet. JMHO (This is difficult, I have been there. My kitty died before we were able to start chemo.)

chi83, nobody can give you the answer. What I can tell you is we have the ability to make a decision with animals that we don't get with people. It's not an easy decision by any stretch of the imagination. Having lost both parents to cancer (Mom with extended treatment; Dad with no treatment), there's something to be said about having the ability to let our pets go when the time is right. You've had time with Monkey to assess the impact of the treatment.

Your heart knows when it will be right. When it's right, him go.

I need to stop now because I'm crying as I write this. My heart is with you and Monkey. Much love to you both.

Always such a heart-wrenching decision, but you're doing some careful thinking. Whatever you decide, Monkey is a lucky boy.

((((chi and Monkey)))) all I can do is say I am here and I am listening. My heart goes out to you.

Thanks. I am just struggling with whether I should just try the chemo, then I would know I truly did everything I could. I know I have done more than most people would have. I don't know - I might try it. I already have it at home so I might just see how he tolerates it.

Realize this may be different for you. The vet oncologist at Univ of IL told me cats do not get the side effects from chemo that humans do.

I have heard that too. I am not as worried about side effects but rather the required monitoring. I guess once a month isn't too bad. I wonder if my local vet could do it. The oncologist is almost an hour away and my regular vet is 10 min away.

Chi, as people have said, nobody can give you the answer. Only you can make that decision. You've done so much for your beloved Monkey. I guess I worry that with animals we don't really know how much they might be suffering. We just know they are not "quite themselves". I know you will make the decision that is best. Hugs to you both.

It's breaking my heart because I took him to the vet yesterday, and now every time he sees me he looks at me in fear and runs and hides because he thinks I'm going to take him there again. :(

Oh, I didn't want to read this. I have tears in my eyes, and I'm on the phone, making my calls for work. I too get emotional with pets.

Chi, I know what *I* would do. Monkey is already looking at you with fear, thinking that he's going to be taken someplace that he doesn't like. You are giving him some herbal supplements with his food, so that doesn't bother him and he doesn't associate that with medication and needles etc.

Giving him a pill even 3 days/week will cause him stress. And forcing a pill down his throat isn't easy. Dogs are easier to give pills.

I'd want Monkey to look at me with love and adoration, not run from me everytime he sees me. They don't know time, so he won't know when it's been a couple of days since he had the pill.

Side-effects, I'm not sure. I guess he won't lose his hair or his mouth won't dry up, but I'd think there must be some kind of negativity to the medication. If not, that would be the chemo that I would want! :-)

So without coming out and saying it, I think you know what I would do in your position.

Chi,
It's a decision that none of us pet parents want to make. I get the feeling, way deep down, you want to do the chemo and feel comfortable that you truly did everything humanly possible for your Monkey. I did the same for my cat, Mary Margaret, a few years ago. Not cancer, but she required 3x a day medication. She couldn't tolerate it and ended up in the hospital. Tried every combination we could think of for almost a year (half the dosage twice a day instead of three times; let's try a 1/4 dose every other day to stabilize the condition; how about a different drug; on and on and on) because we just couldn't bear to lose her. One day, she was laying on my desk and she looked at me, her expression clearly saying (I swear) "Mom, I'm so tired of fighting. Please, no more blood tests every week. Or being in the hospital. Or being ashamed because I'm peeing on the floor. (She never once in 20 years did that until she got sick). If you love me, please let me go."

I lost my husband this January and it was almost impossible to make the decision to put my last cat (she would have been 19 in two weeks) to sleep in March. Again, she was laying on my desk giving me that same yearning expression. I was a total, total wreck at the vet's office.

I got the sweetest sympathy card from the vet. And his words helped a lot.

"It is never an easy decision to make but please know it was the right one for her. She was obviously adored, had a great life, and I know how much you will miss her. Please continue to celebrate all the memories of the life she spent with you and your husband."

We never had human children, so the furkids are our children. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy and try to offer you some strength to help you get through this horrible time. Lots and lots of hugs from me (and the dogs).

We humans have to look deep into our hearts and ask of ourselves if we are doing the best we can for our beloved pets. And sometimes that doesn't mean doing every possible thing to prolong their lives, but simply to provide comfort, security, and love.

It's so difficult, I know. My thoughts are with you and Monkey.

((((((malna)))))

If you do the chemo maybe having a mobile vet draw blood for the labs would be an option. Or the local vets tech coming to your house to do it. It's a simple thing and the results could go to the oncologist. Eliminating the car rides as much as possible should help him. There may be a yahoo support group for people with cats with cancer and chemo. There was one I used for feline kidney disease that had lots of good medical info and tips.

Oh Malna, I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. And thank you everyone for your kind advice.

We actually started the chemo last night. I already had the pills so I figured we might as well try it. I will take it one day at a time and see how he does.

He's actually a lot better today. I don't think the chemo had anything to do with it already but it's nice to see he's not acting adversely to it. He had goopy eyes yesterday and today so I'm a bit hopeful that his sneezing and water eyes were more of a cold/allergies than tumor-related, and that's why he's been slowing down the last few days. His immune system is compromised with the steroids so it makes sense he might be more sensitive to viruses and allergens. His energy and appetite seem better today. Maybe the supplements are helping a bit too.

I will continue to update. :)

High-Five (paw to hand) Monkey!

chi, I'm deliberately not reading all of the details you have posted.... too close to home, IYKWIM, especially about him hiding from you because he knows. :(

Re food, have you tried Science Diet 'Critical Care'? It's canned and we can only get it through a Vet here, but it helped us save our little one!!! Whatever is in it really stimulates their interest/appetite. The same is true of 'Temptation' treats -- cats love them! but they can cause problems (kidney stones), so be certain to limit them per the package instructions.

Also give him vitamins, if possible. We started using Nutri-Vet multi-vite gel in December.... just every couple/few days... and I cannot even believe the difference in the cats! The little one with problems has not needed her subcutaneous injection since January!!!! and that's been a regular required thing for years!

Aw, I'm sorry Party that you've gone through something similar. It's so hard. Thanks for the food suggestion - I will definitely look into that if he stops eating his normal food.

Monkey is still doing well. He's not hiding as much so I think he's over the vet, at least for now! Still eating well, but sneezing a lot and his eye is still a little goopy. My guess is the stress of the last few weeks triggered the herpes virus all cats have, especially since he is immuno-compromised right now.

Here's what he's taking as far as supplements/vitamins. I introduced one at a time to make sure he didn't have any reactions. The only issue is he doesn't seem too keen on the flavors but will eat them mixed with food.

Life Gold - Cat Cancer Support - vitamin/antioxidant drops
Nu-Pet Feline Antioxidant - powdered antioxidant
Nordic Naturals Omega 3 Pet - liquid omega drops

Just wanted to give an update. Monkey is still hanging in there. About 3 weeks ago, it wasn't looking great as his lump had grown very rapidly in the prior two weeks, so we tried another chemo. He did well for the last 3 weeks. Good energy, purring. But in the last day or so, I've noticed some of his prior behaviors coming back. The pacing/restlessness and the strange litter box behaviors.

I'm a little nervous that the brain involvement is beginning again. We were scheduled for his next chemo next week, but I called and we moved it up to today. I'm hoping it will help this latest issue. I'm also going to see if we can start him on some pain meds to keep him comfortable.

I'm a little worried this is the beginning of the end, since I saw this exact progression before his radiation to the point where we almost put him to sleep. I always knew that the treatments were only buying us some time but admittedly part of me was in denial after seeing him respond so well. But I'm at peace with the situation as I know I tried everything I could and sometimes these things just happen.

If you have any spare good thoughts, I'd appreciate them for Monkey and my family that he will feel a little better, and if this is the last stage, that he won't be in too much pain and that I will know when it's time. It's so hard because I want to spend time with him but he doesn't really want attention or affection right now. :(

I've been wondering how your guy has been doing. You've certainly gone above and beyond, but I hope that if he's nearing the end, that it is as painfree as possible. It's always hard knowing the right time, but I think that he'll be able to tell you. (((hugs)))

Oh Chi, of course good, peaceful thoughts are coming your way for Monkey.

Whenever it has to be, it's not going to be easy. I was hoping that he'd have another year! Poor little mite. ((((Monkey and Chi83))))

Many good thoughts and wishes for Monkey and you. And fingers crossed today's chemo will zap whatever is causing the problems for a long time to come.

I've almost posted several times to ask how he was doing. Praying for you both. Hopefully the latest treatment will help. You have done everything possible, and he knows how much you love him.

Hugs and prayers for you both

Thinking of you, hoping for the best.