Help me speak "mexican"
11 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
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My 18 year old daughter is barely speaking to me
Comments (7)Are you a very young mom? I don't want to hurt your feelings, but there are a lot of things in your post that sound very immature--the Christmas present thing, calling people names--those are not the way adults handle problems. I think, before you start to work on your relationship with your daughter, it might be a good idea to work on your own level of responsibility and caring. Now, I realize, that if you are in such dire financial straits, that you've had to give up your home and parcel out the family among other family's homes, you've probably got a LOT of issues (aside from your relationship with your daughter) to deal with. And maybe you're just a bit overwhelmed at this point. But your daughter is still a child, even though the government says she's old enough to vote. She still needs you. You still need to parent her. Yes, it's a whold lot more difficult to parent a 'legal' child--that doesn't mean it isn't essential, though. And the situation is only compounded when the parents aren't together and on the same page regarding how to parent. But for your daughter's sake, you simply have to put those things aside and do the right thing for her. She's being a typical 18 year old. None of them really want much to do with their parents--that doesn't tear up your parent card, though, it just means you have to work a little harder and more creatively to do the job you signed on for 18 years ago. Honestly--if you hang in there, and get across to your daughter that you're still her mother, still love her, still will be there for her, she will almost surely come around in a few years. My dd was dying to get away from us (and went to college about 1000 miles away to prove it) at that age. BUT 10 years later? she's annoyed with us because we're moving 30 miles away, she calls me at least once a day just to chat, we get together for dinner or lunch or just to visit at least a couple of times a week. Sometime between age 22 and 25, they really do turn back into normal human beings, so don't burn any bridges that you won't be able to rebuild when the time is right....See Morefull-time SD stopped speaking to me - now what?
Comments (6)Hey there. I'm new to this too, but will give it a shot! First off I wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss, I know you must be hurting and it can't make things any easier feeling inside that things aren't right with your step daughter. I know it's hard, but try not to see her behaviour as a personal attack on you, you obviously care about her and your relationship and I'm sure things will work themselves out, if I were you I would definately not disengage, she's probably craving a bit of consistency and support after your loss, it will be difficult for her to understand and come to terms with. I know all children are different, but her behaviour sounds just like my step daughters, she too is the same age! We used to get on really well at the beginning too, but then she went quiet and moody with me after a while. I took it personally, and thought I'd done something wrong or she just didn't like me anymore but now I think a lot of it boils down to been the ripe age of 10, when they are looking forward to senior school and spending time with older children, they morphe into some sort of mini teenager! My partner also says to me that when we first got together it might seem to me as though we got on really well, but she was just making more of an effort around me because I was new and exciting in her life. He says it's good she feels comfortable enough around me now and doesn't have to put a front on anymore, apperently I've offically been accepted! I did have a chat with her, it's hard to know if she's got something bothering her or if it's just typical 10 year old behaviour as I too hadn't had any parenting experience before, and it did turn out things were bothering her. It turned out she did have a lot on her mind, little things really, that I did or didn't do that she didn't understand, and that I wouldn't have thought of bothered her but they did, and she didn't feel as though she could say something to me, because unlike her mam and dad who she knows will love her always reguardless of what she says or feels, she didn't know how I'd react, she didn't want me to 'not like her anymore' hense the quiet moodiness and one word answers, she was bottling things up. I'm starting to learn not to expect anything from my step daughter. It's as new to her as it is to me and it's took us a long time to get to a place where we all feel as though we fit right as a family (especially since my baby was born)and I don't ever think it will be plain sailing. It's hard work but I think the best thing you can do is talk to her. Maybe you could spend a girly night together or take her out for the day, just you's? Give her a chance to open up to you. Oh and her mother is bound to let her off the hook with everything, she will feel guilt for not seeing her daughter enough and will over compensate, to make sure she has the 'best time' with her. It's the same in my situation, my step daughter has been referred to a healthy eating club as she is slightly over weight so I encourage her to eat fruit and vegetables. I'm not cruel, she can have treats. but after shes ate her dinner.. so her mam gets her takeaways every time she sees her and my step daughter thinks that's great of her but I know I'm doing the best for her in the long term and she will appreciate that when she's older. i remind myself it's about whats best for her, not point scoring. Sorry for message been so long, just hope I can be of any help, read this message and almost thought I'd wrote it myself, I thought I'd been sleep typing! Please let me know how things go Mavis :-)...See MoreCalling Mexican Ariel fans! (I need help with dosing)
Comments (24)mamapinky, I looked up information about the phosphates and not only is P & G going to discontinue phosphates, but they hope to have 70% of all laundry done in cold water in a few years. Yuk. Not this gal. So far, I have not been able to find FOCA with phosphates, but they are selling HUGE non-phosphate bags for $8...I might just have to get one and doctor it up. I have to say, Ariel left my clothes so soft out of the washer! I think I have been accustom to the zeolite stiffness. I used a Bounce FS sheet in the dryer, and my clothes were soft with just a hint of fresh laundry smell. Perfection....See MoreMexican plum help
Comments (50)"Also, about tree, is it possible to dig up all the mulch using tools without hurting the roots" Joseph, did you watch the video that I linked in my second post? You only have to remove the dirt down far enough to expose the root flare. The adventitious roots that are coming out the side of the flare need to be removed anyways so you won't hurt anything. They use air in the video but if you're careful you only need to dig the dirt and roots that you will be removing....See More- 11 years ago
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