It really is.

Here's a clickable: My Mother Is Not A Bird

That is lovely. Thanks for sharing it.

A lovely tribute, very tender.

Thanks, Mtn.

I hesitated to read it because I didn't want to cry. It is beautiful. Reminds me of my mother taking care of my grandmother all last year until she passed away. Thanks for sharing.

I know, I am sorry!

But I thought this was just such a terrific and honest piece of writing, I do not begrudge her the tears.

Beautiful and perfect.

Thank you for this.

I hate the word "pass." Do people think it means something gentler or less final than die?

Thank you for posting this one, mtn, I missed it. I like very much her mom's exhortation to ask themselves what Linda would think and I loved that she offered to pull strings, if there were any to pull :-)

For a few years after he died my dad came to me in my dreams; he always called me, and I was so happy when he did. He never said anything important, just hello and how were we, and he was fine. Even at the time I understood this was my subconscious' method to stay in touch---I absolutely believe it had something to do with those old ATT advertisements in my childhood to "reach out and touch someone"-----but they were no less comforting for that. We all have to cope somehow.

I thought "pass" meant to go from this life to another. As a non-believer, I'm uncomfortable with saying anything other than "died." I don't understand why the words dead/died seem too harsh for people to say. It's just as much a part of life as birth.

Beautifully written. Reading things like this always brings a tear for my own Mom, but I still enjoy the thoughts. My own Mom loved to cook, loved good food, and the act of cooking for others was an act of love to her. She passed along that love to her children and grandchildren no doubt about that, so I enjoy the comparisons.

beautiful essay. I love the 'If there is a heaven and it's the kind of place where you can pull strings- I'll pull strings for you'! funny yet very sweet line! I lost my parents when they were well into their 80's- it probably is a different experience to lose them when they are quite a bit younger, but I was able to be with my mom when she took her very last breath and it was a wonderful thing- very bitter sweet-- I am so happy that I was able to be there with her.

I agree with the frequent use of the word 'pass'... it does refer to the passing from mortal life to everlasting life, but it is a very religious thing to say and I am not a very religious person. I prefer 'death' or 'die', but I will use 'passed' if I think that word is important to the person I am talking to.... it's comfort I'm trying to give to them and if that word helps, I use it!

I am a believing person, but I've never considered "passed" as a particularly religious term.

The idiom dictionary says passed or passed away means to end or to pass out of existence.

According to that dictionary, when you say "passed OVER," you are indicating passing TO another life.

Which I am looking forward to doing some fine day.

:)

I dont consider it a religious term either. In our area it is actually mostly used by the lower middle class, a phrase on par with "have a blessed day."

I don't consider it a religious term either, but I really don't associate it's use by a certain class of people! I have heard it used by many people of all classes, incomes, upbringings. I think some people are just reluctant to use the word 'died' so they use words like 'passed away'.

Just reporting, not editorializing.

I neglected to say that the story was very touching and emotional. My father died a few years ago. I don't want to think about losing my mom, a wonderful, sweet, brilliant lady of 82 years.

kswl, "have a blessed day" is very unappealing to me. It seems to trivialize and make common what is not trivial or common. I usually hear it in stores.

It would fit right into the SNL "buh-bye" skit: "Thanks for shopping with us, have a blessed day, buh-bye!"

I don't find the use of "passed" to be in the same category. Some of the older generation that I'm acquainted with believe that saying "He's DEAD" would just be too harshly expressed.

Yes, "pass" is a euphemism. Fine by me as a more gentle language if it helps spare someone's feelings.

I was nervous about reading the article as my Mom's loss is such an emotional place for me to go. But it was ok as my own experience of losing my Mom was different from the author's.

I've had a number of dreams with my Mom in them, but the best was the one where she showed up and we were talking and laughing like always and for a few minutes, in my dream, she was still alive...she hadn't yet died. Then in the dream, the realization came that she was gone, and then came the sadness. I awoke, so thankful for those few, most precious moments....