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Step-Mother to 3 grown daughters and its killing me

15 years ago

Hello everyone I am new to this board and to me I have big problems. So this may be a long post.

I am a mother of 2 boys from a previous 13yr marriage, and I am now married to a wonderful man(I think?) Who has 3 grown daughters 23,22,20. He was married for 21 years to his first wife. He is also a grandfather to 4 wonderful little girls, who I love as if they could be my own grandchildren. He is 10 years older then me and we will soon be married for 4 years. So here are my issues.

When I met my husband 4+yrs ago I was living in another state with my sons about 400 miles from his home state.

His youngest daughter who had just turned 17 had just found out she was pregnant and he is very close to this daughter and we talked about the option of me moving to his state so he would not have to leave b/c of his daughter and first grandchild. (He had already started making the move to my state b/c my kids are young and didnt need to have to move)

Well anyway I made the move with my sons. Well its been pretty much a nightmare since I moved here. His children are totally out of control. I love his children b/c they are a part of him, so to love him it makes it so much easier to love his children. My husband just dosent seem to care about the things his children do and how it is affecting his granddaughters. His youngest child was living with her boyfriend and his family and the father of her boyfriend was masterbating in the house (and not behind closed doors) to porn movies, with 2 little girls and 2 little boys running around in the house. The middle daughter opens my mail if it goes to the wrong address. The last one being a check from Tricare Ins.(husband retired military). It took me months to get the check back not so much for the money, but more to make sure my mail didnt not go to his ex-wifes house anymore. Then the daughter who was living with the boyfriend whos father masterbates for all the house to see, decided she needed to have a girlfriend live with her and her boyfriend at the house with the old guy masterbating, and 4 small kids running around the house and a 13yr old girl too. Then there is the oldest daughter who is addicted to pain pills. She has 2 children had one in May that only weight 3 lbs and 12oz. My husband borrowed her van to take out of state cause we had to pick up my boys from their father and we had to bring his mom back to town. Well the van broke down when we had it out of state and we were stuck for almost a week. It was the alternator on the van that went out, and the battery had to be replaced as well. So we had all this fixed in order to go home. My husband and I agreed to pay half of the labor charges due to the fact we had the van out of state(We left her my car to have while we had her van)and we felt she should be responsible for all the other repairs. We dont want all the money up front, but we do need it back. She keeps saying she is gonna pay it, but still has not made any attempt to do so. She was gonna give us money one weekend at a family cookout, but we found out that she took the money and bought pain pills from her sister with the money. This daughter lives in a trailer park with her husband and her mother lives beside her in a trailer as well with her sister and 2 kisa, and the middle daughter, and we found out all of them the mother,her sister,daughters and son-in-law are all addicted to pain pills. I could care less if my husbands ex is addicted to pills or anything else, my concerns are my step-daughter and her children, and the grandchildren who have to go around husbands ex who may be high at the time. Here is the issue My husband just lets it all roll of his back like its no big deal. Im not sure what he can do if anything, I just know if it was my kids who are 15 and 11 I would be in there face over all this drama. Any ideas how to handle this kind of bull. And am I wrong for feeling that my husband needs to be some what more concerned about the situation with his children and GC. OH and all this stuff has been going on since May of this year, there is always something going on with them. These are just to name a few.

So sorry this was so long......I just really needed to vent and get some advice on this situation.

Thanks for Listening


And my husband has to pay 1,200 per month to the ex for alimony and it bothers me that she is probley buying pills with the money and Im sure she gives them to her daughter.

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