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The Step Mom / Step Daughter Dynamic

16 years ago

Okay, so I am trying to be organized tonight!

Here comes my second "big thought" :)

There seem to be a large mumber of posters who have a good relationship with SS and a troubled relationship with SD. I am one of them and hard as I try, I cannot figure out the problem!!

There has to be an answer----

So here's the typical breakdown (as I see it):

Mother and Father are married/together.

Somewhere in here there is a daughter who may be a lot like her mother (or at least identifies with mother).

Mother and Father divorced/broke up.---This would imply a (sometimes extremely high) level of discord between Mother and Father.

Father marries SM.---This would imply a (a hopefully high :))level of love and affection between Father and SM.


SD feels like SM "replaced" mother and SD (subconciously) fears that SM can replace her,also.


SD fears that a good relationship with SM (her mother's "replacement")would be a betrayal to her mother.

I know this is not a giant epiphany! But why is it so different with SS's? I can't figure out why so many of us can navigate a great relationship with our SS's, but not with our SD's ?!?!? What do you think?

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