Should I go to Step-daughters wedding?
jstcrazymom
15 years ago
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serenity_now_2007
15 years agofinedreams
15 years agoRelated Discussions
Wedding Etiquette: Should I Walk My Daughter Down The Aisle?
Comments (29)re⋅gret⋅ta⋅ble /rɪˈgrɛtəbəl/ adjective causing or deserving regret; unfortunate; deplorable. re⋅gret /rɪˈgrɛt/ verb, -gret⋅ted, -gret⋅ting, noun verb (used with object) 1.to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it. 2.to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth. noun 3.a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc. 4.a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc. 5.regrets, a polite, usually formal refusal of an invitation: I sent her my regrets. 6.a note expressing regret at one's inability to accept an invitation: I have had four acceptances and one regret. To Imamommy: I do appreciate your sincere reply and explanation....serioulsy I do. Unfortuantley, from your position, which is understandably based upon your Life's experiences, it is, in my humble opnion: lacking. This is especially true when you state it's all about YOU. Of course it's all about me...it's my posting, my question, my struggle, my family, and most importantly of all: my feelings. No matter how one "paints the picture" the viewer or in this case the reader, will take from it whatever it is they percieve, want or need to see; or perhaps are blind to see it for what it really is. I might add that the canvas may not be large enough for the artist to paint the whole picture. As for the "choice" hind site is always 20/20, but I don't think a divorce and raising 3 (innocent) children in a broken home and carting them back and forth between parents is a good idea. I didn't have an Aunt Bee to turn to and I didnt' like the idea of putting 3 kids into day care. To my x-wife's credit she agreed to consuling and too remain commited to raising our children together rather than apart. Sadly (regretably) things didin't work out. As for my children and how they feel, I know both clinically and from first hand experience how they feel, and I even know what their pattern's of behavior are, which is why: I've given up hope to any meaningful relationship; and question why I should even bother with "tradition" like this wedding. We all know that "traditions" are a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting. Perhaps by going to this wedding there is some hope that these time honored events will provide an opportunity for some closure. God knows it's sorely needed. Lastly, if by chance I've failed to address or satisfy a question, or simply didn't agree with one's opinion, then let us part company with the knowledge that we can agree to disagree. I"m going to go and fix a hot cup of tea and I will drink that tea in honor of all of you, but most of all to Imamommy whose brush has put some color into the tapestry of my LIFE. Please join me....See MoreI can't stand my step-daughter
Comments (30)I kind of agree with TOS. I was 14 when my dad and stepmom married. I love my stepmom dearly. But if she had stepped into my life and declared that my housekeeping skills, table manners, etiquette, personal hygiene, and manner of dress were all lacking even if it were objectively true, I would not have been receptive. Or if she had stepped in and tried to "share" her interests rather than getting to know me and learning what mine were. I suspect you got off to a bad start with your stepdaughter. I'm sure you meant well, but the mere fact that she told you that you might be able to change her dad, but not her, suggests that what you saw as "help", she saw as "criticism" and as you trying to change who she is. If you are interested in my opinion, I would suggest that you back off. The two of you have decades of dealing with each other ahead of you. Try to start over, and take it more slowly this time. Let the relationship develop naturally between the two of you, rather than try to force it into whatever mold or expectations you had in mind that it should be because you married her father. You may still find that you don't particularly like each other as people, but you may also find that without the expectations or pressures of parent/child issues, you get along just fine. She is spending time with, and taking advice from, mature members of your church congregation? How could this possibly be a bad thing? I understand that your feelings are hurt that she is not seeking *your* advice, but while I am sympathetic, that is your issue not hers. Do you want to be told whose advice you should be taking? I think that for the sake of your future relationship, if you haven't already done so, you need to completely back off from trying to help or advise her and simply let this girl find herself. Then get to know who she turns out to be... with no expectations of what kind of relationship will develop. Just let it happen naturally....See MoreWedding plans and step daughters
Comments (9)Hmmm, I was once invited to an ex-boyfriend's wedding and I attended. The bride threw the bouquet at me! For my part, at the time, I saw my ex-boyfriend as a friend only and I think that was part of why he invited me was to show his wife to be and the world that's where things stood. It made her uncomfortable and then she threw the bouquet at me! They did ultimately divorce but that's another story. I think when people no longer matter to you, then they really don't matter in the same way. Why be threatened? On the kids participating, why bother? One caveat, last Thanksgiving, we went to SD35's home for dinner. She invited her mother as well, BM. I have no axe to grind with her and wanted to attend the dinner. Long story short, it was weird, she would talk to DH and then drift off when I showed up. So unnecessary as I am not worried that way. I doubt that I will attend anything else like that with her there, not because I am worried about her, but because she has her own mixed feelings. My adult skids did not attend my wedding to their father or the reception which hurt my feelings and that I never forgot. Keep it simple for yourself. Just invite them but don't put them in to the mix of the wedding. That will probably be more comfortable for everyone involved especially you....See MoreWhat should I wear to wedding reception? Not going to the wedding
Comments (19)Thanks everyone. Patti you may be right about the cream vs the white. I am a pale-skinned, freckled redhead and even though i do have a lot of white blouses, I really do not look good in white. And I love Steinmart! I think I will stop in there tomorrow and also there is a TJMAXX in the same shopping center. I am 60 yrs old, tall, but 30 pounds overweight (recently lost 35, 30 more to go) and busty, I was thinking a print might make me look fatter. I have a cute new top that is a leopard print, but wondered if it would be too much! My DD tells me I dress too much like an old lady, well I am one. Maybe I will pick up a couple tops and have a pre-party fashion show for DH and DD. I appreciate the great ideas!...See Moresweeby
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