Thanks ! Kirk alias/ Santa..... how's Mrs Santa tell her "Hay from a Texan !" I can see how you got the position of SC!! you are special and thoughtful and the INFO helped! Gee... I am new... such a mess trying to FIT IN and yet... so excited.. making lots of mistakes.. but then .. then... along came the TEACHER>. and you helped put it in terms we can understand! T H A N K S !!! keep up the good work! susiesunshine - I'm working on gett'n it right!

Welcome, Pamela and Terri. NO PLANYS TO TRADE = NO PROBLEM! That is how a kot of us got our gardens started. You will find that gardeners are the most generous and kind people you can associate with and be lucky to have as friends. I go out into my garden and as I spend time with plants I remember the people who gave them to me. Fawnridge AKA Ricky has a corner in my yard dedicated to him. I even have a placque that says Ricky's corner. It is where the majority of my crotons are planted. I have a corner dedicated to Lisa and also various other corners where I have planted all the edibles that she has so generously shared with me. I hate leaving people out but almost every person on this site has shared something with me and hopefully in the upcoming swaps I will have things to share with them. Gardening comes from my father's side of the family and when I was borh I had two green thumbs. I received a shovel for my first birthday and have been a roto tiller ever since. I love hand digging and turning the soil over and over in my hands. I love feeling it flow through my fingers and seeing the tiny seeds sprout and develop into beautiful plants. I even feel pain when one dies and I have killed my share. You will find great advice here and if you desire to get into tomato farming then Treefrog will be your best buddy and does he have seeds to share. Terri, as long as you have had your rabies shot you have nothing to fear here. If someone bites it is usually painful for only a second and then they place salve on the bite and give you advice. Please speak up more and we would love to see you at a swap. That goes for you also, Pamela. Welcome and be ready for the passion of gardening to totally consume you here in the sub tropics. Linda

Harmar, here is ANOTHER opinion for you. As if parenting isn't hard enough when it's just the two of you, right? To then add a third voice chiming in without being present.... yes, these are the joys of step-families! I know what it's like. I am a big advocate of claiming OUR territory here at home if that makes any sense. We keep on having issues of the children's mother wanting to meddle in our home affairs. Sometimes, it does feel as if she tells my husband to jump and his reply will inevitably be, "how high?". I can't tell you the things we've had to do because of HER fears and all of her tears (which always seem to work on my husband; she cries? He gives in... you wonder where children learn that from). But back to the situation at hand; if it's a small thing, try not to sweat it, but if you have a third-party parenting in your house without being present, then forget about it, YOUR house is YOUR HOUSE. The children can trust you and their father enough to make judgment calls without living in fear of what their mother will say, right? They are probably old enough to get the fact that, if you guys really didn't have a clue to what is right and what is wrong, their mother wouldn't let them come over at all. It sounds like you are really operating in good faith and with the best of intentions. And if I can get that from just one post, your step-kids can trust that too, don't you think? I generally tend to agree with sweebyâÂÂs advice, but I stray a little bit from her opinion this time. Just like two parents have different parenting styles and one may allow certain things while the other doesnâÂÂt, same goes with two households. ItâÂÂs as if the children are bi-cultural and in actuality thatâÂÂs what theyâÂÂre learning. I think itâÂÂs impossible to have the same set of rules in two separate houses, especially when one of the parties will never be present. The big stuff certainly, but the rest, I am sure both households can âÂÂlet it rollâÂÂ. If I can offer you any advice, I think you and your husband should turn your energy away from the children's mother and keep it on the children (I am sure you are doing this already, I mean no offense; I just know that in my case, I had a woman living in my head whether she or I liked it or not!). We made a family statute (I remember reading about one somewhere and it worked wonders for us!) where we came up with rules together. One of the rules however was that Dad and I (or any adult in charge at home) have final say, not ANYBODY else. So if there are certain things like movies for example, where they donâÂÂt feel comfortable, they can put that down as their rule. But that way, it becomes THEIR rule and not that of the parent that isnâÂÂt there. Keep us posted (literally, ha ha)

I may have messaged you a few months ago when you first mentioned this brilliant idea - but I'll send another one just in case. I don't have a problem with things as they are but as others have mentioned 'conversations' may be on the way out. Thank you so much for doing this. Maire.