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Step Mom new to Garden Web and I need help

17 years ago

Hey everyone. I am new to the garden web but not new to problems of being a second wife and step mom. I have been married for 4 years, together for 7. He had 2 boys (13 and 12 now)from prev. marriage and we have a 6 year old daughter together. My problems stem from his ex. I met him at the end of their divorce so she blames me even though we all know better. She and I started getting along about 2 years ago but that only lasted a year. I felt like she was dragging me into things too much, expecting me to handle it since my hubby tends to forget or disregard his responsibilities. I also figured out how my hubby got the raw end of the deal with everything. He pays almost $1200 a month in child support, plus ins. and 88% of out of pocket expense. We live 45 mins. away from her and she has made him drop off and pick up the boys for 4 years. He lets her tell the boys what they can and cannot do at my house. For example, she tells them that they must take at least 2 showers at my house, they can have no soda, and they can only watch and play certain video games. They have even asked if they could call her to get permission to watch a movie while they are at my house. We do not, by any means, let them watch unsuitable movies but they did not feel comfortable because the movie was PG-13 and he was 12. Of course there is more but I'll have to write more later.

I feel like he lets her get by with everything. He is too scared to take her to court to get the child support lowered and he lets her make all of the decisions about everything. She makes the rules at her house and mine too. I'm tired of it and when I express my feelings to him he gets defensive and says that he does everything for the boys. This woman is consuming my life and I feel like my family suffers because of her. Any suggestions?

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