Why can't they leave things alone?
11 years ago
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- 11 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
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Are You Unable to Leave Your Garden Alone?
Comments (18)Hoovb: "It's all about the journey, not the destination..." and Lottirose: "My garden is not and never will be a showplace, but it is my bliss.". Both wonderful articulations of my feelings. My garden movement I think is pretty minor, but a constant slow flow. I cannot shovel prune anything - just not in my nature, but I do move plants that are not doing as well as I'd like, or I don't think belong in their current place for one reason or another, to a less obvious place. I find myself moving more and more companion plants, and making more room for roses in the prime garden spots. The one rose I moved to replace with another (moved a Crimson Glory to put in a Sunsprite instead, as I thought she'd look better there) - I find myself apologizing daily to Crimson Glory as she doesn't like her new spot. I think in future, any roses happy in their spot will remain in their spot, despite my opinion. Daily dead-heading and weeding mostly gives me the sense of activity I need for constant input into my garden. I do keep visualizing more places for more and different roses as I plan to further expand. One think I have learned about the perception of my garden, is to keep my less pleasant relatives out! I had my cousin and his wife visit the other day, and somehow looking at my superbly beautiful garden (in my eyes that is) through her eyes, dimished it greatly. She had a critical eye, and lots of suggestions on how it could be better. Opinions I likely would have welcomed from any of the true rosarians on this forum, but were not appreciated from one with less than constructive intent....See MoreCan't leave these alone.
Comments (36)Compumom, at least with binging on the chocolate covered Altoids you have fresh breath, brown teeth, but really fresh breath. Sunday night I started on a really big bag of reeses pieces- I dont eat chocolate so they are my substitute fix. Brought them to work yesterday so yummy with coffee. last night dug into a bag of sunchips who knows what flavor- DS bought them. Finished off the reeses with coffee here at work this morning. all gone. piZZa in my meeeting at 7 tonight. who knows what I will get into tomorrow?? Sue...See MoreNeeding advice, daughter can't get alone with stepfather
Comments (18)Shar - Your DD and DH's relationship sounds a lot like mine with my step dad. He has always rode me hard and let my SB get away with everything, murder I'm sure if it ever came up. I have approached him on this several times. His response was always the same. Men tend to have a harder time relating to women or "daughters" then to there sons. Fact of life, he doesn't know how to act or react to her behavior. So he over reacts, this is your turn to step it up, lay down the law. He needs to stay out of her room, if the TV is on knock on the door and ask her to turn it off. No need to unplug it, that's childish. He is stooping to her level, not wise of someone who should be an adult. Complains about a light, well has he ever left a light on or forgot to shut the lid on the toilet. Blow up at him, rant and rave as he does, then stop and say that's how you sound when you talk to my DD. It doesn't accomplish anything but angering people when you scream and shout. My grandmother is a very very wise lady, she told me something long ago. If you whisper people are forced to pay attention to actually hear what you are saying, when you yell they can tune you out. When her friends are there and he does things to embarrass her or make then uncomfortable, are you sure that's not typical teenage opinion. I hated it when my parents checked up on me ever 5 minutes but know they were just making sure that I wasn't getting into trouble. Once a child has done something to lose trust it's hard to gain it back. Especially for one who has not bond or biological ties to a child. You should really sit down and talk to both of them together. Dinner in public, where if one of them raises a voice then they are causing an embarrassment to them self, as home someone can just slam off into there room. If you are out in a public area and all drove in one car, if you have the keys that makes it hard for either one of them to leave until you are ready. Counseling is great, but I think to many people run to the aid of others when simply forcing the two of them to talk might help a little. And if all else fails call upon the outside help, or maybe reevaluate your relationship....See MoreTo leave alone or not to leave alone...
Comments (12)DH and I bought a house together. Several years later, my Ex and his new wife bought a house a few blocks away. Ex travels for pleasure fairly often, and when he does, our teenage son goes over there to take care of the pool and pets. One of the first trips occured during some nasty weather, so I drove our son to Ex's house for his chores. The whole way over, DS was squirming and uncomfortable. When I pulled into the driveway, he finally turned to me and said "My Dad told me not to let you into the house." It was like a slap in the face. After taking a second to adjust to the pure shock of it, I told DS that I was sure his father meant that he shouldn't let *anyone* into the house while his parents were out, and that that was a very good policy. But DS said "No, he only said you." I should point out that we had been divorced for about 8 years at that point, had always been reasonably civilized, and that I'd never done anything unethical or 'slimy' to warrant that kind of treatment. I understand he didn't want me in his house uninvited -- that goes unsaid. I don't want him in my house uninvited either, and I'd be shocked if he didn't know that. But to make the kid "the enforcer" is wrong. Just plain wrong. It tells the kid "Your other parent can't be trusted." and "You have to tell the other parent they're untrustworthy." Talk about putting a kid in the middle! If you decide to leave your daughter home alone, have a very clear policy that is understandable and doesn't single out her mother. For example, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE is allowed in the house when you're not home. Or, people you know well (such as neighbors and BioMom) are allowed inside the entryway for a few minutes, but NOT free roam of the house. (There are nosey neighbors - blame them or paranoia in general.) If you think BioMom might be a problem area, have your husband call her and diplomatically explain the policy your daughter will be following, and that you don't want her putting your daughter in a difficult position. (Then get the firesafe and ask the neighbor for help.)...See More- 11 years ago
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