Your best bet is to speak to the landlord (again). If they're noisy past the time the municipality has said they're allowed to be, you are right to complain, but if it's a matter of your needing extra sleep in the daytime, for instance, unless they're REALLY, REALLY, loud, you won't get much help at all. People like that don't know courtesy when it hits them in the head and things like telling you when they're partying (or appreciating cookie baking) go way over their heads. Accept that they live in a very different 'world' from you and after you've done all you can (officially) to fix things, you may end up giving whatever notice your bldg needs, and moving if things don't improve. You sound like a 'genteel' person from a different (better?) class of apt. dwellers, but in today's world, you're few and far between.

What a tough day, you are a hero, you know. And a good vent can be very satisfying. What about putting her in an Adult Day Care program every day. They are very good, it will give her a chance to get out of the house and do things, and give you the break you need. They are well worth it. Your mother sounds bored - she's needs to "keep busy" and she finds whatever catches her eye, and does it, even if it makes no sense to you. Of course she doesn't want to go to a nursing home, not too many of us wake up and decide today is the day to move to a nursing home. But it looks like it's time to get her out of your home. It's not doing your or your granddaughter any good having her there with this much chaos and anger and frustration. The tables have turned, now you and your husband have to make that decision, and see that it gets done. But..... once there, she'll be fine, she'll be happier there than at home with you. Good nursing homes have lots of activities and lots of supervision, and good care. And your weekly visits with her will be a treat, not an ordeal. Medicare won't pay for a nursing home unless she needs it for sub-acute rehab - and then only for a short time. If she has no money, Medicaid will pay for her care. If she has money, that would go toward nursing home expenses, she must get some money every month - Social Security/pension, etc. Why do you think you have to pay the entire cost? Your energy should go towards taking care of yourself, your husband and your dear granddaughter - his mother should not be at the top of the list. You know you are not going to hurt her, or your grandchild. That leaves you, and your marriage. And if your husband leaves, you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he'll leave his mom with you. LOL You are doing an amazing job, and have every right to be angry with her, even if she doesn't know what she did. It's still a waste of your time, money and the food you prepared. My mother had Alzheimers, for 15 years, and my dad took care of her for most of that time, and she became very difficult. After 10 years, we sat down with dad and said that it was time to move to a retirement community, he fought us for almost a year. After they moved, he loved it, said it was the best thing he ever did. After a few years, we insisted mom go to adult day care, and he fought that, but she loved it, and he could finally do some things for himself. The next year it was clear that it was time for her to move to the nursing home in their retirement community. She had become violent and was hitting him, and didn't sleep at night. She got out of their apartment a few times, even with an alarm. Even so, he fought that too, but the move went well, she was much happier and so was he. She died 9 months later. My dad lived for 6 more years. For 4 1/2 years, he remained in his own apartment, with some help after he had a stroke. Eventually he moved to the assisted living facility, and 3 months later, to the nursing home in the retirement community. He died there a year later. Both of my parents had excellent care, they loved the staff, and we were confident we'd made the right decisions. Take a deep breath, have a good cry, and hug that wonderful granddaughter and dear husband.

I can drink some odd things but tequila and egg nog does not sound good. There is a cream/tequila bottled and sold as Tequila Rose so some people must like things along that line. Bet getting the worm in your egg nog would make interesting party conversation? Some would probably scream and drop it and others shrug n chug. : ) lyra

Good quotes, her view of the now proves that the more things change, the more they stay the same - except for Smartphones, and I knew about Smartphones by any name when I read Science Fiction in the fifties and sixties