Are you going to keep dwelling on this, and use it as some kind of amunition every time something doesn't go your way? You have been with this man for a year and that should have given you an opportunity to see him in many cituations. If you approve of him in other important matters--then forget about his young fling. If you are the kind of person that dwells on things till kingdom- come, maybe you should wait for a perfect man to come along. If something develops in regard to the mother and child in the future--handle it then. In the meantime, think about those things you can do something about--like working on your identity issues. Jealousy is very hard to get rid of. If you are inclined to get jealous, go for some counseling about it. I've seen jealousy ruin lives when it continues. Has this man in your life given you plenty of reassurence? If he has, then believe him.

Thanks everyone for your support. I know I need to leave but I suppose I've always been a sucker to help people. Amber - Thank you for your words. You are right, the only person I can save is myself. I suppose the battle is really working up the courage to say enough is enough. I struggle because I hate hurting people or feeling like I am letting them down but in the same regard I suppose by me doing things for my partner, he will never do anything to help himself or his son. Colleenoz - thank you for your kind words. I never thought about it like the way you put it. Seeing that he could turn like that if something bad happened to me is some what alarming. Because when I think of the answer to something happening to me and would he be there, I can't answer that. And if I can't answer that, then there is a real big problem. LaVerne - Thank you for your comment. Do I want to change? Yes i really do, so I guess I know what I have to do. Reading Lady - Sadly this situation is real, it would be nice if I was making it up but unfortunately I am not. I know everyone on his mother's side has bi-polar and basically have lived their lives in and out of either jails or foster homes. Sometimes I think the cycle can be broken but in the same regards, it's not my responsibility to have hero complex (i.e. trying to save everyone). Let me just say this, I know that none of you know me from a bar of soap, which in turn makes you more truthful. I appreciate your honesty and i thank you for your wisdom. I know everyone goes through hard stages in life, but you are right. If I am not happy with the situation, then only I can change it. I think it's time for me to worry about myself and get back what I want. If I succeed (and I truly hope I do) than please know every little word by each of you contributed to giving me strength. You all really have no idea how much you have put my mind, heart and bank balance at rest.

Castymiss was in another thread and I already posted some questions and she answered me. So I'm going to copy her posting here so she does not have to repeat it all. And Castymiss, I dont blame you a bit for staying home and I would not feel guilty a bit if DH stays home too because you don't go. He's a big boy, he can go or he can stay home...nobody stopping him. Don't let him pressure you. Actually I'm surprised he doesn't tell the whole bunch to take a hike. Why not take BF's mother out for dinner one evening and celebrate her birthday party or whatever the event is. That way he can enjoy a quiet evening with you, him and mom without all the drama. Castymiss's posting from other thread: To JUSTMETOO...Ok..lots to answer..haha. This ex of my bfs is posting on facebook NOW...how she can't wait to go to this party. I have no problem if she wishes to see the family when we are not there. When she does go see this family which she has done a few times in the past 3 years she puts my bf down, cursing and talking trash about him to his own elderly mother. This mother also has told her to "please stop talking badly about my son in my home". She keeps it up. My ml is afraid that her granddaughter who is an adult will not come if her mother is not invited. YES this grown daughter will NOT show up if her mother does not come with her. I do NOT know why she is like this. I would NOT come with my own daughter. My daughter would make her own mind up and tell me to not go...This daughter will not. The family says they invite the mom ONLY to see the granddaughter and their cousin. If I go, and she starts talking badly about my bf and what a crummy dad he was and how awful he is when she is drunk...I will get myself in trouble and sock her...Thus I choose to remain home. My bf says he does NOT want to go if she is there. That is his choice. I have told him to go and enjoy himself. He says he is NOT going. Thus I have told him to tell his family to not let the ex come..Why should he not go to his mothers birthday..I know the mom would rather see her son than his ex. It has nothing to do with me feeling insecure. Its been 24 years I have been with him. Yes, I have ALWAYS gotten along with his family and always go to the family functions. They call me up all the time his neices...as does his mom. I think it has to do with a respect issue. I am not invited, but his ex is? I don't think so.....My bf did call and say, whats up with my woman not getting an invite...OH..usually the invitations ALWAYS have both our names on it..This time only his name was on it.....They told him that his ex did NOT want me there and she would be uncomfortable. She again told them her grown daughter would NOT go if she could not attend. Family says she suffers from Schizophrenia. Not sure if this is true. My bf just says this is too much drama and he does not want to go. So YES, I was NOT invited. He says if I am not invited, he is not going either. I do have to say that his ex NEVER brings her husband when she knows my bf will be there. ONLY when he is not there. Her husband was invited to come with her to this party but she says she is not bringing him so she can feel more comfortable around my bf...WTF??? She tells his family she is in a bad LONG marriage over 24 years and that she is still in love with my bf...I have to say that my bf has ALWAYS been very passive and does NOT like any type of confrontation. NONE....When she flings herself on him YEARS ago he would push her off and tell her to stop it. If she was drinking, she will not stop. The first time I saw her years ago she said she had to get drunk to meet me. She also said she had planned to SLAP my face...And I had NEVER even met her before..This was YEARS ago but still, she is a nut job and why would I put myself into that situation of beating her down...haha. Sorry but that is what I might do..I think if the family wishes to see her they can by all means do that...Invite her anytime they wish..but NOT to his own mothers party...when he would be there. This is a nightmare and I really will throw this family out with the wash. I have my own HUGE family. I have an ex as well...and I am VERY close to my ex inlaws and the entire HUGE family. I have 2 kids with my ex and have NEVER brought my bf around my ex at my ex families functions. My ex has a long term girlfriend and when there is a big family party...I DO NOT GO...why would I..I can see them anytime I wish on another day...I am also GREAT friends with my ex....but would NEVER think of flinging myself on him especially in front of his gf...That is rude and disrespectful. This ex of my bfs has no boundaries and no self control. Don't know what else to say. My bf has NOT seen this grown daughter since she was a baby. But HE is choosing to not go...I told him to GO even if his ex is there...I just choose NOT to be there...He wants me to go and says if I don't go, he is not going either....I am NOT going...bottom line end of story..hahaha...

Hate to say it, but I agree you have already been told by this man that he does not want any more children - ever. Though they say vasectomies are reversible, it does not always work. If you want a child of you own in the future, Walk Now. Further more, any bond that you thought you had with this child was that of a care giver and not that of a parent in this child's eyes. Yes he may care of you. But for a child - at the age of 5, to state to you that 'he was talking to daddy and not you', and is already questioning your authority as to being able to give instructions, he is telling you that you are NOT his parent and he knows it. While I agree with others that he is being a boy and wanting to spend time with Dad is natural, these other behaviors are not. This child already is stating that you are an interloper in his eyes and if you have the child work experience you state, you would recognize his behavior as being confrontational. It is so easy to idealize a parent child relationship. It is also easy to idealize the step family - take it from me, most of us Stepparents started out like that! But reality is starting to set in for you. The baby is now starting to grow and things are going to change with him as you are going to deal with him feeling you are taking his Dad away etc. If you stay with this man, I would recommend counseling for the family unit and yourself for the grief you will need to work through for not having your own biological child that you want so badly.