Hi Fergus - my name is Ozzie, or at least that's what my new Mum calls me. She is off doing some silly human thing, so I am trying this keyboard thing out. She gets mad when I try to put my opinion in when she's here, so now I have me chance!! Do you like cuddling? I do, especially when Mum cuddles me to her chest and I can feel her heart beat. It's too slow and I worry about her, but she comes home with such amazing food, it must be because she's tired. Do you like to chase leafs?? I love to do that....also to climb trees and fences.....spring is so much fun....I am so glad Mum and Midnight and Nici and Syl moved into my house. The other people and cats didn't let me come in, or share their food. Syl is very old, but lets me curl up with her; Midnight doesn't like me much at all, but Nici is my best bud!!! He is teaching me about living inside, and how to be on my best behaviour. I'm not good at that yet... but am trying very hard - maybe we could have a play-date??? I/ve heard that's what they do in polite society. I'll send you a photo soon....your in kittenhood, Ozzie.

Those interested in South African plants might want to keep posted with the soon to open mail order business(probably in February, 2004), of a local northern California retail nursery, Annie's Annuals in Richmond. Annie has been growing quite abit of South African stuff, from trees, shrubs, succulents, perennials, bulbs to annuals. I have picked up some interesting things, and was surprised to see Cunonia and Cussonia seedling trees, and Strelitzia reginae 'Mandela's Gold' on my last visit to the nursery. I also wish I had snapped up some of the Mimetes cucullatus last year when she had a crop of this. It is worth checking out her web site to see if she has anything of interest, and she is also open weekends starting January for people close enough to get to Richmond, Ca. in the East Bay. It may surprise people to know that some of the South African annuals from Namaqualand are already in explosive full bloom at the nursery, such as Ursinia anthemoides which is as cheery orange as our native California poppy. I am not one of the owners, but have bought alot of plants from Annie over the years for my own landscape design business. I thought Annie's might be a good source for USA residents wanting a mailorder source of live plants. She also grows things from other mediterranean climates in particular, so it is not just South African natives. Go to www.anniesannuals.com for hours of operation, dates open, special events, and directions to the nursery and intended start date of the mail order business. Lots of South African plants are looking good/or blooming here in the San Francisco Bay Area. Several Aloes are already blooming, such as A. arborescens, A. marlothii, A. x spinossismus, A. thraskii and buds on A. saponaria and A. striata. Several Plectranthus species have never quit blooming here, such as the pale lavender shrubby P. zuluensis and the dwarf pungent ground cover P. neochilus, with deep showy purple flowers for sun or shade and very little summer water. I also have several Proteas blooming in the garden such as the hybrid P. 'Pink Ice', Leucodendron salignum cultivars and a Leucospermum 'Tango' which is budding up nicely. Up at the UC Berkeley Botanic Garden, a was amazed to see a rather short Highveld Cabbage Tree/Cussonia paniculata only 4 feet tall coming into bloom. I also have remnant blooms on the Nerine bowdenii and Hyposestes aristata in the garden, as well as Clivia nobilis. A couple of South African bulbs blooming at present include the beautiful blue Moraea polystachya, Anomatheca laxa, the lovely evergreen with deep red flowers, Tritaniopsis caffra, and the first of the Chasmanthe floribunda 'Duckittiae', as well as flowers on the Bulbine frutescens and B. f. 'Hallmark'-the orange flowered cultivar.

Sure arjay! I bought our kitty condo from overstock and am very pleased with it. It was reasonably priced, very easy to assemble and once I attached the bobbles to it, the girls took to it immediately. They love it and use it all the time. Unlike a lot of them this is not covered in carpet, but in fleece which is great as it doesn't rip out or shred like carpet does and it's much softer.

Lisa, I can see where you are confused. When I said our youngest son "treats us wonderful", I mean he calls every night, he visits frequently, we go out to eat together, he calls when I'm sick, etc. He does things a son should do to show love. Our oldest son seldom calls us, seldom comes to visit, never knows when we've been gone a week on vacation, etc. I should have said he treats "me" wonderful. His dad rarely calls either one of our sons, until I remind him he hasn't called them in months. He doesn't even know our youngest son's home phone number. Maybe this is just a man thing, but something I'm not used to. Re: the one acre. This acre of land was given to our son strictly by me, not my DH. For years, I have asked my DH to sell this big house so we could get out of debt before retirement, and we could pay cash for a nicer/smaller home. We had this one acre to build on. He said he would NEVER build a house on that lot and to never ask him again (we had this land surveyed as two lots and this one acre is a corner lot and he doesn't like corner lots). One day when our youngest son was visiting, I said, "why don't you build on this acre and start building up equity in a home, and quit paying rent?" I was surprised when he later called me and said he did want to build on this acre. Surprised because he left our home because he couldn't get along with his dad (a combination of youth on his part and depression/anger on DH's part). I felt like I was doing something good; to help him get a start in life. I won't even go into the negative comments I have heard from my DH (my son knows nothing about these comments and never will, but I'm sure he knows his dad has said things. He doesn't need to know "words" that would hurt him that come from a mentally ill person. He even asked me not to tell him anything negative his dad said. I know his dad is happy for him, as he walks over to the land daily to see what progress is being made, and today wanted to buy him a refrigerator for his home, and that's a lot of money. (This is what depression does to you; the mood swings. I never know when he's going to have a good day or a bad day). I have learned to realize that a lot of things he says, I know he doesn't mean or doesn't realize what he is saying. I also have learned not to get hurt so much over his words and a lot of times I ignore what he says. How else would I be able to live with him so long? LOL! Re. the comment: "neither one of our sons have a good relationship with their father", that is very true! Neither one of our sons would go to their dad with any problem they have. I don't call that a "good" relationship, do you? A son can treat a parent "wonderful", and still not have a good relationship. By "good" relationship, I mean a "close" relationship. There is no doubt he loves his dad, but the closeness I have with my sons, he doesn't have this. I think this is because of his depression and the mood swings brought on by depression. Re: grandchildren. I don't think I have posted anywhere that I am "without" grandchildren. I would never deny my grandchildren. I may not get to see them much at my house, but I have a 6 yr. old granddaughter and a 15 mo. old grandson. I think you are confused as when I said "I want to build a smaller home and be a grandmother", I meant I will finally get to be a "grandmother" when my youngest son has children, to be able to paint the spare bedroom pink or blue, and put a swing set in my yard. (Of course, all this depends on my DH's behavior; and whether they can even have children. He is real close to his fiance & I see a wedding next year. She is moving to his new home as well.) Last summer we went to one of our granddaughter's ballgames and my DH was going to walk to the concession stand with her. Our DIL pitched a fit and told me "she is NEVER to go anywhere with him!" I felt this very rude, and I don't know who heard her. You could see the concession stand from where we were standing, it was very close. She asked him to go with her to get some bubble gum. In Feb. our youngest son invited me to go the circus with them, as he was taking our granddaughter to the circus. Our son said, Mom, I know you have talked so much about wanting to go to the circus, Barnum & Bailey. I said, sure. When our DIL got to his apartment with our granddaughter, she refused to speak to me! I had done nothing to her. She told our son in the parking lot before they came inside that "she wasn't told I was going". This upset me so much, I couldn't hold the tears back. She stormed in his apartment, totally ignoring me, and they left after she told our son "we will be here to pick her up". I told them "oh, there's no reason for you to have to get out at 12:00. I'll drop her off." I followed them to their car, she got in with our grandson, and I asked my oldest son, "why can't I bring her home?" He just said we'll come get her, and he got in the car and left. He seemed embarassed, and he didn't know what to say to me. He had to do what she said, regardless of who it hurt, and just left me standing there in the parking lot. Since this circus incident, I have not been to their house much. So there is more than one side to all this mess - my DH's depression and behavior and my DIL's control/anger, sometimes unwarranted by both of them, and me just going with the flow. I hope this helps clear up any confusion. I am just trying to live one day at a time, not knowing what tomorrow will bring. I am not unhappy in my marriage as someone has suggested. We have a lot of wonderful days and a lot of good times together. I am unhappy mostly because of this difficult situation and longing to be a grandmother. I just wasn't willing to "give" if they weren't going to "give", but after reading these replies, I don't feel like I have any other choice. Maybe if I give first and show them more love, they will slowly start caring more. All the replies I have received has helped me realize that unless I change myself, I am going to be missing out on a lot of closeness with my grandchildren and I would have no one to blame except myself. There are many days I get off work early and I could head toward my DIL's house. I say I have no hard feelings toward her, but I have a lot of resentment, so I just stay away. My DH works both Sats. & Suns. and I have plenty of time. p.s. I have never asked if I could take our granddaughter to McDonalds or anywhere with just the two of us because I have always felt guilty doing that behind my husband's back, as I know he would never be allowed to do this. I feel like that would be mistreating him by me doing that, so maybe I need to change my way of thinking on this.