Oh dear, Mimi. That's exactly why Kirk posted it over here first. A lot of people don't know about it. (I didn't for the longest time, but never asked!) Above the list of posts/Messages it says On-Topic Discussions [Switch to: Conversations] The conversations is a link "to the other side." I bookmark mine GJ1 and GJ2. Hope that helps, and hope to see you there. A lot of great, off topic discussions, prayer requests, help, etc. Just not the "junk" itself. Keeps this side cleaner for finding junk. Nancy

Thanks, Jeanne and Punk! I tried to suggest some kind of a 'white elephant' exchange in the beginning but they nixed it. I've only done what they called a WE-exchange once before and it was at least 15 years ago. It was done at a work xmas party so there were more than 100 people there. We were each supposed to bring something that was previously gifted to us, still new, that we didn't want. I remember bringing a santa-golfer-oven-mitt set. Everyone went nuts for it! it was being stolen all over the place. I remember drawing a "Buns of Steel" video tape and had no idea what the heck it was. I stole once and ended up with a box of candy but was yelled at because I did something wrong on stealing it. LOL!!!! Anyway, I tried to describe that procedure as well as I could remember but they seem to want to play a game. And they definitely want NEW gifts w/ a $25 price. I'll try again to convince them based on my memory and your recommendations as well. Why try to reinvent something that already works?! :) PS: I'm feeling much better and may actually restart my 'half-fast decorating'! that's a pun I just made up and I love it because it describes my decorating perfectly! ;) We're having a snowstorm today and I don't care because yesterday I got another reprieve on my pending surgery. yay! This post was edited by party_music50 on Fri, Dec 13, 13 at 10:02

hi,just found this forum after I was paid memberand was searching around. I have a 7 yr.old dd that is "gifted" loose term kinda like I. q. tests .she was born and early on was in daycare and never in pre k or little kids programs and we were very afraid that she would not know enough it turned out she knew to much . that said she was read to before birth and every day since then she started reading and spelling at 4 reading past k at 5 and entered k at 6 and it was then that we realized she knew all of this stuff literally shoot she knew all the prices in the shopping cart at 5 and they were counting to ten, they were working on abc 123 and she was spelling compound words whew . I read all of the folks responses here and learn from all .I like the word advanced . although true genius is out there it is rare and if it is genetic how many folks are never seen or "never made it out of the trailer park". this happens to women more as they are impregnated and become mothers and slaves to their children . we are blessed although she could have recieved more attention and it took past the first 9 wks of kindergarten the system here weeds these kids out and they are transferred in to a "gifted setting . meaning she starts school in a 1st grade class then spends 4 hrs a day in another class with only 7 other kids from different ages . and one teacher, in days of under staffed schools this is like a parents dream .and although I don,t feel she is moving fast enough she gets one on one .I know that sounded bad but I still don,t feel the teacher quite has a grasp on what all she knows academically. to help answer the question the answers about finding the best of the best and start there are solid. also you don,t state what leads you to think this kid is "gifted " does she just naturally act smarter than her peers is she advanced like my kid . is she counting stars . I would also like to touch on another touchy subject I am now leaning towards the idea that add is present in my d.d. and this is something I said before she was born if people thought this she would not go on meds .I say this about her only because after watching some t.v commercials my wife referred me to aadd website and slowly after about a yr. of learning, I am the poster child for this "disorder" and my daughter has a lot of my characterristics . and although not nearly as hyper or busy as I was she does a lot of the same things I did I am still learning on this one .and frankly it scares me because it is like a big book was opened explaining some of what I have done and do and why and then complicates it further looking at my daughters angle. I am 41 and was mostly ignored or put to back of the class when I was young because of a lot of the things I heard described here. correcting teachers when your 9 doesnt get you brownie pts.and was constantly pressed to show my work when I could not do it on paper but could think of it and then write it down I speed read and read books backwards I did not know this was not normal until last yr. the reason I include myself is I probably have an Iq in the very high category and was gifted as a child although not recogognized and I always knew I was smarter I just got ignored or so much was expected of me that I just rebelled. I quit school at 16 and aced the state test and ged test they thought I cheated somehow and I took it twice scoring higher the second time I turned to drugs and alcohol and joined the navy at 17 same thing I scored so high on the tests that they tried to put me in a lot of jobs that I could not handle . the nuke sub program for a teen hippie ,yeah right . and although I am good at every thing I try I technically don,t have a trade . although I do have 10 1/2 yrs. sobriety. the reason I included that was to show how quickly you can lose the game as parents I was bored and needed things to do to see different things and while someone was very strongly urging me to stay inside of the box I was figuring a way out and should have died many times while thinking I was smarter than them. I don,t claim to know much about parenting ,it is a learning game I do know if you read to your kids they will be smarter than your neighbors kid. and I,m teaching my d.d. to use her knowledge and teach her friend the stuff she allready knows and take something from your friend because no one knows it all . just make sure you are not doing this for your self and be willing to take it all the way . sorry so long but I have a lot of questions also .Rick In wichita

Giving a gift is something you do because you WANT to, and I think it says a lot that your DD feels comfortable asking you to take her shopping to get her stepsister and dad a gift. I also understand why you reminded her to get SM something, it teaches her to think of others feelings, etc. though I'm not sure I would push much if she said she didn't want to get certain people gifts if she had an acceptable reason. As for your family, when they family say something like that, I'd tell them that I understand what they mean but if you stoop to dad's level and refuse to take your DD shopping, the only person that will be hurt by it is your DD. Besides, you are teaching her to be a better person. I wouldn't worry so much about showing her whether you are accepting of the situation, etc. You are showing her that you care about HER feelings, despite your own. I used to take my exBF's kids shopping for their mother on her birthday, mother's day & Christmas. I would also save the things they made in school for "mom" and put them in a box so when she rolled into town once a year, she had all the stuff they made her over the year, along with school pictures & presents. I didn't like nor dislike her. She wasn't around to know much about her except she chose drugs & her boyfriend over sticking around to raise her kids, but the kids wanted to give mom that stuff & it meant something to them so that is what I did for them. Now with SD, it's a totally different scenario. In the early years, I took her shopping for her mom. I also got BF's kids and SD's sister things too for Christmas. I made BM a scrapbook with pictures from all of SD's Christmases. It was my attempt to be friendly with BM. As things progressively got worse with BM & SD over the years, I stopped shopping for BM but still bought BF's kids things. I stopped shopping for SD's sister after she wrote nasty things about me on a social network. and this year, I have decided to give SD one gift for me & let DH do the rest of the shopping for SD. AS for taking SD shopping for her mom or anyone else, DH has always said no but didn't care if I did it. Of course, I agree that if the child earns money, they can spend it how they choose. I offered SD a job over the summer & she said she wanted to but never did it. Since now she isn't talking to me, she can't exactly discuss payment for chores with me and DH is not interested in paying her to do anything... he can't even get her to do her basic chores. Amber is right, you are teaching her something so valuable and hopefully your family will come to see it. On the other hand, if your DD asks dad to take her shopping for you but he refuses, then he will have to deal with the consequences... and your daughter will know who is cooperative and who is not.