Some of you may remember my Mom....?

12 years ago

We found out last June that Mom had cancer. The Doctors said she had a year to 18 months. She's been having chemo all this time, and it has taken it's toll on her. They first decided to discontinue the chemo for December, so she'd be able to have a decent Christmas with family.

Now they are saying that the chemo is not doing her any good anymore, and to stop it altogether. And her time is shortened to 2-4 months. I'm so sad. I knew it was coming....she's almost 90 years old....but still, it's hard.

My 9 yr old GS and I are going out to B.C. to see her the first week of February. I'll give my DSis a break and look after Mom, and DSis will take my GS skiing. It will get her out of the house, doing something she loves, and Mom will get to see my DS.

They say that her cancer is in the liver, which is the most peaceful way (for cancer) to go. They are managing the pain for her. She will just sleep more and more, until she just doesn't wake up. It will take a couple of months or more, and at least I will get to see her.

I've had a really good cry today, and I'm sure it won't be the last cry I'll have for her. She's almost 90, has had a wonderful life, with family who adore her, but suddenly I'm realizing how much I'm going to miss her.

I ask only for prayers that she will have the peaceful ending that the Doctors say she should have. Thankyou all in advance.

Laurel

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Comments (42)

JoAnn_Fla
12 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear this. Prayers for her & family.
Jasdip
12 years ago
Oh God Laurel,
I'm so sad for you. I have tears in my eyes reading this and seeing the picture of your Mom.
I'm so very, very sorry for you.
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alisande
12 years ago
It's always sad; there's no getting around it. I'm glad you realize she's had a good live, and a long one. She's truly beautiful, and she looks like a happy woman. Hugs to you.
Pieonear
12 years ago
I'm sorry to hear this. She is sure a pretty lady.
taigen_gw
12 years ago
I am so sorry that you are all going through this. There is nothing I can say to help but know that there is always a shoulder (and many more) to lean on here when you need to have one of those cries.
Hugs to you and prayers for your continued strength and for your moms continued peaceful journey.
nanatricia
12 years ago
I too am so very sorry.
tami_ohio
12 years ago
What a beautiful lady! My prayers for all of you.

Tami
patti43
12 years ago
Laurel, I'm so sorry about your mother. It will be good for you to go and be with her. Even though she has lived a long life, none of us are ever ready to give up our mama.

Your mother is beautiful and she sure doesn't look 90. (((Laurel)))
glenda_al
12 years ago
You must have wonderful memories!
She is such a lovely person!

(((Laurel)))
Jamie_LA
12 years ago
Such a beautiful woman!! I will be sending up my thoughts and prayers for your mom and your family.
Charlee_MO
12 years ago
Lots of prayers and hugs for you, Laurel.

I will tell you this, during Glen's last days, he wasn't hurting. At least he said he wasn't. His was in the liver too and like your DMom the treatments stopped working.

That's a great picture of a beautiful lady.

May God bless you.

Charlotte
Holly_ON
12 years ago
Sending a cyberhug.
carol_in_california
12 years ago
I am really sad to hear the bad news about your beautiful Mom.
Think about calling in Hospice.....the Hospice nurses are excellent in managing pain and the support available for your Mom and her family is very good.
minnie_tx
12 years ago
Bless her heart and yours. Now there is no reason why she can't just "walk out of this room into the next" Keep her close by in your thoughts while she makes the tranisition to this new experience hugs!!
nodakgal
12 years ago
I am so sorry to hear this Laurel.
Hugs and prayers for your Mom, you and your family!
Georgysmom
12 years ago
What a lovely picture of a beautiful lady. I know you are devastated by this and well you should be but on the other hand, how lucky you were to have her all these wonderful years. I pray when the time comes, she goes peacefully. Hugs to you and your family.

Dottie
wanda_va
12 years ago
I lost my mother almost 2 years ago, so I know the pain. Your mother is a beautiful lady, and God blessed her with a long and wonderful life. I hope the memories of her will help get you through the rough days ahead. Your mother, you and your family are in my prayers.
lydia1959
12 years ago
Sending prayers for a beautiful lady! I hope you, your GS and her have a wonderful visit.
mamatoad
12 years ago
It's never easy to say goodbye to someone we love. I am sure she will be happy to have you and GS spend some time with her. My niece died of liver cancer (in September) and she went very peacefully, I was told. Sending comforting thoughts and prayers for both of you.
luckygardnr
Original Author
12 years ago
That pic was taken 5 years ago at her baby Sisters 50th anniversary. I was so proud of her. 85 years old, at the time, a looked dynamite!

Charlee and Mamatoad, it's good to hear that others with liver cancer had peaceful passings too. That's really all we want for her now.

Carol, my DSis does have people who come in now twice a week to give her and her DH a break, and they have already made arrangements for hospice to come when the time is near.

Thank you all for your support. It means so much that I have an outlet here for my feelings and fears. I can't really talk to my DH as he hates to see me upset and usually has to leave the room. God love him, but he doesn't handle tears very well. LOL!
Charlee_MO
12 years ago
You can email me if you need to talk to someone who's been there. I lost my mom less than 3 months before I lost Glen.

Hugs,
charlee
User
12 years ago
It's never easy to say good-bye for now. I like to believe my Mom is finally with my Dad who left us in 1984. And most of my Mom's family are now gone. I don't believe that once they pass on they are gone. I believe their spirits are real. My dearest friend believes she gets signs from her Mom a lot.

Let the tears come and fall as you feel them. They are a great release.

((((((((((((((((Laurel and family))))))))))))))))

I too pray your Mom goes in her sleep, peacefully.

LOL
McPeg
jel48
12 years ago
I'm so sorry, Laurel. Your mom looks like a lovely lady and I know you will miss her so much. It's good that they're able to control the pain, so that she can enjoy the time she has left with you and the rest of your family.
hgl_gaylemarie
12 years ago
What a lovely Lady. I will add my prayers for her.
gemini40
12 years ago
My prayers to you and your family . Glad you are going to be able to spend some time with her.

June
phyllis__mn
12 years ago
May I add my gentle thoughts to you and your mother? That was a lovely tribute to her, in your posting.
Granlan_TX
12 years ago
Yes, I do remember your lovely mom.

Wishing you and your dear mother peace during this time.

Blessings to you all, Laurel.
kayjones
12 years ago
I am sorry to hear this about your mom. I can relate to your pain, as my DH went through months of chemo for pancreatic cancer, only to be told he needed to call hospice - they could do no more for him, and that he had 2-4 months left - he died 2 months and 9 days after that doctor visit.

Knowing the inevitable made it difficult and painful for us, but I cannot begin to imagine the feelings my DH had, knowing he was going to die so soon!

I will pray for a swift and peaceful passing for your mom, and that you will be blessed with the strength you need at this terrible time.
dotmom
12 years ago
I also want to say, she is a beautiful Lady. Add my Prayers that she has a peaceful passing and that you can be comforted by your memories of all she did for you, after all, you are you because of her. ((((Hugs))))
jannie
12 years ago
My Dad died in 1998 of liver cancer and liver failure. I got to visit him a week before he passed. He got Hospice at Home care. They were wonderful. A gentle passing for sure. My prayers for your Mom and your family. May God's Love embrace you.
ivamae
12 years ago
Laurel, I'm so sorry.

I met your Mom a few years ago when she was still living in Ontario. I didn't know she had moved out west.

We had a good chat, as she was raised in the same small town as my mother and remembered sleigh riding down my Grandfathers hill. I lost my mother when she was 78 years old. That is 36 years ago, I still miss her terribly.

I certainly pray for a calm and peaceful parting for her and that you will have a wonderful quiet time with her in February.

Hugs to you, too. I'm so glad that you let us know but so sad about the circumstances..

ivamae
carol_in_california
12 years ago
Laurel, I am glad someone is coming in to help.
I used to be a Hospice nurse and almost every family told me they were sorry they waited so long to call Hospice in.
Please think about having Hospice come in earlier.
I will continue keeping you and your family in my prayers.
And, of course, your lovely Mom is receiving my prayers, too.
lynn_d
12 years ago
What a lovely woman your mom is, Laurel, she is in my thoughts and prayers. Our moms are such very special people and hold such a special place in our hearts, they truly are the one person that loves us unconditionally. I miss my mom every single day.
sheilajoyce_gw
12 years ago
Gosh, she sure looks young for her age. My mother died of liver cancer too. Back in the 1950s, they really couldn't do much of anything for liver cancer. She left 4 children still in school and a husband who adored her.
Charlee_MO
12 years ago
I want to second what Carol said about hospice. I didn't have it for Glen but that's because he didn't want them to come.

I also wanted to let you know I sent you an email through your page here.
FlamingO in AR
12 years ago
I am so sorry, Laurel. Your mom looks like a very sweet, fun lady and I'm sure you'll miss her terribly. I bet you have a wonderful relationship with her and those memories will help you so much when you need them.

Good luck, sweetie. I wish things were different for you.
country_bumpkin_al
12 years ago
D@mnD@mnedCancer!!! The only good thing I can say about cancer is....it usually gives you time to say the things you want/need to say. I am so very sorry! Your Mom is a beautiful lady and I'm amazed at how young she looks! Enjoy your time with her!!
donna37
12 years ago
(((Laurel))) Your Mom is a beautiful lady. Keeping her and family in my thoughts and prayers. My sister passed away with liver cancer, 11 years ago at the age of 76 and I really miss her.
donna37
12 years ago
(((Laurel))) Your Mom is a beautiful lady. Keeping her and family in my thoughts and prayers. My sister passed away with liver cancer, 11 years ago at the age of 76 and I really miss her.
joyfulguy
12 years ago
I remember that it was when you came to be with your Mom while she was dealing with surgery that we met ... and I, too, hadn't realized that she'd moved away.

How fortunate you are that you have so many good family memories, and they will help to sustain you through the difficult days ahead.

While this separation comes for all of us, it is even harder, I think, when there is deep love for the one who is departing ... yet we would not ask for the love to be shallower, in order to mitigate the pain.

Send me an email whenever you feel like it ... and I'll be happy to come up for a visit almost whenever it may be convenient, should you so desire.

((((((Laurel, Mom and family))))))

ole joyful
luckygardnr
Original Author
12 years ago
Thanks Ed, and everyone else for the wonderful sentiments. I so appreciate it. I realize her death is imminent, but I am going to miss her. When she moved to B.C. to live with my DSis, I figured I could always visit her, but I guess when I go in February, it will be the last time I ever see her alive. It has kind of thrown me for a loop.

Anyway, Ed, as for your offer, (and I thank you so much for it) I'm thinking that maybe this summer, you and Ivamae, Jasdip and Melzer and I could get together for a BBQ or something. I'd love to host and love to see you all again, but in better circumstances than my Moms impending demise. By then it should all be said and done, and I will be in a better frame of mind. Does this make sense?
kathy_
12 years ago
Hugs sweetie...I am so saddened to read this. I am so grateful to still have my mom after so many cancer surgeries and scares. If you need to scream at the world - start with me...I understand.
Kathy

Some of you may remember my Mom....?

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