It is early spring. Every year it is the time when a ton of "be priveledged enough to design my no budget elaborate landscape for free" threads come out. I don't think it has changed much since the mass exodus a few years ago. Many of the fun and informative personalities have taken up blogging as individuals and in groups rather than in open forums. That is good because it is a source for focused writings that stay on point and don't become corrupted. Those are great sources. Open forums are a totally different animal where we are all subject to other people's comentary and a greater degree of vulnerability. There is some discomfort in that and certainly a lot less control of where threads will lead. Sometimes a consensus of nonsense builds, but the openess is what it is all about. I really like it because it lets me know when I am not doing a good job of communicating, it points out when I'm wrong, and other people interact and reshape my perspective continually. Yes, there is a lot of stuff that is not worth reading or that is just plain annoying (myself included, I'm sure). It just depends what you want to get out of it and what you want to put into it. It is a difference between reading or writing and true interaction.

Geogirl has a good point. There may be services available to your son--but you have to know about them and ask for them in order for him to get them. Again, my nephew's disability is physical, so not an exact comparison to your son, but he is also completely mainstreamed. And that has caused some problems, because he's not in a special ed classroom with a special ed teacher who knows about all the resources. There's a ton of adaptive equipment that the school has, like rulers and compasses and protractors, but no one thinks ahead that during math lessons that use these, it might be a good idea to have them in the classroom for Nephew to use. He can't hold or move a standard ruler very well. But the classroom teacher doesn't know they exist, and the special ed teacher never sees the lesson plans. So what happens is that a week is spent sending notes back and forth between home and school and finally the necessary adaptive equipment is identified and located and given to Nephew. And then the next week, the class moves on to a new lesson topic. My brother and SIL have found that they need to really be on top of some of this stuff and remind the teachers repeatedly, to make sure that Nephew gets what he needs. And this is with a school system that is really trying to work with them--from the start they have been very willing to try new things, to keep Nephew in a regular class (he has health issues so a home nurse accompanies him to school daily), to really try and get him the best education possible. I can't imagine what it would be like with a school system that had less money or no desire to really work for Nephew. My brother constantly gets, "Sure, we have X equipment. All Nephew has to do is ask for it." But it can takes days or weeks to find out the school has the equipment. My brother finally broke down and asked for a list of every single piece of adaptive equipment the school system has, so that they can ask for things without spending days sending notes back and forth. It's the little things like this--yes, the school can help, but you have to know what to ask for in order to get that help. And if you don't know the help exists, it's pretty near impossible to get that help. I would encourage you to ask about other options and find out what's out there. Pull-out sessions, one-on-one aides for certain subjects, extra tutoring, whatever the school has to offer. Ask other parents what support services their kids are getting. And when you identify a specific problem, be it that it takes your son half an hour to figure out what the homework assignment is or that after weeks of your working with him, he still is not grasping a specific concept, go to the teacher and ask what can be done to address that issue. The regular classroom teachers aren't going to know everything that's available, they have too many kids with too many different needs in one classroom, but they should be able to help you find out what's out there, or point you in the right direction.

This story is painfully familiar, so I will tell you mine and hopefully it can help you. Hindsight does help here. I went through the same thing with my now 19 DS. He was always an A student, very bright and scored very highly (98th%) on standardized tests. He was identified as gifted in second grade. Socially had some problems all the way through school. He was the "nerd" if you will, not the popular kid! Anyway, his junior year we started to see his grades take a severe tumble. At about the same time, I received a phone call from a teacher who was concerned because he hadn't turned in any assignments and the teacher had warned him. The end of the semester was approaching and rather than fail the teacher was willing to accept his assignments late and grade at 80% instead of the 100%. Better than nothing. I talked with DS to find out if anything or anyone was bothering him and he said no, but wasn't able to articulate why he wasn't able to follow through with handing in his homework. He took his semester exams and scored 96, 98, etc on all of them! He also received a 33 on his ACT exam yet was practically failing in school! Something didn't add up! There was such disparity between his everyday school work and his exam grades. Depression came to mind, but I was at a real loss as to what was going on. Nothing was changing even after speaking with him. I was so concerned and frightened. Ironically, my husband had received an invitation from his boss to attend a fundraising dinner for a private school in our area that educates and supports kids with dyslexia and ADD and ADHD. MY DH's boss gave a very moving speech that night about his own son and the struggles they had had. They had sent him to military school, and also had an intervention of sorts where counselor's actually came at 4:30 in the morning to take him away for treatment. The reality of all this was that their son was not 'bad' or 'acting out', but was instaed finally diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with ADHD. Not something that the parents had ever considered. I sat listening to this with tear's in my eyes because EVERYTHING sounded just like my DS! I started going to websites to learn more. In the back of the program from that fundraiser was the name of a psychologist that specialized in adolescents with ADHD and he was in my area. Until then, I had never considered it because my DS was not loud and hyper but rather passive and quiet. I made the appointment and after some diagnostic tests and talking, my son had the diagnosis of inattentive ADHD. And boy, did he fit the bill! Inattentive is a great word for him. The next step was finding a medication that worked for him and this took some time. Not always easy, but we spent the better part of a year trying to find something that worked. There are lots of categories out there! I tell you my story because just like the night I attended that fundraiser, I had never considered ADD either. In fact, most teachers don't either. They don't always have the time with so many kids to teach. Things DO jump out at me now about him. He is extremely forgetful, a big hallmark of inattentive ADD, thus forgetting assignments etc. I even told the Dr. that when DS was little we nicknamed him "The absent minded professor"! His reaction was "BINGO"! His senior year DS applied to 5 colleges. He was rejected from all but one! Today he is in his sophmore year at Case Western and we take it one semester at a time. So far so good! So, just like the night the angels led me to that dinner or our stars were aligned or whatever you want to think, I hope you will consider my story and start a conversation with your family doctor. You have nothing to lose! Good luck to you and your DD!

Shop around for a local architect. Expand the definition of "local" until you find one that fits. If the architect wants to meet in their office, take the husband AND the kids; they will supply a lot of information. Most of my meetings are at my client's home or cottage or at the site. Most of my clients live outside Michigan and some outside the United States. I am currently working with a client that I have only met via FaceTime. I had one client I never met. I'm sure there are several architects that have similar practices. Most builders I work with are also use to working for clients from outside the area and most of the time there is little need for me to be on site during the construction process, but there are those times. I've had a couple project where I was the on-site architect for am architectural firm from outside the area and our client didn't want to pay for travel time. Bottom line (literally) is to start looking local.