Her vs She
15 years ago
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- 15 years ago
- 15 years ago
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'She must be the better person, because Dad chose her.'
Comments (54)I agree the child should be free to express their feelings in whatever way they can word it. They don't understand hierarchies and family politics. What irked me is I didn't bring any sort of ranking into the equation at all in the post that people keep refering to and yet that's what it got turned into. I nor the girls ever mentioned anything at all in the post about their mother or I being better, or the best or #1 but since the bio mom was the one who the girls were questioning that's what it got turned into. Mom was perceived by the other posters as "the winner" so I got tore apart. The double standard just gets me. I all the sudden went from step parent sewing having a conversation with step daughters to the underhanded wrecker of bio mom who was in some way trying to make her look inferior because the girls father bought me a sewing machine. I handled the situation no difference than you and "ranking" never even came up but I turned into the competitive witch. I think you did nothing wrong at all. A____ should be able to express himself however he feels and so should the girls....See MoreMy wife says she loves me but should I believe her?
Comments (22)>>but I don't see how becoming a single parent and putting my kids through that constant struggle is better than what's going on now. >> My Asian parents stayed together for eight years after things went sour, because they had the whole "we're together for the sake of our children." My spouse's mother agonized for almost two decades about divorcing her husband and marrying a family friend. He and I have been together for, oh, about 40 years now. We BOTH agree, the idea of "staying married for the kids" is one of the cruelest and most self-deceptive things parents can do. Both of us were infinitely relieved when our parents respectively divorced and married people who suited them better. Your kids know there is trouble already. They may not be able to verbalize it and are certainly not old enough to analyze it. But they KNOW there is trouble in Paradise and that there is tension 24/7 in their lives. Children are very sensitive to those kinds of emotional messages; you can't hide from people you are living with day-to-day. If she can't or won't be a good mother, let her go. Maybe she will be able to better express affection for them when it's on her own terms and she isn't feeling pressured by outside expectations. If that means she's a part-time mom, that's not the worst thing in the world for them. Children need to be loved and encouraged. They don't need a fantasy that they're the center of everybody's world, because they aren't. Give them a good life. Give them joy, reassurance that you will be there for them, and a sense of hope. Don't try to give them the "perfect" life, because you can't. No parent can....See MoreTook her inside and she's blooming like crazy
Comments (10)Thanks, popmama. Last October when I first brought it inside after researching how to handle the transition I thought I'd remembered an article saying that a hibiscus should be brought into a dark place like a basement to spend the winter in dormancy. I was a rank beginner then and did that and over the next few days it put out blooms like crazy (and, I think, lost leaves like crazy). I thought I was the luckiest man in the world until I realized that wasn't the correct thing to do, and that the wild blooming response was a desperate attempt to make seeds once it realized its own life was in danger -- from being in a situation without any light. A year later, seeing some nice blooms a week after being brought inside, that whole scenario last year came back to my memory. I'm worried that that situation is being repeated, that it somehow senses its life is in danger. Even though she spent all of last October - March in the same spot and even though this year she's only lost two or three leaves since I brought her in. Maybe I am genuinely just very lucky and Miss Hibiscus is just very happy. I was just hoping for some assurance about that!...See MoreWhat a beauty she is, but what's her name?
Comments (10)If it's outside and you let it produce seed it will sow itself around. It will not be 'confined' by the basket. It doesn't 'take over' but it does take advantage. Consider how easily a seed found the nice juicy growing medium in your pot even though it is hanging up under a porch. This is is a highly successful weed species which has spread itself around the world. It can germinate, grow, flower and set seed in a short period on any patch of bare soil and will do so year round in mild winters. Although it is edible few people would consider it anything but a weed in a cultivated situation. I'd get rid of it personally. Either by eating it or composting it....See More- 15 years ago
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